Letting Go (Vista Falls #3)

by Cheryl Douglas

  Even when they were teenagers, the subject of his home life had been off-limits. Back then, he’d been embarrassed about it, and she suspected he still was. But it was important for him to know that he didn’t have to keep it all bottled up inside anymore. “You give really good advice, you know.”

  Taylor smiled. “Thanks. The leader of our support group is going to stay with her daughter in Florida this winter, and she’s asked me to lead the group for her. I hope I can give our members good advice.”

  “I’m sure you will.”

  “Okay,” Taylor said, reaching for a tablet on the desk. “I guess we should get down to business now, start talking about this party your man wants to plan.”

  Her man. She hoped come Saturday Colt would be her man again. In every way.

  Chapter Nine

  Colt didn’t know why he was so nervous. Backwoods had hosted dozens of parties for their employees over the years. But Wes had usually been there to make sure everything went according to plan. Colt just hung back and watched it all unfold. But tonight it was all on him, and he wanted to make sure he gave Bob the send-off he deserved.

  Colt scanned the burgeoning crowd looking for his date, but she was nowhere to be found, and that made him even more nervous. Had she changed her mind about joining him? She’d claimed that she needed to arrive early with the van so she and her assistant could deliver the table centerpieces. The flowers were already on the tables, but that didn’t necessarily mean Gabby had been the one to deliver them.

  “Great party, Colt,” Bob said, slapping him on the back. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

  “It was the least I could do. We’re all going to miss you.” Especially Colt. He’d always been able to confide in Bob as sort of a father figure.

  “I wish I could stay on.” He sighed. “But you know how it is, son. Family first.”

  No, Colt didn’t know anything about putting family first. He’d always tried to put his family firmly out of his mind. It seemed easier that way. “How’s Allen doing?”

  Bob held up his hand and tipped it back and forth in the universal “not bad” gesture. “He has his good and bad days. He’s going to have to learn to do everything all over again: walk, talk, feed and dress himself. It’s going to be a long, grueling battle, but the doctors are confident he’ll get there.”

  “That’s the main thing.” Colt couldn’t imagine having his life turned upside down the way Allen had.

  “Your florist friend is lovely.” Bob gestured to Gabby, who was setting a large arrangement on the buffet table, where the waitstaff had placed an array of appetizers to tide guests over until they sat down for dinner. “We met earlier. I got here before everyone else. Just needed a few minutes to collect myself, you know.”

  Colt took Gabby in and felt the relief wash over him. She was here. He could count on her to be by his side tonight, to hold his hand and give him an encouraging smile when he got up to give his speech. He couldn’t remember ever needing anyone the way he needed her tonight. He hated public speaking even when the people gathered were his friends and employees. “She is lovely, isn’t she?”

  Her long blond hair was naturally curly tonight instead of wavy, the way he was used to seeing it. When she wore it in her natural corkscrew curls, it was thick and wild and sexy. Bed head—that’s what came to mind. Getting her into bed and…

  “Ah, I see,” Bob said, smiling. “She’s more than a friend, isn’t she?”

  “She’s my date.” Colt laughed self-consciously when he realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Gabby since Bob pointed her out. “And my ex-girlfriend.”

  “Hmm, so there’s lots of history there,” Bob said and brought his glass to his lips.

  “Yeah, you could say that.” Colt watched her chatting with her assistant, arranging the flowers carefully before standing back to admire her handiwork.

  She was wearing a bright yellow dress that fit her like a second skin and multi-colored strappy sandals that meant she wouldn’t get a kink in her neck when he kissed her later.

  “When you returned to Houston unexpectedly last year, you told me you’d made a mistake. I got the feeling it had something to do with a girl. Is she the one?”

  Though Colt had described what had happened with Gabby as a mistake, he knew it wasn’t. Making love to her after all those years had felt even better than he’d remembered. “She and I sort of reconnected.”

  “Uh huh, and that’s all I’m going to get out of you.” Bob winked. “That’s okay. I know when to mind my business.”

  Bob had been happily married a long time, and Colt couldn’t think of anyone better to give him relationship advice. “I want to be with her.” Colt kept his voice low as he turned his back to Gabby. He didn’t think she could read lips, but he wasn’t willing to test it. “But I guess I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt her… like I did before.”

  “What happened?”

  “We dated back in high school. It was getting pretty serious. We talked about the future, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t do it. I was just a dumb kid. I couldn’t think about being tied down for the rest of my life.”

  “Most people are too young to make that kind of commitment straight out of high school,” Bob agreed. “But I’m sure you made her understand that it had nothing to do with her, right? That you just weren’t mature enough to—”

  “I bailed.” Colt winced when he thought of how she must have felt when she got that stupid note he’d left with her friend. “Wes had to get out of town, and I went with him. We weren’t planning to leave until school started in the fall, but we left two months early. I didn’t even say good-bye to Gabby. I just left.”

  “But she forgave you. She must have if she’s here with you tonight.”

  “I did it again.” Colt felt almost as if he was in a confessional, asking forgiveness for his sins. “I left town after we…” He didn’t think Gabby would want him to spill all of their secrets, though he trusted Bob.

  “And this happened last year?”

  “Yeah.” Colt sighed, embarrassed that he could have been so stupid, so cowardly, not once but twice. “That’s part of the reason we’re having such a hard time figuring things out. She’s not sure she can trust me, and to be honest, I’m not sure she can either.”

  “You mean you think you might cheat on her or take off on her again?”

  “I’d never cheat on her.” Colt couldn’t imagine any woman turning him on the way Gabby did. “But she wants someone she can count on, and I’m not sure I can be that guy.”

  Bob gripped Colt’s shoulder. “I’ve known you a long time. In the early years of the business, it looked like you wouldn’t survive.” He chuckled. “I was the sole member of your accounting team back then, remember? There were some months I questioned whether I’d get paid.”

  Colt smiled at the memory. “Yeah, those were some pretty lean times, weren’t they?”

  He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’d say that’s an understatement, son. My point is you made a commitment and you followed through. You made a commitment to Wes, your partnership, your vision, and every person you hired. You vowed you wouldn’t let us down, and you didn’t. So why do you think you’d let Gabby down?”

  Colt hadn’t thought about things in that context before, but he’d had hundreds of people relying on him for years. Bob was right—Colt hadn’t let a single one of them down. “I guess I always thought making a commitment to a woman was harder than making one to a business.”

  Bob grinned. “I think you’ve got it backward. You find the right woman, and she’ll lift you up, help you get through anything.” He sobered, obviously thinking of the trials he and his wife faced now. “Once you’ve found love, commitment is the next logical step. That’s the easy part, if you ask me.”

  “Really? You didn’t have any doubts about proposing?”

  “Not a one.” He smirked. “That’s not entirely true. I doubted she would say yes. But once she did
, I never looked back.”

  “You’re lucky.”

  He tapped his temple. “Not lucky—smart. I knew if I didn’t snap her up, someone else would, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

  Colt glanced over his shoulder and saw one of his regional sales managers chatting up Gabby. It looked innocent enough, but Colt had no doubt he’d try to slip her his number if Colt didn’t intervene soon.

  “Colt, there’s something I never told you because, honestly, it didn’t seem important.”

  “What’s that?” Colt asked, shifting his body so he could keep one eye on Gabby and her companion.

  “I wasn’t close to my folks. I left home when I was seventeen.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup, had a falling out with my father because I didn’t want to join his trucking company.”

  “How’d you make it on your own?”

  “Probably the same way you did.” Bob smiled. “I worked a couple of jobs, went to night school, stayed in crappy boarding houses… you know the deal.”

  Colt would never have imagined Bob and his family weren’t close. Family seemed to be the most important thing in his life.

  “My point is I met my Mary and she became my family. Not long after that, I figured out what real love was… when Allen was born.”

  Colt swallowed the lump in his throat, wishing he was capable of feeling the kind of unconditional love Bob described. “I’m glad everything worked out for you.”

  “It can work out for you too.” Bob set his empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray before slipping his hands into his pockets. “You need to understand that you can’t choose the family you’re born to but you can choose the family you create.”

  Was it possible for Colt to build a family of his own… with Gabby? “When Allen was younger, how’d you handle him?” Bob always seemed so mild-mannered—the quintessential accountant who never let anything faze him. Colt was uncomfortable asking his friend whether he’d lost his temper to the point it scared him, but he had to know. “Did you ever spank him or…” He shrugged. “You know.”

  He seemed thoughtful for a minute. “No, I can’t say that I did. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t tempted. And I seem to recall throwing things at him a time or two.” He laughed. “One time, I think it was the remote control. Good thing he was fast, or it would have bounced right off his head.”

  “You must have been pretty mad to do that.”

  “I was. I found out he’d lied to me about drinking and driving. I was tempted to kick his ass out of the house for that one. But I didn’t. We worked it out.”

  “I guess I’m afraid of losing my temper with my kids the way my old man did with us.”

  Bob nodded. “I’ve seen and heard your temper. I can understand why you’d be concerned.”

  “Thanks a lot,” Colt muttered. The last thing he wanted was validation.

  “But you never resorted to violence against a person, did you?”

  “No, I guess not.”

  “You may have yelled and thrown things, punched a few walls, but when that was over, you jumped in your truck, peeled out of the lot, and came back when you were calmer.”

  “Yeah, but it’s different with kids, right? You can’t yell and scream at them, or you’ll scare the hell out of them.” As a small child, Colt had been a nervous wreck every time his father went on one of his tirades. He’d never want to do that to someone who looked to him to protect them.

  “You can and will yell at them, Colt. That’s part of being a parent and being human. And they’ll probably yell right back at you, especially when they’re teenagers. They’ll throw things, have temper tantrums, slam doors, tell you they hate you.”

  Colt feared that the most, hearing someone he loved more than anything tell him that they hated them. “I don’t know if I could deal with that.”

  “Sure, you can. Because in the end, you work it out. That’s what families do.”

  “Did you work it out with your parents?” Colt asked, recalling his visit with his mother.

  “We visited a few times before they passed away,” Bob said. “They were grateful they got to meet their grandchildren.”

  Colt imagined his mother would be a much better grandmother than a mother. She seemed wiser and more content now. He couldn’t imagine being able to or wanting to make amends with his father though. “You think some relationships are irreparable?”

  “Sure. Some people are poison. It’s better not to even have them in your life.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “By the way,” Bob said, slapping Colt on the back, “if I were you, I’d hightail it over to my girl. I’ve been watching her and Bradley, and it looks like he’s getting ready to make his move.”

  “Over my dead body,” Colt muttered, reaching for another drink.

  ***

  Gabby gasped when Colt slipped his arm around her waist from behind and nuzzled her neck. She couldn’t see him yet, but there was no question who it was, and she hadn’t expected Colt to be so brazen in front of his employees.

  “Oh, uh, hey, boss.” Bradley’s gaze darted nervously between Colt and Gabby. “I didn’t know you two were…” He gestured between them with the hand gripping his drink. “Um, together.”

  “Now you do.” Colt’s lips brushed against Gabby’s temple. “Sorry I kept you waiting so long, baby. Me and Bob got to talking… about marriage and kids.”

  Gabby’s eyes locked with his. She felt he was giving her some message that she desperately wanted to decipher. “That’s okay. Bradley and I had a nice chat.”

  “Thanks for keeping my girl company, man. I guess I owe you one.”

  Bradley cleared his throat, looking around the room as though he was looking for an excuse to escape. “No problem, Colt. No problem at all. Oh look, Jess just got here. I should check in with her, see if that order came in. Gabby, it was nice to meet you.”

  “You too.” Gabby waited until he’d dashed away before she turned toward Colt, trying very hard to look stern. “What was that all about?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I felt like you were marking your territory.”

  “No, this is marking my territory.” He cupped the back of her head and drew her in for a slow, sensuous kiss that had her curling her hands into his shirt. “See the difference?”

  “Yeah.” Her eyes remained closed as she tried to collect herself. She knew there were probably dozens of eyes on them, but she couldn’t summon the energy to care. “Aren’t you worried what your employees will think of your little PDA?”

  “They’ll probably think I’m the luckiest bastard in the room for having such a gorgeous girlfriend.”

  Her eyes flew open at his casual use of the G-word. He hadn’t called her that since high school. “Wait.” She shook her head. “What did you just say?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Colt, I’m not… I can’t… we shouldn’t… should we?” She was so confused, but looking into his eyes gave her the impression he was experiencing complete clarity.

  “We definitely should.” He kissed her again, his arms closing around her this time.

  “But…” She couldn’t think of a single reason she should argue with him when she wanted nothing more than to be a couple again. “You said you wanted to date casually. That’s not the same thing as being my boyfriend.”

  “Let me put it to you this way,” he said, sounding amused. “If we were dating, would you want me to date other women?”

  “Well, no, but—”

  “Sleep with other women?”

  “Hell no!”

  “Right. And I get jealous when I see another guy talking to you, so I don’t think casual dating would work for us, do you?”

  “Probably not, but…” She didn’t want to pressure him. She wanted their relationship to evolve naturally, but she wasn’t sure what to expect and thought she had the right to ask. “S
o we just, uh, date indefinitely then go our separate ways when—”

  “I don’t want to think about letting you go again.” His grip on her waist tightened, his voice raspy as though he was battling his feelings.

  “Then you want—”

  “You, Gabby. I want you.”

  Forever? She knew there was no way to ask that and expect him to answer, so she smiled and said, “Good, because I want you too.”

  Chapter Ten

  “I have a room here tonight,” Colt said.

  “You do?” They were one of the last couples remaining since Colt didn’t think it was polite to leave before his guests. “That’s too bad. I was hoping I could hitch a ride with you. I guess I could ask Bradley to drive me home. He hasn’t left yet.”

  “Ha ha.” He backed her against the bar, his eyes glazed as his lower half pinned her. “Stay with me tonight.”

  It wasn’t as though they hadn’t slept together countless times, but this felt different somehow. After their earlier conversation, she was confident she’d be seeing him tomorrow and the day after that. It wasn’t a future, but at least it was a promise of more than a one-night stand.

  “I’m not sure I should,” she teased, wrapping her arms around his neck. “How do I know you won’t bail on me in the morning?”

  “Gab…” His gray eyes darkened as he stared at her. “I’m so sorry.”

  She hadn’t expected his apology, not tonight. “It’s okay. I was just—”

  “It’s not okay.” He touched her cheek. “What I did to you is definitely not okay.”

  She looked over his shoulder and noted a few people pretending not to watch them as they stood in a circle by the door. “This may not be the best time to have this conversation.”

  He took a deep breath. “I need to say this before I lose my nerve.”

  Colt wasn’t the type to get anxious, so she couldn’t imagine what he might have to say that would cause him so much angst.

  “That night, when we were together again, I realized something.”