by Ava Danielle
“Sometimes, I wish it was a movie and not our life.” I say to her. “How boring would that be, Mom?” we both burst out laughing. “Brandon is going to come over in a bit, you won’t believe this, but Benjamin’s mom is back, so Brandon will be spending the night alone. Is that ok with you?” I slowly ease in to this conversation.
“Mom, it’s ok. I’ve gotten used to the idea now. Just because dad is alive, things aren’t going to change. I’m happy for you, and as long as Brandon makes you happy, it’s all ok in my book.”
When did she become such a bright and sensitive young lady? “Thanks. You girls have been such a great help through all this. I’d be lost without you,” she smiles.
We sit and talk for a while longer, I send her on her merry way to finish her homework. It’s all going smooth again, finally. It’s been forever.
I close my eyes for a few and enjoy listening to the wind around me. I must’ve dozed off, because the next thing I know, I’m waking up to lips against mine. My eyes fluttering open, “Hey gorgeous,” his beautiful lips say against my mouth. “Oh shit, I must’ve dozed off for a minute.” He just smiles.
“It’s understandable, babe,” he sits down next to me.
“How are you feeling?”
I answer honestly, “Like a friggin tow truck ran over me.”
It’s true. My body is starting to give out. I smile at him,
“How is life with the ex?” and he rolls his eye.
“She is driving me crazy. She keeps apologizing for up and leaving. She was pressured by jack ass to divorce me, blah blah blah. I really don’t give a shit about her excuses, they are bullshit.” I just shake my head. How in the fuck did we get here? “I missed you, babe.” I say, sleepily. “I missed you, too, what do you say we lie down in bed and try to sleep?”
As I’m about to answer, his phone goes off. He looks down and reads, then blurts out, “oh FUCK YOU!” I clear my throat. “Umm?” “Sorry, honey, not you. Sophia texted me.” Well, that’s not surprising. “The laundry detergent goes on the bottom shelf. And to never ever ever fold Benjamin’s shirts like that again, they will wrinkle. Some kind of bullshit. I don’t even fucking care anymore.” As soon as he puts it up, it buzzes again. “Now what?” I raise my eyebrows. “To think about what she said and our future”
I laugh, “Your future with her or me?”
He throws his phone in his bag and says, “You don’t need me to answer that.”
I get up as his phone buzzes in his bag. He pulls it over his shoulder as he follows me into the house. He drops his bag, pins me against the wall, and leans into me. “I love you, Addison Walker, I love you with all of this,” as he points toward his heart in his chest, “It’s yours and only yours. I need you to know, nothing Sophia tries to do to will change that.” I smile and lean in to him “And I, Addison Walker, love YOU, Brandon Donavon,” and kiss him so hard. Mesmerizing me as we kiss. I see the love in his eyes. Completely.
Our make out session kept being interrupted by the ringing of his phone, under my breath I curse Sophia. I know it’s her, there’s no doubt in my mind. “Answer it,” I tell him as I walk away and up the stairs. I hear him huffing, and inside I’m laughing. There’s not much more I can do.
I go into the master bathroom and start to take my clothes off. I’m standing there in my black lace bra and matching panties. “That’s a sight I could stare at for a lifetime,” Brandon states as he walks up behind me. He puts his hands on my hips, and looks at my entire body through the mirror. Admiring me. “There’s something wrong with this picture” I say. He raises an eyebrow, that crooked kind of way he likes to do, “Oh yeah?” My smile grows wider, “You’re still in your clothes.” I say as I pull my hair out of my ponytail and let it fall down. “Woman, you drive me mad,” he says as I walk away and into the bedroom. I leave him standing in the bathroom. I hear him growling, rustling. He walks out in nothing but his boxers. Fuck, he’s sexy. A stunning example of a man. He raises his arm on the door frame as he watches me lick and bite my lips. “You better come to this bed and show me what your body can do to me.” I smile as I slide onto the bed and make myself comfortable and as sexy as possible. “My fucking pleasure,” he says in his most raunchy voice.
We make love, over and over. I’m wrapped around his fingers, one hundred percent.
Chapter 23
Last night was terrible. Sophia wouldn’t stop texting, she even called a few times, and the majority was using Benjamin for whatever problem she was having. That girl is a problem. She’s trying to see how strong our relationship is, testing every limit, too bad for her, we’re doing just great. As the phone would buzz, he’d cuddle up closer to me, he’d nuzzle into me, and tell me how much he loves being around me. If anything, she’s pushing him into me more and more.
“Baby, wake up,” I kiss his cheek. He pulls me into him. “I don’t wanna,” he whines. I laugh, “I know. Did you even get any sleep?” I lie my head on his chest, his hands are going through my hair. “As much as I could with the fucking phone going off every few minutes. Fuck, did she even sleep any?”
I laugh. “Right?”
We both laid there for a while. “She’s testing us, Brandon.”
He grabs my hands into his. “She can try. I know where I belong.”
That’s when I kiss his fingers, one after the other, “And where is that?” He kisses the top of my head, “Here. With You.”
The kids are off to school, and we enjoy a few more minutes of peace before we have to start our day. “I’m going to go see a lawyer today,” I say in between chewing on my bagel. “About?” he asks as he takes a drink of his coffee. “About a divorce. Bad timing, I know, but I don’t see the point of waiting. I’m also going to go see Michael in the hospital. Maybe he is more awake to explain his actions.”
I take another bite of my bagel.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Brandon asks.
“No, but if things get out of hand, expect a phone call,” I say with a wink.
“Only if I can call you when shit hits the fan with Sophia.”
I smile at him, shaking my head. “That’s expected babe, especially after last night. You have fun with that,” I say sticking my tongue out at him.
“Naughty girl,” he bites into his bagel.
We finish eating breakfast, straighten up some, and get ready for the day. “Hey Brandon!” I say yelling out from the bathroom to the bedroom, Brandon is getting dressed as I’m brushing my hair, he walks into the bathroom,
“Yes Babe.” I look in to the mirror to see him,
“Never mind.” I say, secretly nervous as to what I’m thinking. “Don’t never mind me, what were you going to say?”
I swallow, this isn’t really the time for this conversation, but it is playing on my mind.
“Is Sophia going to be living with you?”
His eyes get big, “I hadn’t even thought about where she’s going to live. I wanted to give her an opportunity to get to know and enjoy Benjamin.”
Completely understandable, I think.
His phone goes off, yet again. “Fuck. Let me answer that,” he goes around the bed to the nightstand. His tone is a bit terrifying, for the person on the other line. “What?” he yells. “No, I don’t care. So. You’ve got to be kidding me. How fucking old are you? No. And if? Yes. Madly. Yes. Whatever. I don’t care if you think I have an attitude or not. In a little while. Is he in school? What do you mean you didn’t get him off to school. Same question again, how fucking old are you? Yeah, bye,” and he tosses the phone down on the bed.
Growling. “What the hell is wrong with that woman?”
I finish putting my hair in curls and head over to him, wrap my arms around him, “Guess what?,” he looks down at me, smiling. How quickly he can change his demeanor, “What sweetness?” He keeps changing his little nicknames for me, it’s the cutest thing. Fuck, how old am I? Never too old for those kind of names, I think.
“I love you!” I
sneak a kiss on his lips, and walk out of the room.
We both say our goodbyes in the driveway as we head off to our own fun filled day.
I drive downtown, time to see Peters & Peters Law Firm. I went to school with Jeremy Peters. Well, I say went to school, it was a little more than that. We kind of dated. Just kind of, not very long.
I walk into the office to greet the secretary, “Hi, I’m Mrs. Walker, I have an appointment with Jeremy Peters regarding a divorce,” I say.
Well, I just put it out there for the first time.
“He’s expecting you, down the hall, second door on your left.” I smile and thank her.
As I’m walking down, I see that my pencil skirt looks decent, and my blouse isn’t showing too much cleavage. A knock on the door, a “Come in” later, and I’m in his office. “Addison!” he walks around the desk and hugs me. “It’s so nice to see you after, well, how many years has it been, ten?” I smile at him, “Something like that.” “Sit down, you’ve told me a couple of things over the phone. Tragic. How are you holding up?”
I look at all the pictures on his desk, “As good as expected I guess.”
“Well, I’ve drawn up the paper work, given recent occurrences; this won’t be a long process. Sign here on this form, and here, and we’ll go from there.”
I sign my life away it seems.
“Would it be possible to hold off until he’s out of the hospital? Just to make sure there aren’t further health complications!” I say to him looking up in between signing.
“Of course.”
We discuss the process a bit further, and then reminisce about the old times. “You know, if you would’ve taken your nose out of those books just once, we might have had a longer relationship.” I laugh at him. “Well look at me now, owning my own bookstore,” I say as I stick my tongue out. I get out of the seat, “Thanks for everything, Jeremy. I better get going now. You should stop by one day, I have a coffee bar too, you don’t have to read a book,” I wink at him. He comes back around this massive mahogany desk, and hugs me tight. “I might just do that.” and kisses me on the cheek. “It was nice seeing you Addison, and good luck to you.”
I leave the office feeling refreshed and a bit less stressed out. This is another milestone to add. I feel good about it.
I drive to the hospital as a text comes in. I check, my best friend checking in on me.
Anything new I should know about?
Oh shit! I’m fucked. In all the madness and my rose colored glasses for Brandon, the only thought that consumes me during the day, I forgot to tell Kristina about Michael’s awakening. To top it all off, she doesn’t know about Sophia’s return either. This conversation is going to go over real well. I dial her number.
Hey Bitch!
Hi to you too Kris!
So I go to the elementary school, you know, since our kids go there, and see Emma in the hallway, she tells me about some woman named Sophia, Benjamin’s mom, being back. And then she’s all chipper about Michael being awake and I’m sitting here thinking, what the fuck? Emma can’t be making this shit up!
No, I laugh
Don’t you laugh at me, asshat. What’s going on? I need the scoop, NOW.
I’m going in to talk to Michael now, I just left Jeremy Peters,
Your ex? The lawyer?
Yep, the one and only. I had divorce papers drawn up
Damn Addison, that was quick
You expect me to keep putting it off? Would you have me wait until the girls are moved out?
eh, good point.
I’ll call you afterwards and tell you EVERYTHING.
I won’t hold my breath.
Bitch.
Bitch right back at ya, loves ya
Even when she’s mad, she’s not really mad. That’s the thing about best friends, there’s nothing you can do in their eyes that’s going to destroy anything. Well, maybe a few things. I enter the hospital, have I mentioned how I hate this place.
Once inside, I take the elevator back up to floor eight; I’m just ready to get out of here. I walk into the room, only to find an empty bed with a folded blanket.
I walk back out of the room to the nurses’ station. “Do you know where Michael Walker is? His room seems to be empty.” She swallows, “Are you Mrs. Walker?” I raise my eyebrows, “Yes, do you know where my husband is?” She starts to stutter. “Umm… wait… uh, let me, I’ll be right back,” and disappears to the back. What the hell? If something happened, why didn’t they notify me? What in the world is going on? I tap my fingers on the counter, louder, and louder. She comes back out, “I… uh, I will call Dr. Wallis for you.” I start to get upset, “Can’t you just tell me what happened? Why the hell is there such a big secret? Were there complications?” She stares at me as she holds the phone to her ear, “Yes, Dr. Wallis, this is Nurse Sandy, I have Mrs. Walker here. Yes, I will send her down, thank you.” I look at her in disbelief, “Send me down where?”
Chapter 24
I was sent to the fifth floor. No one will tell me why I’m going to the fifth floor and I’m starting to worry here. The elevator doors open and I’m swarmed by people. I get to the nurses’ station, “I’m looking for Michael Walker.”
When the nurse smiles at me, “Ah, yes, Nurse Sandy has mentioned that. He’s in room 124. Down this hallway” she points to my left, “and it’s the fourth door to your right.” I smile at her as I walk away, “Thank you.”
This is beyond strange.
I walk down the hall, I look in the rooms with open doors and admire the life I see. I get to Michael’s door, one quick knock, and I walk in. Michael is lying in bed watching TV. “Hey,” I say as I enter. He turns the TV off, and smiles at me. “Hey You, it’s nice to see a familiar face.” I walk up to kiss him on the cheek, “So they gave me a scare up there, I asked for you and they made a big deal out of you leaving the room.” He chuckles, “I didn’t need to be in ICU anymore, so they moved me down here,” he says. “Aah, now that makes sense. So, how are you feeling?”
I pull a chair from the corner over to sit next to him. “I’m a lot better. My body is sore as fuck, but I guess that’s a given.”
I raise my eyes at him, “I suppose,” he takes my hand, as I pull away. “You’re still mad at me.” Getting a bit furious, “Of course I am. You storm into my house, you make a scene in front of the kids, and then just storm back out and I’m supposed to be alright with any of that? Did you at least once consider how this would make me feel?” I say as he growls at me.
“It’s always about you Addison.”
“What do you mean it’s all about me? We’ve discussed it, we separated, we were working on a plan, just because you have a little bit to drink and are pissy, you can’t just make a debacle and blow up. What does any of that have to do with me? You put OUR daughter in danger and you tell me it’s all about ME.” I roll my eyes. “Was that your way of fighting for me? Fighting for something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
He starts to get upset. “Doesn’t exist? What if it exists to me? What if my feelings for you are still as strong as ever?”
“And where were these feelings the past few years? Where were the kisses I wanted and needed, where was the touching, the hugging, is that supposed to just fade away, who’s to say that you can’t still feel in love after you’ve been in love for fifteen years?” He drops silent.
“Michael, I’ve been battling with this way before I ever met Brandon. I’ve told you so many times how I felt and you blew me off. You lived your life, I lived mine, and here and there we would have sex, but to be honest with you, it felt forced and unreal.” I look away as he laughs,
“Forced and unreal. Wow Addison.”
“No, Michael, not wow. If you had been listening to me over the years, you would know what I mean right now. You would understand me. It’s over, completely. And not because I love another man, but because you and I, there’s no connection, at least not like there once was.” He sighs.
�
�You’re going to be part of my life regardless; we have three beautiful girls together. We met really young and have so many memories, but I think we were both too young to know what we were getting into. We thought what we had was love. I want nothing more than for you to find that someone that will make you feel how I wanted you to make me feel. How I expected us to love. I have that love with Brandon, it’s a totally different love, it’s easier. And I hope you find that, so you know what I mean.” I grab his hand.
“It’s hard, Addison. To let you go. I wish I could change your mind somehow, but I understand. I’ve overreacted.” “Overreacted.” I start to laugh. “You nearly killed yourself and our daughter, almost making me a widow at 35.” I shake my head.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I hope you are.”
We sit quietly for a few minutes when I decide to tell him about the divorce, I don’t want him to be surprised or upset, so I figured a warning would be fair. “I went to see Jeremy Peters this morning.” I start out.
“Our friend and lawyer Jeremy Peters?” he says stunned.
“Yes.” I say. “I went to discuss the process of a divorce.” I look at him. Michael looks down at his bed, “I see.”
I swallow, “I don’t want you to be surprised when you receive the papers.” He’s still staring down at his bed, “I see.”
I start to get upset a little again, but I think I know what he’s feeling. “Is that all you can say?” and I realize that may not have been the right thing to say. “Yep, that’s all I can say.”
I try to come up with something else; communication has never been our strong suit. When things got complicated, we usually stopped talking or walked away. If I had said something sooner, or walked away sooner, we might have been divorced many years ago. I’m not regretting that decision or the one I’m making now. I do, however, regret never standing my ground and wanting what I have now, sooner.