[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years

by Tracie Peterson

  He reached out and pulled her into his arms. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. In a rush of memories he was just twenty-one and she was his first and only love. “Of course I’ll help you. She’s my daughter too.” He stroked her hair and tried to think about what should be done.

  “I saw a couple of our friends on the way over here,” Ashley said, pulling back just enough to see his face. “I told them to keep their eyes open for her—to ask around. I asked them to check around town, but Ethan, I’m sure she’s not there. I just have this very bad feeling. Call it a mother’s intuition.”

  “Does she have a good friend she might have gone to see? Someone in whom she’d confide all of this?”

  “She has friends, but I don’t think she would be inclined to go share this. She’s hurting and scared. Her whole world has been turned upside down today. First Grandpa and now this. Oh, Ethan, what are we going to do?”

  “Excuse me,” a man called from the doorway.

  E. J. looked up to find Marcus Greeley, the journalist who had introduced himself at the dinner with Lindbergh. “Ethan Reynolds?”

  “You!” Ashley declared. She looked back at Ethan. “This man came to my door asking to talk to us. I think he’s the same one who was following Natalie.” She looked back at Greeley.

  “You were following my daughter,” Ashley said. “I know it was you. I saw you hiding and following her.”

  “Actually, ma’am, I was following the both of you, but your daughter just seemed to come to see Mr. Reynolds more often than not, so I found it more productive to follow her.”

  “Do you know where she is now?” Ashley asked, stepping away from Ethan.

  “No, I can’t say that I do, but I heard from some of the railroad men that she was missing. I want to help with the search.”

  “I don’t understand why you were following Natalie,” E. J. stated. “Or why you would follow either of them.”

  “Because unless I’ve missed my guess, you’re Ethan Reynolds.”

  E. J. knew there was no sense in lying. “I am Ethan Reynolds, but I still don’t understand. If you were looking for me, why bother them?”

  “It’s kind of a long story, but since time is of the essence here, I’ll try to shorten it a bit.” Marcus twisted his fedora and shrugged. “I’ve been looking for you since you were sent home after the Great War. See, I was on that battlefield when your act of courage saved hundreds of men. I wasn’t in your company, but my company was in your division, and we were pinned down by the same machine gunner that got some of your friends. I was wounded early on and losing blood fast. There wasn’t much hope of getting me out, and then you went charging through the bullets as though they were nothing more than horseflies. You saved my life.”

  Ethan stiffened. “I just did what had to be done.”

  “Yes, but no one else had been able to do that, and if you hadn’t acted when you did, I wouldn’t have lasted another hour. Your act of heroism allowed my buddies to get me out and back to a field hospital.”

  “That doesn’t explain why you’re here now,” E. J. said, eager to get the man’s focus away from battle.

  “At first I just wanted to find you and thank you. I started this back in 1920,” he said, laughing. “I wanted to meet you and give you a smoked ham from my folks. Sounds silly now, but it was important then. After a time when I kept running out of places to look, I thought to check with the army and see if they had any record of you.

  “The army could only tell me that you had a wife, Ashley Reynolds, and where she lived. I went there, but of course she was gone. I kind of gave up the search for a while. I needed to settle on my writing. I put together a collection of stories on the war and found it well received. I wrote for several newspapers, and then one day the same publisher who’d contracted my book of stories came to me and asked me to write another book. A book about the war and the men who’d fought and where they were now that the war was ten years behind them. I immediately thought of you and what you’d done. I knew I had to try again to find you.”

  Ethan shook his head. “I can’t imagine it being that important.”

  Marcus rubbed his bare chin. “Well, it was to me. My big break came one day when a friend who knew what I was trying to do with the book sent me a newspaper clipping from Winslow. It showed your daughter in a parade with some veterans. The article had stories about each of the men. He actually thought I’d want the information on the other men, but what I really found of value was the information about your daughter. I knew from reading the article that her mother’s name was Ashley Reynolds—and that it had to be the same woman. I was stumped by the fact that your little girl was quoted as having lost you in the war before she was even born. I knew you were alive.

  “Anyway, to make a long story short, I came here to see if I could talk to your wife and daughter and figure out why they thought you were dead. I thought maybe they were trying to hide something or maybe the newspaper writer had tried to make the story more of a heart-gripper than the truth would allow. So I decided not to approach Mrs. Reynolds and Natalie right off the bat. Instead I nosed around and asked questions here and there. Surprisingly enough, Natalie led me to you. Now I want to help find Natalie.”

  Ethan’s mind was still reeling from the story, but he knew there’d be time to sort out the details later. “I’d appreciate the help.” He turned to Ashley. “Where should we look? I really don’t know the area.”

  Ashley shook her head. “She has several favorite places, but she isn’t thinking rationally. She could have taken off to Clear Creek—she loves it there. Or she could have gone up toward the river. There are . . . some places along the . . .” Ashley broke down, burying her face in her hands.

  Ethan again pulled her close, but he looked over her shoulder to Marcus Greeley. “Do you have a car?”

  “No, but I’d be willing to bet money we can get one. I’ll start asking around,” Greeley said and quickly exited the room.

  “Ashley, listen to me. You have to be strong for Natalie. You have to think clearly and help me here. I can’t do this alone.”

  She looked into his eyes. “You aren’t alone.” She sniffed back her tears and regained her composure. “I’m here with you.”

  He nodded. “Come on. Let’s see what’s to be done about transportation.”

  They stepped from the office and into the lobby hallway to find a growing collection of people.

  “We’re here to help,” said one man, his overalls grease-smeared along with his face.

  “It’s too dark to see,” someone else commented. “We can look around town, but going out much farther will have to wait for first light.”

  “That’s true,” yet another person called. “Too many dangers.”

  Ashley grabbed E. J.’s arm. “She can’t be out there all night. It’s already chilly and it will get much colder. There are dangers for her as well.”

  E. J. looked at the men who surrounded them. “Is there no way to go searching—even with a car?”

  “You can drive the roads in the dark, but you won’t be able to get off across country. If she’s riding that pony like she’s done in the past, she ain’t sticking to the roads,” a balding man threw back.

  E. J. looked at Ashley. “If we can get a couple of cars, we’ll at least drive around and call for her. We might actually spot her. You just never know.”

  Ashley nodded. “I’ll go find Pastor McGuire. He has a car.”

  “I’ll run for him,” the man who’d first spoken up offered. He took off before anyone could acknowledge him.

  E. J. stood feeling rather helpless while several of the local men organized the collection of people into a search party. He listened to the chatter around him. People presumed Natalie was just upset because of her grandfather’s death. They were sympathetic and hopeful that she’d come home before much longer, but they were also happy to look for her. Their obvious affection for his daughter warmed him through and through.r />
  Within the hour Ethan and Ashley joined Pastor McGuire in his car, while Marcus Greeley and several other townsmen piled into an assortment of cars and flatbed trucks. They’d all agreed to meet back in one hour at the Harvey hotel. Ethan had never known when he’d been more frightened. With Ashley clinging to his hand, he knew his worry over their child was worse than anything he’d faced on the battlefield.

  Lord, he prayed, please keep her safe. Please don’t allow any harm to come to her. The prayer seemed so little—so ineffectual. Surely he could do more than pray and drive around in the dark.

  But there was nothing else to be done. Just as he feared, the car lights were no real benefit against the blackness of the empty desert. After the allotted time, they turned around and headed back to town. Ashley began to sob softly against E. J.’s shoulder.

  “It’s going to be all right,” he whispered. “We have to have faith. God wouldn’t bring us all together like this just to see us separated again.”

  Pastor McGuire spoke up just then. “I’m having a hard time understanding what’s happening here. I heard Ashley call you Ethan earlier.”

  Ethan drew a deep breath. “Yes. I’m her husband.”

  “But you were believed to have died in France.”

  “I know. I was pretty close to dead, but apparently the army made a mess of things and sent her the wrong letter. We’ve only just learned the truth for ourselves.”

  “And is this the real reason for Natalie’s disappearance?” McGuire asked as they pulled up in front of the Harvey hotel. He stopped the car and waited for Ethan’s answer.

  “She overheard her mother confront me. It’s a long story, but yes, this is the reason Natalie is gone. This is why we weren’t inclined to believe she’d just come back home before long. This is why we’re both so scared.”

  The pastor shut off the engine and smiled. “Well, I’m happy to say that I know for a fact God still answers prayer. Natalie’s fondest wish and deepest heartfelt prayer was for God to send her a daddy. I know because she got me in on it as well.” He laughed. “Once she thinks this through, she’s going to be delighted. In the meantime, we’ll just pray for her safety and that she’ll see the reason in coming home quickly.”

  E. J. nodded. He wanted to believe the pastor’s words. He wanted very much to have hope so that Ashley could take courage from him. Suddenly it was very important that she see him as the man she needed him to be.

  Dismissing the searchers for the night was the hardest thing E. J. ever had to do. He watched the men leave in the same spirit of dejection he felt gripping his heart. Fear was a powerful opponent, and right now it seemed to be an unbeatable one.

  “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” Pastor McGuire suggested to Ashley. “Besides, Natalie might have already returned.”

  “My mother and aunt Lavelle are there,” Ashley said softly. “I should go check and see if they’ve heard anything, but I couldn’t sleep. Not in a million years.”

  “I’ll go with you,” E. J. said. He extended his hand to the pastor. “Thank you. Thank you for helping us tonight and for the prayers.”

  “I’ll be back in the morning. I’ll bring some saddle horses. We’ll have a better time of it if we look for her on horseback.”

  E. J. nodded. “Thanks. I’ll be here.”

  He pressed his hand against the small of Ashley’s back. “Come on. Let’s see if she’s gone home.”

  They walked in silence along the city streets. Ashley didn’t seem to mind that E. J. had taken hold of her hand. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d done it. They’d only just come back together, but it seemed so very right.

  Ashley opened the front door and was immediately greeted by her aunt. “Have you found her?” Lavelle questioned.

  Ashley looked at E. J. and bit her lower lip.

  “No,” E. J. replied. “We’d hoped you might have heard something.”

  Lavelle shook her head. Worry etched her face. “I’ve put on a pot of coffee.” She looked at Ashley, her expression suggesting dread. “Your mother went to bed. She was quite worn-out.”

  “You needn’t make excuses for her,” Ashley replied. “She doesn’t care about Natalie.”

  “I think she does . . . in her own way,” Lavelle reasoned. “I just think she’s taken this whole news of Father and the stock market quite hard. I think it’s catching up with her, and Natalie was just the final straw. This very well may be a turning point in her life, Ashley. We must pray for her.”

  “Well, frankly, I hope she stays up there. No, actually, I wish she weren’t here at all. After what she did to Natalie . . .” Ashley’s words were hard and cold. “I don’t need her making this worse.”

  “There weren’t any hotel rooms available for tonight,” Lavelle explained. “They’ve reserved her something for tomorrow. I took it upon myself to tell her to plan on staying here tonight.”

  “I suppose I have no choice,” Ashley replied bitterly. “After all, it would hardly be the Christian thing to do. Oh, but I don’t feel like being very Christian when it comes to that woman.”

  Her aunt patted her on the arm and turned to E. J. “Mr. Carson, isn’t it?”

  E. J. straightened and looked to Ashley. “I . . . uh . . .”

  “Aunt Lavelle, I think we should sit down to coffee and then continue this conversation. There’s something you need to know.” Ashley motioned E. J. to the living room. “Just take a seat and I’ll get the cups.”

  She and Lavelle disappeared momentarily, and when they returned she carried a tray and three cups, along with a plate of cookies. “I thought you might be hungry,” she told Ethan. “Neither of us had supper.”

  “I could make some sandwiches,” Lavelle offered, still looking curiously at the two of them. When Ashley took a seat close to E. J. on the sofa, Lavelle raised her brows in question.

  Ashley poured the coffee and began the long explanation. E. J. sat in silence, knowing that it was probably better to let Ashley vent her emotions and thoughts.

  “He seemed so familiar,” she continued to explain, glancing at E. J. “He walked the same way Ethan walked. He even liked to whistle Ethan’s favorite ragtime tune. It seemed like a silly coincidence, and in fact, I thought I was just making it up in my head. You know, because I wanted so much to remember Ethan.”

  “Well, this certainly is stunning news,” Lavelle said. She took a long sip from her coffee, then looked E. J. in the eye. “So what happens now?”

  “Now we find Natalie,” E. J. replied. “Nothing else matters until we know she’s safe and sound.”

  “I agree,” Lavelle said, nodding, “but you have to be prepared for her questions. And knowing my great-niece, one of the first questions on her mind will be whether you intend to stay here in Winslow and be a father to her.”

  E. J. cleared his throat nervously. “I love Ashley as though the lost years between us had never happened. She’s easy to love, but of course, you know that. I don’t know that I’d be much good anymore as a husband or a father, but . . .” He fell silent and looked at Ashley. “I’d like a chance to try.”

  And in that moment, he knew it was true. Despite the past, he wanted his future. And he wanted that future to be with Ashley and Natalie—but not as E. J. Carson. He wanted his life as Ethan Reynolds back. Ethan was the man Ashley had fallen in love with, and from that love, Ethan was the man who helped create Natalie. “Ashley, I want to be Ethan again—the man you once loved and married.”

  The house was silent a moment before Lavelle coughed quietly and then bid them good-night. Ethan noted the time was nearing eleven. “I should go,” he said softly.

  Ashley had said very little since giving her explanation of who he was. She’d sat beside him on the sofa staring pensively into the fireplace.

  “It’s so hard to be here all safe and warm,” she said as though she hadn’t heard him speak, “and know that she’s out there alone.”

  “I know,” Ethan said, reaching
out to take hold of her hand.

  To his surprise, Ashley leaned against his shoulder. “This is like a dream and a nightmare all wrapped into one. You’re here—and that’s all my dreams come true. But Natalie’s lost and that’s all the horror a mother’s heart could ever imagine.”

  “She’s a smart girl. She’s going to be all right.”

  “Do you really believe that?” Ashley asked, barely suppressing a yawn.

  Ethan squeezed her hand. “I do. I’ve just spent the last few weeks in her company. She’s told me stories about her life here—about her dreams. She thinks things through, and even though she acted out of emotion tonight, she’ll think things through and come home.”

  “But what if she’s not able to come home?”

  “Ashley, we can’t think like that. It wouldn’t serve any good purpose. We have to believe that God is in control and that He’s heard our prayers and will protect her.”

  “For so many years, I didn’t believe God cared. Maybe He’s punishing me.”

  Ethan’s heart nearly broke. “No,” he whispered. “God doesn’t work that way. I don’t know a whole lot about the Bible, but I do know that God wouldn’t purposefully bring harm to an innocent child.”

  “But someone else might,” Ashley whispered.

  “God will see us through this, Ashley. I promise you, He will. She’s going to be all right.”

  They sat in silence watching the fire, and it wasn’t long before he realized that Ashley had fallen asleep. Her rhythmic breathing comforted him. Ethan eased Ashley into his arms and leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. It felt so right for her to be here with him.

  ****

  He hadn’t intended to sleep, but when Ethan woke up just before dawn, he realized what had happened and smiled. For the first time since the war, he hadn’t been riddled with battlefield nightmares. In fact, he couldn’t remember a single image haunting his sleep. Ashley had made that possible—he was certain of it. It was almost as if God had given him a sign he so desperately needed. A sign of peace and tranquility. A sign that with Ashley at his side, he could leave the past behind.