Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series)

by Goodman, Sarah

  “You mean tattoos. I have two. Yeah, the shark I had done on spring break during college. We went to Hawaii and it’s done in a tribal art form.” I know who “we” is when he mentions it. He’s talking about Rebecca, so I can see why he doesn’t bring up a certain tattoo that has meaning, which you really don’t want to remember.

  “Then this one,” he says while turning and facing away, “I did once I turned eighteen in honor of my mother.” Oh my, it’s so beautiful that I have to stand up and touch his back. It’s a Celtic cross that starts at the base of his neck and stops right below his shoulder blades. Behind the cross are angel wings that spread across his shoulder blades. The cross has pink roses intertwined in it. Then at the bottom are three meaningful letters, which spell MOM. “Jacob, this is beautiful” I say as I am still tracing over the tattoo. I can feel he has goose bumps from my touch. “Did you draw this up?”

  As he turns around, grabs me around the waist and pulls me close. I raise my sunglasses to my head so I can look into his eyes. “Baby, I had an idea of what I wanted. My mother was Irish and loved Celtic music. I remember her always listening to it when she cooked. The angel wings represent what she means to me. I know she is watching over me. Pink roses were her favorite and her birth flower. I told the artist what I wanted and this is what he came up with.”

  “It’s beautiful. Your mother would love it.” I say as I kiss his chest.

  “Baby can you hold my sunglasses for me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you need anything before I head out?”

  “Nope, I am good … you know you better give me a good show out there. I don’t sit and watch surfing for anyone, you know.”

  “I’ll do my best, baby.” He leans down and gives me another one of his amazing kisses.

  I pull out the iPod and turn it on. He has downloaded so many songs. Songs and artist I have never heard of. I look at the playlist and read through the list of songs in alphabetical order:

  3 Doors Down – Here Without You

  Brad Paisley – She’s Everything

  Chris Daughtry – Life After You

  Chris Daughtry – Lullaby

  Christ Daughtry – Start of Something Good

  Edwin McCain – I’ll Be

  Hinder – The Best Is Yet To Come

  James Blunt – You’re Beautiful

  Joe Diffie – Pick Up Man

  John Mayer – Your Body Is a Wonderland

  Josh Groban – You Are Loved

  Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

  Nickelback – Far Away

  Nickelback – Never Gonna Be Alone

  Tim McGraw Feat. Faith Hill – I Need You

  As I start to listen I look out into the ocean and watch Jacob paddle through the waves. Words can’t describe of how in awe of him I am. I see him straddle his board, looking into the horizon for his perfect wave. A wave is coming up on him close, he lies down, his arms paddling and within seconds he jumps up and dances with the waves on his surfboard. It is pretty spectacular to watch. He has such a talent. He has so many incredible talents. This man keeps calling me amazing, but I think he has it backwards, he is amazing. The way he moves his body up and down the waves, twisting and turning with such grace is spectacular. I’m oblivious to the music that is going through my ears. I just stare at this man, knowing that I am falling hard for him, and fast. Way too fast, Elizabeth!

  I listen to the music, I listen attentively to the wording. Jacob says that a few of these songs are songs of how he feels about me. I laugh when I hear Joe Diffie’s song “Pick Up Man.” It makes me think to the first time I saw him in his hot truck. The one that speaks to my heart is Josh Groban’s song “You Are Loved.” How ironic is it that my brother gave me a Josh Groban song and now my favorite on this iPod is another Josh Groban song? Jacob has gotten me through the toughest time in my life. I honestly don’t know where I would be without him. Maybe he is right, maybe this was my life plan all along. There is that saying my mother uses all the time, “The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a surprise. Your future is hidden.” Maybe, I was meant to experience grief and pain with Grant and now on this journey of life with Jacob I can experience joy and peace once again. Is it too much to say that I’m terrified, terrified to experience that kind of love, and then to have it ripped out of my soul? I can’t imagine going through that again.

  I stand up, stretch, and stare out in the ocean, watching him float over the water. I have to pee, again. So I wave to him, signaling that I am walking back to the restrooms. I slowly walk back, not realizing I am going uphill. Damn this is so hard, especially when you can’t see your feet! I’m half way there, when I hear Jacob yelling my name. I turn around and see him sprinting for me.

  “You didn’t have to come after me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to the restroom.”

  “I don’t want you going alone.” He says out of breath.

  “Alright, then you can help me. I feel like I am walking in quicksand.”

  I put my arm around his waist as we walk up to the restrooms. He’s standing there looking out over the ocean when I walk out. I go behind him and wrap my arms around him. I place my nose against the curve of his back and take in his smell. He smells of ocean and coconut sunscreen. “You are really talented! I liked watching you. Maybe one day, you can show me how to surf?”

  “I would love to teach you and the boys when they get older. I was five when my dad taught me.”

  “I think that sounds like a great plan.” I say, as I kiss along his spine.

  He turns around, and kisses my hair. “Did you listen to your music?”

  “Yes, and I am shocked to see you like so much country. I love them all, thank you.”

  “Baby, I’m born and raised Floridian. Of course I like country. I just love rock, more.”

  He winks at me, as we walk back down the boardwalk. “Wait here, I don’t want you walking back down in the sand. Let me run and go grab our things and we will head for lunch.”

  I smile and watch him run back to get our things. Hot damn does he have a fine ass! We are back in the truck heading to lunch. We pick a seafood restaurant that is on the canal where the cruise ships port. We are sitting outside under the umbrella, talking about everything under the sun and moon. I tell him how I finally put the house up for sale. I don’t think it will sell fast, because I want top dollar. I need every penny I can get, since I’m not working and I can only live off of Grant’s life insurance for so long. Plus I have college times three to start planning for.

  “Baby, I have a thought about this and I know it is really fast, but what if we move into a place together?”

  “You mean, we buy a house together?”

  “Yes! Let’s buy a house together. I’ll sell my condo and we can buy a house big enough for our dogs, the boys, guests, and us.”

  I stutter out of shock, “But, why? Why Jacob? We have only been seeing each other for a couple months and you want to buy a house. Babe, we haven’t even had sex yet.”

  “I know I am in this relationship for the long haul. I know we are meant to be together, so why not? You want to start fresh in a new house. I would love to be in a house with my dog again. We can do it together, and build our own dreams.”

  “Wow, Jacob you just really know how to throw a curve ball at someone! I don’t know, it just seems so fast. You haven’t even stayed overnight with me. Hell, you might see me in the morning and run for the hills. Please, let’s take baby steps here.”

  He grabs my hand from the table and holds it. “You see this finger?” He’s pointing to my finger that still holds my wedding band to Grant.

  “Yes, what about it? Are you upset that I haven’t taken this off? I can’t do it yet. I promised myself I will take it off once the boys are born.”

  “Baby, one day this finger will have my ring and it will represent my feelings for you and how I will be with you the rest of my life. I don
’t need time to tell me that I want to be with you forever.”

  All I can say to him is …”Jacob, Jacob, Jacob … baby steps please.”

  We finish lunch watching ships and boats come in and out of the canal. He pays the bill and we head home. I don’t know if it was the sun or what, but I am exhausted once we are in the truck I pass out. I wake up to feeling Jacob’s hand on my belly. He’s rubbing it, as his way of telling the boys and me he is here. I look over to him and with the back of my fingers rub it along his jaw line. “Sorry to fall asleep on you.”

  “Honey, its fine, you need your rest. We are almost to your house.”

  I sit up a little taller in the seat, and stare out the window and think of what we talked about over lunch. I need Ella and Kate. Jacob and I have been seeing each other so much lately I feel like I have pushed them to the back burner. Maybe dinner with my girls is just what I need after a day like this. I have no idea what I am doing. I’m tired of feeling scared. I was never a person to let fear consume me. Will I ever be free … free from this terrifying grip of death that is choking me?

  We pull into the driveway, and Jacob helps me out of the truck. “Want to come in for a while?”

  “Baby, I would love to. Let me grab my change of clothes.” He kisses my forehead, and opens the back door for his bag of clothes. We head to the kitchen, where he drops his bag on the bar stool.

  I go to him and wrap my arms around him. “I’m going to take a quick shower, help yourself. I’ll be out soon.”

  “Take your time, baby.”

  In the middle of trying desperately to shave my legs is when I feel a sharp pain. It is running along the right side of my belly, and it is squeezing everything around it. I feel a shooting stabbing pain in my lower back then more stabbing pains into my butt. I freak out and lose it … “JACOB!!! JACOB!!! COME QUICK!!!” I scream for him, while opening the door. Ouch, it’s not going away.

  Jacob runs in the bathroom, white as a ghost. “What? My God, What?”

  Standing there with the door open, I try to inhale and exhale, but damn does it hurt. I sputter out.

  “Pain, I have pain all around here and into my lower back and ass.” The shower door is open and he sees me shake from the cold. He jumps in the shower with me. He places his hands all over my stomach. “I think you are having Braxton Hick Contractions. Hold on a sec.” He jumps out and reached across the bathroom sink and grabs a glass, he fills it up with cold water and brings it in the shower, “Here baby, drink this. I think you might be a little dehydrated. Braxton Hicks can come on fast when you are dehydrated.”

  I gulp down the water, with his hands on my hips. It hasn’t even occurred to me that I am stark naked and he is in clothes. Once I am finished he takes the glass out of my hand and places it on the floor behind him. I cross my arms over my chest, I am so embarrassed of how he is seeing me for the first time.

  “That really scared me. I didn’t think they could be that strong. What the hell was stabbing in my ass?” I say while trying to catch my breath.

  “The pain in your fine ass is probably your Sciatic nerve. That pain will come and go and just depends on how the babies are positioned on your lower back. Braxton Hicks will come and go, but shouldn’t last too long. If they last too long and come frequent then we have other issues.” He starts to rub his hands all over my body. He grabs my body wash from the shelf and squirts some onto his hands. “Turn around let me wash you since I’m in here.”

  “It’s alright Jacob, I can handle washing myself. I’m just sorry that you had to jump in here with your clothes on.”

  Pulling my arms away from my breast, he looks at with me with pure lust in his eyes. “You are absolutely stunning, Elizabeth! Turn around, please. I want to wash you … I need to touch you.” I turn around and he’s on his knees. Squirting more body wash into his palm he washes my feet, then up my legs. With his hands on my butt, I can feel him kiss each cheek. Then hands on my hips he whispers for me to turn around. He kisses my protruding belly, washes my hips and belly. He stands up and grabs the bath wash and squirts more on his hands. He continues to wash my belly, and then his hands go from my wrist up my arms, down my collar bone and down to my breast. He rubs his hands all over my breast, with his thumb and forefinger he grabs my nipples and tugs on them gently. My nipples are pebbled and send shooting bolts of electricity to my nether regions. Pulling his hands around the nape of my neck, he bends down and we kiss. Our kiss is slow, and full of need. He gently bites my bottom lip, and I softly moan into him. Then our tongues entwine with one another and move with each other as our mouths were meant to be for each other. He pulls away from our long sensual kiss. He kisses my jaw line, then right under my ear lobe where more jolts of electricity are pulsating through my body. He whispers in my ear, “Elizabeth, you’re fucking sexy as hell and you have no clue how bad I want to make love to you and worship this body.” His hands glide all over my body and rest on my breast.

  “I think I have a clue. I’m the one with raging hormones, remember.”

  “Baby, I know and I would whisk you out of this shower so fast, but I … don’t know, I feel I should just wait. In due time I will have you and I will make love to you all night long.”

  I’m starting to prune, but I want to give Jacob the same shower treatment. “Here since you are in here, why don’t you shower with me?” I say as I peel his white shirt off of his mighty fine broad shoulders. Once he pulls the rest of his shirt off and throws it on the shower floor, I trail my fingers down the ridges of his abs. Starting to untie his swim shorts, he grabs my wrist. “Baby, I’m dying here and I want to be inside of you, so damn bad. I don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t want it to lead to something that will jeopardize us.

  “Jacob I know what I’m doing. I’m just going to wash you. I’ll stop you if you get out of hand.” He smashes his mouth on to mine and I feel the need in our kiss. He grabs my face, pulling me deeper in our kiss. His tongue is hot and soft as it dances with my tongue. I slowly suck on his tongue trying to show him what I would like to do to his cock. I pull away as I bite his lower lip.

  “Let me get you clean,” I say as I squirt body wash into my palm. Facing him I start with his broad shoulders, washing one arm at a time, and then I pull him into a hug while rubbing his back. I glide down to his tight ass and massage the soap into firm ass cheeks. I bring my hands around to hip lean hips and rub up and down along his abs. Coming back down, I’m inches away from his cock. He grabs my hands. “Don’t go there, at least not yet. I don’t want to come for you like this.” I just nod. I bring my hands back up his chest and around his neck. I pull him towards me and look into those sexy blue eyes of his. “I’m pruning and cold, let’s get out and maybe continue this in the bedroom.” I wink as I reach for the shower knob.

  He jumps out of the shower first to grab us towels. After he wraps the towel around his waist and holds mine open for me to walk into. He swaddles me in the towel. Pulling another one out, he wraps my hair in the other one. “Let’s get you dressed.” He says as he guides me into my bedroom.

  I put on a jersey shirt style dress. I tell him that I want to lie down for a while. He pulls on a pair of gym shorts and lies down in the bed next to me. “Is this ok?” He says looking at me knowing he is lying on the side that used to be Grant’s.

  “It’s fine …” I say as I yawn. “Can we talk for a while? I have questions that need to be answered?” We are laying on our sides facing each other. His hand is on my belly rubbing it in a soothing way. My hand is rubbing the bicep that is caressing my belly. He pulls me closer to him; my face is in the crook of his neck. This is better, because I don’t know if I can see his face for what I’m about to say.

  “The song choices were really good. I’ve never been a country fan, but I like the songs you gave me. I really like the Josh Groban song. What made you put that on there since it’s not really country or rock?”

  “My sister Olivia gave me his CD about five years ago
when I was going through a hard time. She made me listen to that song over and over when she was around.”

  “What happened five years ago?”

  “Life passing by,” he says in a depressing tone. “I was going to weddings out the ass, everyone was getting married or having babies and I was just alone. I mean I’ve dated women, but never felt anything close to what I had with Rebecca, not until I met you. You are so much more than I felt with Rebecca.”

  I’m so glad we are not looking at each other. “So I take it then that you have had multiple women?”

  “Elizabeth?” He tries to look at my face and I just bury it deeper in his neck. “I guess you can say I’ve had my share of women. I’m thirty-seven. I haven’t been celibate, but I don’t think I have been a man-whore either. I’ve only had sex with condoms, obviously Rebecca was the only one I didn’t, and I was checked after I found out she cheated on me. Why?”

  I’m such a twat! “Jacob, I’ve only had two lovers in my life. My high school boyfriend that I was with my senior year and then Grant.”

  “I think you are a fortunate one, baby. So, why the question about the song? We kind of got off track.”

  “No, it was that Grant’s memorial video my brother made was set to a Josh Groban song. Since hearing it at his funeral, I have started to listen to more of his music.” I say to him.

  “Elizabeth, it’s just another sign that we are meant to be. Both of our siblings gave us songs that have meaning to the situation we were in,” he says as I nod into his neck.

  Ok onto the major question that has been racking my brain.

  “Jacob, I’ve picked out the boys’ names. But, before I tell you, you need to know that these names are dear to me, they have meaning to me and my past. I need to know that if there is a future with me, if you will be ok with the boys being named after my past. Since, technically, they will always be half of my past as well.”

  He takes in a deep breath. Shit this is it, he can’t handle this, I knew it. “Beth, you can name them whatever you want. Hell, name them after the turtles as Kate suggested. I will like whatever name you pick, because like you said they hold meaning to you, just as any other parent picks out baby names. They hold some type of meaning. I will be ok with it.”