Promise Me Always

by Kari March

  I was having a hard time controlling myself and I knew the slightest thing from Shane’s mouth would set me off. I took a few breaths, trying to calm myself down.

  “What the hell is going on?” Matt said as he stepped between us. He looked back and forth at the two of us as we stood there, staring each other down.

  “Ask that prick. He is the one threatening to kill me,” Shane said, nodding in my direction.

  Just the sound of his voice set me off and I lurched forward, my fist pulled back, ready to strike. Lucky for Shane, Devin grabbed my shoulders before I could make contact as Matt pushed me back. The sudden occurrence was enough to shock Shane and I silently laughed when he flinched like a little pussy.

  “You piece of shit! Why the hell would you tell Tess I fucked Kristi when I didn’t?” I bellowed, by body trembling with fury beneath Devin’s tight grip on my shoulders.

  He laughed condescendingly. “You are so pathetic, Blake. You had it made—screwing a different girl every night, never having to deal with commitment. And then one night with Tess and you’re fucking pussy whipped. I did you a favor, man,” he said, smirking at me. I struggled again against Devin, but he held on for dear life. “You’re no good for her, anyway. I didn’t even have to say you screwed Kristi. Tess just assumed that you did. But can you blame her with your track record? You aren’t really the relationship type.”

  “Damn, that’s pretty fucked up, Shane! Maybe I should let Blake go,” Devin said, raising his eyebrows. Shane blanched at the thought, which made me snicker. “You deserve to get your ass beat for that.”

  Unfortunately for me, Devin still didn’t let go.

  I looked at Shane with a murderous glare. He hadn’t done this for me and I wasn’t buying his bullshit.

  “Don’t give me that shit, Shane! You didn’t do any of this for me!” I screamed, by voice echoing off the apartment walls. “You did this for your own gain and you fucking know it! You’ve wanted to get in her pants for years now. Well, guess what? She. Doesn’t. Want. You,” I shouted, emphasizing every word. “Stop fucking up my life just so you can try to fuck the woman I love.” Shane just stood there. The fear in his face only empowered me even more.

  “Yes, try, motherfucker,” I said, my voice low, “because it’s never gonna fucking happen.”

  I couldn’t hold still anymore. I pulled myself from Devin’s hold. Devin looked at me with his eyebrows raised—a clear warning to keep my shit together. I heeded the warning and started pacing the room, running my hands through my hair. This whole situation was a fucking nightmare and all I wanted to do was wake up.

  “The woman you love?” Shane chuckled. “Shit, now it’s my sole mission to sleep with her. I mean, she must be an incredible fuck to get you to fall in love with her!” He threw his head back and laughed. “And now that I got you out of the picture, I’d say my odds just increased.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the words come out of his mouth. I closed my eyes, my whole body shaking maliciously—I couldn’t control it anymore. Devin could take his warning and shove it up his ass.

  Just as I was about to charge him, the front door flew open. Startled, we all turned to see Tess standing in the threshold. And she looked pissed.

  I watched her as she slowly made her way across my living room, never taking her eyes off of Shane. What was she doing?

  She stopped right in front of him, never saying a word. I observed, in disbelief, as she quickly wrenched her fist back and then, with all her strength, crashed it into Shane’s face.

  My hand was throbbing in pain. But watching Shane fall back onto the couch and holding his now broken nose, cursing at the top of his lungs, was totally worth it. I never in a million years expected to overhear the shit that came out of his mouth and it infuriated me. On no account did I ever take Shane for an asshole, but his true colors were now displayed brightly and I was beyond grateful I witnessed it firsthand.

  Blake was right—Shane was trying to pull us apart and I let him do it. I chose to believe the bullshit he fed me instead of the truth from the man I loved. I was so hurt at the mere thought of Blake sleeping with another woman that I couldn’t help it. Anger consumed me. I couldn’t get the vision of Blake and Kristi out of my head. I had even dreamt about it all afternoon while finally getting some much needed rest. When Blake’s phone call woke me from my nightmare, I was so upset. I refused to answer the calls. The dreams seemed real and my jealousy got the best of me.

  I froze, like always, the moment Blake confessed what really happened that night. I wanted to believe him and, deep down, I knew I did. But all I could see were the images that Shane had clouded my mind with. I couldn’t speak or move, all I could do was watch the disappointment and hurt spread across Blake’s face as he turned and left.

  I couldn’t blame him though. I would have done the same thing. Inside, I was screaming at myself to stop him. I didn’t want him to leave. I tried to open my mouth and tell him to stop, but the words wouldn’t come. I watched as he disappeared down the stairs, my world collapsing around me as I stood there, paralyzed with emotional fear.

  After I closed my door, I sank to floor and cried into my hands. I couldn’t imagine my life without Blake in it and I had just let him walk away, again, leaving me hopeless and alone. All at once, everything I have ever wanted to tell him came rushing into my mind and I knew I couldn’t let him go. He had to know how I felt and afterward, if he still wanted to leave, he could. I had to go after him.

  I stood up and quickly ran out my door and down the stairs. Just as I got to the parking lot, I watched anxiously as his truck disappeared around the corner. I was too late.

  I hurried back up the stairs, threw on my flip flops, and grabbed my car keys. I wasn’t supposed to drive anywhere for the next few days per doctor’s orders, but I didn’t give a shit. I had to talk to him and I had to do it now.

  I was restless the whole way over to his house, my knees shaking and my fingers nervously weaving around the long strands of my ponytail.

  As I approached the house, I heard Blake shouting at Shane and I instantly knew why. Before knocking, I cautiously listened at the front door.

  I felt bad for Shane at first. He was taking Blake’s wrath for telling me what had happened and I knew that their friendship would more than likely be over because of it. My remorse for Shane quickly diminished as the argument continued and his true character was displayed—it was sickening.

  And then, through the mix of yells and threats, I heard something that made my entire world come to a screeching halt—Blake said he loved me. Even though he hadn’t said it to me, he had said it. My entire body was hit with a wave of warmth, confidence and ease washing over me. I had always known I loved him and now I knew that the feelings worked both ways. This changed everything for me.

  I was going to fight for him—for us.

  I couldn’t control myself any more once I heard Shane say those disrespectful things about me. My anger was boiling over and the only thing I could think of to make it perfectly clear that I was never going to sleep with him was to ram my fist into his face. So I did.

  “What the fuck, Tess! You broke my fucking nose!” Shane yelled out. His nose was bleeding profusely and I smiled brightly, relishing that it was me that caused it. Karma is a bitch.

  I heard Devin and Matt laughing uncontrollably behind me and when I turned around, I saw Blake standing across the living room, completely off-kilter. He hadn’t moved at all since I burst through the door. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from him. He looked so divine in his navy blue station t-shirt, it clinging tightly to his defined chest and arms. When his brown hungry eyes finally caught mine, I was done. I couldn’t hold myself back—I ran straight to him and even though it hurt like hell, I leapt into his arms. He caught me, as I knew he would, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  “I’m so sorry, Blake. I never should’ve let you leave like that,” I whispered into his ear. His short, sexy stubble tic
kled the side of my face as he nuzzled into my neck and it sent an uncontrollable shiver all the way down between my legs.

  “We need to talk… now,” he demanded and I nodded in agreement.

  I heard Shane groan in pain and we both turned and watched as Devin and Matt picked him up and started leading him towards the door.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Shane asked, baffled.

  “Showing you the way out,” Devin said calmly. “That was some fucked up shit you just pulled and you’re lucky Tess punched your ass before I did.”

  They passed right by us and, as they did, Shane gave Blake and I a vindictive glare. “Fuckers!” he muttered under his breath.

  I thought Blake hadn’t heard it, but right before they made it to the door, he set me down. “Hold on a second!” he called to the guys as he made his way over to them.

  Devin and Matt spun Shane around and Blake glared at him with hatred in his eyes. “If you ever come near her again, I will personally make sure you have more than a broken nose when I’m finished with you,” he seethed.

  “Screw you! You can have her. She’s just a stupid, prude bitch anyway!”

  I shuttered at his insulting words. I saw Blake’s fist form into a tight ball. My first instinct was to stop him from beating Shane’s ass, but when I looked up and saw the smug smile on Shane’s face, I decided to let Blake continue.

  Shane saw it coming and braced himself as Blake’s knuckles collided with his face, the cracking sound from the impact making me recoil and cringe. When I looked back up, Shane’s lip was split in two and blood was pouring from his mouth. Before Shane had time to recover from the first blow, Blake’s upper cut smashed into his gut. Shane took a sharp intake of breath as Blake nailed him with his other hand, his eyes growing large and rolling back in his head. Shane let out a deep, agonizing moan as he hunched over in pain.

  Blake looked over his shoulder at me, a satisfied grin plastered to his face and I couldn’t help but giggle at the satisfaction I knew he was feeling. Truthfully, I was feeling it a little bit, too.

  After watching Matt and Devin literally throw Shane out of the house, Blake took my hand and led me to his room. We didn’t say a word, the air around us thick with emotion. I was trembling like crazy from all of the adrenaline coursing through my body as I took a seat on the edge of his bed. After closing his door, he leaned his back against it, crossed his muscular arms over his chest, and stared at me intently.

  Memories of him walking down my stairs and out of my life filled my head. The excruciating guilt I felt made tears sting my eyes and I noticed a wave of sorrow wash over his face as he watched me. He knew what I was thinking. I hadn’t had faith in him, even after he promised me he would never lie, and that must have made him feel just as rejected as I felt that night at Matt’s house.

  The drawn out silence between the two of us was uncomfortable and I knew I needed to say something soon. After all, I was the one that fucked up this time.

  I took a deep breath, trying to get control of my emotions before I started the next emotional phase of my day. “I’m sorry, Blake, for everything.” I lowered my eyes, looking down at my hands. I couldn’t hold his gaze or I knew I would start crying—and that was the last thing I needed to do.

  I heard his footsteps as he made his way across the room. He knelt down in front of me and took my hands in his. “We’ve both made mistakes, baby girl. I’ve made more with you than I can count. But we can’t keep going on like this. We can’t keep hurting each other.”

  I couldn’t contain the tears, no matter how hard I tried. They spilled out of my eyes as my fears became a reality. I turned to the only emotion I knew how to express.

  “No, Blake, stop! God I… I can’t take this anymore,” I said in a rush. “I can’t sit here and let you walk away from me again. Just when I think we are finally on the same page, you take ten steps back. I know we have tons of issues that we need to work out and I know it’s going to be hard… but I can’t keep this up anymore.” I paused, looking up into his stunning eyes as I tried to compose myself.

  I continued in a soft whisper, “I miss you… so much. My life is empty without you.” I swallowed the knot that had quickly formed in my throat in anticipation of what I was going to say next.

  “I love you, Blake.” I couldn’t believe I had finally said it. A huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and, for a split second, everything was perfect.

  I stared into his eyes and waited for any kind of reaction. His whole face was void of emotion as his vacant gaze looked right through me. My heart was beating so wildly—if he didn’t say something soon, I was going to break down. I could feel myself on the precipice of a complete and utter ugly cry.

  He was rejecting me again, I could feel it. I tried to pull my hands from his grasp, but he wouldn’t release me. His face was so serious and I tried to brace myself for what was coming.

  “If you’re done with your little outburst, do you mind if I continue with what I was trying to say?” He finally said, raising his eye brow at me.

  I wanted to run away and hide. That was not the reaction I was hoping for! Feeling humiliated, I dropped my gaze once again to our hands and nodded for him to continue, knowing exactly what he was going to tell me.

  “Like I was saying…,” he trailed off, letting go of one of my hands to tilt my face back up to his. “We can’t keep doing this to each other. I know I’ve let you down and I know I’ve hurt you way too many times.” I tried to look away, but he held my face in place, his thumb stroking my cheek. I craved his touch, but it only made what he was about to say all that worse for me.

  “I’m sorry for everything. If I could take it all away, I would. You deserve so much better than me, Tess.” He hesitated for just a moment. I tried to protest, but he placed a finger over my lips, silencing me, while a small smile played on his.

  “I’ve been dying inside, knowing how much pain I’ve caused you,” he admitted. The tears that had been threatening to fall for the past few hours became too much and began falling down my face.

  “But,” he began, “if you give me a chance, I know I can fix this. I know I can be the man you deserve.” He reached up with his thumbs and wiped away the tears that were cascading down my cheeks. Tilting my head up, he made me look at him again.

  “You’re mine, Tess. You always have been and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together. Whatever it takes… do you understand me? I love you, Tess—I love you so fucking much,” he declared softly, his velvety voice making my whole body tremble with bliss.

  I closed my eyes, his words echoing through my head. I love you so fucking much. I slowly opened my eyes to look at him, praying that this wasn’t a dream. When he was finally in focus, his bright, sexy smile was all I could see.

  I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and, before I knew it, his mouth was on mine. A jolt of passion swept through me as his tongue slowly caressed mine. With his hands on either side of my face, he held me to him, deepening our kiss. I melted into him, our bodies so close to each other that it felt like we were one. I let out a small, protesting sigh when he started to break the kiss.

  Never releasing my face, he rested his forehead on mine, softly stroking his thumb across my cheek.

  “God I missed you,” he sighed contently.

  “I missed you more.”

  “I don’t think that’s possible, baby girl, but I’ll let you win. Just this once.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him.

  “Promise me something?” I asked as I nuzzled my face into his chest. He smelled so good and I took a deep breath, realizing that this smell —his smell—made me feel safe. Made me feel at home.

  “I don’t know,” he teased, “you’re pretty needy when it comes to promises.” He kissed the top of my head. I playfully slapped him in the chest, rolling my eyes. I couldn’t help but giggle a little at his comment—he always had to make some smart ass remark and I loved it.

 
“You said whatever it takes, right, to keep us together?” I looked up at him through my lashes and he nodded in agreement. “Promise me?”

  “Always.” He pulled me back to his chest and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “It will forever be always with you.” He held me tighter than ever and I could feel the desperation as he clung to me, like he was never going to let go. I never wanted him to.

  As I sat on my bedroom floor, with Tess in my arms, all I could think about was how much I’d missed holding her like this. My body craved her and this past month had been fucking hell without her. The withdrawals I had been going through were finally being treated as she burrowed her face into my chest. As smells of coconut and vanilla filled my senses, I quickly began to lose control of myself. I knew we still had so much to talk about, but suddenly the only thing on my mind was how badly I wanted to be inside of her.

  My dick was harder than shit and the throbbing was almost unbearable as it pushed against my pants. I pulled Tess away from my chest slightly, trying to adjust myself. She looked up at me with a seductive smile that told me she was just as deprived as I was. Her inviting brown eyes were full of love and desire and it took everything in me not to throw her down on the bed and have my way with her. I contained my impulses, knowing that I needed to take my time and savor her, especially after everything we had just shared with each other.

  “Touch me, Blake. Please,” she whispered with a modest desperation. I could tell she was a little embarrassed, as a flash of pink spread across her cheeks. She looked absolutely adorable and I couldn’t help but chuckle when her fingers found her hair.

  “And where, exactly, do you want me to touch you?” I asked as I wiggled my eyebrows at her. I loved teasing her and she was making it way too easy. The pink on her cheeks turned darker as she stood up, pulling on my arms so I would follow her lead. She motioned toward the bed and I took a seat, leaning my back up against the head board.