Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3

by Marie James

  Snatch ignores all of them, which is strange considering he and Itchy are usually joined at the hip. I ignore all of it. I don’t have time for petty drama. Darby walks up and runs a long fingernail over Snatch’s chest before sitting down in his lap. He doesn’t say a word to her, acting as if he’s pissed, but his tell with her is just as bad as his tell playing poker. He scoots his chair back a few inches to make sure she has enough room to be comfortable.

  Itchy lets out a pissed huff and walks to the back room. I shake my head at the immaturity both of them are showing. It’s like Junior High lunch break all over again. We never usually have guys fighting over the girls. They typically settle for whatever piece of ass is walking by or go into town to find something different, but something has been off since shortly after Darby showed up. I don’t even try to analyze it, but hopefully, they work that shit out before Prez has to step in.

  I deal another hand of cards even though it’s Snatch’s turn. He has his head bent toward Darby, and they seem to be having a serious discussion. I don’t even deal him in because he’ll hold up the game.

  “Did you order the pizza?” Kid asks frowning down at his cards.

  “Yeah, but they said it will be a while. They had a bus load of people show up ten minutes before I called.”

  I hear Ace sigh beside me.

  “What?” I ask raising my bet. I’m looking at a full house in my hands and plan to run the table with it.

  “I’m bored as fuck,” he says in a rush, folding his hand quickly. “We should head over to Jake’s.”

  I look over at Kincaid and then Kid. “I’m down for whatever,” I say taking a quick look at my watch. “It’s early, though. So it won’t be much more entertaining than here.”

  I see Kincaid shake his head. I knew what his response would be. It takes nearly an act of God to get him away from Em. If he’s not on a mission, he’s within a minute of her body; as if by some force no one can see keeps him within shouting distance of her. Most days he’s reluctant to even go on jobs since the one that kept him away from her for six weeks. I swear he didn’t come out of his room for two weeks after we got back.

  “We have an ass ton of pizza coming.” I remind him. “Why don’t you just call some people up and have them come hang out.”

  “Em is sleeping,” Kincaid interjects.

  “Khloe is studying,” Kid says at the same time.

  I chuckle at their reactions. This place sure has changed a bunch around here, and I get the feeling it will never be the same again. Gone are the days of wild parties and fucking out in the open. Now we’re catering to the sensibilities of the women a couple of the guys have decided to settle down with.

  I hear the crunch of gravel out front. “Seems they’re faster than they realized,” I say standing from the table.

  I walk to the door and pull my wallet out just as I hear a faint knock on the hardwood.

  “Hey, man,” I say pulling out a wad of cash without even looking up.

  “Shadow,” says a familiar voice.

  I snap my eyes up to meet the dark brown eyes of a woman I never thought I’d see again.

  “Misty?” I say not able to hide the surprise in my voice.

  She gives me a weak smile when I give her a once over. She looks exhausted and quite a bit different than the last time I saw her at the wedding reception. Her face is fuller, and she looks rumpled as if she’s been traveling for a while. I look past her and watch as the cab she must have taken here pulls off.

  “I didn’t have anywhere else to go,” she says softly and hangs her head.

  Before I can respond, I hear a whimper. I take a step closer and look further out the door.

  “What. The. Fuck?” I say before I can stop myself.

  Chapter 9

  I can see the confusion in his eyes as he looks down at Griffin and to me and back again.

  I sway slightly, growing wearier as I stand here. He notices and instinctively reaches out a hand to me.

  “Come in,” he says.

  I reach down for the handle of the carrier but wince in pain as I try to lift it.

  “Here, let me,” he says stepping out on the porch and easily lifting the car seat.

  I follow him inside and immediately shy away from numerous pairs of eyes. Kincaid I recognize, and I give him a slight nod of recognition.

  “What the hell is that,” a heavily tattooed man with a woman on his lap says pointing at Griffin.

  I take a step in front of Shadow and block the baby from his sight. He’s scary as hell looking, and I may be weak, but I’ll be damned if he’s going to hurt my son.

  I’m shaking and unable to rub away the chill I feel deep in my bones. Coming here was the worst idea ever. I don’t like the scrutiny of everyone’s stares.

  “Have a seat,” I hear Shadow’s familiar voice say behind me.

  I walk slowly to the couch he’s pointing at and take a seat. He places the car seat near my feet. I can tell Griffin is beginning to grow restless.

  I look up at him to see him run his hands through the thickness of his hair.

  “Kincaid,” he growls.

  “Everybody out!” I hear Kincaid say from across the room.

  I keep my eyes locked to Shadow’s as I hear chairs scoot and shuffle, and everyone leaves the room.

  “Did he knock some chick up?” I hear one guy ask.

  Shadow winces, hearing the same thing.

  “How old is he?” Shadow asks once the room is clear.

  “Four days,” I say softly.

  He begins pacing back and forth, his hand constantly running through his hair and over his beard. I’m queasy and before long I begin to see spots in my vision. I’m regretting not having taken a pain pill since leaving the hospital. The burn in my gut is unbearable.

  “Four days?” He finally says. “Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?”

  I shake my head. “They only keep you for two days after having a C-section,” I explain.

  “Is he…” he trails off and paces the length of the room again. “Is he mine?”

  “Yes,” I answer.

  “Fuck!” He roars.

  I cringe and shy away from his outburst. He’s pissed; that’s evident. I can only hope he doesn’t throw me out on my ass. The thought hits me that he may shove me out of the door and try to keep Griffin here. I grab the handle of the car seat protectively and pull him closer to me.

  I’ve only spent a limited amount of time with him, and most all of that time was naked and grunting, not having heart to heart conversations and getting to know each other. I don’t know what he’s capable of when he’s this mad.

  “Shadow,” Kincaid says walking back in the room. I see him place a hand on his shoulder and whisper something in his ear. Not being able to hear what Kincaid is telling him makes me nervous. The calmness that I see pass over Shadow’s eyes makes me even more uneasy.

  I shake my head to try to clear my vision.

  “You told me you were on birth control,” he says in a slightly calmer voice, but still seething. I can see his anger in the clenching of his hands.

  “I’m sorry,” I say and hang my head. I begin to sob uncontrollably. I once again doubt every decision I’ve ever made up until this point. Coming here was a horrible idea, but I can’t second guess the last night we spent together. That night, that lie, that mistake gave me Griffin, and he’s something I’ll never regret.

  “Sorry?” Shadow huffs out incredulously. “You show up here with a baby and sorry is all you have to say?”

  I look up at him with tears streaming down my face. I can tell by the hatred in his eyes that he thinks I’m upset as a way to get sympathy from him. I have no clue how I would react if the roles were reversed.

  “You ghosted me…” He looks up at the ceiling as if he’s trying to figure out the timeline. “Fuck,” he whispers. “Like seven months ago. I haven’t heard a word from you.”

  I clear my throat. “My parents,” I shake my hea
d. “My phone was broken.”

  It’s a sad, pitiful excuse. I could’ve found a way to get a hold of him. I didn’t reach out on purpose. Truth be told, until I walked out of the hospital and realized I was completely on my own with hardly any money and no car, I’d never had any intention of reaching out to him. The only reason I’m here now is because I’m responsible for more than just myself right now. I’m not selfish enough to make Griffin suffer over something as trivial as my pride.

  I swallow roughly as another wave of nausea hits me. My head is swimming again, my vision beginning to blur.

  “I can’t believe this shit,” he says turning away from me to continue pacing.

  “Take it easy,” I hear Kincaid say as if he can sense Shadow is about to fly off the handle.

  “This was a bad idea,” I say softly and stand from the couch. I reach for the handle of the car seat, unsteady on my feet.

  “Misty?” I hear someone say from a distance. I don’t even recognize the voice. “Misty!” It screams louder this time. My knees buckle, and I know I’m going to fall, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I only pray, on my way to the floor, that they won’t hurt my baby. I beg God before my head hits the carpet that his father will love him as much as I already do.

  Chapter 10

  I barely catch Misty before her head hits the floor. I hear Kincaid yell for Emmalyn.

  She’s completely limp in my hands as I look up at Kincaid. “Call an ambulance!” I yell.

  “Doc Davison will be faster,” Kincaid says calmly as he pulls out his phone.

  I’ve never felt more helpless than I do right now. My yelling has woken up the tiny baby in the car seat, and he begins to scream, adding to the stress of the situation.

  “Em,” I gasp as she runs into the room. “See if you can settle the baby down.”

  With wide eyes, she looks at Misty passed out in my arms and then down to the wailing infant in the car seat.

  “Please,” I beg, unsure of what I’m even asking for.

  She nods as she reaches for the handle of the car seat. She picks the carrier up and begins cooing to the child, walking further into the house, getting him away from the situation unfolding right now.

  If this were the battlefield, I’d have more control. I’d be able to assess the situation quickly and respond as needed, but I’m at a loss. I have no idea why she passed out. She looked extremely tired and worn out, but after just having a baby and traveling as far as she has in such a short period of time, I know there are other complications that may be at play here.

  Kincaid is talking into the phone, relaying to the doctor the limited information that we have.

  “Let’s get her to your room, man,” Kincaid says standing back to give me room. “Get her up off the floor.”

  I scoop her near weightless body in my arms and walk toward my room. I can tell she’s breathing, and that is reassuring.

  “She just had a C-section four days ago,” I say to Kincaid, who relays the information into the phone.

  I watch as he nods his head, listening to what the doctor has to say.

  He pulls the phone slightly away from his mouth. “He says to check the incision for infection.”

  I settle her on my bed and carefully pull her t-shirt up and the elastic to her sweats down.

  “Fuck,” I say on a hiss. “It’s open in a few spots and red as hell,” I say to Kincaid, who’s looking over my shoulder to see for himself.

  “It’s infected,” he says to the doctor. He listens for a little bit longer then says his goodbyes. “He’ll be here shortly.”

  I get up from the bed and head into the bathroom for a cold wash rag. I could feel how hot and feverish she was when I carried her into the room.

  I ring most of the water from the rag and walk back over and sit beside her. I run the cloth over her forehead and down her neck.

  “He doesn’t think we need an ambulance?” I finally say, growing nervous by the minute when she doesn’t wake up or even stir at the brush of the cold cloth on her skin.

  “He said since she’s breathing, he doesn’t feel like it’s necessary.” He looks down at her and angles his head oddly. “She doesn’t seem to be hemorrhaging.”

  I look down between her legs and don’t see any blood. I roll her body over slightly and look under her. I didn’t even consider that as a possibility. I’m too close to this whole thing to remain objective.

  I hear the baby crying before Em makes it to my doorway. I turn my head and see her rocking him gently, trying unsuccessfully to calm him down.

  I stand from Misty’s side and walk to the door. I step out into the hallway and see every damn fucker that’s here tonight loitering in the hallway. Nosey motherfuckers. If they want to get in my damn business, the least they can do is help. Pulling out my wallet I grab a credit card. “Ace, Itchy,” I say not taking my eyes from the small bundle in Em’s arms. “Go to fucking Target or something and get some formula and diapers.”

  “How the fuck do we know what to get?” I hear Ace say.

  “I don’t know shit about babies,” Itchy adds.

  “Just get one of everything,” I say shoving my credit card into Ace’s hand.

  I look from Em and back into the room.

  “Go,” she says softly. “I got him until they get back.”

  I look up to see Dr. Davison coming down the hall. I nod at Em and show him into the room.

  She still hasn’t woken up, and she doesn’t even flinch when he starts an IV and cleans up the incision on her lower stomach.

  “What are you doing?” I ask with a growl when he lowers her pants while pressing rather hard on her stomach.

  “I don’t know if she’s running such a high fever from the incision area or if she has an infection from not having all of her placenta removed.

  He slowly raises her pants back up situating them below her wound. “I don’t think the placenta is the problem. That is normally an issue with a vaginal birth.” He reaches up and adjusts the flow on her IV. “I’m giving her a pretty high dose of antibiotics. If her fever doesn’t break in the next four hours, you’ll need to get her to the hospital.”

  “Got it, Doc,” Kincaid says from the door. I turn to look at him, grateful he’s still here.

  “She may have just overdone herself. You said she’s four days post-partum?” He turns from facing her to look at me.

  “Yes,” I answer. “I assume she had the baby in Denver, but I’m not exactly certain. We didn’t get to talk much before she passed out.”

  “Is she nursing?” He asks pointing to the wet spots forming near her breasts through her shirt.

  I scrub my hand down my face. “I have no clue,” I say with exasperation. I have no idea what’s going on right now.

  “The antibiotics I gave her won’t harm the baby,” he says standing from the bed. “I also gave her some IV pain meds.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out a small bottle of pills and hands it to me. “And these are for after. That infection is pretty bad. She’s got to be in terrible pain. The hospital should’ve given her something.” He looks back at her in disappointment.

  Her skin is no longer the milky peach color it was the last time I saw her. She’s pale and has dark circles under her eyes. She doesn’t look at all like the woman I’ve been struggling to get out of my mind for the last several months. She looks frail and almost unrecognizable. My fingers itch to reach out to her, comfort her. Then I remember what she’s been hiding for the better part of the last year, and I feel my rage begin to bubble up again.

  “Hopefully, she hasn’t taken them all already,” he says softly, referring to the meds he’s certain the hospital would have given her.

  I want to correct him. The last thing Misty would do is abuse fucking prescription medication. I stop myself, because at the end of the day, what do I really know about her?

  He can see the anger in my eyes at his suspicion. “Just keep an eye on those. She can have one every four hours.”
He slaps me on the back and walks to Kincaid, who is still hovering in the doorway.

  I pocket the bottle of pills. A tiny whimper pulls my eyes away from Misty. I look over and see Emmalyn with the baby. I don’t even know his name. I feel like an asshole for not asking, but this situation is kind of fucked up. The math is right. I know it’s a possibility that he’s mine, but I just can’t wrap my head around the whole thing.

  Misty isn’t a whore on any level. She told me when we were together after the reception that she hadn’t been with anyone since the last time we were together, months before. I believed her then, and I have no reason to think she’s lying now.

  “Motherfucker,” I say getting lost in my head again.

  I realize I’m just staring at him.

  “Take him,” Em says shifting him slightly away from her body.

  I hold my hands up, unsure of what to do. I have no baby experience. I’m certain if I touch him, I’ll break him somehow.

  “I have to make his bottle,” she says with more insistence.

  She cradles him in my arms, and I hold him close to me.

  “I’ll be right back,” she says and leaves me in the room alone with him.

  I slowly make my way to the armchair in the corner and sit down with him, terrified to be left responsible for such a delicate thing.

  Chapter 11

  My eyes flutter open, taking in the unfamiliar room. They widen even further when I remember the events leading up to now. I try to sit up in bed and wince at the pain in my stomach.