Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series)

by Goodman, Sarah

  “I will never know, Natalie says that Rebecca didn’t know who the father was, she cheated on me with her client. She didn’t want to have the baby and then find out if it wasn’t mine. Natalie said that Rebecca didn’t want to even bring a baby into our marriage, whether it was mine or not, because I was never home. That she didn’t sign up to be a single mother.”

  “Jacob I am so sorry, so sorry that you never got your answers or a goodbye.”

  “I’m more pissed, than hurt. I was so pissed when she died. That she went and had an abortion. Knowing that I was bringing babies into the world every day and she went and took mine away. It was mine no matter what, because it was a part of her and I loved her.” He pounds the counter as he walks to the table to get the last of the glassware. “I’m so mad, that she was so selfish. That she thought the worst of me. She cheated on me, and never gave me a reason why. I loved her with everything I had, I would have fixed it. I would have fixed us.” He says as he trails off his words. I can see the pain he still carries with him after all these years. He has unanswered questions. I just never got a goodbye. I can’t imagine grieving for the answers.

  He turns around and I place my hands on his hips, his hands are in my hair. “Don’t you see Elizabeth? We both have had the same thing happen to us. Now fate, the universe, God, life, whatever you call it has brought us together. You aren’t being dishonest to Grant by being with me. You are being dishonest to yourself. We are meant to be together. I like you, Elizabeth, and I want this new chapter of our life to have a happily ever after. Please … please tell me you will give us a chance?”

  I rested my forehead against his chest and closed my eyes as I pleaded with my heart rate to slow down. I inhale and deep breath, pull myself back, look into his stunning eyes and say. “All, I can do is try, Jacob. I can’t promise you anything, and we have to go slow. “

  He places his hands around the nape of my neck and pulls me up to his mouth. “Can, I please kiss you, Elizabeth?” I stand on my tip toes to give him assurance that it is OK to kiss me. His lips are so soft. We kiss each other gently trying to explore each other’s lips. Then I part my lips and I feel his tongue in my mouth. I taste his beer on him. Our kiss becomes more intense and stronger. He pulls away, and trails soft kisses along my jaw and down my neck. He stands up tall and looks down at me. Brushing the hair strands behind my ear, his thumb gently glides along my jaw. “God, woman, you make me feel things I never thought possible. You are so beautiful!”

  “Thank you. I need to get going, do you want to walk me out and see my new mom mobile?”

  “Would love to!”

  He grabs my jacket and helps me put it on. He walks over and grabs my flowers for me and walks me out.

  “Nice truck! What made you pick black?”

  “I don’t know, I recently met a great guy with a very sexy truck and thought that I could have a very sexy truck too, even though I will have car seats in it. Oh, and guess what, I have a luggage rack on top, so I can carry surfboards, too!” I said as I smile up at him. God, he is really is good looking and tall!

  He gives me a kiss on the lips once I am buckled and ready to go. “Call me once you get home.”

  “I will.” As I lean in for another kiss. “Thank you for today, I don’t think I sulked once. Goodnight!”

  “Goodnight, baby!” Baby, oh my!!

  Being twenty eight weeks pregnant and carrying triplets is the equivalent to an elephant’s pregnancy. I’m huge, strangers walk around me thinking a baby will drop out any minute. I get winded walking to the mailbox. I haven’t seen my feet in weeks, maybe months. I thank God that I live in an environment where flip-flops are my norm. My skin itches everywhere, I feel like my ear lobes are stretching, and I practically live on a toilet since all I do is pee constantly. Pregnancy is some huge conspiracy against other women. You develop signs and symptoms that no one tells you about, not even your own mother.

  With all this said and done, I feel great, I am blessed. Jacob assures me nightly that everything is going to plan, and the babies are doing great, including myself. My goal is thirty-four weeks. Anything after that is pure gold! I still go to his office weekly, but since Valentine’s Day, I practically see him every day when he is not on call at the hospital. I look forward to our nightly talks where listening to his deep raspy voice puts me in a deep sleep until my son’s use my bladder as a soccer ball.

  Jacob has been extremely gentle in taking us slow. Over the last couple months, we talk constantly which reassures me that the feelings I am starting to have for him are normal and perfectly alright. No one can tell me what is right or wrong. I know I am in a state where I have to feel my way through all of this. Right now, I feel good. Real good, feelings of enjoyment and adoration for him and for us as a couple. Don’t get me wrong, I think of Grant every single day. I ask him every night before bed for his approval. I guess in a way I am just trying to comfort myself that dating this soon after his death is alright. Only time can tell me what is right for me. Right now, time is telling me to just go with it. I find Jacob incredibly handsome, fun, sweet, and caring. I’m happy right now and that to me is all that matters.

  It’s Wednesday, Jacob has the day off, and so he says he has a surprise for me. I struggle to get ready, but lately my attire is maternity sundresses and flip-flops. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, lip gloss and mascara is all I do to get ready. Twenty minutes later and Jacob is at the door. He has a small box in his hand. I smile up at him as he bends down to give me a kiss. He’s dressed for swimming. He has on black and white checkerboard swim shorts, black fitted t-shirt, and black flip-flops. He looks incredibly hot!

  “Good morning, baby, this is for you.”

  “What did you get me?”

  Walking to the dining room, I pull out a chair and sit. I open up the box. Once I pull out the tissue paper I see that he has bought me my very own iPod. “You got me an iPod, Jacob. This is so sweet of you. But, you know you are going to have to show me how to download songs on to this thing.”

  “No worry, already done for you. I’ve downloaded a few of my favorite songs, songs about how I feel about you and us, and some songs that I know you might like.”

  “Are you for real? This is wonderful thank you so much, babe!”

  Shit, did I just call him babe?

  “Bring it with you. You can listen to it where we are going.”

  He helps me up from the chair. He runs into the kitchen to get my purse and phone. “Here you go” he says as I place the iPod in my purse. He puts his hand at the small of my back as we walk out to his truck. “Umm, Jacob I don’t think I can climb in that.”

  “Sure you can, I’ll help you up.” He opens the door, I place my hand on the inside door handle and my other on the chair, I step up on the step bar, and as I hike my other leg up with Jacob holding my hips to help me up. In that brief moment a gust of wind comes blowing my way, and blows my dress up. Oh fuck!

  I sit in the chair and turn around with my cheeks burning from blushing and I look to Jacob to see him smiling. “Wow, Elizabeth that was a nice surprise. Where are your panties?”

  “I can’t wear them anymore. They don’t make them to fit in the butt or the stomach. One side is always tight and the other is too loose. Plus, it saves me from bending over about a million times a day to pee.”

  “Gotcha!”

  “I’m so sorry, Jacob. I didn’t mean to moon you there.”

  “Elizabeth, not to embarrass you more, but I have seen that part of your body before. It was just a nice surprise, I liked it. You drive me crazy! I’ve want to touch you so badly in an intimate way, not like I have to touch you in the office. I’m waiting till after the babies are born, so you will see me more as Jacob and not Dr. Alexander.”

  “I see you as Jacob more than I see you as my doctor. I think it is easy to say that we have developed past the doctor and patient to boyfriend and girlfriend. You just happen to be my boyfriend who will deliver my babies.”

>   He walks around to his side of the truck, climbs in, and fires it up. Its hemi engine really gets your adrenaline going. I feel like I should be at a Monster Jam rally in this thing. “So, I see you in a bathing suit and your surfboard is in the truck bed. I’m assuming we are heading to the beach?”

  He grabs my hand and entwines our fingers. “We are going to the beach. I want to go surfing. I thought I would bring you with me. Then we can get lunch somewhere along the beach, if you want?”

  “Ummm … Jacob have you noticed, I am not cut out for the ocean. I will scare the sharks away.”

  He just gives me this panty dropping smile. “Will you knock it off with the negative remarks? You are stunning. You are a walking miracle with three babies in you. Yes you are bigger than most twenty eight week woman, but you have triple the work going on with you. No more with your negative remarks, I think you are beautiful and amazing.”

  “Fine, no more remarks, but I can’t go swimming. My doctor told me I can’t.” I smile back at him.

  He rubs his thumbs along my knuckle. He pulls my hand up to kiss it. “I’m proud of you that you listen to your doctor. No, you shouldn’t go swimming. I brought a chair and umbrella for you, plus your iPod. It can be very relaxing. I won’t surf long. I wouldn’t want you in this heat too long anyways. I don’t think your doctor would approve, we don’t want you dehydrated.”

  We talk for our forty minute drive to the beach. I ask him a lot of questions about the pregnancy. “Jacob, I’m really nervous about having a C-section. How bad does it hurt and how long am I going to be out of commission? I need to be there for my babies.”

  “Elizabeth, I’m not going to lie, it will hurt after the surgery. The sooner you are able to get up and move around the better it will feel. I will give you pain meds that won’t bother your breast milk. You won’t be alone, you’ll have help. I will be there through it all.”

  “How many multiple births have you done? Will you be able to talk to me through it all? Will I see the babies before they are taken from me? What happens if they come before thirty two weeks? What if …”

  I’m cut off by him putting his fingers over my lips. I look into those blue eyes of his and look for the answer in his eyes. I see peace in his eyes, his eyes are telling me that I shouldn’t worry, and he will protect us.

  “Baby, you need to calm down. I have done many, many multiple births, mostly twins, you will be my tenth triplet case and I’ve done two quadruplets. You will have a sheet in front of you, that is so you don’t see the surgery process, and yes, I will talk to you every step of the way. I will hold the babies over the sheet so you can see them, but it depends on them how long I can do it. Let’s cross that bridge when it comes if they make their appearance before thirty-four weeks. I’m bringing my dad in to assist me, if that makes you feel better. I’ve asked him because he is the only other man I trust to help me with you. Also, if you want I can get a mirror in the operating room so you can see everything I am doing. I’m warning you, it isn’t pretty to see your flesh being cut away. Are you squeamish?”

  “I think I can handle that I want to see it all since this is my first and last time at it. Thank you for bringing in your dad. That means a lot to me.”

  My mind is racing with so many questions. Maybe I should write them down and we can discuss some more in depth.

  “Elizabeth, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why did you say that this is your last chance at a delivery?”

  “You haven’t read my file? Isn’t my info in there?”

  “I know these babies were conceived by IVF, but that is the bulk of your history in your file.”

  I slump in my chair, and lean my head against the cool window. It hurts to dig all these memories up, but I should tell Jacob. I softly start to tell him.

  “Grant and I tried for years to get pregnant on our own. After our first year of marriage I went off birth control. Once our second anniversary came around I came and saw your father. He advised me to see Dr. Wilson, so we met with him and started IUI treatments. I was artificially inseminated six times and nothing happened. I never even got a positive on a pregnancy test.”

  I can feel the burn in my eyes; I tilt my head back hoping that they won’t come out.

  “It’s okay, Elizabeth. You don’t need to tell me if it will upset you. I understand.”

  “No, I’m not crying about Grant if that is what you are thinking. I’m crying because for another year I prayed for a positive pregnancy test even if I ended up miscarrying. At least then I would know that I could have gotten pregnant. Grant knew how desperately I wanted to get pregnant, so for a first attempt at IVF we dipped into our 401K fund and did the whole cycle. We did two embryos. I didn’t get pregnant. Second time around Grant sold his car for another round of IVF. Another two embryos later and no luck. I kept pushing for it, I wanted to do it one more time. Grant wanted to wait till we were further into the new year, but I pushed him for one more try, and then we would start the New Year infertility treatment free. I begged him and he agreed one more time. I was called into Dr. Wilson’s office on a Friday because my embryos weren’t looking viable, so Ella took me and in a split second decision I asked to have all four put in. I couldn’t flush two down the drain and I couldn’t choose. I had my IVF treatment done on that Friday morning, by Saturday night I was watching my husband die from his motorcycle accident.

  Jacob grips my hand, and is kissing it. I lean over to his side, hold his hand in both of mine and kiss his palm.

  “So, if you remarry down the road, you don’t think you will have another baby?” He quietly asks me.

  “I don’t know, my life plan hasn’t really been going the way I thought it would. I would love more babies. I don’t think I can get pregnant on my own. I really can’t go through the emotional roller coaster of hell again with those treatments. I feel it killed Grant and I don’t want to go through it again. If my new husband can accept my boys as his own, then that is all that matters … I think? I don’t know why, but I can only hope that God has a better life plan for me then the one I had planned for myself,” I softly mummer to him as my lips are still on his palm.

  “Baby, I’m not a religious man, even though I know I should be. You know how my mother died from breast cancer when I was thirteen.”

  I nod and look at him to keep going. “Baby, I have to believe that there is a reason for everything. Even though we have no clue why it’s happening now, we will get our answers one day. I have to believe that my mother guided Grant into heaven, because I feel that this,” he points to him and me, “is the reason we are together and those two are your guiding angels for your babies. I believe Grant accepts us as a couple. I have to believe in some twisted way of life that it was planned for my mother to leave me when I was thirteen, so that I could honor her and become the best doctor I can be. It was planned for you to get pregnant as a widow and for us to meet. I HAVE TO BELIEVE THIS! I believe in God and that he does give miracles and I believe my miracle is you!”

  I just stare at him, with tears running down my face. “That is the sweetest and most logical thing anyone has said to me in seven months.” I sniffle out the words, and then I lift my hand and rub it along his stubble on his jaw line. He kisses my hands again, and I lean my head against the head rest. “OOWWW!”

  “What, what’s wrong?”

  “Just my boys wrestling, here feel them.” I grab his hand to where they are kicking me. He rubs his hand over my belly feeling every kung fu kick and punch. He just smiles while looking ahead and driving.

  “Pretty amazing, huh?”

  “Yes, it is, baby!”

  We get to the beach parking lot. He helps me out of the truck. Once I’m out, he cages me with the door and his arms. “Beth, I know that the last seven months have been difficult for you, and I hope that I have been more help than bad. I know we both have loved with all our hearts before and we have lost our hearts as well. I’m a differ
ent chapter in your life now and I am not here to out shine or compete with what Grant gave you in your marriage and your life together. I just want to give you what you want and need now. Am I what you need now?”

  I put my arms around his neck, while standing on my tip toes. I pull him down for a kiss. I kiss him hard with every fiber of strength in me. He sucked lightly on my bottom lip and I gladly opened my mouth eager to taste him again. Our tongues twist with each other. His kisses are beautiful, sending ripples of desire racing through my core. “Babe, you are exactly what I need. Please don’t ever think different. You are the reason I am standing here, smiling and happy. There’ll never be enough ‘thank you’s ‘ for what you have done for me.”

  “God, Elizabeth, you are an amazing woman. I can’t tell you how bad I want to make love to you!”

  I smile up at him, and kiss his chest. “Come on, let’s get to the beach.”

  He pulls out his surfboard, and a chair with an umbrella attached to it. “Here can you get these,” he hands me two water bottles.

  “I sure can.” I say back with a wink. Before we hit the boardwalk, I tell him I have to use the restroom. He waits patiently while I use the restroom. Once we finally make it to the beach, Jacob shows a different side of him, he looks like a child who is about to go on a roller coaster for the first time. He sets up my chair, with the umbrella and puts the water in the cup holders. He helps me sit down, then hands me his towel. He takes off his shirt, and I feel my eyeballs bulge out. Thank goodness for my sunglasses. He has the body of an Adonis. I don’t think I have ever seen abs so ripped. I mean Grant was lean and firm but never abs this ripped. I want to touch them and feel their hardness. Holy mackerel he has that v shape groin. As he lifts his arms, the waist of his swim shorts drop just a little. He has golden hair that trails from his belly button down his happy trail. I have to lick my lips, to make sure I’m not drooling. He skin is so golden and smooth. I want his skin against mine so badly. When he turns slightly I notice he has a tattoo. He has a shark tattoo on his right shoulder. “I didn’t know you had a tattoo?”