Paranormal Dating Agency: Dragons Don't Lie (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Fire Chronicles Book 5)

by D'Elen McClain

  “Why did you do that?” I ask in shock.

  “Oh, come on. You made the cake green to piss me off. The least you can do is admit it.”

  My smile breaks through. I’ve given him three days to convince me to stay. It won’t happen, but I plan to have fun. How many women have a gorgeous dragon shifter at their beck and call for three days? And, I look down at the gooey frosting covering the front of me, he liked my cake.

  His next words send my lady parts into a tailspin.

  “Besides, I want you to bathe with me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ashrac

  SHE’S BEEN HIDING from me. Now that I’ve seen her eyes I know there’s more. Taking her to the lake to bathe is the only way I can think to see her naked body and decide for myself if she’s worthy of mating a red dragon. I catch sight of myself in the lake as we fly over; Flora is riding in the saddle. Maybe the green will wash off.

  She’s right about bathing, though. I do smell. I would say it’s not a normal condition, but when I’m engrossed in a project, I forget about everything, including food and especially bathing. My mother still smacks me upside the head when she visits and I’m filthy. She also feeds me.

  Flora has no fear of being on my back. She’s an eagle and I’m still flummoxed that I didn’t know she was a shifter. I sensed her magic from the beginning but there are so many kinds. From precognition to witchcraft to vampires and weres it just never occurred to me that she could shift. Our children would be double shifters and could choose which form to take. Not that they would want anything but dragon because, after all, dragons are superior to all other paranormal creatures.

  When Flora reveals her body, I will know if she’s worthy.

  I circle the lake looking for a sandy beach spot to land. Flora takes it out of my hands and dives off my back. She didn’t bring her glasses and I wonder if her vision is so good she can see beneath the surface of the water. I can’t and I wouldn’t make that dive this close to shore because I can’t judge the depth. She comes up from the water laughing.

  “Come on in, stinky dragon.” She holds up the bathing kit I gave her while she treads water. “I’ll wash your back.”

  Now that’s an opportunity I won’t pass up. I barrel down toward her and enjoy the look of panic that washes over her face as I shift to human ten feet from the surface and dive in beside her. Terrifying her could become my favorite pastime. I surface and she’s laughing. I like the sound. I cup my hand in the water and splash her in the face to see what she does. Her laugh goes instantly to coughing and then she’s laughing again. I really enjoy the sound. Now I just need to get her out of those clothes to see if her body matches the laugh. She splashes me back before I decide how to do it.

  She splashed me.

  It’s on.

  “Stop, stop,” she yells a few minutes later and turns away. She’s trying to breathe while laughing. I’ve never had this much fun with a woman.

  I stop trying to drown her in splashes and just tread water. She slowly paddles back around and I’m hit over the head with an ax. Strands of her wet hair are stuck to her face. Her eyelashes drip water. They’re long fans that swoop over her incredible eyes when she blinks. Her skin is flawless and the bone structure of her face exquisite—high cheekbones, narrow jaw, and a perfect small nose combine to pack a wallop.

  Why hadn’t I noticed? I also realize I’m not thinking about my experiments or the lab. I know I asked for three days but I also knew it would be very difficult to stay away from my projects that long. Now, all I want is to see her body so I know she’s the one.

  “Why are you staring at me?” she asks.

  The question brings me back to the now. “You’re like… almost beautiful,” I reply.

  “What?” she snaps.

  “Could we go to shore and you remove your clothes so I can see if the body matches your face?” It’s an honest question so I don’t understand why her eyes grow larger and go even darker as her lips twist. She starts swimming to shore and it occurs to me that I’ve made her angry. I just don’t know why. She’s seen all of me, so she knows what she’s getting. I deserve the same.

  She wades to the shore when she’s close enough. Her wet clothes stick to her skin, giving me a partial look at the woman who could be my mate. When we’re both completely out of the water, she turns on me.

  “You are the most egotistical ass I’ve ever met. Has it ever occurred to you that there is more to a woman than a pretty face or nice body? Did it occur to you that it doesn’t matter if I’m thin now? After having children I could be fat for the rest of my life. And let me ask you this: Why would I want to mate with you? Muscle and a gorgeous face don’t turn me on.” She puts a finger to her head. “This does. I want to mate a man who appreciates me for more than my looks. We don’t need three days, dragonbreath. This is over and I want to go home.” She folds her arms and stomps her foot for emphasis.

  I can actually feel her shifter magic against my skin now that she’s angry. It does the strangest thing and blends with mine. Damn it feels good. No, good isn’t the correct word. It feels right. With just a small thrust I give it back.

  The breath she’s drawing in stops. Her eyes go dreamy as the anger melts beneath our combined power. “What did you do?” Her voice is as enticing as her eyes.

  I step closer. “I’m not exactly sure. This has never happened before.” I step so close our lips are almost touching.

  “What has never happened?” Her breath wisps against my lips and her scent fills me.

  “My dragon magic blends with yours.”

  “I’m not a dragon,” she replies.

  No she isn’t, but if we mate, she would become a glorious dragon.

  She interrupts my thoughts when she says, “Just so you know, dragonbreath, I won’t sleep with you. Brittlemortis is a sexually transmitted disease.” She rears back, turns, and walks away.

  I stand in stupefaction and almost shout that she’s making that up. I clamp my jaws shut and shout, “You plan on walking home?”

  She doesn’t even turn around. “I’ll manage.”

  I scratch my chest, grab the soap bag off the sand, and go back into the water. I desperately need a bath to see if I can get this green shit off me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Flora

  I SLOG INTO a dense part of forest and remove my sopping clothes. I tie them into a small wet package that I can carry in my beak. My shifting powers are different than conventional shifters because I need words to start the process. I whisper the sacred words in my head that my mother taught me and her mother taught her. The world goes from blurry to crystal clear. In human form, without my glasses, I can see for miles if the view is unobstructed. Close up is another matter; all eagle shifters are far sighted when in human form. Shifting to eagle brings everything into focus.

  “Stupid dragon,” I mumble in my head as I scoop up the bundle and fly out of the tree line. I can’t help turning and flying over the lake. There he is deep in the water bathing, thank the goddess. At least when he flies me back to my realm he won’t smell like a dirty old shoe.

  I don’t think about what I’m doing, it just kind of happens. He plunges his soapy head into the water and I swoop back around. My gooey discharge hits him on the forehead, which was easy because he came back up with his head tilted back. I let out a loud squawk and fly away feeling very satisfied with myself.

  I return to my room and take a quick shower before dressing in Ashrac’s hideous clothes again. I look down at myself. No curves and I do look rather bulky. My shifter metabolism keeps me thin and always will, but I’ll be damned if I tell him that. He’s so hung up on looks I can’t take it.

  Yeah and he’s also hung, period. I will never be able to wipe the image of naked dragonbreath from my mind and I probably won’t want to. I’ll bring out the memory when I bring out my vibrator. It would be so nice if a good man stood behind the meat. I understand we are attracted to the physical body. Un
til dragonbreath, I thought lean was attractive and I liked a man who stayed in shape. But that was never all I looked at. I’m all about what they have between their ears and not between their legs. My mind cuts to what’s between Ashrac’s legs and I disconnect the thought. Only at special times will I think about that.

  After a shift, I need to eat. I sadly spotted no scurrying rodents on my way back to the castle. That means if I want to eat before we leave, I need to cook dinner. If I’m cooking for me, I should cook for Ashrac because it’s the polite thing to do even though the moron wouldn’t know polite if it bit him in his green butt.

  I head to the kitchen. Thankfully I had Ashrac help me clean up the mess he made with the cake before we went to the lake. He grumbled but I threatened to swat him like his mother does if he didn’t help clean. I’m about halfway through cooking the meal, when I hear voices coming from the dining room. There are too many for me to decipher. The door swings open with dragonbreath in the front. Six heads and twelve eyes stare at me from under his arm, scrunched against each other so they can see.

  I lift my hand. “Hi,” I say, ignoring dragonbreath and hoping he doesn’t think I’m talking to him. Six kids slip out from under his arm and enter.

  “She has funny glasses, Uncle Ashrac,” one of the older boys says.

  “Yeah they’re weird,” an exact replica of that boy adds.

  I’m staring at three sets of identical twins. Two girls and four boys. One set of older boys, the girls somewhere in the middle, and two young boys.

  It’s one of the littlest ones who throws out, “I think she’s pretty, Uncle Ashrac.”

  I smile at him before looking at the two who talked about my glasses. I remove them. “No worries, I only need them to see.”

  They smile at me and the boy who said I’m pretty adds, “She’s funny, Uncle Ashrac.”

  If only Ashrac had his sensitivity.

  “And who are you?” I ask.

  He steps forward with a glowing look. “I’m Botan of the Purple Dragon Clan and I’m four.” He turns slightly and places his small hand on his brother’s arm. “This is Rotan of the Purple Dragon Clan and he’s four too.”

  Rotan brushes off the brotherly hand. “She knows that, dummy.”

  Botan lifts his fists. “Don’t call me dummy, dummy, or I’ll punch you.”

  “If you punch me, I’ll punch your face in.”

  They’re bloodthirsty little devils but so darn cute. One of the older boys steps in and breaks up the fight before it comes to swinging fists.

  “That’s enough. You rascals are being rude in front of Uncle Ashrac’s mate.”

  Wait, what? I look at Ashrac before turning back to the kids. “I am not his mate and I’ll be going home tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll bring a mate here soon enough but it won’t be me.” Why does saying that punch me in the gut? No matter, I will be leaving tomorrow.

  Six sets of eyes turn to their uncle. He shrugs. “What can I say? She doesn’t see becoming a red dragon as an honor.”

  They start laughing and one of the girls points out, “But you’re green, Uncle Ashrac. There’s no dignity in being green.” She turns back to me. “Wise decision.”

  Wow. Even the kids are hung up on the color of their scales. The sooner I’m out of here the better.

  Ashrac steps forward. “Finish introductions and head home before you bring down the walls of the castle with your bickering.” He looks at me and shrugs. “I’m not really they’re uncle.”

  I watch as shoulders suddenly drop. One of the oldest twins steps forward and gives me a short salute and an eye roll towards Ashrac. “We like to call him uncle because it bugs him. Name’s Drayce of the Purple Dragon Clan. We’re twelve. This is my brother Ejder of the Purple Dragon Clan.” They are both tall and lean with a lot of growing to do, but you can see they’ll be the size of Ashrac before long.

  Both girls dutifully step forward next. They begin at the same time, stop, and then the one on the right speaks. “I’m Zara of the Purple Dragon Clan and this is—”

  Her sister interrupts. “I wish to do my own introduction,” she tells her sister and then turns to me. “I’m Zora of the Purple Dragon Clan and we’re eight.” The girls are feminine versions of their brothers. The girls’ hair is long and shiny. Even at their age they take care of themselves better than their uncle or un-uncle does.

  Now that introductions are over, Ashrac nods to the kitchen door.

  Botan gives me sad eyes and says, “Something smells really good and I’m a very hungry growing dragon.”

  Cute is not a good enough word. I like this little guy.

  “No,” Ashrac says with a frustrated look. “Your mother will expect you home.”

  Inside my head I’m calculating how much more food I need to make. “Okay,” I say aloud, “I’m not cooking this alone so if you help, you can eat with us.”

  Cheers go up at the same time Ashrac raises his hands in defeat. “It’s on you,” he says to me. “They’ll eat me out of house and home and leave a huge mess behind.”

  Kettle, black? “Why don’t you run off to your little lab? We’ll handle dinner.”

  “Fine.” He spins and marches off grumbling.

  “Botan and Rotan, you’re in charge of setting the table. Drayce, Ejder, I need you peeling potatoes. Zara and Zora you’re backup and will be doing what’s required to get this meal on the table. Right now I need more meat and potatoes brought up from the cellar.”

  The kids hop to it and we have a meal for six growing dragon shifters, one large dragon shifter, and me, a very hungry eagle shifter within thirty minutes. The youngest twins volunteer to fetch their uncle after the table is set. Before I can stop them, they shed their clothes and run out the door. I can’t do anything but laugh because it’s such a shifter thing. On Earth, humans don’t get it and shifters are careful about nudity even when they couldn’t care less. This realm only has shifters, so naked seems to be a way of life.

  “You really don’t like Uncle Ashrac?” Zara asks. I know it’s not Zora because while they might be wearing identical shorts and shirts, I noted the different colored bows in their hair when they introduced themselves. I can’t help wondering if their mom had to put dots on their feet when they were babies to tell them apart. I’m sure it was easier after their personalities came out but I’m having trouble with the boys; it’s a shame they don’t wear hair bows.

  I snap back to the question at hand. I’ll need to handle this delicately. She’s too young to hear the truth about her rotten un-uncle. “It’s not that I don’t like him, we just aren’t compatible.”

  “But he’s a dragon,” she says with complete sincerity.

  And this is what’s wrong with dragons. Being at the top of the food chain is not the greatest place to be in my opinion. “Dragons are wonderful,” I tell her, which is a bit of a lie and creates a slight twinge inside me. “When two people mate they should like more than the color of one’s skin or scales. It’s important that we’re compatible in other ways and I’m afraid we aren’t.” Goddess, please let this be enough.

  “You’re lying,” Drayce says with a slight quirk to his lips. “Dragons don’t lie and it’s a very bad thing to do because it becomes a habit.”

  Darn. So not fair. Called out by a twelve year old. If they want the truth, I’ll give it to them. “In my world skin color is only that, a color. It’s not something that defines us. What’s inside here,” I point at my heart, “defines us.” Earth had too many centuries of fighting over skin color. Paranormal creatures helped to end the prejudice because they brought it on themselves. Skin color no longer defines a person. The world is divided into paranormal and human. The two exist together but that’s where the prejudice is centered now. Sadly it goes both ways. The prejudice comes from all sides and even within their species. As an eagle shifter, I’ve met my fair share of shifters who look down their noses because I have limited power. Coming here and turning dragonbreath green is the first time I’ve
been thrilled to have that particular power.

  And speak of the green devil. Ashrac walks in followed by two naked boys. They scamper into their clothes and approach the table. “Wash your hands first,” I tell them and smile when they groan.

  One of them speaks over his shoulder as he heads out of the room. “You remind me of Mother.”

  I just laugh. It’s when I look across the long table that I feel uncomfortable. Ashrac stares at me with the strangest expression. It’s like he really sees me. I’m still in his shapeless clothes, the pants held up with one of his ties, so it can’t be that. I turn away from him when the younger boys run back into the room. We begin passing platters of food and there’s little talk when eating commences. Another shifter thing. We take our food seriously.

  “This is so good,” Botan finally says.

  We’re having beef tips, mashed potatoes, gravy, and enough green beans to feed an army. “You’re part of the reason they’re so good. Thank you for all your help,” I say and Botan goes red with pride. He lowers his chin and goes back to eating. When we’re stuffed and every last morsel is gone, the kids stand up and start their goodbyes.

  “Good, get lost,” Ashrac tells them.

  “No,” I say. “Now it’s time for everyone to help with the dishes.”

  All eyes turn my way and I see instant rebellion on their faces. Before I can give them a mother lecture, Ashrac speaks up. “Come on, it will only take a few minutes if we all hustle. When we’re finished, I’ll take you into the lab and show you my latest project.”