Beloved Destiny

by carol fears

  Carina couldn't resist listening for a few moments more. How exciting it was to be the subject of discussion between Mama and Papa. Even more so since they didn't know that she was listening. She was sure Papa would never agree to her marrying so young.

  "I say we need to throw the two of them together. We should take Carina with us to visit the Prewitts as soon as the spring planting is done. I'm just sure that being around each other, eating dinner at the same table and attending the same parties will allow an affection to develop between them. I thought Carina and I could stay for a month, although I know that you will need to return sooner to see to the farm. You can take along a horse for yourself and ride back after a week, while we will return later in the carriage. That should be long enough for the young people to become well acquainted. I can also have a private chat with Lettie Prewitt to see if she approves of the match. I feel sure she will be favorably inclined; after all we would be combining our families and our fortunes. What do you think of my little scheme, Thomas dear?"

  "Oh, my, you have been doing a lot of thinking since those two young men arrived, haven't you, Minnie? And I can see that your womanly machinations will not be deterred, so my only choice is to submit as any reasonable husband would. If you deem Carina to be of an age to enter into marriage then I daresay young Joshua seems to be a fine candidate. I would be proud to have him in our family. But could the wedding not wait until she is turned eighteen? Give me some time to get used to the idea." Papa's footfalls were coming toward the door. She had better leave before her eavesdropping was discovered.

  As she entered her own bedroom, Carina curled her fingers into fists, irritated beyond belief that she was going to have no voice in this matter. Were they even planning to ask her what she thought about it? Of course, she couldn't let them know what she had heard, that would be much too embarrassing. She would just have to act as if she knew nothing about their plans. She would not marry Joshua just because her parents thought him a good match! Removing her calfskin slippers and peeling off her lacy stockings, Carina entered her dressing room to find a wrapper to put on for her nap. Pulling off her dress, she stepped out of it, flinging it into a corner. Grabbing a soft, gauzy lawn dressing gown she shrugged it on and tied the sash with a jerk. She was not usually temperamental, but all this talk of marriage made her angry and not a little afraid. She couldn't imagine leaving her mama and papa, as well as the beloved servants who had known her since she was a baby. This was her home, and here she would stay! She lay down on the feather bed, soothed by the cool breezes floating in through the open windows. She drifted to sleep thinking of her colt and dreamed about how glad he always was to see her in the morning.

  When Carina awoke dusk was falling, and she saw that Mary had been in to light the lamps. The oil lamps cast a golden glow on the walls, making her room look completely different now that the brilliance of the day had faded. At night, the room wrapped her in soothing warmth, touching her brass bed with golden light, leaving little dim areas in the corners. Entering her dressing room to find a gown to wear for dinner, Carina saw that Mary had also picked up her blue dress and put it away carefully. Dear Mary, she takes such good care of me, Carina thought. Running her hand against the rustling fabric of her gowns, she stopped at her least favorite; a drab brown gown of mottled taffeta. Joshua probably wouldn't be interested in her if she made herself as unattractive as possible. The brown of the dress certainly didn't compliment her auburn tresses. She would wear no jewelry, nor would she adorn her hair. Dressing quickly, for now she feared she would be late to dinner, Carina rushed down the hall and descended the stairs. She heard someone speaking in the foyer at the bottom of the stairs, recognizing Joshua and William's voices. She was horrified when her foot missed the last step. She went flying off the step to sit abruptly on the marble floor. Shocked, she just sat there, thankful that her dress hadn't flown up to expose her petticoats. The young men stared, momentarily uncertain of exactly what to do to assist her. Finally William stepped forward, took her left hand, signaled Joshua to take her right, and they helped her gently to her feet. Her face was blazing red with humiliation. Carina shook herself, bowed to the men and then marched off toward the dining room. She couldn't find her voice, too embarrassed by her ridiculous faux pas to speak.

  Entering the dining room, Carina saw that Mama had decided to use all the best china and crystal, as well as the lace tablecloth usually reserved for her most important guests. Yes, dear Mama was certainly scheming.

  "Ah, there you are, my darling girl." Papa took her hand and led her to her seat.

  Mama was already seated, resplendent in beads and feathers. She had changed into a magnificent gown of azure blue that played up her blue-green eyes. White egret feathers swept down from her artfully constructed hair-do to brush her shoulders. Her gaze swept Carina, a small frown appearing on her forehead. Narrowing her eyes, she took in Carina's drab gown as well as her complete lack of adornment. The girl is too clever for her own good, Mama thought. Had she somehow gotten wind of their plans for her? Surely if she was reasonable her daughter would see what a wonderful opportunity this marriage would be for her.

  Papa poured sherry into his guests' glasses, as they all gathered around the table. Jared entered with a large platter on which lay a magnificent bass, surrounded by a bed of greens and rice. The iridescent sheen of the fish glowed in the light of a magnificent chandelier lit by flickering candles. Murmurs of appreciation went around the table. The fish was served and for awhile no conversation took place as the delicious dish was sampled.

  "This is the most deliciously prepared meal I believe I have ever enjoyed." William looked toward Mrs. Blanchett. "You must have an excellent cook."

  "That's our Mary. Her mama was cook to Governor Wilson. She taught Mary everything she knows about food preparation. We are very proud to have her here to prepare these wonderful dishes for us." Mama blotted at her mouth delicately with her linen napkin.

  "I should say so; such a treasure is rarely to be found. You may need to look out that someone doesn't try to steal her away from you." Joshua laughed, winking at William to show he spoke in jest. "Our cook Annabelle is very good, but I don't believe she could hold a candle to your Mary." Joshua continued eating for a few moments, then asked "Mr. Blanchett, I do believe that when I left home my father told me to be sure to ask you about your herd of dairy cattle. He was most interested in your work to improve the breeding of the native piney woods scrub cattle. I daresay that at some point he might just give up manufacturing for the life of a gentleman farmer. Father has always had a keen interest in the workings of a farm. Of course, with cotton being so profitable now, I'm sure you have most of your holdings set aside for that crop."

  "Yes, indeed, Joshua, tomorrow we will ride over to the south pasture and I will show you the herd. I am considerably proud of it. When I started working on this herd, we had scrawny, poorly muscled cattle that roamed in the woods feeding on whatever they could find. For generations those animals have been left to deteriorate into herds that are of use to no one. Poor milk, low quality meat and leather hardly fit to work with were the result of such neglect. Most of the planters here in Mississippi have no interest in cattle; all their land is given over to planting cotton. Certainly cotton is the money crop, but I feel that farms nowadays should be more diversified. If a failed cotton crop caused complete disaster in the state we would only have ourselves to blame. And there are certainly some weaknesses in the characteristics of the plant. I am presently working on improvements to the cotton that we plant here. In this age of science there are marvelous new developments that a man can use to his advantage to turn the animal and vegetable kingdoms to his will."

  "Now, gentlemen, that is enough talk about farm work and cattle. We ladies want to know about all the parties that are going on this season as well as who is courting whom. Those topics are of much more interest to us than those old cows." Mama made a face and then laughed lightly to show that she was teasing.
"I am going to send out invitations tomorrow for a party here on Wednesday to introduce both of you to the neighbors. We have been much too dull around here lately. Why I don't believe we have even been to visit our neighbors to the east of us since Christmas and here it is the end of January already."

  "That is too kind of you, Ma'am. We would love to meet the nice folk hereabouts, notwithstanding that will give me a chance to dance with Miss Carina." William tipped his head toward Carina and then brought his gaze level with hers, his blue eyes warm and hopeful. Carina felt her face go warm, realizing to her chagrin that she was blushing.

  "Oh, yes, that will be grand," agreed Joshua, although his enthusiasm was not as great as William's appeared to be.

  The men excused themselves after dinner to retire to Papa's lounge. Mama and Carina stepped into the parlor to pick up their needlework. When they had seated themselves comfortably, picking up needle and thread, Mama looked up at Carina and remarked "I didn't know that you had such a fondness for that brown dress that you would wear it when we have guests, Carina. It makes you look like a mud-hen. And I am sure Papa and I have gifted you with enough suitable jewelry that you could find something appropriate for company. Why, one would almost think that you were trying to make yourself look unattractive, although I cannot imagine what for."

  Carina's face flamed scarlet as her mother's words made her realize that she hadn't been as clever as she thought she was. Mama had the canny wisdom of all mothers, and knew well enough when her daughter was trying to hide something. "Oh, Mama, I am sorry that you think I would do such a thing purposefully. It is just that after I awoke from my nap I was a bit lethargic so that I may have made a poor choice of attire. I'll be more careful in the future."

  "I am so glad that we understand each other, my dear. Papa and I would be crushed if you were taken to be some dowdy farm girl by these young men. Why can you imagine our humiliation if word reached our friends back in Natchez that we couldn't afford to dress our only daughter in style?" Mama looked up, but did not smile, as she let her words find their mark. She didn't intend for her daughter to mistake her meaning.

  Now Carina felt thoroughly chastened and also as transparent as a six-year-old child that her mother had seen through her little plan so quickly. A quick welling of tears sprang to her eyes at the thought of Mama and Papa suffering humiliation because of her. She vowed to never again use guile to try to get her way. Mama and Papa probably knew what was best for her, although she still didn't intend to marry Joshua. She could dress nicely and make herself pretty without committing herself to wedlock. Now that she thought more deeply about the matter, Joshua didn't really show much interest in her, anyway. It seemed to her that whenever she looked up from her plate at dinner, it was always William who was gazing admiringly in her direction. William, she thought wistfully, surely is a handsome man. Thinking of what it would feel like to touch his fine golden hair made her feel a little weak. She realized with a start that she had been sitting for some time with her needle in one hand, fabric in the other, without so much as making a stitch. Mama would be wondering what was wrong with her if she didn't stop this wool-gathering.

  The next three days passed in a whirlwind of activity involving preparations for the party. Mama met with Mary several times a day to discuss the food and wine that would be served. The house maids were kept busy polishing silver, waxing chairs and tables, cleaning the crystal chandeliers and doing up the linens for the table. The maid-servants who took care of Mama and Carina's gowns were busy crimping and ironing ruffles. Carina didn't see much of Joshua and William except at dinner in the evenings, as Papa had been escorting them around the county during the day to meet with some of the other planters.

  On the evening of the party, carriages began depositing guests at the door at the appointed hour. As far as Carina could tell, everyone who had been invited was there. Mama would be so happy. She had been worried that some of the invitees would not be able to attend on such short notice. Carina knew that no one would miss one of Mama's parties unless they were on their sickbed. Mama always hired a fiddler from the next county who could make sure everyone had a fine time when the dancing started. His repertoire of dance tunes seemed endless. The older folk dropped into their chairs after the first few dances, leaving the floor to the younger set with more stamina. Carina stationed herself at the top of the staircase so that she could see who was arriving. She had several good friends among the local girls and was eager to see them. She was anxious to see what gowns they were wearing, comparing them to her own costume, and hoping that hers would be the prettiest. Of course, everybody would be in their finest tonight.

  Anxious to make amends to Mama for the incident with the brown dress, Carina had her maid press her finest gown. It was a peacock blue brocade with white ruching at the bust, and a skirt that was pinned up in festoons which allowed an underskirt of silver to show. Her shoes were silver with spool heels which made her look a little taller, she hoped, as well as older than she was. Delia, her maid had pulled her luxurious auburn hair up in a cascade on the top of her head with ringlets hanging down to touch her shoulders. Finally a silver ornament was placed in her hair, a bird made with astonishing detail. Each feather was perfectly made by a skilled silversmith and a sapphire served as the bird's eye. Otherwise, her only adornment was a necklace of pearls and small earbobs which had been given to her by her grandmother on her first birthday. Mama insisted that pearls were the only jewels a young girl should wear, to symbolize her purity. These pearls were of the finest quality, brought to this country by the captain of a sailing ship who, it is said, fought with naked savages in the eastern islands to obtain them. The soft sheen of the snowy pearls was the perfect accent to Carina's lovely complexion. Carina thought she had never looked so elegant and found herself hoping that William would ask her to dance.

  Mama and Papa came from their rooms to take her by the hand and escort her down the staircase to greet their guests. The ladies were all glittering like jewels in their finery, with the gentlemen providing a more somber counterpoint in black and white. Carina glimpsed several of her friends, planters' daughters who were also resplendent in their finest gowns. Just as Carina got to the bottom of the stairs, one of her friends walked over to greet her and the two young ladies joined arms before entering the ballroom. They passed small talk with several of their young neighbors, whiling away the time until dinner was served. Strolling gracefully around the room, the young women were there intending to see and to be seen.

  Jared, Papa's manservant, opened the doors into the dining room to announce dinner. The guests entered, taking their appointed seats. Carina found herself sitting between Auntie Gresham, not a real aunt, but close friend of the family to whom the intimate term of aunt was given as a mark of respect and esteem. On her other side Joshua sat carrying on a conversation with a young man to his left. They seemed quite engrossed in their discussion, so much so that Joshua did not include her in their talk. She was forced to make do with the elderly lady, although the conversation seemed to consist almost entirely of Auntie's concerns in regard to her housecat's diet. Unfortunately, the subject did not enhance Carina's appetite, so that she had to force herself to nibble a bit of this and that lest she appear rude. The endless dinner hour finally dragged on to its end and the fiddler began to play; an invitation to the assemblage to take to the dance floor.

  Carina stood up, noting that Joshua had finally broken off his conversation with the other dinner guest long enough to pull out her chair. "May I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Carina?" he asked with a small bow. Nodding her assent, she allowed herself to be led onto the dance floor.

  Although not an accomplished dancer, Joshua proved to be adequate as a partner in the waltz, if not as a conversationalist. He looked over her head as they danced, as if he were scanning the crowd for someone else. Well, if there was another lady that he preferred, she certainly hoped that he went to her as soon as this dance was over. She was not accustomed
to being ignored and most certainly was not enjoying it. The dance ended. Joshua bowed, Carina curtsied and they parted.

  Carina's dearest friend, Lavinia met her as she walked off the dance floor demanding to know who her devilishly handsome dance partner could be. "Oh, that is Joshua Prewitt, the son of one of Papa's old friends. They are from Natchez. He and his friend, William Porter, are staying with us for a week or two. They have just come down from school and are doing a bit of traveling.

  "Oh, yes, I have heard of the Prewitts and I knew that they had a son, but I didn't know he was so handsome. I can assure you that now that I do know it, I just have to get him to ask me to dance. Carina, you must introduce us right away. All the other men are so countrified, you know. We so seldom meet anyone from the city. Don't you feel as if we are cut off from society by living all the way out here in the country? Why I sometimes think it takes months for the newest fashions to finally make their way here while the rest of society is dressed in style." Lavinia was a sweet girl, but she did have a tendency to rattle on, thought Carina.

  "Of course, I would love to introduce you." Carina took Lavinia's arm as they started across the room.

  Joshua was standing near the punch bowl, chatting with Mr. Blanchett. As the girls approached, Carina's father opened his arms to them both, obviously delighted to see them. "Just look at our beautiful belles. It does my heart good to see such beauty, such freshness here tonight. What do you think, Joshua, are these not some of the loveliest flowers you have ever seen?" Mr. Blanchett turned to Joshua, who gave a little bow.

  "Sir, those were my thoughts exactly. Never have I seen such lovely ladies as I have seen here tonight. The very ideal of southern womanhood is indeed present among us." Joshua seemed to have found his tongue easily enough now that Lavinia was here.