Hell Inc.

by C. M. Stunich

  “What does a fool who doesn't see the worth of others see in himself?”

  “You said it,” I whispered back, and the sphinx nodded as if I had said something important. Terrence looked at me strangely and then flicked an angry glance at the man. Another man and a woman dressed similarly in khaki suits stepped forward and grasped the man by the shoulders.

  “I don't care if there is nothing to prove it on the cameras,” he snapped. “I'm going to see you pay for this.” The hatred in his eyes was so intense that it made me take a step backwards. Who was he to hate me so much, having never even met me?

  “That's enough,” Terrence said calmly, and the man pursed his lips and nodded, his head hanging as if he were a child scolded by his father. It was a strange sight considering their ages: Terrence was at least three decades younger than him.

  “Ask the cobra who leaves his hole in the heat of the day, what does life have in store for you?” riddled the sphinx. I ignored it that time and tried to thank Terrence. I was cut off before I could utter a single word.

  “No,” the woman in the khaki suit said rudely. “You can wait for your lawyer to get here. I don't even want to hear you speak.”

  “Cynthia,” Terrence said firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Please, calm down. I'm sure this was all one, big accident.” Cynthia straightened her jacket and gave Terrence a come-and-get-me sort of look then glared at me like I was trying to steal her mate. I just wished she would hiss.

  “You're going to wish you never set foot in here today. Trust me.” The look that I was receiving from the collective group was less than friendly. The only person there who looked like he didn't want to eat me was Terrence. And the sphinx, of course.

  Where was Levie when I needed him? Maybe he could've helped me out. If we'd been together, he could've vouched for me. I sighed.

  “Have I seen you here before?” Terrence asked, head cocked slightly to one side. “You seem kind of familiar.” I choked up, suddenly afraid that he had realized I'd been stalking him. I mumbled under my breath and tried to come up with something to say. Thankfully, I was saved the embarrassment as the security guard that went to check the cameras came back, face red and puffy from running. Terrence looked at him hopefully, as if he held all of the solutions that he needed. The man shook his head.

  “There was a lag in the tape. One minute the pot was up, and the next, it was already broken.” I felt my breath catch in my throat. Now what? Terrence rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Cynthia gave me a glare worthy of a crocodile, and I just stood there, feeling underdressed in the room full of suits.

  “How does one who does not understand his fellows begin to recognize the world for what it is?” the sphinx asked. I buried my face in my hands.

  “I don't know,” I sighed, not caring that they had no idea who I was talking to. “I just wish that these people could understand what I have to go through everyday.” Bang. That was it. The air shifted around me and I knew I'd done it again.

  People in the museum began to scream. I looked up and saw them pointing at the sphinx.

  “What the hell is that?” one woman screeched, grabbing her toddler and yanking him against her chest. Cynthia grabbed onto Terrence's arm for dear life, and the pair of them exchanged a horrified glance. The sphinx and I did the same. Uh-oh. I looked up at the group.

  “You can see it now, too?” I asked. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Terrence stared at me and the sphinx with the intense fascination that only a scholar can give. I liked him even more for that. Too bad I was never going to see him again. Or the museum. I would miss it. “Sorry,” I said, suddenly noticing Levie staring at me with an angry expression from the doorway of the exhibit. “But I've got to go.”

  I took off running, darting around the shocked security guards and heading for the exit. No one even tried to stop me, so intent were they on the sphinx. I gave Levie a look that I hoped he would catch and bolted past him, brushing against one half-outstretched, leathery wing on my way outside. I didn't stop until I was a couple of blocks away. I would have kept going but let's face it, I was a bit out of shape. Only adrenaline had allowed me to get so far.

  “Fucking Little Debbie,” I growled, blaming the Queen of Snacks for my laziness. I checked my watch. It was a quarter past two, almost time for lunch with my apparently reformed mother. I leaned down and rested my hands on my knees. I didn't even want to go anymore. I felt physically ill. Two wishes gone. Two. I had quit my job not to mention sold my soul, and now I had only one freaking wish. “What the hell did I just do?” I asked myself aloud. I stood up and waited until my head stopped spinning before I began walking in the direction of the restaurant. I needed alcohol, and I needed it now.

  As I walked, I tried to clear my mind and figure out exactly what had been going on in there. I didn't have long to myself because before I knew it, Levie was beside me.

  “Great,” I said. “Just great. You want to kill me now or after you go to the rack or the pits or whatever?” I shook my head and walked faster. This time Levie kept pace with me.

  “That will not happen,” he said confidently as we both stepped over the tail of a naga who happened to be asking directions from a vampire. Bizarre as that was, I didn't have the emotional capacity to appreciate it.

  “Why not?” I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, and Levie caught my elbow, hauling me up and pulling me along without breaking stride.

  “Because you broke no rules,” he said. I tried to stop walking and stare at him, but he dragged me along.

  “No?” I asked suspiciously.

  “That was a perfectly legitimate wish. Although I would have preferred it if you had consulted me first about your phrasing. I see no harm done.” All of a sudden he was Mr. Nice, Reassuring Demon Guy? Bullshit. I didn't believe it for a second.

  “You were glaring at me,” I said, yanking my arm from his grip. “From the doorway to the exhibit. I saw you.” Levie's expression changed to something I couldn't quite read and then reverted back to its default arrogance.

  “That's none of your concern; just rest assured that all is well.” I snorted but kept walking. “I can no longer leave you alone for long, though. I admit, I am afraid you will condemn us both with your idiocy.” Suddenly, or so it seemed, the restaurant was right in front of us. I stopped outside the door and turned to Levie.

  “What kind of idiot makes the same mistake twice?” I sounded whiny. Yuck. But I felt like I was on the verge of having a full blown panic attack. Levie's face softened a bit, and he placed a hand on my shoulder.

  “You are merely impulsive and have trouble controlling the words that continuously stream from your mouth.” I gawked at him and flung his hand off.

  “Was that supposed to make me feel better?” I practically shrieked. Levie frowned and I waved him away. “You know what, forget it. Just forget it. But I'm canceling AT&T and getting that damn cell phone coverage.” I yanked open the door to the little cafe and waited for the hostess to seat us at one of the round tables. Levie came in and stood silently beside me while I focused my gaze on the orange terra-cotta tiles on the floor.

  “What are you going to do, sit with me and my reformed, ex-drug addict mother?” I snapped at him. Levie, apparently nonplussed, looked around and selected a table, seating himself comfortably in one of the wooden chairs. “It says 'Please wait to be seated,'” I griped at him, just to make myself feel better.

  “I will eat my own meal here and leave with you when you are finished,” he said, unwrapping a cloth napkin from around some silverware and tucking it in his lap. I stood there for a second and then walked over to another table and sat down with my back to him. You're being an asshole again, I told myself and tried to get my breathing under control. I counted to ten then got up and walked back over to Levie's table and sat down again. He smiled at me (possibly for the first time ever) as the waitress approached us with a pair of menus.

  Before she even had a chance to speak, I blurted out,
“I know it's early, but can I get a Slippery Nipple, please?” The woman didn't even look at me; she was staring at Levie and blushing. He was staring at me and blushing. I was kind of confused. “Um,” I interjected, trying not to drum my nails on the tabletop. “Can I get that soon?” I wasn't trying to be rude, but I really, really needed that drink. The waitress blinked her eyes several times like she was coming out of a coma and nodded. He isn't that hot, I wanted to shout at her. Levie then ordered a glass of water, a glass of clean water with three ice cubes. I wanted to shake him.

  “Humans offer those kinds of services in dining establishments?” he asked me after she'd left. I stared at him.

  “What are you talking about?” I wasn't in the mood to answer dumb questions. I had several of my own built up and ready to go. He blushed again, bright and red on those high, haughty, sculpted, delicious cheek bones. I am losing it. Definitely losing it. I looked around for the waitress and my drink. There's nothing like a good shooter at two o'clock on a Wednesday. Levie licked his lips as he thought about how to phrase whatever it was that he was going to say. It was kind of sexy in a gross way.

  “Sexual services.” I stared at him, reliving the pumpkin eater moment all over again. Literal had taken on a whole new meaning for me. I guess if you'd never heard of a Slippery Nipple ...

  “They don't have cocktails where you come from?” I asked, trying to keep my voice down as the waitress returned with our drinks. I downed mine before she left the table and ordered another. “It really must be Hell.” I didn't think Levie was getting it since he was still staring at me with a perplexed expression. The little lecture I had planned on alcoholic beverages was ruined though with the appearance of the sphinx.

  “What walks on four legs, then two, then three?” it asked, settling itself comfortably on the floor and looking at us both with curious eyes.

  “Man,” I answered confidently, receiving a strange look from both Levie and the sphinx. “What?” I asked. “I read Oedipus in high school.” I stared at it, staring at me. “What are you doing here anyway?”

  “What is the purpose of a box with no sides?” it asked back. I had no response, so I decided to leave it alone. It would stay if it chose and leave if it chose; there really was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't overly worried though. I'd had things follow me around before when they realized I could see them, but it never lasted long. Once the novelty of teasing someone who reacted wore off, they always left. I felt kind of guilty anyway. Technically, if I hadn't been paying so much attention to it, the sphinx could never have had the presence to knock over that pot.

  I buried my face in my hands and wished the waitress would come back with my second drink.

  “What am I going to do, Levie?” I asked him, peeking out between my fingers. He didn't much look like he cared. But I did. I was on their security cameras. Eventually, they would find me and it would be for much more than just breaking a priceless artifact.

  I tried to sort out the phrasing of my wish in my head and determine what the exact specifications of the spell were. What could they see exactly? Just the sphinx? Or everything? It would be amusing to find out, but there was no way I was going back there. “I liked that museum,” I stated to no one in particular. “And Terrence was hot. Just my type, too.” Levie slammed his glass down on the table so hard that the glass cracked. “What is your problem?” I asked him. He grunted and glanced away. I checked my watch; I didn't have time to examine demon mood swings. It was three o'clock on the dot. Time to move to another table. I assumed my mother would be late, but I wasn't sure how late. I didn't want to even risk her seeing me with Levie. “Catch you later, guys,” I said, trying to sound more cheerful than I felt and walked to the table farthest away from them.

  Not a minute later, a woman sat down in the chair opposite me. She was holding out her hand, long plastic nails painted bubble gum pink and embedded with little silver rhinestones glinted back at me.

  “Aren't they precious?” She smiled at me, and I was shocked by her straight, white teeth and head of thick, curly blonde hair.

  “A-Andrea?” Was this woman really my mother? Impossible.

  “Call me Mama!” she shouted and leaned across the table to hug me tightly. She was wearing a tasteful, red silk blouse and a white hat with flowers on it. There was no way this was my mother. “Don't I look great!” She put her hands to cheeks that were way too smooth to belong to the twenty-years-and-running drug addict woman that I knew. “I'm clean and sober now.” She took her big, shiny red leather purse off of her shoulder and hung it over the back of her chair. I was in shock; I didn't really know what to say except kudos to this whole wishing thing. So far, so good.

  “You look great,” I breathed, shaking my head in disbelief. “Really, I'm amazed.” Andrea (I wasn't really used to calling her mother) giggled in a very girlish sounding way.

  “And darling, I'm paying for our lunches so don't even bother trying to argue with me.” I gave a silent prayer of relief. I had been worried this lunch was going to take the last forty bucks I had until my final payday rolled around.

  The waitress came back with my drink and a look that told me what she thought of my drinking habits. I flipped her off surreptitiously under the table. Andrea appeared not to notice and ordered an iced tea with lemon as we opened our menus together. “Isn't this nice?” she asked, sighing and looking around the restaurant. My back was to Levie, but I knew the moment she laid on eyes on him. “How does such a handsome young man not have a lunch date?” she asked. Because he's a sour crab, I thought. “Ginger, darling, look behind you.” I didn't need to, I knew, but I did it anyway.

  Levie was staring at me, his face an expressionless mask. He had a sandwich dripping with barbeque sauce sitting on a plate in front of him. He hadn't eaten any, though. I couldn't imagine it either. Sauce all over that pretty little mouth and staining those graceful, pianist fingers. I wanted to see, but I turned back around nonchalantly.

  “Um, yeah, cute,” I said, downing my cocktail. When the waitress came back (with another drink I didn't order but that actually made me feel bad for flipping her off), my mother and I both ordered Caesar salads with grilled chicken. My stomach growled as I realized I hadn't eaten yet. I watched Andrea closely as she folded her hands in her lap and beamed at me. This was all still too good to be true, but hopefully I could get something to eat before it all went to hell.

  “I've really missed out, all these years. I missed you growing up, Ginger. Can you ever forgive me?” This was getting to be a little too much like a Lifetime movie for my liking, and I shifted uncomfortably. Andrea reached out and brushed my face with her fingers. “You're so beautiful, Ginger,” she sighed, a little strangely. I couldn't say quite what was starting to bother me, but there was something about her expression that struck me as odd. I brushed it off as paranoia. All of the times I'd seen her before, she'd only been nice when she was hitting me up for drug money. She always went back to being mean after I said no. I always said no. This time was different but still not right. I still didn't feel like a daughter out to lunch with her mother. I sighed as my initial awe began to wear off and tapped my fingers on the table, listening to her talk. I didn't even want to know what my dad would say if he ever heard about this. Luckily, I never planned on telling him. He wouldn't believe me anyway.

  When the food arrived, I concentrated on eating and let her continue to babble nonsensically at me, hoping she'd get around to telling me the secret she'd mentioned on the phone. When a shadow passed over our table, I glanced up and froze in surprise. I definitely hadn't expected him to show up, not in a million years.

  It was Queen Bee.

  I stood up suddenly, spilling my mother's tea. “Oh dear!” Andrea exclaimed. Terrence rushed forward and began mopping up the drink with a cloth napkin he'd snatched from an empty table.

  “I apologize, ma'am.” He smiled at my mother who blushed and waved her hand at him as if he were forgiven. He turned back to me, eyes
intent and full of questions. “I didn't mean to startle you and your lovely daughter.” I sat, my mouth gaping like a fish, unsure of whether to speak or to run.

  I looked around frantically for the rest of the angry museum staff, but they were nowhere to be found. Lucky for me, since I doubted I could stand to see the old man or that Cynthia woman again. “Don't worry, I came alone,” Terrence whispered as he gestured at an empty chair next to me. “May I? Just for a moment?” he asked. Andrea giggled like a school girl.

  “Of course, darling.” She batted her eyelashes at him. This was so not my mother. There was no way in hell. Hell. Well, maybe there was.

  “The sphinx,” he whispered, leaning towards me, aquamarine eyes glinting with amusement and blonde hair reflecting the dim lights of the restaurant. Andrea leaned forward, straining to hear, but he kept his voice pitched just loud enough for me. “He's behind you.” I sighed. Goody goody gumdrops. At least he hadn't mentioned Levie.

  “I know. It's following me.” Andrea was fanning herself with her napkin, impatient and annoyed that she wasn't privy to the conversation. Terrence leaned back, a thoughtful look on his pale face. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was even cuter up close than he'd been from far away. My body was responding with little surges of adrenaline.

  “I told the others to take the day off and meet back at the museum in the morning. I want you to be there. I need you to answer some questions for us.” I rubbed my forehead and tried not to sigh.

  “I'm sorry, but I can't.” I didn't really have a good excuse other than just not wanting to be arrested, so I refused to elaborate my answer. Terrence didn't look put off.

  “Would you prefer to meet somewhere else? Another restaurant? Here?” Damn, he was persistent. But also gorgeous. I pushed that thought away roughly and tried to focus on the task at hand. I had some bargaining room now. At least I thought I did.

  “Will you forgive me for breaking the pot?” I asked, pursing my lips and crossing my arms. Terrence smiled.