by Andi Lee
Speedy G dropped the ball at his feet, and he bent down, grabbed it, and threw it with such force the dog had to zoom ahead of them to catch up with it. He pretended it was Paul’s head as it bounced on the ground and Speedy caught hold of it and bit into it with sharp teeth and a shake of his head. Jamie stepped backwards out of the puddle, spun around, and walked back toward his car.
“Where are you going?” Dane called after him.
Jamie looked over his shoulder. “Where do you think? Tommy’s.” He was going to have it out with Paul. Dane jogged after him, calling for Speedy.
“What a fucking bastard,” Jamie muttered, more to himself than to Dane. “I’ll drop you off first.”
“I can come with you,” Dane offered, but Jamie shook his head. While he appreciated the offer, he needed to do this alone.
TOMMY LIVED in a block of apartments near the train station. It was too close to the centre of town for Jamie’s liking, but even he had to admit that the apartments were nice and gave the illusion of privacy while being close to the action. They were all built in a semicircle, with a communal garden in the middle and trees around the edge. The buildings were made of cheery red brick, and all the window frames were sparkling white. Jamie parked the car and pressed the buzzer three times, waited a few seconds, and then gave it another long jab.
Finally he heard the little click and Tommy’s tinny voice. “Yeah?”
“It’s Jamie. Let me up.”
The door opened, and Jamie jogged up the flight of stairs to Tommy’s apartment. Tommy was already at the door, waiting with arms awkwardly folded, eyes guarded. They hadn’t really spoken since before he’d run off with Paul.
“Where is he?” Jamie demanded, looking over Tommy’s shoulder into the apartment.
“Who?”
Jamie rolled his eyes. “Stop pretending you don’t know. Where the fuck is your boyfriend?”
Tommy snorted, and a tight laugh burst out of his lips that made Jamie wince. Tommy tightened his hand on the doorframe as he picked at some chipped paint. “We split up.” Dane was right, then.
“What? When?” he said, pretending to be shocked.
“You better come in.” Tommy stepped aside, and Jamie walked through the familiar door. It had been ages since he’d been there, and it still had an air of familiarity, though so many things had changed.
Jamie could feel Paul there, from the new cushions on the sofa to the collection of bow ties in a pile on the coffee table. There was a photo frame of them, and Paul was looking into Tommy’s eyes rather than at the camera. Paul’s shoes were on the rack in the hallway. His collection of commemorative fifty-pence pieces—a collection given to him by his nan when he was younger—were hanging in a wooden frame on the wall to the left of the fireplace. They’d never gotten around to putting them up at Jamie’s, and in the time Paul had lived there, he’d forgotten all about them. It made something twist uncomfortably in Jamie’s stomach.
If he was so much at home here, then why was he screwing with Jamie’s life? Why had they split up? “Doesn’t look like he’s left.”
Tommy dropped down into his favourite armchair, hands in his hair, and Jamie sat on the edge of the sofa, his anger fading slowly despite him trying to hold on to it.
“Yeah, well, he’ll be back to collect his crap.” Tommy didn’t sound happy about it.
“When did all this happen?” Jamie could guess, but he wanted Tommy to admit it.
“A few weeks ago.” Tommy closed his eyes as though it was too painful to talk.
“Of course it was.” Just in time to mess with his life. How had Jamie not known how vindictive Paul was? They’d been together over two years.
Nervous energy had him unable to sit still, and he tapped his foot erratically while he stood in the middle of the living room. Tommy opened his eyes again and frowned at him. “He’s fucking me over, and I’m not even his boyfriend anymore,” Jamie said, the anger returning, flames licking at his words.
“What did he do?” Tommy didn’t sound very surprised that something had happened.
“He turned up at my place, and he put one of my male rats in with Liam’s females.”
Tommy’s shoulders relaxed, and he laughed. “Is that all?”
“Is that all? Don’t you realise how dangerous that is? I’m not going to explain it to you, but I want you to keep him away from me.” Tommy knew him well enough not to laugh at something like that. So what if they hadn’t spoken properly for months? They’d spent years being best friends.
“Didn’t you hear me? We’re not together anymore,” Tommy said, the laughter draining from his voice.
“I don’t care. You had him last. He’s your problem until some other sucker takes him on.”
“Don’t talk about him like that.”
Jamie shook his head, a bitter smile on his lips. Couldn’t Tommy see that Paul had finally gone too far? He must see something if they’d split up, so Jamie wasn’t sure why he was defending him.
“Well, here I was thinking I’d be able to get my clothes in peace. No such luck,” Paul said, making them both jump. Jamie twisted around to glare at him, so angry he wanted to break something, preferably Paul’s face.
Despite splitting up with the boyfriend he’d left him for, Paul looked as well-groomed as ever, his trademark braces in place over a plain green T-shirt, hair perfectly coiffed. Tommy looked devastated in comparison.
Jamie’s fist connected with Paul’s mouth, and his knuckle caught on a tooth and split open. Paul reeled backwards, cupping a hand to his mouth in shock. Jamie’s hand throbbed, and his knuckle stung, but he left his hand loose at his side, not wanting them to realise how much thumping him had hurt.
“You bastard,” Paul said, voice muffled, lip swelling. Tommy stood between them. It was obvious he still cared for Paul and wanted to go to him. “Why did you hit me?” Paul said over Tommy’s shoulder as though he had no clue. That just made Jamie want to thump him again.
“Why did you come to my house? Was it just to switch the rats around and fuck with me and Liam?” Another thought came to him while he was shouting, and it just wouldn’t leave. “How the hell did you even know those were Liam’s rats? Out of all the rats in that room, and you pick his?” It was all premeditated, but Jamie just didn’t know why.
Paul gave an unhappy laugh, muffled by the hand still pressed to his sore mouth. “Come on. I’ve watched his videos. They’re easy to spot.” He stopped trying to deny knowing anything about it.
Jamie went after him again, and Tommy stepped in and pushed him back.
“Why? I don’t get it,” Jamie bit out, glaring at Tommy and giving him a shove because he was just so angry.
Paul moved his hand. His lip was split, and blood coated his front teeth. “Of course you don’t, because you’re perfect—perfect boyfriend, perfect job, perfect life. Now Tommy’s given me my marching orders, you’ll get your best friend back.” Paul looked at Tommy, and the usual smiling mask cracked as his bottom lip started to tremble. He sucked in a breath, fingers curled so tightly into fists that his nails must be digging in. “And I’ll be on my own again.” His voice wobbled, and he turned it into a cough, eyes flitting around the room, not looking at either of them.
“I was perfectly fine never seeing you guys again. It’s you who brought it to my doorstep. Sort your shit out and leave me the hell alone, got it?” Jamie laughed at them, and tears stung his eyes. “You don’t even realise what you’ve done, do you?” Not only was his relationship with Liam in question, but his reputation as a breeder was on the line.
“You don’t know what you’ve done to me either. Why couldn’t you just forgive us—or at least Tommy? He’s so guilt ridden that he’s done nothing but push me away, just so you’ll be his friend again. I don’t know what to do.” Paul ran his hand through his hair, undoing the perfect quiff.
“It’s not like that,” Tommy said to Paul.
“Isn’t it? Seems that way to me. Our relationship wa
s better when we were sneaking around.” Tommy winced and looked at Jamie.
“I don’t fucking care about you and your relationship. Just stay away from me and mine.” If he still had a relationship.
There was so much more he had planned to say, words that could bruise and leave Paul bloodied as much as any fist could, but in that moment, Jamie realised it didn’t even matter. He needed to make things right with Liam. He was all that mattered, and Jamie had forgotten about that in the big picture.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
LIAM HAD been single most of his adult life. It shouldn’t be so difficult now. Jamie was just one man. In the immortal words of Bowie, he had no power over him. His family and Selena didn’t understand why he was so hurt by it all. Who cared about rats? They didn’t get that it was Jamie’s reaction more than what happened.
Since he first brought Mabel home, he’d been met with confusion, distaste, laughter. No one understood why he loved a rat. Rats were vermin. They certainly weren’t pets. He hadn’t let their words get to him because he knew how wonderful she was. From the moment she’d sat terrified in his hands, he knew she was going to be his.
Then he met Jamie, and everything changed. Finally he found someone who understood. It was amazing. Jamie had so much knowledge, and Liam got sucked into his world. But now he’d seen a side to Jamie he didn’t like very much, and he didn’t know how to process it.
If Jamie was still that fake rebound boyfriend, then Liam would be out there hunting for a new one, talking about it on YouTube, and lapping up the attention. But Jamie wasn’t, and Liam wasn’t that bloke anymore.
Even Alice could see he wasn’t the same. He never would have sought her out to cry on her shoulder. She was usually a person he avoided. But she took one look at his ashen face when he turned up at her doorstep and dragged him inside—even opened a fresh packet of chocolate bourbons. He gave her a wan smile; he appreciated the gesture.
“Come on, bab. It can’t be that bad,” she said, and he explained what had happened.
It was obvious she truly didn’t understand the rat side of things, but at least she didn’t downright laugh the way Selena had. She was sweet and kind, plied him with tea and hugs, but there was no real comprehension of just how bad it was.
“I’m sure he cares more than you think, love.”
Liam ran a hand through his hair and realised he’d forgotten to brush it that morning. He must look a mess. “That’s part of the problem. He cares more about keeping it quiet than he does about the rats.”
“He does have experience with the breeding. Maybe you should listen.” She looked puzzled, but at least she was trying.
“He doesn’t want any of the other breeders to find out what happened.” He lowered his gaze to the table and pressed the chocolate crumbs with the pad of his finger. His heart felt bruised, and he was at a loss as to what to do.
“Relationships suck, bab. Believe me, I’m marrying your cousin. You have to compromise and talk things through, though.”
Liam snorted and scowled into his tea. “He’s not compromising at all.” It was Jamie’s way or no way. Why wasn’t Jamie trying to see things from his point of view? He hadn’t done anything wrong, yet he was being made to feel like crap.
Alice hugged him and shook her head with a smile. “You’re like a teenager in his first relationship, love. Even the little things seem epic. Cry it out and then let him apologise.” If only it were that simple.
“I’m going to end up a single rat father.” He imagined his flat overrun, and he groaned.
“Well, love. You know what they say about kids? It takes a village.”
He’d never heard that before, but he thought he understood. “Thanks, Al.”
His heart was still heavy when he left Alice’s, but he had someone on his side, and that made him feel a fraction better.
Jamie texted and left messages, but Liam didn’t reply to any of them. He had an influx of new clients keeping him busy, plus his vlog, as well as finding out how to look after pregnant rats. He had no time to dwell or reply. Jamie needed to say sorry, not stick his foot in it further.
Lux—it really was his name, as Liam had seen on his provisional driver’s licence—was a nineteen-year-old deaf student who wanted to learn with Liam because he knew fluent BSL. Liam texted him when he pulled up outside his house, and he appeared moments later. He hopped out of the driver side, settled into the passenger side, and adjusted his extra mirrors.
Lux grinned and signed a quick hello. He put on his seat belt and then twisted around to face Liam and asked, How are you? by curling his fingers into a loose ball, pointing his thumbs at his chest, and then bringing his hands up into a double thumbs up position.
He wouldn’t want to know how Liam was really feeling, so as most English people did when someone asked them that, he automatically signed back that he was fine and added four fingers to his mouth to say thank you.
Initial greetings over, Liam used BSL to tell him what they were going over in that lesson and to remind him what signals he’d be using to let him know where they were going.
In the years he’d been giving lessons to the hard of hearing, Liam had it down to a fine art, using a combination of simple BSL and simple hand gestures they could see from the corner of their eye. A pointing-forward motion meant straight on, thumb to the left meant next left, thumb to the right, next right. Palm down toward the floor meant more gas, palm up toward the roof meant less gas. He had to adapt to each client, but for the most part, they worked.
Lux gave him the thumbs up sign and then concentrated on the car, turning the key, checking his mirrors again, and then finding his biting point.
He was bone tired when he finally got home that evening. He might even be exhausted enough to sleep. The last thing he needed was to see the person waiting at the entrance to his first-floor converted flat. It wasn’t Jamie; he’d know his silhouette anywhere. But he recognised the willowy stance that could only belong to Dane.
“Go away.” He placed his key into the lock and cursed silently when it took him a few attempts.
“Can I speak with you just for five minutes?” Dane leaned against the brick wall as he watched Liam fumble with the key.
“No.” Jamie shouldn’t get his friends to do his dirty work.
“At least let me check your rats. Jamie is worried, despite what you may think.” He pushed the door open, and Dane shot a hand out, forcing it to stay open.
“Well, he had a funny way of showing it. Fine. You can check them. I think Gertrude and Mabel are pregnant.” It was the first time he’d said it out loud to someone.
“Jamie tried to let you know that there’s a medication that we can give rats if we suspect an accidental pregnancy. He’s worried Maud and Gertrude are too young for it.”
“That’s not what he was worried about. He wanted to get rid of the evidence. He doesn’t want all his fancy rat friends to know that he messed up and got some of his boarders knocked up.”
“Paul was sneaky. None of us knew he was that vindictive.”
Liam walked faster up the hallway and jogged up the stairs, happy when Dane cursed as he followed slightly behind.
He motioned Dane inside. “They’re fine.” He’d looked up the symptoms online so he’d know what to look for. He didn’t need Dane or Jamie.
“Hey, girl, do you want to come out?” Dane said as he walked toward the rat cage.
Gert was the closest to the door, so he opened it, and she scrambled into his arms. Traitor.
“You’re right. I’d say this one is pregnant.” Dane held her up and looked at the roundness of her belly. It didn’t take a genius or a vet to work that out.
She didn’t want to go back in the cage, so Liam took her and let her burrow into his hoodie. Dane examined Mabel and Maud, holding them in an easy manner that showed he’d spent a lot of time around rats.
“Yep, Mabel too. I’ll check the other one, just in case.”
“Just my lu
ck. Stuck as a single father,” Liam muttered under his breath, wondering where he was going to put the extra cages.
Dane looked up from the rats. “You know, it doesn’t have to be like that. Jamie was just freaked out about getting something wrong.” He gave a small smile. “He rarely gets much wrong, but when he does—he really does.”
Liam gave a sharp laugh. “It doesn’t even matter.” He didn’t know which way was up anymore. His heart ached, and his throat was constantly sore from swallowing unshed tears.
“You should let him explain, at least.”
Liam ignored Dane’s last comment. “I don’t want an explanation. He said he was sorry about what happened to the rats, but he said some other really shitty things that have nothing to do with you.” It wasn’t easy to forgive and forget. “Thanks for checking the rats, but I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Of course Dane would try to plead Jamie’s case. Liam went back to his front door and opened it pointedly. He was sick of feeling like this, he wanted to forget about Jamie and his friends.
Dane squeezed Liam’s arm as he left. “Think about it.” Liam stepped back into his flat, and Dane took that as his cue to leave.
Liam shut the door and let out a sigh of relief. Fatigue washed over him. He gave the girls a treat, went to rummage in the kitchen for his own snack, and only felt slightly pathetic when all he could find was half a jar of Nutella and a spoon.
Practically falling onto his sofa, he turned on the TV, settled on reruns of Top Gear, and devoured the rest of the Nutella until he started to go stir crazy and needed to leave the house before he drowned in his own tears.
He couldn’t believe how low he’d fallen. Once upon a time on a Saturday night, he would be on some random date or at the clubs on the prowl. He slammed the jar on the table and quickly went to freshen up, determined to go and have a life.
He got the train into Birmingham and joined the throng of people on the street, all out to have a good time. He bypassed Broad Street, Birmingham’s main party street, full of girls in tiny dresses and high heels, in favour of the village. He slipped into the first bar he came to, giving Nightingale’s a wide berth.