Love’s Secret Baby

by Goode, Ella

  “I can touch my great-grandchild.”

  “I wouldn't do anything with our son that you wouldn't want,” Jonas tells me. From the look in his eyes I believe him.

  “Thank you.” I give him a tight smile. “I need a moment.” I turn, leaving them behind.

  “Darby, you need to eat,” I hear him call after me. I ignore it. I am not going to break down in front of Jax. I don't want to do it in front of that woman either. I have a feeling she might like to see me fall apart. That she might find some pleasure in it. I refuse to give her the satisfaction.

  What had I ever done to her? If what Jonas is saying is true, she went to great lengths to get rid of me. Why? Was I that horrible of a person or was she?

  “Darby?”

  I whip around at the sound of Jonas’ voice to see him half running with Jax in his arms. The sound of Jax giggling at being bounced around echoes through the hall.

  “Jax needs to eat,” I hurriedly say, still trying to make my escape back to our room. Jonas’ face looks a little panicked. “What’s wrong?” I take a step toward him. Did something happen? Jax seems to be okay. I’m actually surprised he’s not pissed that he’s been taken from his carrots and French toast. He will eat anything covered in syrup. He gets that from me. Jonas continues to stare at me.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine.” He shifts on his feet.

  “I don’t like you running off and not knowing where you are going,” he admits.

  “I promise I would never take off without Jax,” I reassure him.

  “It’s not that.” He runs his hand down his face. “I just got you back.” Oh. More of my anger at him melts. He might actually care for me.

  “This is a lot to take in. I needed a moment and that woman—”

  “She doesn't matter.” He cuts me off. He’s so wrong. I think she matters a lot. Not only is she his family but she ripped us apart once. She could do it again. “Come here.” My feet move on their own accord to get closer to Jonas. He wraps his arm around me. My body melts into his side. I tilt my head to look up at him.

  He leans down, his mouth brushing against mine in a soft kiss.

  “Kiss?” Jax asks, puckering his own lips. Without hesitation, Jonas gives him a kiss. Jax turns to me, puckering his lips again. I don’t have to be asked twice. I give my little angel a kiss. We actually look like a family. How many times have I dreamed of this?

  “We’re a family. I want us to get married as soon as possible. For you and Jax to have my name.”

  “Jonas, I-”

  “Don’t. I’m having the breakfast brought to our room. You both need to eat. We’re not doing anything until I feed you.” My stomach lets out a loud growl in agreement.

  “Okay,” I agree. Jonas smiles, thinking he’s won. And maybe he has.

  Chapter 15

  Jonas

  Hot food is at our suite door almost before we arrive.

  “The people who work here are efficient,” Darby notes as she takes a seat at the table that was just rolled in.

  “Gran would not tolerate anything less. Come here, Jax. Have some more carrots.” Jax shoves a handful of the little orange discs in his hand and smiles toothily at me. I brush a hand over his thick hair and pull his small body closer to mine.

  “You’re really good with him,” Darby says. She eyes me with a bit of suspicion.

  “My sister has a five-year-old. I’ve been changing her diapers since she was a wee one.”

  “Oh.”

  It’s a short sound but loaded with disappointment. Melody is another thing Darby can’t recall. I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’ve let my anger go. Now I feel sadness. For nearly three years she’s been alone. Melody hates it when her husband is gone, telling me that taking care of a five-year-old is difficult by herself. It’s why I go over there frequently when her husband has to work an extra shift, particularly at night. Darby had no one. There was only one person who got up in the middle of the night to feed Jax or change his diaper. There was only one person who soothed Jax when he was upset or disciplined him when he was bad. She would have had a rough time of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have punched Luca Ward so hard. I’ll have to send him a box of cigars by way of apology. First, though, I need to help Darby out. I need to fill in her gaps so she doesn’t feel so clueless and left out.

  “Melody’s husband, Dean, used to work security here. He and Melody fell in love and because he’s a decent guy, he quit and got a job running security at a high end shopping center. It’s where you can buy your wedding dress.”

  “I’m not marrying you today,” Darby interrupts but I can tell by the bright sparks in her eyes she wants me to continue. I also note that she qualified her statement with the word “today,” meaning she’ll be ready to marry me at some point. Unfortunately for her, that some point is today, but I’ll deal with that when the priest gets here.

  “I’ve offered Dean his job back with a promotion and a raise, but he won’t take it, which is a point in his favor. Another point in his favor is that he isn’t a hard-ass about Melody’s money. She can spend it on her family and he doesn’t feel like his dick gets smaller just because her bank account is fatter. Another point in his favor. He’s generally a decent guy who plays a mean game of pickup basketball. You liked him.”

  Darby forks some of the pancake into her mouth. “Did your sister and I get along?”

  “Yup. She told me I’d be a fool if I let you go.”

  And I did, sort of. I jostle Jax a little to disguise my unease. “Have some tofu, Jackers. It’s good for you.”

  Darby makes another sound. I jerk my head up to see a rueful smile tilt the corners of her lips up.

  “Jackers is what I call him, too.”

  “Jax is a good name.” We’d talked about the name Jack but Jax is better, I think. More unusual. Every kid is named Jack. I wipe my son’s hands clean and then his face. “You have a good name, little man.” I hold him up and bounce him lightly. He belches and then laughs at his accomplishment. I laugh, too, because how can you not?

  He pats my cheek and says, “Kiss.”

  I lean forward but he averts his face and points to his mother. “Kiss,” he repeats.

  Darby grows flustered and tries to reach for the boy. I hold him to the side. “You heard your son. He wants us to get married.”

  She blows a raspberry in my face. “He said kiss, not marriage.”

  “Kissing is for married people,” I declare piously. “Jax and I believe that physical contact between two people should be saved for marriage. Good thing that is happening today.”

  “We aren’t getting married.”

  I shake my head at Jax in mock dismay. “Your mom wants to turn me into a scarlet man. That’s from a dumb book I hope you never have to read, but basically a character gets a letter branded onto their forehead for being loose. You wouldn’t want that for your old man, would you?”

  Jax solemnly moves his head back and forth. “Loose,” he repeats and traces his finger over my forehead. Then he points to his mom again. “Kiss.”

  “I want to, son. Let me tell you that I want to lay my mouth against your momma’s lips and I’m not talking about the ones on her face.”

  “Jonas!” Darby shouts.

  “What?” I blink at her with as much innocence as a thirty-three-year-old person can muster which is not much because I have done some filthy things with her. Things that make me hot and hard just at the memory. I shift Jax higher in my arms so he doesn’t accidentally kick my newly formed wood.

  “Little pitchers have big ears.” She taps her ears with the tips of her fingers.

  “I know, and I can teach him way worse things every minute we’re not married.”

  “Are you blackmailing me with my own kid?”

  “I could be. I don’t have a lot of shame here. I want you in my life and…” I trail off because Jax is looking at me in great interest and there are some things I think he should wait until he�
��s like eight or nine before he starts spouting them off to strangers. I know how it goes. Ronnie’s mouth can be a terror at times.

  I get to my feet and carry Jax into the bedroom for some reading time. Hopefully it will put him to sleep and then I can show Darby that marrying me sooner rather than later will be best for her mental health because I know damn well she’s not immune to me. Her body tells me all that I need to know. She wants to fuck as badly as I do. I plan to use that against her because, yes, I’ll play dirty over this. It’s too important not to.

  Chapter 16

  Darby

  I sit at the table staring at the doors Jonas left out of with Jax. I’ve heard Jax giggle a few times. I fight getting up and going in there to see what they are doing. I want to give them some time together. They need it. Hell, I need a minute to myself to get my crap together. My mind can’t keep up with everything. A switch has been flipped and gone is the asshole that had his moments of niceness and left is nothing but a man that is too charming for my own good. I could see why I was once in love with him.

  My hand goes to my chest when I feel a flutter there. Love. Could I love someone I don’t remember? Is that why I’ve been so drawn to him? So hurt by some of the things he’s said? If he meant nothing to me why had it stung so bad? Why had I so easily left with him? I’d let him hold me while I slept. My mind may not know him but there has to be some part of me that does. I’ve never had this reaction to anyone else. The door opens and I turn my head to pretend I wasn't staring it down.

  “He’s asleep. He always crash like that?” Jonas walks toward me. He’s so handsome. But I can tell that the last forty-eight hours have taken their toll on him. I’d only considered what I was going through, not taking into account that this is a lot for him.

  “When he gets to cuddling he’s normally out a few minutes later.”

  “So he’s like his mama.” I gasp when Jonas lifts me from the chair. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me over to a sofa, where he sits down with me in his lap. Something about this seems familiar, as though we’ve done this same exact thing thousands of times before.

  “I’m a cuddler?” I know Jax and I cuddle all the time. I let him sleep in bed with me more often than I should. We usually fall asleep together as we watch a movie. I’m excited to see how the three of us will fit together. More than anything, it warms my heart that Jax has someone else in his life to love him besides me. My little angel deserves that and so much more.

  “I turned you into one.” His nose rubs along my neck. He sucks in a deep breath, breathing me in. My whole body starts to tingle. My nipples grow hard. Yeah, I’m pretty sure my body knows him. It’s waking up from a very long slumber. “I used to fall asleep wrapped around you. Couldn't help myself.” He kisses my neck. His hand digs into my hips. “You’ve gotten fuller. I like it.” I laugh. From the look in his eyes I know he’s not joking. The desire for me is written all over his face.

  “Has a lot about me changed?” I still wonder what makes a man like Jonas fall for someone like me. He said I was alone in the world. I clearly didn't live up to whatever standards his grandmother had in mind. In my defense, I don’t think anyone could live up to her standards.

  “No. I wish I could have seen your body change. To see you round with my baby. That I could’ve been there for it all.”

  “I’m sorry.” I know it’s not my fault but I’m sorry he missed it, too.

  “I’ll get to see the next one.” He pulls me more into him, letting me know I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to.

  “You don’t like me and you don’t believe me,” I remind him, tilting my head to give him more room. “You thought I ran from you. Did I have a reason to run from you, Jonas?” He didn’t answer any of my questions the other night.

  “I didn't think you did, but maybe I wasn't as good at protecting you from my family as I should have been.” I can hear regret in his voice. If what he said is true then I wasn't the only one who lost something that day. I’ll never understand why someone would go to such great lengths to keep us apart. It’s almost unimaginable.

  “Did you love me, Jonas?” I ask, thinking I already knew that answer to the question. He was not only angry when he saw me but hurt.

  “Yes. I will always love you. Even before I pieced together what I think happened I was going to marry you. I didn't care why you ran from me. I just knew I wasn't going to let it happen again.”

  His words should scare me but I find that his possessive tone only turns me on more. For so long I’d thought I was all alone. Now here is this man willing to do anything to have me even if I’d done something bad. He doesn't care. He just wants me. I turn in his lap, straddling him. His hand slips under my shirt and up my back.

  “I’ve stalked you,” I admit. His fingers find my bra. In one snap he pops it open.

  “Keep going.” He smirks. My breath catches as my mind grabs ahold of something. Flashes of Jonas giving me that same smile slide through my mind.

  “I would see you in magazines.” His thumb slides across my nipple. I arch into his touch, biting my lip. His hand feels so good against my skin. Everything that I thought was missing starts sliding back into place. Although the memories may not be clear, at this moment, I know that I love him. That I’ve always loved him.

  “We hate the magazines,” he reminds me. “They make shit up.”

  “So you weren't on a yacht not that long ago having the time of your life?” I arch an eyebrow at him, waiting for his reply. My mind screams no. That Jonas would never be happy doing such a thing. I don’t know how I know but I do. Another thing that clicks back into place.

  “My life ended the day I thought I lost you.” My eyes lock with his. “I’ve merely existed. Going through the motions to try to get through each day. I would never move on from you, Darby. I told you that the day I asked you to marry me. It is you or no one for me. I meant those words.” My eyes burn with tears. “Don’t cry. You know it kills me when you cry.” I do know that.

  “Kiss me.” I barely get the words past my lips and his mouth is on mine as it all comes flooding back.

  Chapter 17

  Jonas

  I ravage her mouth, trying to make up for the past three years in one kiss. I nip at her lips, soothe the bites with sweeps of my tongue. My hands pull at her shirt. I need it off. I need her skin touching mine, her softness melting into my hardness. My cock throbs angrily and anxiously in my pants.

  “Touch me like you used to,” she gasps when we separate long enough to pull her shirt over her head.

  I freeze.

  Touch me like you use to?

  “What’s wrong?” She pulls me down, wriggling her lithe body to get closer.

  “You remember?” I cup her face.

  She makes a face, her adorable nose wrinkling and her eyes half closing. “Do we have to talk about this now? I’m dying here.”

  Okay, so am I, but this seems pretty damn important. “What do you remember?”

  “All of it. All of it, baby.” She smooths a hand down my cheek. “I didn’t run away. I wouldn’t run away from you. I love you, Jonas.”

  Relief floods me. “I love you, too.”

  “Good. Let’s have sex then. I’m horny. It’s been three years.”

  The laugh that erupts from my chest is one that I’ve never experienced before. It’s part relief, part pure joy, and part unrelieved lust. “Three years for me, too.”

  “I never doubted you.” Her eyes sparkle and her hand dips down to grab me. “We can talk about all that later, but, right now, I want you inside of me.”

  “Say no more.” I rip at her clothes, literally. Her pants tear in my rush to get her naked. Pants, socks, underwear, shirts go flying, and soon we’re skin to skin. I trail my mouth down the column of her neck, kiss the hollow of her collarbone, and latch on to one hard nipple. Her fingers thread through my hair. The light nail scratches against my scalp send shivers down my spine. I can’t believe she’s
back in my arms. I probably cling too hard. My kisses are too harsh. My hands are too rough, but this is a second chance I never thought I would have and I can’t slow down.

  I remember that the underside of her breasts are sensitive. I pay extra close attention there. She likes touches against her wrist. I rub a thumb along the vein as I suck on her tit and am rewarded with a long, happy sigh. I move lower, dipping my tongue into her belly button before greeting her pussy.

  She’s soaked. The insides of her thighs glisten. I lap at the moisture, not wanting to waste a single drop of her essence. She parts her legs but I shove them wider, hooking a knee over each shoulder. With two hands under her ass, I bring her sex to my mouth.

  She throws back her head, arching her back like some kind of wild siren on the sea. Her cunt tastes like a goddess’ nectar—tangy and sweet and mine.

  “I love you. I’m sorry,” she gasps. “I’m sorry I forgot.”

  My heart clenches. I draw back so I can wipe at her wet eyes. “Baby, don’t. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I shouldn’t have.”

  “I should’ve found you.”

  “No. It’s—“

  I cut her off with my mouth. There’s no point in going backward. No point in pointing fingers and parceling out blame. What matters is that we’re together now and nothing will separate us. I kiss her again until the salty stream of tears stop and are replaced with shallow panting gasps. Then I return to her cunt so I can eat at her until she’s shaking and the heels of her feet bang against my back. She writhes in my grasp, trying to escape my marauding tongue when she grows ultra-sensitive, but I don’t give in. I know I can push her to a higher level of pleasure. I want her mindless, begging for me. Once my cock is inside of her, I won’t be able to stop. She makes high-pitched incoherent noises which I take as encouragement. Using my tongue and teeth, I drink at her fountain until I can’t wait another moment.