by West, T J
Without warning, without even slowing down, Danny abruptly disengaged our mouths. I was taken aback and suddenly worried that I did something wrong. Then he apologized for kissing me. It pissed me off when he explained to me that he wanted nothing to do with me because he was going away. Screw him for playing with me and making me doubt what I was unexpectedly feeling for him. I made up my mind and told him I was going on that date with Wayne. He became possessive and didn’t want me getting hurt. Well...I told him to shove it and walked off. How dare he do that to me, walk all over me as if I was his puppet. No one will ever be allowed to string me along, gamble with my feelings. I wasn’t one to play that way. Just when I wanted to give myself to him, he ruined it with being a pompous ass.
The next night Wayne took me out. I won’t say it was the worst date I’d ever been on, but it wasn’t the greatest either. We had no chemistry, plain and simple. I don’t even think he had a clue I wasn’t interested in him. I was still too worked up over what happened between me and Danny, I was ignoring everything poor Wayne was saying to me. Although I believe he hadn’t even noticed my zoned out look. We went to dinner then walked along the beach. It was a beautiful evening, but I just wanted to go home. He clutched hands with mine and never let me go. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I didn’t deny his contact. However, despite it being a bad date I found him quite funny. He did make me laugh a number of times because he reminded me of my sister. Maybe they should go out together instead? Wayne politely walked me up to my door and kissed me. I mean….opened mouth, tongue, booty grabbing, you name it….he did it. I was such a wimp not saying no to him, but dammit, he was really nice! Too bad there was no spark.
The day JINKS was leaving on tour I snuck over to their departure area. I followed Faith over, not wanting anyone to see me. I shouldn’t have been so discreet and hush hush over my feelings for Danny, but I just didn’t want word to get around that I had the hots for Mr. Hothead. While he was passed out on Faith’s couch I smuggled inside his pant pocket, took out his cell phone and stole his number. Well, I shouldn’t say it was stealing, more like borrowing it. Okay, it was stealing. I feel pretty awful that I stole his number, I don’t normally do crazy things like that, considering it seemed obsessive and a bit stalkish. Well, after our unfortunate rendezvous I totally forgot about the number, until the moment he noticed me hiding behind June’s studio wall, watching him getting on the bus. Just from that far off distance I could feel we still had a connection. I didn’t understand it and still don’t. It’s there and for the last few months it’s been growing.
A week after they were on tour I started texting him. I wasn’t planning on using his number, but that last second we saw one another and our eyes connected, I haven’t been able to keep him from my thoughts. Every so often I would ask him about his day, what his favorite part of the tour was so far, and has he been hounded by the women yet? My questions weren’t personable, even though I wanted to make them that way. I didn’t want to step inside that hole, make myself jealous for no reason. I understood his reasons for pushing me away; he was protecting himself and me. Life on the road was an unpredictable situation and by being with me while he was on tour it would have backfired on us both. My guess is he can’t restrain himself from other women? Although I don’t know him very well I don’t see him as a player. I just feel he isn’t. Whatever his reasons were he made the right call. It was either get hurt then or wind up with my heart broken finding out he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.
I kept up my texting, kept it light and surprisingly he would text back. My face held a grin every time I got an answer from him. I didn’t care whether or not it was the same answer as the night before, I still felt butterflies in my stomach knowing he took a millisecond to answer me back.
As I closed the car door and am walking to my condo after a long day at work, I decided to give Danny another text. “How was the last concert?” Since it usually takes him awhile to text back, I put my phone in my bag and enter the front door.
The second I enter, Melody is all bright smiles and is extremely happy to see me. “Hey, so glad you’re home! Wanna watch a movie? I’ll make popcorn, put some M&M’s in there, whad’ya say?”
I really do love my sister and her enthusiasm, but she tires me out. She’s one of the most beautiful, outgoing people I know, even if she does drive me bonkers. Her short black hair used to be a light brown until she started going on her weekend concert escapades. Although I do have to admit, her dark green eyes pop with the new color. She’s full of life and takes every day like it’s her last, which means more work for me and more time for her to play.
I walk past her and straight toward my bedroom. Once I look at my bed, I crawl on top and lay flat on my stomach, closing my eyes. “I’m beat, maybe tomorrow? I won’t be working,” I mumble.
Melody climbs her way next to me and shakes my back. “Harm, come on, sister! Put on your pj’s get a pillow and meet me on the couch in ten!”
Ugh, I just want to sleep! I Prop myself up on my elbows and look at my sister as if she is crazy - which she is! “Melody, I’m exhausted. I’ve been on my feet for…...ten hours, I need sleep!”
“Just humor me will ya? You can fall asleep on the couch.” She holds up her prized possession, “I’ve got 50 Shades of Grey waiting for us,” she sings to me.
“You’ve seen that movie like a hundred times, aren’t you tired of it?”
“Never! Jamie Dornan being all dom? Hell yes! Go get ready!” She slaps my butt and moves off the bed.
I groan into my pillow. “You really need to get a job.”
“Yeah, yeah, later...go, sister!” She shouts while walking into the living room.
She is not going to let me get away so easily, so I get my ass up and get dressed in my pj’s. My phone was buzzing inside my purse. Danny, I think to myself. I turn the screen on and grin like a giddy school girl. “Concert was amazing!” I bite my bottom lip, wishing he was here already. One more day and he will be.
WE SET OFF TOGETHER WHEN it was summer, now it’s winter and getting closer to Christmas. Coming back home is surreal. Our lives have dramatically changed since our first week on tour. The entire country now knows who JINKS is. In addition, our first song, Shattered, has been number one in the country for over six weeks, it’s completely mindblowing. Lyric, our manager, was the first one to bring us the good news. The guys and I have been on top of the world ever since. I’m not sure how to come down from this high when we’ve been on the road for so long.
As we’re pulling up in the studio parking lot, I look out the side window and see a small crowd waiting for us. One person in particular - Harmony. She’s next to Faith’s mom looking incredibly beautiful, just the way I remember her. She’s got on blue, skinny jeans, a light black sweater over a white tank and a pair of sunglasses covering her gorgeous eyes, but a smile that I have never seen before. She’s amazingly breathtaking. Once I get out of this bus I’m going to show the world how much I want her. I’m going to go straight toward her and match my lips against hers, she’ll never see it coming.
The bus has finally stopped and the first thing Wayne does when he opens the door is shout out, “Yes! San Diego! We are back to rule the city!” His arm is pumped in the air and the crowd goes insane. I have a feeling we’re going to get attacked.
Slim pushes Wayne. “Come on douche, get out!”
I’m the last one out; we sign autographs, get our picture taken and have interviews with the local news stations.
Once that is all over I see and hear Faith running up to her mom and Harmony. “Mom! Harmony!” Then I see her hug June. “Oh my God, June!”
As I am finally making my way over to Harmony, Wayne beats me to her. I come to a screeching halt when he sweeps her up into his arms and plants a huge kiss on her lips. “Hey, baby I’ve missed you!” He adds a grab to her ass and shouts out, “Love this ass!”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Harmony and Wayne? She actuall
y had a good time on their date? Why would she waste her time texting me when all along they had a thing for each other? Hell, I ruined any chance for us to being together when I pushed her away. I’m a fucking idiot! It kills me that she chose him. He’s going to break her heart, splatter it into a million pieces, because he won’t know how to stay committed to her; he already slept with dozens of women on tour.
I’ve got to get the fuck out of here. I can’t stand here and watch him fondle her in front of everyone. I’m going to be sick. “You comin’ Luck?” I ask, clenching my jaw.
“No...I’ll be going back to Faith’s.”
I had a feeling he was going to stay there. Things are definitely changing pretty quickly for all of us. I just may end up looking for a new place soon. I bump fists with Lucky, Slim and Jason, then give June a hug goodbye. I was sorry to hear she and Phillip lost the baby a few weeks back. It must have been a tough time for her. Overall she seems pretty happy now. I guess her and Phillip are an item now? However odd their hookup is….I’m happy for her..
Watching everyone together I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden I have to get away from here. I can’t stand looking at Wayne any longer, grabbing onto the woman I so desperately want.
I quickly start walking to my van when Harmony catches up to me. “Hey! Wait up!” She hops in front of me, takes off her sunglasses and smiles so big that I believe it’s going to be the death of me. “I’m really glad you guys are back,” she proclaims.
I keep our distance by moving a few inches back, then stuff my hands inside my pockets just so I won’t yank her into my arms. Even from here I can smell her perfume. Hot damn the breeze just blew her scent right inside of me, it’s in there to torture me. With an unfriendly manner and some attitude I say, “Yeah, looks like it.” I take my eyes off from hers and look down.
“Uh….well, um -”
“I’m beat, ready to get home..nap,” I shrug.
She nervously chuckles, “Sure...of course.”
We stand in an awkward silence, not knowing what else to say to one another.
“Babe!” Wayne shouts.
The tension in my neck, when he calls her babe, tightens. I really need to leave. I look directly into her hypnotizing brown eyes and say, “Your boyfriend is calling you.” I’m a smartass when I emphasize the word boyfriend.
She wrings her fingers together and suggests, “Uh...I’ll text you later?”
I shake my head and sigh. “Harmony….no..please, stop bugging me,” I clip at her.
She blinks and looks confused. “I what?”
I’ve got to keep this reserved wall up for her. The last thing I want to do is get in between her and Wayne, no matter how much it’s going to kill me seeing them together; she’ll find out sooner or later how wrong he is for her. I brush my shoulder along with hers and closely say into her ear, “Look, do me a favor….don’t text me again. Erase my number.” I walk away without turning around to see if I’ve hurt her or not. What a complete idiot I am! I left completely alone, feeling like shit, while everyone else is raving, exploding with happiness.
As I get closer to my van, the young girls behind the fence are screaming my name, asking for my picture and autograph. I really don’t have it in me to put on a smiling face for them, however this is my life now and I need to keep my fans happy; I sign a few posters, CD’s and allow them to take some selfies with me. I say my thanks and head home.
Driving home I notice the paparazzi are right behind me. They’re going to figure out where I live which will not be good. I take a few backroads to mislead them, but it doesn’t work. They’re onto me, and doing everything they can to take pictures of me. Every time I speed up, they speed up, it’s no use. I shouldn’t have gone off by myself. I should have played it smart and taken a bodyguard with me. Once I reach my apartment I quickly get out of my van and race to the doors leading upstairs. The paparazzi are all over me, asking me questions about Wayne and that bombshell brunette he was smacking face with. I don’t say anything and make it up to my apartment without punching someone in the face. How the hell am I going to get away from these guys? They are crazy sonsofabitches.
If things couldn’t get worse for me, my apartment reeks of stale food, dirty clothes and mold. I won’t be surprised if we have critters living here, it’s disgusting. I open all the windows and air out the place, hoping that the stench will go away. I am dead tired, but I clean the entire apartment anyways. I work up an appetite and order a pizza. Too bad I don’t have a case of beer, I have craving for one. No way can I up and go to the liquor store so easily anymore, not with the fucktards downstairs. I’ll just have to wait till tomorrow, hoping they’ll be gone in the morning.
After I put myself in a pizza coma, I immediately go crash into my bed - nothing like being in the comfort and familiarity of my own bed.
Next thing I know my cell is ringing. What can a guy do to get any sleep! I lazily reach for the phone - it’s 9:00 in the morning and Lucky is calling me. Why isn’t he still asleep? “What?” I grouchily mumble.
“Sorry to wake you Danny-boy, but Faith is asking for you to come over...look over your dad’s will.”
I roll over onto my back and rub my eyes. “Dude, not today. I’m exhausted,” I groan.
I can hear Lucky exhale. “Look...you have to sign some stuff for this shit.”
“Couldn’t we wait till later? Come on, Luck, we just got home.”
“I know, man, I know, but this cannot wait. Can you come over in a couple hours?”
The last thing I want to do, on my first morning home is deal with this mess and to see Faith. One day, just one fucking day I’d really love it if I didn’t have to see her face.
Again the paparazzi were on my tail. I tried to not let them get to me. I know this is how it’s going to be from now on, but this week I am definitely looking for a new place and adding security if need be.
Montgomery Suites. I haven’t been here since the night…..since the night Harmony and I danced. How I wish I could relive that night all over again. I wouldn’t push her away, instead I would -
“Hi,” Harmony says, cutting me off from my delusional thoughts.
I’m standing in the middle of the lobby, gazing around when she appears out of nowhere wearing a red hot, skin tight dress. I can see every curve on her body, my dick immediately hardens and my mouth starts to water. She is gorgeous. I can’t take my eyes off of her, but I have to keep my wall up and forget about what I want to do to her right now.
I fix the orange beanie that is on my head, stuff my hands in my jacket and reply, “Hey.”
She clasps her fingers together and stands poised and professional. It’s almost like we’re two strangers now, it’s weird. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?”
“Stop,” I snap at her, adding on the attitude. “Don’t be all sweet to me alright?”
Her brown eyes suddenly go from milk chocolate to dark chocolate. She slowly folds her arms together. “For your information I was doing what I normally do for our guests….being polite, unlike you,” she responds icily.
I exhale, knowing I offended and insulted her. I feel like a real jackass right now. “Har - “
“Miss Montgomery would like you to see her up in her suite. You remember where it’s located, correct?” She cocks her head to the side. “It is, after all, the place you slept your drunken ass off the night of that dinner, remember? Have a good day….Mr. Jay,” she whips herself around and walks off with a nice sway in her ass. Although I don’t appreciate her drudging up that horrible night, I still got to see a great view of her ass - and damn it’s beautiful.
After Lucky lets me into the suite we do our usual fist bump, then say a few words about how I need to find a new place to live; looks as if he and Faith are definitely moving in together. I told him that the paparazzi are going to be a problem and that we need to start discussing bodyguards. He agrees with me because the paps were all over him as well last night.
All of a
sudden I’m feeling very claustrophobic as I see Helene step out of the guest bathroom. My chest feels tight like there is a brick building on top of me. I really don’t want to be here. Seeing that woman again….the rage I have for her bothers the hell out of me and I hate how I can’t control it.
Faith doesn’t say anything to me, instead she goes to the couch, sits down and crosses her legs. She smiles the second Lucky sits by her; he puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her on the forehead. He really does fucking love her. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got hitched in the next few months, he loves her so much.