Effortless With You

by Lizzy Charles

  “Wow. What was that about?” Luke says as he hands Laura a burger.

  “Lucy just made Marissa look like a fool,” Laura bubbles.

  “Really? About time.”

  “Yup. It was effortless. It was collected. It was … confident.”

  “Really?” Thank God. I can’t believe I pulled it off.

  “Yeah, she won’t mess with you again. Trust me.”

  “Thanks.” My post-confrontation adrenaline begins to rise, but it isn’t the good type of adrenaline. It is the type that makes me freak out. My mind and emotions are on overload. I need to get out of here. I nod toward their burgers. “That looks good. I think I’ll go get one.”

  “Do you want me to grab you one?” Luke offers.

  “No. I’m good. You guys enjoy. Laura, it was great to meet you. We should hang out.”

  “Oh, don’t worry.” She hands me my cell. “I already added my number. Hope ya don’t mind.”

  “Not at all. I’ll send you my number later.”

  “I kind of already did that too. What can I say? I’m desperate for some girl talk.” She glances sideways at Luke, “No offense, babe.”

  Luke grabs my wrist dramatically. “Call her, please. It will save me.”

  I force myself to laugh appropriately. I grasp my hands. They are beginning to shake. I wave goodbye before disappearing into the crowd and slipping out the fence gate without further confrontation. The side yard is empty. I toss my purse on the grass and lean back against the fence. My whole body feels jittery.

  I don’t know where to start. I’d successfully stood up to Marissa and Zach. Marissa looked like a drunken fool in front of everyone. It went better than I could have hoped. So why did I feel so disappointed?

  I remember Justin’s voice uttering “beautiful.” My face warms with a fresh blush. Did he really mean it? I start to ache. No. He can’t have. How can he return to being so stand-offish if he did? He was just sticking up for me, saying whatever would make Marissa upset. I have to hand it to him. It worked.

  I bend down to pick up my purse. I’m ready to go home.

  “Lucy, you look amazing tonight.” My stomach turns over. I don’t even need to look up to know that voice.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Uh, thanks.” I push past Zach as he grabs my arm.

  “Where ya going?”

  “Home, Zach.” I shake my arm. “Let me go, now!”

  His grip tightens. “Oh come on. I think we can make up. Don’t you?” He pushes me against the fence. He smells like whisky.

  “Leave me alone.” He steps toward me. My flight response soars. I try to run past him. He grabs me and slams me back into the fence. “I’ll scream.”

  He laughs. “No one will hear you over the music.” I scream anyway.

  He leans toward me.

  “Don’t.” I push him away.

  “You know you want me.” He slips his finger under my dress’s strap. I shove his chest with all my weight. He replaces his hand against the fence, positioning himself so close I can taste his whisky breath.

  “Why else would you dress like that? Marissa would never have to know.”

  “Not happening.” I duck under his arm, screaming as I bolt.

  Even drunk, his reflexes are still supreme. He grabs my arm and throws me back against the fence. The back of my head makes a loud thud. The sound startles Zach. He steps away from me with a conflicting look on his face.

  I meet his eyes. “Zach, stop.”

  “Youwantthis,” he slurs. I scream but it only seems to entice him. He forces his lips against mine. My mouth fills with bile. I don’t swallow it in case I need to spit it in his face. I close my eyes as his body pushes against mine. He is so heavy. It’s hard to breath. His hand goes straight to my chest.

  I spit the bile at his face and knee him in the balls.

  “That means ‘no,’” says a deep voice.

  My eyes fling open. An older man grabs Zach’s arm and flings him to the ground. I suck in new air. Matt rushes to my side. The older man effortlessly picks Zach up and throws him against the fence. His strength surprises me. Zach’s body slumps to the ground.

  “That’s not how you treat women, son.”

  Zach nods, sleepily. The older man spins around to Matt. “Did you serve alcohol?” His voice is thick with accusation.

  “No. He brought it.” The man studies Zach, then Matt. “Come on, Dad. Is it really that hard to believe?”

  Matt’s dad returns his attention to Zach. “Get off the ground. You’re coming with me.” Zach shakes his head in refusal before he retches. The smell of his whisky vomit overpowers me. I duck my head behind a bush and do the same. Mr. Johnson reaches down and yanks Zach up by his collar. “Either come now or I’ll call the police.” Zach swears but relents. Mr. Johnson nods to Matt, “Sorry, son. The party’s over.”

  Matt doesn’t protest. He opens the gate to slip in back and end the party. Justin is on the other side talking with some volleyball players. He glances at me, Zach, and Matt’s dad. His jaw drops. He drops his conversation and steps to my side of the fence. He closes the gate behind him.

  “What happened?” He touches the back of my arm.

  I can’t answer. My heart spins out of control. I want to close my eyes, curl up on the ground, and make all the feelings stop. I can’t make eye contact with him. Mr. Johnson starts explaining that he thought he heard a scream from inside. I can’t take anymore.

  I walk away. I’m done.

  A rough hand touches my shoulder. I flinch. “Lucy,” says Mr. Johnson. “I don’t think you should walk home right now. I’ll take you home after I call Zach’s parents.” He leads me to the front porch. “Have a seat, okay?” I nod, totally numb now.

  “Justin, why don’t you wait with her?” Mr. Johnson suggests. I shake my head but he doesn’t notice.

  “Of course,” Justin answers. I can’t meet his eyes. I just walk away from him and curl my knees up to my chest on the porch swing. He pulls up a chair next to me. “I’m sorry, Lucy.” His voice is warm and tender. Every nerve in my body jolts in confusion.

  It hurts.

  “Why do you do that?” I snap.

  “Do what?”

  “You really don’t know?”

  “No. What is it?” He reaches out and places his hand on mine. It sends me reeling.

  “That!” I pull my hand away. “One second you act like you care about me, as friends,” I clarify, “and the next second you push me away. And now, today, you care again?”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about,” he says in a cool tone.

  “See, right there!”

  “What?” he snaps.

  I glare at him. “You waltz into my life annoying me to death when really you are trying to save me. I become enlightened, not through any of your help,” I add, “and we decide to be friends. Then a tornado runs us down and suddenly I’m not worth any of your time.”

  Justin rolls his eyes. I continue. “You barely say hello. When you do talk to me, it is only about business.”

  “Well, I’m your boss!”

  “And then today you show up to play basketball? And then left, just like that. If you wanted to talk about Jennif—”

  “That’s not why I was there.”

  “You could have told me. I wasn’t going to text the world.”

  “Well, I thought better of it.”

  “And why is that, wise man?”

  Justin shrugs nonchalantly.

  My blood boils. “So that’s it?” I demand.

  He sits back down and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. He opens up some sort of Tetris app.

  “Fine.” I walk past him down the steps. My heart stings. “I’m sorry I’m such a bother.”

  “Where are you going?” he demands.

  “Home.”

  “But Matt’s dad is driving you.”

  “Obviously, he isn’t.”

  “Lucy.” He crosses his arms over his ches
t. The veins in his forearms are pulsing and his muscles are twitching.

  My heart is fried. “Justin, you are so—”

  “Impossible,” a light voice interrupts. Jennifer steps out from around the house.

  “Precisely.” I exhale, pulling my fingers back through my hair.

  Jennifer approaches me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was just helping Matt clean up in back. He told me what happened with Zach.” She rests her hand on my forearm. “That must have been terrifying.” She turns toward Justin, not expecting me to answer.

  “Justin, I’ll walk her home. Tell Mr. Johnson she just needed some girl time.” She nods toward the front window where Mr. Johnson is yelling into the phone, presumably to Zach’s parents. “I’ve got this.”

  “Fine.” Justin flings his hands in the air in defeat. He storms into Matt’s house, slamming the door behind him.

  I let out a long breath.

  “Thanks,” I mutter. I start walking away, hoping Jennifer isn’t really intending to follow.

  “Wait.” She catches up to me. “You seriously can’t walk home alone after what just happened.”

  “I don’t even know what just happened.”

  Her voice is tender. “With Zach or Justin?”

  “Both, I guess,” I say honestly, exhausted from hiding my emotions.

  We turn onto the walkway connecting the developments. Light from the full moon bounces off the black asphalt. “Justin can be intense.” She takes a spot at my side. She walks with me comfortably in silence. I concentrate on inhaling the cool night air, willing it to calm me down. Occasionally, she places her hand on my back. Jennifer is being so nice and she doesn’t even know me.

  No wonder Justin likes her.

  “Thanks.” I stop walking. I want her to know I really mean it. “I’m sorry about you and Justin.”

  She smiles. “No problem. As far as Justin goes, it really isn’t a big deal.” She doesn’t seem shaken at all.

  “Oh. Are you guys still dating?” Jennifer’s eyes widen in surprise. “I’m sorry. That was rude. I just noticed at the party you guys still seem …” I search for the right word.

  “The same?” she offers.

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s because we are.”

  I nod and continue walking. I try to hide my disappointment. “That makes sense. I guess I’d try to keep everyone out of my relationship if I were you too.”

  “No, no.” She smiles at me. “We aren’t together anymore.”

  “But?” I stop. I don’t know why I’m arguing with her.

  “Justin and I are great friends.” She stops walking for emphasis this time. “He’s a great guy.”

  “I know. He’s everyone’s favorite.” My eyes roll before I can stop them. “If he’s so great, why did you break up with him?” I clasp my hand to my mouth. I can’t believe I just asked that.

  Jennifer laughs. “He’s right. You are funny.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. I’m still hoping she’ll answer my blunt question.

  “That was his idea actually,” she adds calmly.

  “To break up?”

  “No. That we tell everyone I broke up with him. It was mutual.” She nods toward the bench on the side of the walkway. I sit down with her.

  “We actually haven’t been dating very long.”

  “You were together over a year.”

  “Yeah but,” she sighs. “We only really dated a few months before we realized that we weren’t that into each other.”

  “So you pretended?”

  “We really liked each other as friends. Pretending meant we wouldn’t have to deal with people hitting on us all the time.” She shrugs. “Being together was a built-in excuse. I always have a date for the dances without the drama.” She smiles. “You saw those girls at the party, right? Imagine that happening all the time.” She pulls her hair back into a tight pony tail.

  I smile back at her. “Somehow I don’t think Justin minded it much.”

  “No. Tonight he found it amusing. But trust me. He really does hate it.” Jennifer starts picking at her fingernail polish. Her leg bounces. I’m surprised she’s a fidget-er.

  “So then why did you choose to end it?”

  “I met someone,” she says with slow intensity.

  “Who?”

  She turns toward me, her face serious. “I’m going to tell you because Justin says you are a good person. I trust him so I trust you to keep this secret. Okay?”

  “I promise.” I am surprised at the magnitude she puts on the moment. Her leg bounces up and down. I put my hand on her shoulder, helping her calm her nerves. She smiles at me and takes a deep breath.

  “Her name is Trish.”

  I process what she says for a second. The second seems too long, making me feel rude. “Oh, awesome!” I sound overly enthusiastic trying to cover up for my paused second. I slap my hand against my forehead and she laughs. “No, I mean. Seriously, that’s good for you.” I place my hand on her arm. I hope she feels my sincerity. “How’d you meet her?”

  She squeezes my hand back in understanding. “At a track meet this past spring. We’ve been seeing each other for a while. Justin covered for me. But I don’t want to hide anymore. I need to be myself, you know?”

  I nod. I totally get that. “Who else knows?” I ask as she starts picking her nail polish again.

  “Justin, our families, and, now, you.” She assesses me out of the corner of her eye while she refocuses on her nail polish. “Justin, of course, was the first to know. In fact, I think he knew I was a lesbian from the start. He actually helped me realize it.” She giggles. “Don’t tell him I said this but, seriously, if making out with a guy like Justin doesn’t do it for you, no guy would.” I smile back. I can’t imagine a better test.

  “I had to be honest with Justin. We’d grown so close. It was hard at first but he wanted to be my protector.”

  “From what?”

  “Oh, come on, Lucy. Our school is a deadly judgmental social system. If I came out at the wrong time, they’d eat me alive. I wasn’t strong enough before.” She stands up, ready to walk again. “But I am now. Maybe I can even change things?” She forces a laugh. “A lesbian head cheerleader and class president—I’ll be big news!”

  “When do you plan on sharing your relationship with everyone?” I ask gently. I shy away from the traditional coming out of the closet phrase. It sounds too cliché.

  “Well, it’s still pretty fresh with Trish. I don’t really want to drag her into it yet. Maybe after winter break at the Snow Ball?” she lifts her eyebrows mischievously.

  “Wow,” I imagine Jennifer and her mystery girl entering through the grand archway of the country club’s ballroom. “That would definitely make an impression.”

  “Exactly.”

  We walk a bit longer, fantasizing about people’s reactions. I point out my house a block away. “Do you want a ride home?” I offer.

  She pulls out her phone. “No. I’m good. Justin will come get me.” After texting him, she turns to me. “Justin really is a good guy. Give him a break. He just needs to figure out how to be around a girl that isn’t me. He wants to be your friend.”

  “Only if you do me a favor?” We sit down on my front step, waiting for Justin.

  “Sure.”

  “Will you please lecture him about being consistent?” I groan. “I don’t think I can take any more of his oscillation.”

  She laughs. “Oh, trust me. After listening to your little brawl, I’ve got a lot of pointers for him.”

  We hear the clanking sound of Justin’s truck before it turns the corner. Jennifer laughs, “That’s so Justin. That drive should have been at least five minutes. I bet he was waiting down the street.”

  The truck sputters loudly. “Why doesn’t he buy himself something nice?”

  “Because he’s Justin.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “He thinks the whole BMW for your sweet sixteen is absurd. He loves
driving a clunker for stories to tell his kids.” The truck sputters to a stop in the driveway. She shakes her head. “I can’t believe I let him take me to prom in that thing.”

  “Thanks for walking me home.” I help her up off the stairs.

  “No problem. Thanks for listening. We should hang out, okay?” She smiles genuinely before nodding toward Justin. “I’m sure I’ll see you soon.” I wave as she walks away. She stops briefly to greet Justin before crawling into his truck. Justin continues up the walk toward me. I lean against the porch rail, waiting with my heart on guard.

  “Lucy,” he begins. His tone is neutral. “I was out of line.” He stands next to me with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry for how I behaved, both tonight and this past week.” His bold green eyes look down at me tenderly.

  Jennifer gives me thumbs-up from the car. I sigh. “It’s okay,” is all I can manage.

  He shakes his head. “No. Trust me. It’s not. For me to act that way after all you’ve been through …”

  “The fainting, heartbreak, tornado, or assault?” I try to ease the mood.

  He sighs, and my eyes rest on his lips. My knees go weak so I lock them.

  “I guess all of it.” He shakes his head. “What I’m trying to say is this. I really do want to be friends, okay?”

  “Alright.” We stare at each other for a moment. My home phone rings inside. I motion toward the door. “I should probably go. That’s probably Matt’s dad. My folks are going to have a lot of questions.”

  “Good luck with that.” Justin nods while stepping away. “I’ll see you soon then, okay?”

  “Yup.”

  He climbs back into his truck. He leans over in the cab and gives Jennifer a hug. Jennifer waves as they pull out of the driveway.

  I yawn. I feel like I’ve lived through a weird, confusing dream. I push open the front door. The kitchen door muffles Dad’s harsh voice. I fight back another yawn before pushing the door open. My parents’ eyes are wide with worry.

  This is going to be a long night.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Dad is livid. He keeps asking me to recount what Zach did and how I reacted. He writes it all down. I try to emphasize that Zach was drunk and confused. Dad keeps throwing around the terms “attempted rape” and “assault.” He relays my story to the cops, the principal, really anyone who will listen while I sit humiliated at our kitchen table. Zach’s parents refuse to believe it. Zach has assured them that I’d thrown myself at him in desperation.