The Secret Wife

by Susan Mallery

  “What’s important for Tiffany is that her mom is alive,” Cole continued. “She can tell herself she still has one parent, so she’s not a real orphan.”

  Cole had been a real orphan, Elissa remembered. And his dream of being adopted had never come true.

  They walked in silence for a couple of seconds, then Cole asked, “How did you know I was here?”

  “The orphanage newsletter. My sisters and I each get a copy. There was an article when you became the director.”

  He grunted in response. She wondered what he was thinking. Only people donating money received a copy of the newsletter. Did he think she was doing that out of concern, or maybe even out of guilt? She didn’t have the courage to ask, so she searched for a question that would make him squirm.

  “How did you know I was in Los Angeles?” she asked.

  “You’re my wife. It’s my business to know where you are.”

  “But not your business to stay in touch?”

  He ignored the question. “I don’t know why you’re here, Elissa, and I don’t want to know. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another employee. I expect you to do whatever Millie tells you. You’re to be here for the children and to stay out of trouble. Your social life takes a back seat to your work.”

  “My social life?” They’d reached the dining hall, but neither of them opened the door to step inside. “That’s quite an assumption. If I had one that was that interesting, I would hardly be willing to bury myself up here. Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”

  His forbidding expression said he didn’t believe her.

  “What’s your point?” she asked. “Are you accusing me of seeing another man?” If only that were true. If only she had been able to forget Cole enough to date someone else. But she hadn’t. Even if she’d been interested, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to pursue anything. Despite the nearly five-year separation, she considered herself a married woman.

  “Whatever else has been between us,” she said quietly, “I’m still your wife. I haven’t betrayed you.”

  “Of course you have.” He pulled open the door.

  A burst of laughter surrounded them, effectively ending the conversation. Elissa clenched her hands into tight fists, then stepped into the building. Cole might have thought he’d won that round, but if he figured he’d defeated her, he was wrong. Many things had changed in the time they’d been apart. For one thing, she’d grown up.

  “Over here!” Tiffany called. The preteen stood and waved.

  Cole let out an audible groan. Tiffany had saved two seats together.

  As they made their way across the room, Elissa glanced around. Children and employees ate together at round tables seating eight. Wide windows opened onto the grounds, letting in light and giving the room an open feel. A long buffet filled the far wall. A few children were in line, but most had already served themselves and found seats.

  At the front of the room was a small platform. Cole headed toward it. Elissa didn’t know if she should follow him or take her seat next to Tiffany.

  “I’m going to introduce you,” he said curtly. “You don’t have to say anything. Just stand where the kids can see you.”

  Voices faded as soon as he took his place. He smiled, a genuine smile, like the one he’d given Tiffany. Elissa wondered if she was ever going to see one aimed in her direction.

  “Evening, everyone,” he said.

  “Hi, Cole,” the children and adults answered as one.

  He made a couple of announcements about study hours and which movies would be rented for the weekend. Elissa used the time to glance around at the children.

  They were an eclectic group, ranging in age from five to seventeen. There were fifty-seven children in all, and a staff of eighteen, including herself. Cole was the director, Millie the office manager. Two couples lived on the premises permanently and eleven college students worked part-time. Some came in on afternoons and weekends, others worked a night shift that allowed them to have free room and board while providing supervision in the sleeping quarters.

  “Elissa is the newest member of our family,” he said and nodded to her.

  She smiled at the children.

  “She’s here to assist Millie in the office and to fill in anywhere she’s needed. However, Elissa’s only going to be with us for a couple of months.”

  She didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying—she was too furious. Bad enough that he accused her of betraying him, now he was telling the children she wasn’t going to be sticking around. She felt like the witch in Snow White. Why not just make her wear a sign. Warning—Do Not Take Apples From This Woman.

  When Cole had finished his speech, the children clapped politely. Cole led her over to the seats Tiffany had saved. “Help yourself to the buffet,” he said, and turned away.

  “Aren’t you eating with us?” Tiffany asked.

  “Not tonight.”

  “But you always eat with us,” she said, her voice close to a whine. “I saved you a seat.”

  He ruffled her bangs. “Next time, kid. I promise.”

  With that, he was gone.

  As Tiffany took her through the buffet line and explained which items were delicious and which should be avoided at all costs, Elissa couldn’t help thinking about Cole. He’d been difficult and withdrawn when she’d known him before, and that hadn’t changed. If anything, he’d gotten worse. But one thing was the same—he was a man of his word. He’d obviously meant what he said when he’d told her they would never be friends.

  * * *

  Three hours later Elissa closed the door to her two-room suite and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d enjoyed spending time getting to know the children, but it had been a long day. Her evening usually consisted of an occasional dinner out or some quality time with a good book. Trying to concentrate on a board game while being bombarded with questions from fifty curious children had sapped the last of her reserves. Still, she had one more thing she had to do before she could crawl into bed.

  She found the blank pad of paper she’d left on her nightstand and returned to the living room. After clicking on a floor lamp, she settled into a corner of the sofa and nibbled on the end of her pen.

  The kids’ clothes were fine. Many were obviously hand-me-downs, but that happened in every family, not just at orphanages. Some of the buildings needed painting. That was one option, although not one that thrilled her.

  She closed her eyes and thought about what she’d seen on her way into the dining room. Trees, grass, bushes, a couple of bikes, a basketball. She replayed the image and realized the basketball had looked flat, while the bikes were old and dented. Hmm, now that she thought about it, she didn’t remember seeing any playground equipment. That’s where she would start.

  She opened her eyes and began writing. It didn’t matter that Cole hated her, or that he would probably fire her if he knew what she was doing. This wasn’t about him; it was about the children. Besides, she wouldn’t be dissuaded from her plan. She could have everything in place with just a couple of phone calls. She couldn’t wait to see the looks on the children’s faces. Or the look on Cole’s.

  Chapter Three

  Cole stepped into the administration building and heard the sound of female voices. Normally that wasn’t enough to drive him back outside, but he recognized one of the voices as Elissa’s. In the week she’d been working at the orphanage, he’d done his best to avoid her. He told himself he wasn’t being cowardly; he was simply making the best of an awkward situation.

  The excuse sounded feeble, even to himself, so instead of disappearing into the afternoon, he continued toward Millie’s office.

  Elissa’s work space was in the reception area. He rounded the corner and braced himself for the impact of seeing her. No matter how many times he told himself it didn’t matter, every time their eyes met, he felt the connection clear down to his soul. He hadn’t known hatred and longing could coexist so easily.

  But instead
of finding Elissa working hard, he found her sitting on the floor surrounded by boxes of photographs and three young girls.

  They didn’t notice him at first. Gina, the orphanage’s ten-year-old resident genius, knelt next to Elissa, intently watching as Elissa braided Tiffany’s hair. Shanna stood behind them, peering over Elissa’s shoulder. As usual, the barely eight-year-old motormouth couldn’t stop talking.

  “How’d you learn how to do that?” Shanna asked, then reached up and touched her own bright red braid. “Could I learn? Can we learn to do our own? Maybe you could teach us and we could do each other before school. I like my braid. Do you like yours, Tiffany?”

  Tiffany tried to turn to see what Elissa was doing. Elissa laughed. “Hold still. I can’t braid if you’re moving around.”

  “But I’m still not sure I understand how to do this.”

  “We’ll practice for as long as it takes,” Elissa told her.

  Shanna leaned forward, resting one hand on Elissa’s shoulder. The trust inherent in that gesture made Cole’s gut tighten. Elissa had been at the orphanage only a few days, yet she’d already made a home for herself with the children. He supposed he should be pleased she fit in so easily. It was better for everyone. Yet he hated the fact that they liked and trusted her. Why couldn’t they see what he saw? That she would leave them as easily as she’d left him? That none of this mattered to her? It was just an act, and as soon as he figured out what she wanted, he was going to throw her out of the orphanage and his life.

  But not today. Today it was enough to stand in the doorway and watch her laugh and smile with the children.

  In her summer dress, with her long blond hair spilling around her shoulders and the three girls gazing adoringly at her, she looked like a model in a photo shoot. The four of them were a study in contrasts. Elissa fair and blond, Shanna with her freckles and red hair, and the other two girls adding the exotic elements. Tiffany’s Eurasian and African-American heritage gave her a beauty seldom seen. No one knew about Gina’s parents, but Cole figured she had a combination of Anglo and Asian features.

  Four different females who looked so right together. It couldn’t be chance. As he’d first thought—a photo shoot. But these kids hadn’t been paid to act as if they liked her. They were doing it because their feelings were genuine. Weren’t children supposed to be good judges of character?

  Not in this case.

  He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest. Gina was the first to glance up and notice him. Her shy smile broadened. She jumped up and ran to him. He picked her up and held her close.

  “Hi, angel face,” he said as she buried her face in the crook of his neck.

  “Cole!” Tiffany tried to turn toward him, and giggled when she couldn’t. “Look. Elissa’s braiding our hair. Isn’t it cool?”

  “Very nice.”

  “I like my braid,” Shanna said. “It’s pretty. We’re all gonna learn to braid like that, then we can do our hair every morning.”

  “Sounds like a great plan,” he said, noticing Elissa offered him a tight smile and nothing else. He turned his attention to the child in his arms.

  “What’s new?” he asked softly.

  “I want to learn French,” Gina whispered.

  He knew better than to laugh. “Why?”

  “My teacher played a CD today that had some French words in it and I thought they were pretty.”

  “Did you ask her about learning another language?” Gina already spoke Spanish fluently.

  Nod. “There’s some cassettes I can listen to, and maybe she can find a tutor.” She raised her head and stared intently at him. “I told her I didn’t have any money.”

  Familiar frustration assaulted him. The budget at the orphanage had been stretched past the point of breaking. This was the price he paid for autonomy. There was never enough cash.

  He shifted the slight weight in his arms. Gina might be two years older than Shanna, but she was nearly an inch shorter. However, the miniature package housed a brain that bordered on supergenius.

  “You tell your teacher to get you the tapes and set up time with a tutor. We can afford it.”

  “Really?” Gratitude shone from her brown eyes.

  “No problem.” He set her on the ground.

  Without wanting to, he glanced at Elissa. She gave him a brief smile.

  “Despite how it looks, I’m really working,” she said, finishing Tiffany’s braid and securing the end with a rubber band. “Millie asked me to go through all the pictures and pick out the best ones. It’s for the fortieth-anniversary issue of the newsletter. She said you were planning a special bound edition.”

  “That’s right.” They’d discussed it at the last board meeting. The book would be a pictorial history of the orphanage and sold to anyone interested at a small profit.

  Tiffany stood and held out her hands. “Come on, girls. It’s nearly study time. We don’t want to be late. Thanks for doing our hair, Elissa.” She grinned at Cole. “You should grow your hair long.”

  He tugged on her earlobe. “Not in this lifetime.”

  “You wouldn’t look so old.”

  He stepped into the room and jerked his thumb in the direction of the door. “Don’t you have to be somewhere?”

  “Yes, sir.” She grabbed each of the other girls and ushered them outside.

  Elissa leaned back against her desk. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m making friends with the children. You said not to tell them about our marriage, but you didn’t say I couldn’t get involved.”

  He shrugged. “Seems like a waste of time to me. You are leaving in a few months.”

  “I have a three-month trial,” she said. “Not a death sentence. If you like my work and I like being here, I might just stay on.”

  He didn’t dare think about that. He couldn’t bear to have Elissa in his life. Not for any length of time. “I’m sure you’ll find our world very boring.”

  “I don’t know. There’s a consistency that provides comfort. I can always count on you to think the worst of me.”

  Her quick response made him raise his eyebrows. He stepped closer, then crouched down beside her. Instead of flinching, she glared defiantly. He reached for the stack of photos on the floor beside her and picked them up.

  “Were these already sorted?” he asked.

  Her gaze narrowed. She seemed to be deciding if she was going to let him change the subject or not. In the end she did, leaning toward him to gaze at the black-and-white photo of twenty children standing in front of the administration building.

  “There are boxes of photos by years,” she said. “That helps. Some of them are identified, but others are blank on the back. We have school photos to cross-reference. I’m going to pick out a couple hundred of what I think are the best. Millie said you would take those to the planning meeting and make the final decision.” She pointed to the boxes spread out around her. “The oldest are by the door, the newest over here.”

  He set down the pile he’d grabbed, then reached for a box by her left foot. After flipping through it, he put it back and took another one a couple of years earlier.

  He settled on the floor and stretched his long legs out in front of him. The pictures were fifteen years old. He looked through them, finding familiar faces, snapshots of himself. But he didn’t pause at any of those. Instead he searched until he found a picture of three girls.

  Silently he handed it to Elissa. She took it and sighed. “Oh, my. Look at that. We’re wearing the identical dresses Kayla and Fallon always hated.”

  She held the photo out so he could see it, too. Three girls, identical triplets of maybe ten or eleven, stood in front of a tree. The girls wore green dresses, with matching ribbons in their long, curly hair. They gazed at the camera solemnly, as if carrying out some sacred duty.

  “We look a little smug,” Elissa admitted. “It must have been our first visit here. I think ‘adopting’ an orphanage had been our manager’s idea. We wer
en’t really interested until we met everyone. I vaguely recall that first day being a disaster. Did everyone hate us?”

  “Yup. You waltzed in here with your big car and fancy wrapped presents. Untouchable princesses.”

  She handed him the picture and shrugged. “That’s hardly the truth. I think the whole visit was set up badly. It was better later when we just came out and played. I remember meeting you.”

  He didn’t say anything, not wanting to encourage her to speak of those times. She didn’t get the hint.

  “You’d escaped for the day,” she continued. “I found you out in the orange grove, reading. You were tall even then. Dark, with a stare that stopped me in my tracks.”

  He remembered everything about that moment. He’d been reading a textbook for school. Anything had been better than sticking around to entertain slumming celebrities. A snapping twig broke the silence of the afternoon. He’d looked up and seen a young girl walking toward him. She’d stepped from shadow into sunlight and it was as if she were an angel come from heaven.

  He remembered the way the light had caught the gold in her hair. Her warm smile had slipped past his barriers and reached down to his hollow heart, filling him with a sense of belonging. Until then, he’d never been interested in girls, had never thought females had a purpose other than to be annoying. At fifteen, he hadn’t known anything about love, nor had he fallen in love. That had come later. What he’d felt was the connection, the realization that this girl was going to be important to him for the rest of his life.

  “Let’s see,” Elissa said. “I believe I walked up to you and said hello. And you told me to go away. Gee, Cole, it’s been fifteen years and nothing has changed. One would think we could make a little progress.”

  The pain in her eyes belied her light tone.

  He didn’t want to think about her being hurt. “Maybe you should have listened,” he said.

  “And gone away?” she asked, then continued without waiting for him to answer. “I don’t think so. We would never have talked, never have gotten to know each other.” Her green eyes darkened with emotion. “Whatever might have happened between us, I don’t regret the relationship. Or the marriage. I’m sorry if you regret either.”