Love You Now (Book Two: Love Hurts Duet)

by M. Robinson

  “It’s kinda hard not to. We’re both in the limelight. Your face and name are known everywhere.”

  “Cash! Cash! Over here!” fans shouted from behind us as his bodyguards worked crowd control. Cameras flashing from all directions, trying to get the perfect shot of the motherfucker in front of me.

  Tabloids would be losing their shit tomorrow. I could see the headlines now, “Jackson Pierce and Cash McGraw caught in a heated argument.”

  I didn’t give a flying fuck, ignoring the press and his groupies, I snarled, “You know Harley’s my wife?”

  With his eyes still on me, he slowly nodded.

  “And we have a baby girl.”

  “I ain’t here to have a pissin’ contest over Harley.”

  “Cash will you sign my tits?” one of the linebacker’s girlfriends slurred from the crowd, pushing against the guards to let her by.

  He didn’t pay her any mind.

  “Yeah, like you give two fucks about her.”

  “Don’t go there, man.” He firmly shook his head. “You think I wanna be here for this bullshit? Dealin’ wit’ you in my fuckin’ face? You think this is the way I’d wanna see either of you, after all these years?”

  “I don’t give a fuck what you think, or about your contract. You should have gotten fuckin’ sued rather than show your face on my fuckin’ turf. Besides, you can afford it. You’re Cash McGraw, right? Fuckin’ pussy.”

  He stepped right into my face.

  I didn’t hesitate in spewing, “Of all the songs you could sing, you picked that one? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  “It was in the contract. I had no say. But I don’t got time for your bullshit. I gotta plane to catch. Now get the fuck out of my way.”

  “Well, you’re gonna make time. I’m not done with you yet.”

  “Fuckin’ A!” he snapped. “I never lied to anyone ’bout what I wanted in life. Especially Harley. You think it was easy for me? For everyone, includin’ my parents, my father, turnin’ their backs on me ’cuz I didn’t go down the path they wanted.”

  “Harley always believed in you, and don’t you ever fuckin’ forget that.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me with remorse written all over his face. “What do ya want me to say, Quarterback? You won the girl. Is that what you need to hear?”

  “Cash! Cash! Cash!” the room chanted.

  Unable to hold it in any longer, I demanded, “Were you in love with her? Are you still?”

  His jaw clenched as he tugged his hair back. “I see you haven’t changed, still insecure as always.”

  “Answer my fuckin’ question, McGraw.”

  “And what if I don’t? Huh? What are you gonna do?”

  “I’ll beat it the fuck out of you.”

  “Jackson, I wasn’t scared of you then, and I ain’t scared of you now. I won’t ask you again, get the fuck outta my way. I need to go.”

  “She always deserved better than you,” I scoffed out, seething. “I never understood why she loved you so fuckin’ much. I still don’t. ’Cuz the man I see standing in front of me is nothing but a little bitch with his dick tucked in between his legs. You may have had her fooled back then, but now she knows what you’re really made of. Run, pussy boy, it’s what you do best.”

  With that, I turned and left. However he stopped me dead in tracks.

  Finally revealing, “Harley was ... is my best friend. I love her like a sister. I never meant to hurt her, and I have to live with that every day. You don’t know a damn thing ’bout me. What I go through knowin’ I turned my back on her to make my dreams come true. Except, the only life I’m livin’ is the hell created for myself, so fuck you.”

  From the corner of my eye through the swarm of people, I saw Harley walking back into the venue.

  Insistent on ending this, I threatened, “If you ever come near her again, I’ll break your fuckin’ hands. Try to play your precious guitar then. Do you understand me?” Meaning every last word, I turned to face him, but he was already gone. As if he’d never been there to begin with.

  “Cash, don’t go!”

  “We love you, Cash!”

  “Cash! Cash! Cash!”

  Trying to collect myself, I caught my bearings before walking back over to Harley. Her back was to me, and I instantly pulled her into my arms.

  Needing to feel her warmth.

  Her comfort.

  Her love.

  “Please don’t let him ruin our night,” I whispered in her ear.

  “Jackson...”

  “Please, Harley. I’m begging you.”

  She spun herself in my arms, immediately pushing me away. Killing me inside.

  “I can’t. Not right now,” she stressed. “I just want to go.” Her guard back in full effect. Like I didn’t just have her eating out of the palm of my hand.

  Even after all these years, all this time.

  That motherfucker...

  Was still taking her away from me.

  Chapter 20

  <>Jackson<>

  Then: Almost twenty-one-years-old

  Teddy ran to me. Excited as could be when he heard me walk through the door of my apartment. His momma, on the other hand, was shaking her ass to the beat of the music blaring off the speakers of my stereo system.

  She was cleaning the windows on my sliding glass doors. From top to bottom, swaying her luscious hips from side-to-side. Dropping her ass to the floor to get those hard to reach places.

  It didn’t matter how many times I told her to stop cleaning up after me, she never listened. Saying some shit about me being a stinky boy from all my football equipment, and my pile of laundry that consisted of sweaty, dirty ass athletic wear.

  She was adamant if she was going to be spending her time at my place, it needed to smell nice and fresh.

  Her words, not mine.

  It was the last semester before I started my senior year of college. Harley was going into her junior year, attending the same university as me. Shiloh and Harley lived together in the dorms. While Trigger lived in his fraternity house with half of the football team and his frat brothers.

  The girls wanted to get their own apartment, but Harley’s old man shit a brick. After spending most of her senior year of high school telling him she was moving to Tennessee for college, he finally got it through his thick Jameson skull she was leaving the nest.

  Although, it was on his terms.

  She had to live in the girls-only dorms, with security guards and a curfew. The first few months were rough, she had to be back in her building before midnight. Until one day, she made friends with one of the housing supervisors. And now, the mother hen couldn’t care less what time Harley stumbled in.

  The little shit rigged her phone in the dorm room to call her cell phone instead. Even after two years of living on her own, The Prez still called her every night at exactly midnight to make sure her ass was safe in bed.

  When in reality, she spent most of her time at my place. Frequently spending the night in my bed.

  In my arms.

  With my cock inside of her.

  If her old man found out, I was certain he’d put me to ground, lodging a bullet in my dick and then my head.

  He still fuckin’ hated me. More so now than ever before. Especially when Harley followed me to Tennessee.

  However, she refused to admit that.

  I leaned against the wall and watched her dance unannounced. Pulling out my phone from my back pocket, I started recording her like I often did.

  Harley was always my favorite content to watch.

  She was fuckin’ adorable and all mine.

  We didn’t put labels on our relationship, we didn’t have to. We belonged to each other, always had, always would.

  Teddy barked, loud and clear, ratting out I was there. She abruptly turned around, finding me with my phone up in the air.

  Shaking her head, she smiled. “One of these days I am gonna torture you until you let me see all the videos you have
of me on your phone, you creeper.”

  I chuckled, making my way over to the couch to take a seat. Prepared for Teddy’s fat ass to jump up right beside me. Happy his daddy was home from practice.

  “Or,” I stated, scratching behind his ears. “You could just ask me.”

  “Oh ... does that mean you’ll show me?”

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you come here and find out?”

  She beamed, and it lit up her entire face. Sitting on my lap with her legs bent and her arms wrapped my neck, she purred, “So ... Rudolph, what videos do you have of me on your phone?” Kissing my lips.

  “I can’t show you when you’re kissing me.”

  “Fine,” she whimpered, rubbing her nose against mine.

  “You know what, baby girl?”

  “Hmm...”

  “Guys like me need girls like you to kiss them.”

  She smirked. “Now you’re feedin’ me lines. You must have some good shit of me on there.”

  “Here.” I handed her my phone. “See for yourself.”

  She arched an eyebrow, surprised. “Is this a trick?”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “You’re not touchin’ my butthole, Jackson.”

  I laughed, I couldn’t help it.

  “Your willy can barely fit in the hole it’s supposed to go in.”

  “That’s ’cuz you have a tiny, tight, little pussy.”

  “No, it’s ’cuz you have a big, thick dick.”

  I kissed along her neckline, stopping when my lips were above her pulse point. “Is that right?”

  “If you keep doing that you’re gonna have to take me to bed, and you still have two more weeks of training before we can do it again.”

  “You horny, baby?”

  “Duh! We haven’t had sex in over two months. I’m dyin’ here. I hate your coaches. Like for real hate them. Are they not gettin’ laid durin’ trainin’ season too?”

  I chuckled. “I need the testosterone, Harley. The focus, the anger, the drive. It’s what makes me play like a champion on the field. And a god in the bedroom. How many times in the last two months have I made you come with my tongue and fingers? Baby girl is still getting her happy endings.”

  “It’s not the same. I love it when we have happy endings together.”

  “Two more weeks, Gremlin, and I’ll make you come on my cock all night.”

  “Well, you’re gonna have to use your mouth right now if you keep going.”

  Before I could kiss my way toward her tits to do exactly that, she grabbed the phone out of my hand. Typed in my passcode, which was her birthday, and went right to my files.

  Cocking her head to the side, she started opening the one titled Muse. Video upon video along with photos of her came alive on the glass screen.

  All beginning when we were kids, after I learned about my mom.

  “Oh my God... Jackson, there’re hundreds of videos and photos of me here.”

  I bit her pulse. “You’re my favorite thing to look at.”

  “Jackson!” she shouted in my ear.

  “And now I’m deaf.”

  “You have videos of me showerin’ and of us havin’ sex!”

  “Relax, they’re just for me.”

  “You’re such a creeper! I can’t believe you!” She went to get off my lap, but I held her down. “Let go. You’re not my favorite person right now.”

  “When am I ever your favorite person?”

  “That’s not funny. I don’t like you right now. We’re not friends.”

  “Baby girl, you’ve swallowed my come and sat on my face more times than I can remember. We’re way past friends.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Obviously I don’t, but if you call me your friend again, you’re going to find out really fuckin’ quick that my cock can fit into your ass.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Don’t fuck with me.”

  “Fine,” she repeated. “You’re not my boyfriend right now.”

  “Boyfriend? I like the sound of that.”

  “Ugh! You’re bein’ all cute, and I’m tryin’ to be mad at you.”

  “If I make you squirt down my face, will you love me again?”

  “I don’t love you now. If you wanted to make a porn, you could have just asked me.”

  “Porn is fake. What we do is real.”

  “So what? You have them for your spank bank?”

  I hid back a smile. I loved it when she was mad.

  “Before you get all pissed and try to knee me in the balls, keep looking.”

  Reluctantly, she did. Finding files titled, Mom, Dad, Jagger, school, Sunday barbeques, Journey, family, and so on. The list was endless of what I had on my phone.

  “Why do you have all these? I don’t understand.”

  “I just want to be prepared.”

  “For what?”

  I looked deep into her eyes and spoke the truth, “For when I forget everybody I care about.”

  <>Harley<>

  Then: Almost twenty years old

  I gasped, my eyes instantly filling up with tears.

  “Oh my god.” The wind was knocked out of me. “Did you look at the results? Do you have it?”

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I couldn’t fuckin’ breathe.

  “Baby girl.” He kissed away my tears. “I don’t know. I haven’t looked at them.”

  I didn’t waver, slapping him as hard as I could on the chest.

  “Ow!”

  “You fuckin’ asshole!” I hit him again. “Don’t ever do that to me!”

  And again.

  “Stop hitting me.”

  “No! You deserve it!”

  “Harley, you need to learn how to control your short Jameson fuse.”

  “You need to learn how to not piss me off!”

  He grabbed my wrists and pinned my back against the couch, holdin’ me down.

  “This isn’t helpin’ the not pissin’ me off!”

  “Gremlin, relax.”

  “No! You suck!”

  “No, actually, you suck.”

  “Stop makin’ everythin’ sexual! My heart just stopped. I thought you read the results.”

  “And you think this is the way I’d be telling you?”

  “I don’t know. You’re lettin’ me look at your files. Maybe it was your way of breakin’ the ice before you dropped it on my head.”

  “Harley, you know me better than that.”

  “Don’t do that to me again. Promise.”

  He wiped away another tear that slid out of the corner of my eye. “Babe, stop crying. I’m here, so is my mind.”

  “Jackson, when are you gonna look at the results. You can’t keep livin’ like this.”

  “I’m living just fine. My girl’s here with me.”

  “Rudolph, I can’t keep livin’ like this.”

  He grimaced. It was quick, but I saw it. “I have no control over my future. Do you have any idea how hard that is for me? I survive on it. This is the only control I have over this situation. If or when it happens, I want to be able to look back on these memories, so it doesn’t feel like I lived my life for nothing. For no one.”

  More tears slid down the sides of my face.

  “You were the first person I started recording and taking pictures of. I didn’t even realize I was doing it for the longest time. It became second nature for me. Watching you on the screen of my phone.”

  “You’re makin’ me cry.”

  “You’re making yourself cry.”

  “I had no idea you had all those files. Does anyone else know?”

  He shook his head no. “They’re backed up on my computer, just in case something happens to my phone.”

  “Do you think you have it?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out.”

  “Why?”

  “’Cuz I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You’d never lose m
e. I’d stick by your side through anythin’. Please tell me you know that.”

  He nodded. “I wouldn’t be able to stick by yours.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Why?”

  “I care about you too much to let you watch me die.”

  My hand shot up to my mouth, feelin’ like I was gonna puke.

  “I would never be able to put you through what I went through with my mother.”

  “Jackson...”

  “She forgot me first, Harley. I was her favorite, like you’re mine.”

  My heart was breaking to hear his admission. The air from my lungs had literally been sucked out of me, and my heart was shattering, breaking with shards of glass that were etching their way into my skin and leaving scars in their wake. Wounds caused by my boy’s words.

  “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

  “Then why does it feel like you are.”

  His jaw clenched, searching my eyes for somethin’ I would happily hand over to him if he asked.

  “There were times when she was still my mom, sitting there, looking at me. Showing me her love. Then she was gone. Nothing left of her. Dementia took everything from her, even the love in her eyes. She would look at me like I was a stranger, not her son that she brought into this world. I can’t look at you like that.”

  “Jackson—”

  “Over time, I started looking at her the same way. It would kill me if you looked at me any other way than you are right now. Do you understand me?”

  “What do you see in my eyes?”

  “A future.”

  “What do you see in yours?”

  “A man who might not have one.”

  “Rudolph, I love you. And that means lovin’ every last part of you. The good and the bad. No matter the results of that test, I’ll love you. I’ll stand by you. I’ll watch those videos with you.” I burst into tears. “Prayin’, hopin’, you’ll remember me, but if you don’t ... then it won’t matter. ’Cuz I’ll remember you, and no one can take that away from us. Not even you.”

  His eyes watered.

  I’d only seen him cry once, and yet it didn’t compare to what was occurin’ right in front of my eyes at this moment.

  “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  “Please just let me be here for you.”