No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  After viewing the concert venue, they walked over to the dining facility and had lunch. But unlike the day before, there was no small talk. They might have been complete strangers for all the attention Kate paid him. Chase tried several times to make conversation with her, but after receiving short, polite responses, he gave up. He told himself that if she wanted to keep him at arm’s length, then he was fine with that. In another week she would be gone. He had no desire to get to know Kate Fitzgerald. He told himself for the hundredth time that she was simply an assignment, and once that assignment was over, he could get back to what he should have been doing all along: hunting and capturing Al-Azir.

  This was exactly why he avoided women and tried not to encourage those who did show an interest in him; they were a distraction. Even now, when he should be spending his spare time coordinating with his team members and laying out a plan for their continued pursuit of Al-Azir, he found his thoughts consumed by Kate. He needed to get away from her, even if it was just for a couple of hours. He wondered if his brother was at Camp Leatherneck.

  Chance was an Apache helicopter pilot, and his missions took him to many of the U.S. bases, although he was stationed at Bagram. But it hadn’t escaped Chase’s notice that his brother somehow managed to fly into Camp Leatherneck about once every two weeks, and it was no coincidence that the trips just happened to coincide with those times that Captain Jenna Larson was also at Camp Leatherneck. On second thought, he decided that even if his brother was on the base, Chase was unlikely to get any quality time with him. Chance would be fully occupied with Jenna.

  He watched Kate eat her lunch. Although she deliberately ignored him, Chase could see that she was acutely aware of him. She watched him when she thought he didn’t notice, and she was attuned to every movement he made. He hadn’t been in his line of business for nearly eight years without being able to read body language, and everything about Kate screamed awareness of him.

  He couldn’t believe the difference a day made. Just yesterday, he’d been chomping at the bit to return to the field and resume his hunt for Al-Azir. Now, for the first time in years, he wasn’t thinking about duty and country. With a sense of dismay, he realized he wanted more.

  He wanted Kate Fitzgerald.

  8

  ON A PRETEXT OF having business to attend to, Chase left Kate at the USO for the afternoon. He needed some time to get his head together and put things in perspective. Colonel Decker had made it clear that his only mission for the next week was to take care of Kate and her sister, but he also needed to touch base with the rest of his team. Even if the stand-down order was lifted in the next day or so, he was committed to remaining with Kate until the tour had ended.

  Kate seemed happy at the prospect of spending time at the USO. She would have internet and phone access, and had insisted she needed to reach both Tenley and Russell. He’d desperately wanted to know if Russell was a boyfriend, but pride prevented him from asking. They had agreed that he would return to collect her after dinner. The dining facility was located directly next door to the USO, so she didn’t need an escort. He felt a little disgruntled by the fact that she seemed happy at the prospect of eating a meal alone. She hadn’t talked about staying in the large tent by herself, but the more Chase thought about it, the less he liked the idea, especially with a storm moving into the region. He’d already made up his mind to hunker down outside the entrance for the night, just in case she needed him. He’d slept in worse places, in worse conditions, so the idea didn’t faze him.

  By the time Chase jogged over to the USO to get Kate, the temperatures had dropped significantly, and the wind had kicked up a notch. Dust whipped across the ground in swirling clouds, and he could hear the patter of tiny stones as they clattered against the metal buildings. In the distance, flashes of lightning briefly illuminated the mountain peaks.

  The storm was rolling in quickly, and it promised to be a good one. Kate was waiting for him by the entrance, her enormous shoulder bag over one arm. Even in the dim light he could see the apprehension on her face as she looked toward the northwest.

  “C’mon,” he said briskly, “let’s get you back to your tent before the rain starts.” He indicated the road, which was packed dirt and rocks. “You don’t want to be out here once the ground gets wet.”

  “Is there any chance I can take a shower before I turn in?” she asked hopefully.

  Chance had already planned on hitting the showers after he dropped her off at her tent, so it would be no big deal to walk her over to the bathrooms. “Absolutely,” he assured her. “I’ll leave you at your tent while I go and grab my own gear, and then come back for you.”

  The wind kept her from responding, so she just nodded and then put her head down. She kept pace with him as they walked quickly across the base. On the left, he pointed out the nearest bunker, illuminated by an orange safety light. The exterior of the concrete bunker was packed high with sandbags.

  “There’s another shelter just beyond the bathrooms,” he said, drawing her close and raising his voice to be heard over the wind. “If the sirens go off while you’re in the shower, use that bunker instead.”

  He left her at her own tent and then quickly jogged to the Marine battalion quarters, and stuffed a clean uniform and his shower gear into his backpack. Other soldiers were running to reach their destinations before the storm hit, and Chase looked to the sky, trying to estimate how much time they might have before the heavens opened up. They didn’t often get storm fronts of this magnitude in southern Afghanistan, and when they did, they usually took the form of sandstorms. But he already knew that this particular storm was packing a lot of moisture, and the troops were battening down the hatches in preparation for a significant amount of rain. He knew that Kate would be okay; her tent had been erected on top of a wooden platform, so she would be safe from flooding. But the tents were prone to seepage, and there was a good chance that she would have several leaks during the course of the night.

  It was almost completely dark by the time he returned to Kate’s tent and found her waiting for him just inside the entrance. They jogged the short distance to the bathroom, not wanting to get caught in the threatening downpour.

  Chase stepped into the entry with Kate. “I’ll be right next door,” he assured her. “Wait for me here. I’ll give you a shout when I’m ready to walk you back to the tent, got it?”

  Kate nodded. “I’ll be quick.”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll be back in ten minutes to get you.”

  Ducking into the men’s showers, on the opposite side of the same building, Chase quickly stripped down and stepped under the steaming water, grateful to scrub away the dust and grit from the base. Since it was still the dinner hour, he had the entire facility to himself. He could easily have stayed under the hot water for hours, but sensitive to the fact that Kate would be waiting for him, he rinsed the soap from his skin and turned off the tap. Then, wrapping a towel around his hips, he stood over a sink and used a razor to scrape the beard growth from his jaw and neck. Scrutinizing his reflection, he decided he still looked rough around the edges, but at least he no longer resembled a mercenary.

  He was wiping the last traces of shaving cream from his jaw when the lights in the bathroom flickered. Outside, he could hear the wind whistling across the base. The doors rattled on their hinges. Chase turned swiftly toward the stall where he had left his gear and a clean change of clothing, but he was too late. The lights flickered once more, ominously, before they went out, plunging the bathroom into utter darkness.

  Abandoning his clothing, Chase made a beeline for the door, bolting through it and into the windy darkness outside. He knew it would only be a minute or two before the lights came back on or the backup generators kicked in, but he didn’t want Kate to panic.

  He burst through the doors of the women’s bathrooms, calling her name. “Kate? Are you okay? It’s me, Chase.”

  He heard her footsteps stumble toward him, and then she was in his arms, her
hands groping blindly at him.

  “Chase?” He could hear the surprise in her voice. “What are you doing in here? Isn’t there some rule against— Are you naked?”

  Her fingers encountered his bare torso, and before he could stop them, they skittered over his shoulders and arms, drawing heat to the surface of his skin wherever they touched. Grasping her wrists, he dragged her hands away.

  “No,” he snapped in irritation at himself and his body’s reaction to her. “I am not naked. I was just getting dressed when the power went out. I didn’t want you to be frightened, so I ran over. The backup generators should—” There was an audible click, then a buzz of electricity, and the emergency lights over the doors snapped on, illuminating the bathroom in an eerie red glow. “Kick in any second,” Chase finished, his voice trailing off as he got a good look at Kate.

  As lights went, they weren’t much, but they were more than sufficient for him to see that she wore nothing but a pair of underpants and a bra, and his mouth went dry at the sight. He’d been right about one thing—she had curves in all the right places. Her hips flared out from a narrow waist, and her legs were slim and supple.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathed, her eyes widening as they traveled over him. For just an instant, Chase saw female appreciation and raw hunger in her expression, and in the next instant she spun away to snatch a towel from the nearby sink and hold it against her. “I’m fine, really,” she said over her shoulder. “You can go now and—and put some clothes on.”

  Chase stood there for a moment, dumbstruck. Despite the fact that he’d already seen her partially nude and knew she had a gorgeous shape, he was blown away by the entire package. Even her back was lovely, and he took a second to admire the elegant line of her spine and the deep curves of her waist. Her rear was luscious and rounded, and he had an instant image of himself cupping her cheeks in his hands and driving himself into her warmth as she straddled his hips. Then he gave himself a mental shake. He was losing it, big-time.

  “I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he muttered, and returned to the men’s side of the shower facilities, his head still reeling.

  For as long as Chase could recall, women had been attracted to him and his identical twin, Chance. But where Chance had welcomed every feminine advance and had been considered something of a player, Chase had been completely focused on his future as a Special Ops commando. He’d known from an early age that he wanted to join the elite unit, and nothing—not even a pretty face and a curvy body—could deter him from that path. He’d had girlfriends, but none of them had been more important to him than achieving his goal.

  In fact, looking back, he realized he’d deliberately kept women at a distance because he’d known his dedication to the Army would prevent him from committing himself fully to a relationship. But right now, with his body aroused from just seeing her, he thought he would gladly trade his entire freaking career for just one night with Kate Fitzgerald.

  Yeah, he’d definitely lost it.

  Pulling on a clean uniform, Chase stuffed his dirty gear into his backpack, telling himself that he’d have no problem facing Kate. He’d seen plenty of women with less clothing on than the scraps of fabric she’d been wearing, and he’d never been so overcome by lust that he’d lost his self-control. He’d just keep it professional and act like he hadn’t seen anything. Like he hadn’t cupped and caressed her breasts less than twenty-four hours earlier. Like he had no idea how her nipple felt in his mouth, against his tongue, or how her small sounds of pleasure drove him crazy.

  Yeah, right.

  Bracing himself, he stepped outside. Rain was just beginning to fall in big, fat drops, and the sky flashed with lightning mere seconds before a roll of thunder caused the ground to tremble beneath his boots. He pulled a small flashlight out of his backpack and flicked it on, not because he couldn’t find his way back, or because he couldn’t see in the dark, but because he knew it would give Kate a sense of security. Standing just outside the door to the women’s showers, he called her name.

  She came out immediately, although Chase didn’t miss how she avoided his eyes, concentrating instead on adjusting her bag over her shoulder. But when the first raindrops hit her face, she blinked in surprise and lifted a hand to catch several.

  “Wow, this storm is moving in fast,” she observed.

  “They usually do out here,” Chase replied. “We’d better hurry, or we’ll find ourselves soaked to the skin before we reach your tent. Here, let me take your bag.”

  Ignoring her protests, he took the shoulder bag from her and slid a hand beneath her elbow. He sensed her surprise, but she didn’t try to pull away. The rain was coming down in sheeting torrents now, mixing with the dusty road and creating mud that had the consistency of peanut butter. It sucked at his feet with every step, and if it weren’t for the fact that his boots were laced up over his ankles, they might have been pulled free.

  Kate wasn’t so lucky.

  She gave a small cry of distress and stumbled heavily, pulling Chase to an abrupt halt. He steadied her as she leaned her weight against him and balanced herself on one foot. Swiping the water from his face, Chase looked down to see one of her slip-on shoes buried in the muck. He pulled it free, and she grimaced as she pushed her foot back into it.

  “So much for that shower,” she shouted.

  Chase peered up at the sky. “Yeah, well, you don’t know the meaning of the word shower until you’ve experienced a desert storm. This is just going to get worse. C’mon.”

  But no sooner did they take another step, than Kate’s other shoe became stuck in the mud. Chase flicked his light over the ground, seeing the water pooling quickly around Kate’s foot. She could put the shoe back on, but he already knew they’d be retrieving her footwear from the mud with every step she took. The way he saw it, they had two choices: she could go barefoot all the way back to her sleeping quarters, or he could carry her. He told himself firmly that the thought of holding her in his arms for the five-minute trek did not send his pulse into overdrive.

  “Okay, listen,” he said, using his best authoritative voice, “I’m going to carry you back to the tent, otherwise we’ll be playing hop-along the whole way.”

  She stared up at him, and in the beam from the flashlight, her lashes were spiky with moisture, and rivulets of water streamed down her face and slicked her hair to her scalp. She blinked furiously.

  “You can’t carry me,” she protested. “First of all, I weigh a ton, and second of all, it’s not necessary. I’ll just go barefoot.”

  “No, that’s not an option,” he said briskly. “The road is loaded with stones and potholes. If you don’t end up with a serious laceration, you could twist an ankle. Just let me carry you. You don’t weigh a ton, trust me. I carry seventy pounds of equipment on my back whenever I’m in the field.”

  She gave him a tolerant look. “I weigh a little more than seventy pounds.”

  Chase handed her the shoulder bag. “Here, carry this. Now put your arms around my neck.”

  A brilliant flash of lightning, followed by a low boom of thunder, caused her to clutch his arm, and Chase took advantage of her startled reaction, bending down to slide an arm behind her knees. He lifted her effortlessly, and the thought flashed through his head that she really didn’t weigh much more than seventy pounds. She turned her face into his neck as he strode along the muddy road, and even with the rain lashing against his face, he could smell her soap and shampoo. Her breath came in warm pants against his skin, and he arrived at her tent much too quickly. He set her down just inside the entrance.

  “I lost my shoe back there,” she said.

  Chase looked down at her bare, mud-covered foot. “I’ll go back and get it,” he offered. “Here, take my flashlight. The power’s out, so the lights won’t work in here. There’s bottled water and some towels at the back of the tent that you can use to clean up.”

  “What about you?” she asked. “How will you see anything?”

  He pu
lled out a second, smaller flashlight from a pocket on his camo pants. “Always ready,” he said with a quick grin. “I’ll be right back.”

  She nodded, swiping moisture from her face. “Okay, thanks.”

  Chase sprinted back the way they had come until he found her shoe. It was a flat-soled, cloth shoe that might have been blue or purple, but right now it was coated in a thick, yellowish mud. Wiping the worst of it off, he jogged back to the tent. Kate had put the flashlight on the small side table next to her bunk bed and stood toweling her hair dry. In the instant before she knew he was there, he saw the weariness on her face and in the droop of her slender shoulders. Her clothes were soaking wet and plastered to her skin. He cleared his throat and she turned toward him, smoothing her features into an expression of pleasant expectation. She grimaced when she saw the sopping shoe in his hand.

  “Maybe I should just consider these shoes as collateral damage and throw them away.”

  “Leave them outside the tent and let the rain wash them clean,” Chase suggested. “Once the sun comes out, they’ll be dry within minutes.”

  Another bolt of lightning flashed brilliance behind him, followed by a sharp crack of thunder. Kate didn’t jump, but Chase saw how she clutched the towel convulsively in her hands. He intended to spend the night just outside her tent, in case she needed him, but if Kate found out she would protest.

  “Okay, listen, I’m going back to my tent to change into dry clothes and grab my rain gear, and then I’ll come check on you,” he said. “If you want, we can play cards or something. I can hang out here until the worst of the storm passes.”