by Carol Lynne
Sam turned to Liam. He really was a good friend. Probably the best he’d ever had. “Thanks, but I’m gonna turn in early.”
Liam placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Come find me if you need to talk. You know my door’s always open.”
“Yeah, I know.” Liam straightened and started to leave. “Hey, Liam?” His friend looked over his shoulder. “Thanks,” Sam said. Liam gave him a nod and walked out.
Monday afternoon, Sam was busy going through a box of files when a knock sounded at the door. Thinking it was Tony, who said he’d be down to check on Sam’s progress, he opened it right away.
As soon as Sam saw Jace’s scowl, he tried to shut the door. “Go away.”
Jace pushed the door open enough for him to come in, before shutting it again. “We need to talk.”
“I told you before. I have nothing to say to you.” Sam went back to his desk and turned his back on his visitor.
“Is that why you skipped out of Miami on me? Hell, I didn’t even know you’d left until I waited in the lobby to leave for the airport. I had to call Tony to find out you’d taken off on Saturday.”
Sam didn’t say a word. He didn’t owe Jace any explanations.
A sun bronzed hand appeared over his shoulder, setting something down in front of him. Even though the object was wrapped in a handkerchief, Sam knew it was his plug. He closed his eyes at the humiliation. Of all the things he could’ve left, why did it have to be something so personal? He imagined Jace had a pretty good laugh over it after he left.
Again, Sam said nothing.
“What? You’re not talking to me?” Jace paced the small area behind Sam’s chair.
“Isn’t that what you want? Don’t worry, I won’t go chasing after you again. I learned my lesson.”
Jace sighed heavily. “I forgot protection. I need to know if you’re clean.”
Sam rolled his eyes. Perfect. All this and no apology, only a demand that he give up his medical records. “Yeah. Are you?”
“Yes, but maybe you should’ve taken the time to find out before we fucked. This is exactly the reason I refuse to date a kid.”
Sam felt his face go red, not from embarrassment but anger. He stood and spun around, getting right in Jace’s face. “Me? I had fuckin’ condoms in my pocket. You’re the one that was so hot to get his dick in me he didn’t think. So tell me, Mr. Macho Corporate Executive, who’s the irresponsible one? Get the fuck out of my office. No, better yet, I’ll leave.” Sam grabbed his jacket and lunch sack and pushed passed Jace. He didn’t stop walking until he reached the bus stop.
“Fuck that,” he shouted.
Tony met him in the hall when he returned from lunch. “My office, now,” Tony said and turned away.
Jace rubbed the back of his neck and followed his boss. He knew this was coming. He should’ve known better than to confront Sam at work. He’d just been so pissed when he found out Sam had skipped out on him.
When he walked into Tony’s office, his friend was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed. “Shut the door,” he instructed.
After doing what he’d been told, Jace stood in front of Tony.
“What the hell happened in Miami?”
“We got the job done you sent us for,” Jace said, crossing his own arms.
“That’s not all you did apparently, or Sam wouldn’t have quit.”
Jace was shocked. He knew how much Sam needed the job from talking to Charlie. “He quit?”
“Spill it,” Tony demanded.
Accepting defeat, Jace sat in one of the chairs. “I slept with him. Well, that’s not really true. I fucked him.”
“And?”
“And that was it.” Tony was a friend and his boss, but he didn’t plan on telling him what an ass he’d made out of himself. He certainly didn’t plan on telling him that he’d been so out of his mind with lust he’d forgotten to use protection.
Tony studied him for a few moments. “You and I both know there’s more to it, but I won’t push. I suggest you work it out with Sam. Whatever it is, you ran him away and now you can bring him back.”
“I can’t,” Jace growled. “He’s too much temptation for me, and right now I need to have my head on straight. I’ve got too much on my plate as it is. I don’t have time to be thinking of a twenty-one year old with the prettiest grey eyes I’ve ever seen.”
Tony walked over and put his hand on Jace’s shoulder. “You can’t let what’s happening with Kade ruin your life.”
Jace let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Tell that to him. He’s moving in on Wednesday.”
“Oh, Jace,” Tony sighed and shook his head. “Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?”
No. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore except he loved Kade and would do anything for him. “He needs me.”
“And when do you take care of your needs? Sam may be young, but he’s a good man. If you like him, don’t fuck it up with some moral sense of obligation to Kade.”
“What’re you doing here?” Bear asked Jace as he walked into the kitchen.
“I’m looking for Sam,” he said.
Jace was a fairly big guy, but when Bear walked over and towered above him, Jace had to rethink his position.
Bear leaned down, face inches from Jace’s. “Gimmee one reason I shouldn’t kick your butt right out that front door.”
“I’m here to apologise,” Jace answered, hoping it was enough to pacify the giant.
It must have been because Bear took a step back. “He’s in the computer room.” Bear narrowed his eyes. “Upset him more than he is and prepare to die.”
Normally Jace would take the words as a bluff, but looking at the angry face in front of him, he wasn’t so sure. Instead of giving Bear an answer he gave a nod and left.
How had he let things get to this point? What the hell was wrong with him lately? Yeah, he had a mess of personal stuff going on, but he’d never in his life been intentionally cruel to a person. Especially not someone he thought about night and day. Maybe it was self-defence?
If he didn’t admit to his feelings and definite attraction to Sam, he wouldn’t feel as lousy when Sam found someone else…and he would. Jace had no doubts about that. Sam was young and still testing his wings. He was surrounded on a daily basis by gorgeous gay men, who could ever expect Sam to be faithful?
Arriving at the computer room, Jace looked through the window. Sam and Liam were working side by side. Jace hesitated. Would Liam get in his face like his mountainous lover?
Deciding it didn’t matter, Jace opened the door and stuck his head in. “Sam? Can I have a word with you?”
Both men stopped typing and turned to face him. Liam looked at Jace with disgust in his eyes. Yeah, Jace thought, I know the feeling.
Liam turned to Sam. “You want me to leave?”
Sam looked at Jace before turning back to his computer. “It’s okay. He can’t hurt me anymore.”
Liam rose and walked towards the door. Before going out he looked up at Jace. “Fix this,” he whispered.
Jace nodded.
After Liam left, Jace took his seat. “I came to apologise.”
“Okay, so say you’re sorry and get out.” Sam continued to type, barely acknowledging Jace’s presence.
“Can you at least look at me?” Jace wanted nothing more than to pull Sam into his arms and kiss those shadows from beneath his eyes.
Sam’s fingers hesitated over the keyboard for several seconds. “Why?” Sam bowed his head. “I thought I’d been hurt in the past, but what you’ve done to me is beyond hurt. I don’t know that I can look at you and not break down. I know that makes me less in your eyes, but it’s the truth.”
Jace couldn’t take it any more. He reached out and placed a hand on Sam’s down turned head. “I brought you something.” He dug the sheet of paper out of his coat pocket and set it on the keyboard.
With shaking hands, Sam unfolded the results of Jace’s blood tests. Sam looked at the paper then ha
nded it back to him. “I’ve got one just like it upstairs.”
“I just wanted you to know that I was clean.” Jace took the paper and stuffed it back in his pocket. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” He leaned over and kissed Sam’s temple. “I acted like an ass. I know that. I knew it when I was doing it, but I was trying to push you away.”
“Well it worked,” Sam mumbled.
“I don’t have time for a boyfriend, and you don’t deserve anything less than someone’s full attention.”
Sam finally looked at him. “Was that so hard to say? I can tell you it would’ve hurt a hell of a lot less than the way you chose to push me away.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, cupping Sam’s jaw. “If things were different I’d take you to my bed and never let you leave.”
Sam leaned into Jace’s touch for a moment before pulling away. “Okay. You’ve said what you need to, you can leave.”
Jace felt like he’d been dismissed. “Come back to work,” he said.
Sam’s spine stiffened. “Is that what all this was about? What, Tony tell you to do whatever it took to get me back?”
“No, well, yes, but that’s not why I said the things I did.”
Sam licked his lips and chuckled. “Tell Tony I’ll be there.” He turned back to his computer and started typing again. “You can go, your job is done.”
Jace’s hands hovered in mid-air. Just reach out to him, he told himself. A vision of Kade sprang to mind and Jace pulled back. “I’ll see you around, Sam.”
“Not if I see you first,” Sam commented.
Chapter Five
“Come on, we’re getting you out of this funk one way or another,” Liam said, poking Sam in the side. “I know you got paid, so you can’t use the old excuse of you can’t afford it.”
Sam swatted Liam’s hand away. “Promise me if I do this, we won’t stay long.”
“Okay, but Nate wants a beer. Since he’s been off the football team, he thinks he needs at least one drink every Friday.” Liam grinned. “I indulge him because he’s even friskier when he has alcohol in his system.”
Laughing, Sam sat up. “Am I okay like this, or do I need to change?”
Liam took in his ripped jeans and tight red T-shirt. “You look good to me, but don’t you dare tell Nate I said that.”
Sam held up his hands in surrender. “Do I look like a man with a suicide wish? No way am I gonna tell Bear his boyfriend was checking out my goods.”
Liam punched him in the arm. “I was not checking out your goods, just your clothes, and the way they’re moulded to every inch of your body,” Liam said with a wink.
Wrapping his arm around his friend’s neck, Sam led them to the kitchen to find Bear.
“You ready?” Liam asked.
Bear growled and removed Sam’s arm before replacing it with his own. “I am now.”
Taking the bus, they arrived at McGilley’s Pub just in time for the end of happy hour. “Quick, let’s order a bunch of appetizers. They’re half-price for the next ten minutes,” Bear said.
“Spoken like a true college student,” Sam chuckled.
They got the waitress’s attention and placed their order with five minutes to spare. Liam was busy teasing Bear about the amount of food he could consume and Sam started looking around.
He froze when his gaze landed on Jace. “That sonofabitch,” he ground out. Jace was sitting at a small table with another man. Not just any man, but one of the baddest looking biker-types he’d ever seen.
As he watched them, Jace started laughing. His whole face changed when he laughed. Gorgeous all the time, the happy expression made Jace devastating.
Sam felt his hands shake. He didn’t know if it was anger or hurt. Without thinking he stood.
“Sam? What’s wrong?” Bear asked.
“I gotta take care of something,” he said, before heading over to the laughing couple.
He walked up and put his hands on his hips. “Is he why you didn’t have time for me? You know, if you wanted to fuck the field, you could’ve just told me. You’re pathetic,” he added before turning around and walking back to his table.
Liam and Bear were looking right at him as he approached. “Sorry, guys, I don’t feel much like dinner. I’ll catch you back at the house.”
Sam left, but instead of heading back to the dorm, he went to the park. He needed to clear his head in private.
Watching Sam walk away broke Jace’s heart.
“Who was that?” Kade asked.
“Sam,” Jace replied.
“You two have somethin’ going?”
Jace looked at his friend and former roommate. “No. Not really.”
“But you’d like to,” Kade surmised.
Shrugging, Jace looked down at his half-eaten dinner. Did he? Yeah. Unfortunately life was complicated.
“It would never work,” he finally said.
“In other words, you don’t feel like putting the effort into a relationship with him.”
“No, that’s not what I mean,” Jace defended himself. “Sam’s sensitive, hot, young, damn is he young.”
Kade covered Jace’s hand. “You’re scared he’ll do what I did. Have you been carrying this around for twelve years?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” Jace turned his hand over and threaded his fingers through Kade’s.
“Not everyone’s a cheater. I was young and stupid. It was the first time away from home and I thought I had to sample everything out there.” Kade leaned forward across the table. “Now look at me. I’m paying for my sins. You don’t need to do that for me.”
Jace thought about what his friend had said. He could see Kade’s point. Jace had been paying for Kade’s infidelity. He hadn’t allowed himself to get close with a lover since. One night stands were fine when all you needed was release, but they did little for the soul.
“Doesn’t matter now. I’ve already lost any chance I once had with Sam.”
Kade released his hand and sat back, his muscles testing the seams of his leather jacket. “I don’t know what went on between the two of you, but if you give up on someone you really want, you’re a fool.”
“That’s me, Jace-The-Fool-Rawlings.” He wiped his mouth and threw his napkin over the remains of his dinner. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Sure,” Kade said.
Once in the car, Kade turned to him. “Where does Sam live?”
“Why?”
“Just wondered,” Kade replied looking out the side window.
“BK House, remember I drove you by it Wednesday when you got in.”
“Oh, yeah, the dorm.”
“Yeah.” Jace tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.
Kade reached out and put a hand on his arm. “Why don’t you drop by the house and talk to him?”
He wanted to, god how he wanted to. “What could I say that would make a difference?”
“The truth.”
Jace shook his head. “I’d never do that to you.”
“Hell, Jace, I’d be homeless if it weren’t for you. I’m not about to come between you and this guy. Tell him. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”
“You sure you don’t mind?”
“Nope. Go on by. I’ll wait in the car.”
“That’s bullshit. You can at least come in and meet Charlie.”
Kade nodded. “I’ve heard a lot about that guy over the last several weeks. I’d like to meet him.”
With that settled, Jace turned the car around and drove towards BK. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to say, but if Sam would listen, he’d get down on his knees to beg for forgiveness.
Crossing the parking lot, Sam spotted Jace’s car. “Shit.” He looked at his watch. It was almost ten. He knew if Jace hadn’t left by now, he wouldn’t go until Sam got home.
Steeling himself for a battle, he opened the front door. The sight that met him stopped him in his tracks. Charlie, that biker dude and Lark, were sitting in the living room la
ughing up a storm.
Sam didn’t know Lark knew how to laugh. “What’s going on?”
Kade stood, and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Hi, um…I’m Kade.”
Sam nodded, but said nothing.
“Jace is up in your room. I hope you don’t mind, but it’s kinda important that he talks to you.”
“I’ve got nothing to say to Jace.” Sam walked into the kitchen with Kade close on his heels.
“Hold up,” Kade said. “Just give me a second.”
Sam looked at the man in front of him. Six-four at least with shoulder length black hair, goatee, and tattoos, a whole boat load of tattoos. “Look, I didn’t mean to step on your toes. You want Jace, you got him.”
Kade grinned. “You’re a feisty little thing. And whether I want Jace or not isn’t the issue.” Kade pushed his hair out of his face to reveal sparkling blue eyes. “I’m not gonna stand here and tell you I don’t have feelings for him, but what we had was over a long time ago. He loved me, and I fucked it up by not being able to keep my dick in my pants. It didn’t matter that I had someone as wonderful as that man upstairs. I wanted more, always more.”
Sam walked to the fridge and got out two bottles of Charlie’s beer and handed one to Kade. “So why are you here?”
“Wow, you cut right to the chase, don’t you?” Kade joked. “I got sick a couple of months ago and lost my job and apartment. I’d already lost my family several years ago when I told them I was HIV positive. Jace was the only one I could think of who’d be willing to help me out until I could get back on my feet.”
HIV positive? The man in front of him looked healthy as a horse. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Jace’s been helping me through it. I get depressed sometimes and call him in the middle of the night. I can’t tell you how many times he’s stayed up just talking to me.”
Kade put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “He’s a good guy and he really likes you, but I think I burned him pretty badly. Trust doesn’t come easy with him, and when he looks at you, he sees a young, sexy college guy.”