Damaged

by Jody Holford

  “You’re welcome. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Maddi. With everything else going on right now, it is a big deal. I think I owe you a dinner out.”

  She could picture his smile through the phone. Butterflies tickled inside of her chest, making Maddi wonder how she could she could have thought her life was full without him. “I don’t want dinner out. You know that.”

  “Something then.”

  “Or nothing. Nothing works.”

  “Why am I not surprised by that? You’re going to be impossible to buy Christmas presents for.” He laughed.

  “For goodness sakes, Noah! Christmas is months away.”

  She stood when an elderly woman sat down beside her. She never understood why people took the seat next to somebody when there were others open. Why didn’t they think about personal space?

  “True. Hang on—”

  “What?”

  “Not you, honey. I gotta go. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. Bye.”

  When Maddi turned, she saw Natalie walking down the wide corridor. With a purse slung across her chest, her hair tied into a high ponytail, and even with her professional clothing, she looked like a first-year college student. Natalie lifted one hand in greeting when she saw Maddi.

  “Everything go okay?” Maddi asked when she got closer. Natalie nodded and Maddi, trusting her instincts but still surprised by this one, embraced her in a hug. Natalie’s stiff posture belayed her surprise as well, but she returned the hug tightly. They stood, for just a moment, leaning on each other, and Maddi wondered who had needed the hug more.

  “They’re going to pick him up. He violated the order so they have grounds to arrest him and hold him until the hearing, which they’re hoping to move up to next week.”

  Maddi nodded, gave Nat one more quick hard squeeze and, ignoring her own need for personal space, threw one arm around Nat’s shoulder as they walked toward the car.

  Noah was starving. He tossed his phone to the passenger seat after trying both Nat and Maddi again. Neither of them was answering their phone. After trying both numbers several times to tell them to meet him outside the apartment building, he’d parked and was now waiting impatiently. Getting called to a jobsite early and unexpectedly had put him behind for the day. But he’d won the bid, so he and his guys would be busy for the foreseeable future. Now, he needed to eat and see Maddi and Nat. He’d unhooked his seat belt and was just about to open the door when his phone rang. The caller ID said unknown.

  “Evans.”

  “Mr. Evans. This is Officer O’Bryan. Your sister was in earlier to file further charges against Lyle Stevens.”

  “Yes?” Noah’s heart sped up. Why the hell aren’t Maddi and Nat answering their phones?

  “We explained that we’d be picking Mr. Stevens up, but we’ve been unable to locate him, and now we’re trying to reach Ms. Evans but can’t. We’d like to let her know that he’s not been picked up yet. You’re her alternate contact, and we’re wondering if you’re with her.”

  “I’m not. But I’m at her place, and I won’t be leaving her side until you find the guy. You’ll phone me when you do?”

  “We will.”

  Noah hung up, took a deep breath, and resisted the urge to throw his phone through the windshield. He had a key, and Nat and Maddi better have a damn good reason for not picking up. Noah got out of the truck, slammed the door, and started to step away from the vehicle. He was brought up short by the sight of Maddi’s brother. Of course, Noah hadn’t known who he was when they’d spoken outside of the building, but he would have recognized him from the short exchange. He wasn’t much taller than Noah, so it didn’t take any effort to make eye contact. Jason’s eyes were cold, dark, and the lines on his face made him seem older than he was. Before Noah could say a word, he noticed the gun-shaped bulge under Jason’s jacket. Noah’s eyes shot to the other man’s, his heart thudding deep and hard. Before Noah could react in any way, Jason spoke in a deep and gruff voice.

  “You need to do exactly what I say.”

  Natalie was doing her best to cry silent tears, while Maddi worked at keeping her features devoid of emotion. They sat side by side on Nat’s couch, legs touching, with their hands on their laps as Lyle had demanded. Maddi felt the tremors coming from Natalie, but she was impressed with how well Nat held it together. Lyle paced in front of them, wearing a path in the beige carpet, muttering mostly to himself but waving the gun at Nat every so often.

  “Now nothing is right and whose fault is that?” he asked, the gun loose in his right hand, making vacant eye contact with Natalie, who’d been roughly gripped by the chin when she’d put her head down at first. Now, with her back rigid, her tears lessening, she kept her eyes on Lyle without moving her head.

  “Mine?” she murmured. Maddi moved to cover her hand.

  “Don’t fucking touch her!” Lyle raged, jerking the gun toward Maddi, making Natalie gasp.

  The gun shook in his hand as Maddi sat stone faced, putting her hand back on her own lap. Another man. Another gun. She bit her lip hard enough to focus her thoughts on only this moment. Do something. Her head was reeling as she darted her eyes around the room without any thoughts on how to help them. Maddi had always been the one to run for help. Natalie might be one millisecond from completely losing it and Lyle, pacing and rambling, didn’t appear to be far behind. No help there.

  Maddi had been turning the lock in the apartment entryway, one hand on the key, one hand on the handle, when she’d heard Nat’s squeak. Lyle must have been waiting around the side of the building. He’d boxed them into the small alcove at the entrance with a gun discreetly but clearly pointed at Nat. There’d been no choice but to do as he said.

  “I’m going to put this gun inside my pocket, and you’re going to get us up to Nat’s apartment. It’ll be a lot harder if you do anything stupid and I have to shoot one of you,” he had said, his voice low and firm. Of course, they’d passed no one and he’d instructed them to keep their hands where he could see them so neither of them could get their cell phones. He’d handled getting Nat’s apartment key himself by running his hands over her, around her, and finally sinking them into her purse and retrieving them. He’d taken both of their purses when they’d entered the apartment and directed them to the couch. The clock on Nat’s Blu-ray player insisted that less than fifteen minutes had passed. It felt like hours.

  “We were good together. Why did you wreck it?” he asked.

  Lyle ran his free hand through his hair, tugged on the ends of it a little as he moved. Maddi found the changes in his tone almost as alarming as his gun. His mood straddled the middle of crazy and scary. Nat’s leg started to tremble, and Maddi had to be mindful of not letting hers do the same.

  “Answer me, Natalie.”

  Lyle moved closer, crouched down so he was eye level with them. Attractive, certainly, with his hazel eyes showing flecks of gold, his smooth skin, recently shaved, and perfectly trimmed chestnut hair. The smell of aftershave and soap could be pleasant, but they were turning Maddi’s stomach. He wouldn’t be anyone’s image of crazy and had Maddi not been witnessing the full extent of his fanatical behavior, she would understand what had pulled Nat in.

  “You hurt me,” Natalie said over a sniffle. She wiped at her nose with the back of her hand.

  Nat’s voice was raw and low, but she kept her eyes on his and her shoulders squared. Maddi felt a stab of pride toward her and hoped she’d have the opportunity to tell her that. Lyle’s arms rested on his knees, which were open wide in his squatting position, the gun just resting there like a prop. He’s unbalanced. Her breath caught as Lyle laughed cruelly.

  “I hurt you?” He held himself on the balls of his feet. “That’s rich. I hurt you. Like you didn’t tear my fucking heart out when you left me? I begged you to come back to me. You think that didn’t hurt?”

  Maddi’s eyes shifted sideways to see Nat’s lips compress, her face get impossibly pa
ler. Lyle’s eyes were glued to Natalie’s every movement. He licked his lips, tilted his head as he bounced slightly in his crouch. As he reached his free hand out, three things happened concurrently. The window to the right of the couch shattered in response to a large rock spiraling through it. It barreled past them, landing with a muted thud on the carpet. At that same second, Maddi swung both legs up and out to connect with Lyle’s jaw, while the front door smashed open on a yell.

  Noah’s heart hammered as he shouted for Nat and Maddi. His vision blurred and his body ached from holding himself so tense. After unlocking the door as quietly as possible, he’d lost it and simply shoved it open with as much force as possible. Noah raced through the apartment and found both women sitting on the couch, pale but alive. Maddi’s arms were wrapped around Natalie. Lyle was flat on his back, his legs at odd angles. His gun lay on the floor beside him. With a quick look at the bastard, Noah snatched the gun up as quickly as possible. When Noah put the gun down on a side table, Natalie started bawling loudly, and Maddi murmured, “Shhh. It’s okay. Shhh.”

  Everything crumbled inside of Noah. He couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice. “Jesus Christ. Are you two okay?” With an eye on Lyle, Noah pulled both of them up off the couch by their wrists, practically dragging them over to the corner of the room. Natalie huddled under his arm, with her face tucked in his neck and soaking him with her tears. Maddi moved like lead when he pulled her to his side. He was just about to ask again when Maddi, whose face was drained of any color, made a strange sound.

  “What, baby?” he asked, instantly on alert and looking around to see the cause of her distress. Jason filled the doorway. His gun was drawn and his eyes, full of menace and anger, went back and forth between Lyle and them.

  “Noah, get out. Take Natalie and go!” Maddi screeched, suddenly alive and moving. Her arms pushed at them, making Nat unbury herself from his neck.

  “What? No, Maddi. It’s okay—”

  “No! It’s not! Go!”

  Jason continued to advance and dropped to his knees beside Lyle, smacking him a couple times in the face, grunting in satisfaction at the lack of response. He holstered his gun, slipped his hand in his thin leather jacket pocket, and pulled out handcuffs. After cuffing Lyle, Jason stood slowly, his eyes on Maddi as she shook her head wildly. Nat moved behind Noah, shaking.

  “Maddison, I’m not going to hurt you. Any of you,” he said softly. He held his hands up and in front of him as proof.

  Noah moved his arm away from Nat and took Maddi’s shaking head between his hands. He bent his knees so he could look into her eyes.

  “Honey. Breathe. It’s okay. Your brother helped me get in here. It was his idea to throw the rock. Jason was watching the building when Lyle pulled the gun on you two. He was just about to find a way in when I showed up. He was looking out for you, baby. It’s okay,” he told her. Sirens wailed through the open window. “Maddi, look at me.” Her eyes were darting back and forth. Her shoulders trembled slightly, but she focused on him when he asked.

  “It’s okay. He didn’t come to hurt you. You’re safe. You’re both safe. Did the rock hit him?” Maddi looked confused by the question, as if torn between answering it and continuing to push him and Nat out of the way.

  “Uh-no. I—”

  “She totally kicked him in the face!” Nat said. She was half sobbing, half laughing.

  Noah looked at Maddi and Nat then back at Lyle, where Jason still stood, reserved except for the smirk on his face. The image of her kicking Lyle made him bark out a laugh that washed away the rest of his terror. He tugged Nat back in with one arm and clutched Maddi to his other side. He was pretty sure he’d just shed ten years off his life. Before anyone could move from the living room, it exploded with more activity. Two uniformed officers, guns drawn, demanded they all “Freeze.”

  As Noah unhooked his arms from Natalie and Maddi, all of them showing their hands, Lyle began to stir. Jason, in the process of turning, hands still raised, to face the police officers, kicked the groaning man in the ribs and said with a low growl, “They said ‘freeze,’ asshole.”

  Chapter 21

  Noah was non-negotiable on taking both Maddi and Nat to the hospital. Once the police had questioned everyone, Lyle was taken into custody, where he’d be held until his hearing. Maddi had still expected Jason to be arrested as well, at the very least, for possessing a weapon. As it turned out, not only did he have a license to carry, but he was a private investigator. Before she could even begin to process that news, Noah had ushered them out the door to the emergency room.

  She had gone along but insisted she was fine and told him to go in with Nat, who was still shaken up when they got there. Maddi hated hospitals. The sound of murmured voices. The smell of sickness and disinfectant. She heard one of the nurses arguing quietly with a patient. A woman was crying in a man’s arms by the automatic doors, and another woman sat jiggling her leg and asking her son if he was sure he was okay. The son, with a bloodied cloth pressed to his brow, continuously sighed and repeated, “Yes.”

  Sitting in the hard plastic chairs, waiting for Nat and Noah to finish up with the doctor, Maddi closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. Her brain felt like she’d spun herself in a dozen circles and needed a moment for all that had happened to detangle itself in her head.

  “No stranger to places like this, are we?” Jason said as the chairs shifted beside her.

  Maddi didn’t open her eyes. Though the smell of his soap and the leather of his jacket were preferable to the stagnant air, they choked her. With him beside her, tears welled up behind her eyelids. Too many things. It was all too much.

  “That was another life,” she replied quietly, turning her head and opening her eyes into his. The years were etched on his face, in his eyes and around them. She saw traces of the boy he used to be in his tired smile.

  “A life neither of us deserved.”

  Jason crossed his large arms over his larger chest. He’d certainly filled out from the skinny rake he’d been as a teen. It was hard to look at him and think rationally at the same time. It was like one of those photos with images hidden inside. She saw him, but if she looked harder, she saw more. Maddi didn’t want to see anything at all.

  “What are you doing here, Jason?”

  “I wanted to see how all of you were doing.”

  “But what are you doing here?” Maddi sat up, turned her body toward his, not ready to talk to him but unable to send him away. He unfolded his arms and ran his palms up and down his weathered jeans. He looked down at his sneakers for a moment then straight into her eyes.

  “I told you I’d come back,” he said more softly than she’d imagined a man of his size could. “It took longer than I expected, than I wanted. But I promised.”

  She turned away, looked over as the nurse came to tell the mother and son he could go in for his stitches now. Maddi fiddled with the strap on her purse.

  “So, what? You want to take care of me now? I’m not a defenseless, scared thirteen-year-old anymore,” she said finally, without anger.

  “I know that. I just want what I’ve always wanted: to know you are okay.”

  Maddi stood, knowing he’d follow, and walked out the automatic doors. The sun was setting over the cars in the lot. A Colorado sunset was worth seeing, and she watched as the red hues blended with each other, meshing, creating a nameless fusion of orange, pink, and yellow. She could sense Jason’s presence behind her, and found the anger she’d expected earlier. Heart beating overtime, she whirled, pointed at her own chest.

  “I am okay. Now. But I wasn’t, for so many years. And you weren’t there. You said you would be and you weren’t,” she said. When he flinched, she was surprised by the shame in his expression.

  “I know.”

  “So why now? Why the hell would you show up now? Why have you been following me? Scaring me?” she asked, suddenly thinking of hair-on-the-back-of-her-neck tingles and lurking figures.


  “I never meant to scare you. I hate that I did. But I had to know you were okay. Then I noticed that Lyle character and thought he might be following you. I was keeping an eye out when I realized he was following your boyfriend’s sister.”

  Maddi closed her eyes for a moment, pretended he wasn’t there, like she used to do when they were kids and he bugged her. When she opened them, of course, he stood solid and real in front of her. Sirens blared as an ambulance pulled into the emergency parking. Maddi moved to the sidewalk, Jason moving beside her.

  “Why now?” she asked again.

  “Because this is the best I could do, all right?” he said in return, his voice hushed but irritated. Jason stopped and looked down at her. His hand touched her arm. “I was already playing with drugs before Dad shot her, okay? After that, after watching them take you away, well, let’s just say I didn’t take it well. I had nothing. I was nineteen years old, both parents dead. The only person I gave a goddamn about was in foster care. It was an easy slide. Hell, it was a welcome one.”

  His fingers flexed as he paced the pavement. Brushing his hands through his military-style hair, he linked both hands behind his head. Jaw tight, he looked at Maddi with so much sadness her breath hitched. Jason dropped his hands and his shoulders fell with them. With a lifetime of weariness in his tone, he spoke.

  “I only got clean about four years ago, Maddi. Since then, I got my PI license for the sole purpose of finding you. I just needed to see that you were okay. I needed to hear your voice. I needed to make sure that … that you didn’t take the path I did. It’s not surprising that you’re a success or beautiful. You were always the best of both of them. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you then. I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner.” His voice cracked. “I’m sorry you had no one. I’m so sorry I let you down. More than you know.”

  Maddi couldn’t talk. Dampness gathered in her brother’s eyes, and it was like being punched in the heart. Jason had only ever cried once in front of her. Before Maddi could swallow the tennis-ball-size lump in her throat, he reached out, ran his hand down her hair, turned and walked away. Maddi’s tears spilled over as she watched him walk, once again, out of her life. Her chest burned as she sank against the cold, brick wall.