Worth The Battle (Heaven Hill Series)

by Briscoe, Laramie

  It was as if he flipped a switch, he came out of that blackout zone. The tears stopped and his voice went back to normal.

  “Her lying to me has stayed with me. Then there was an incident towards the end of my deployment that’s stayed with me too. We were in a huge firefight, and another one of my friends was killed right next to me. That’s where I sustained the damage to my leg.”

  “Wow,” she said, leaning forward when he went to get up.

  “I know, so much happened over there in a year, and I just wasn’t equipped to handle it all. Then I come back here, and everybody wants me to be the same person I was when I left. Well, the Layne O’Connor that left wasn’t the man who got friends killed and cared more about fucking some chick in the war zone than he did if he was going to come back at all. The Layne that left here actually gave a damn, and this one,” he said as he beat his chest, “just doesn’t. I don’t care about anything.”

  “That’s a lie and we both know that. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t feel so bad about what you did there, especially what you did with another woman. I think you don’t want to care, so it’s easier for you to let people believe that you don’t.”

  “You’re kind of scary, how smart you are,” he complimented her.

  “I have a degree,” she answered dryly. “What I’m concerned about with you, Layne, is your anger. You’re right, you weren’t justified in the anger that you experienced today because you didn’t know how to get hold of Jessica.”

  “I just snap so easily,” he breathed deeply. “I don’t want to, but I do.”

  “It’s a symptom, but it’s one you’re going to have to learn to control.”

  “How the fuck am I going to do that?”

  She raised her eyebrow at him. “By doing what you did today, removing yourself from the situation, seeing me if you have to. Anger is good in some instances, and I’m not telling you to let it go altogether, but you can’t be getting pissed at Jessica because she went on a shopping trip with friends and she didn’t clear it with you first. There’s a name for men like that.”

  He knew where she was coming from. He didn’t want to be an abuser, ever, and he knew without a doubt that if he didn’t get this taken care of, he was heading down that road right now. “What do you suggest?”

  “The same way you go to that dark place, Layne, you need to learn to go to a good place. When it gets to be too much for you, close your eyes and go to a beautiful place that you can remember easily. A place where you were completely and utterly happy.”

  He didn’t escape the irony when he realized that place was with Jessica.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Thank you so much for inviting me,” Jessica told Bianca and Meredith as the three of them sat at dinner after their marathon shopping trip. It had been nice being with them, away from the clubhouse, but nice also being a friend on a day trip with other friends. “I haven’t done that, just for the fun of it, in a very long time.”

  “Why not?” Bianca asked as she took a bite of the appetizer they had ordered. “Don’t people, like, pay you to come shop in their stores? Just because of who you are?”

  “Yeah,” she answered. “That’s the thing; I haven’t done hardly anything for just the fun of it in so long. I was beginning to wonder if I had it in me anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I went out with a couple of girls just for the hell of it. Usually we go out together so the paparazzi can be called and they can get a picture of all of us together. Then they can talk about how good of friends we are one week and the next week they can make up stories about how one of us slept with the other one’s boyfriend. It’s a slippery slope that we navigate in the entertainment business.”

  “I couldn’t do it,” Bianca told the women as she took a drink of the Jack and Coke both she and Jessica had ordered. She swallowed and waited a moment before she continued. “I kissed ass for a lot of years and would be fake when I had to be, but I couldn’t do that all the damn time.”

  “It does get old,” Jessica admitted. That was something she couldn’t say in her everyday life. No one would understand where she was coming from and call her crazy if she even mumbled those words. “You start to wonder if people even care about you or if they just care because they can be seen with you. It’s a weird business. One that, if I had to do it over again, I probably wouldn’t get into.”

  Meredith laughed from where she sat. “It’s so funny that you say that because I’ve been thinking the same thing about my chosen profession.”

  Jessica watched as the other two women exchanged a look. It wasn’t a pleasant look, but that didn’t keep her from being curious. She wanted to ask, to see why they shared what they did, but figured it wasn’t her business. If there was one thing she didn’t want to do in this little group of friends she had found, it was offend or force herself upon them. “So if you could do anything in the world, what would be your dream job?”

  “I would be a teacher,” Bianca answered, shrugging her shoulders. “There’s nothing else in this world I’ve ever wanted to do. I want to let kids know that there are other options than just the same old, same old. I wish someone had done that for me. Some people feel called to do things, and that’s what I’m called to do. I’m going to be living my dream come August.” She looked pointedly at Meredith.

  “I’m still trying to figure it out,” Meredith admitted, sighing. She knew what she wanted to do, but she was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen for her. “I have my communications degree, and there are literally a blue million things I could do with it, but I’m just not sure I want to.”

  “Then what do you want to do?” Jessica questioned as she took a bite of her food. “If there was absolutely anything—even trade places with me for the day?”

  The table got quiet as Meredith thought about the question, and it was obvious that she was struggling as she bit her bottom lip. “I would be a mom,” she said quietly. “I would be a mom, and I would work at the battered women’s shelter and children’s home in town so that little kids wouldn’t have to grow up without parents. Tyler did that for most of his life, and it breaks my heart.”

  The mood that had once been jovial shifted slightly with her admission. Jessica knew she had to cut the tension, and if that meant she had to share a secret about herself, she would do it. “I’d be an erotic romance author,” she blurted out.

  Liquid went flying from her left, landing on her arm as Bianca spit out the drink she had just taken. Meredith began beating on her chest to dislodge the food she had just eaten and sucked down her windpipe.

  Bianca recovered first. “You would what?”

  Now this was the embarrassment she had hoped to avoid. “Be an erotic romance writer, if I could,” she said again.

  “Like…” Meredith started and then stopped, blinking rapidly, trying to find the words that she wanted to say. “Fuck it. Do you have something that I could read? I’m an avid reader.”

  That was it, Jessica snort laughed. “Oh my God,” she giggled.

  “What?” Meredith glanced over.

  Bianca grinned from where she sat. “You have to admit, you were very quick to ask her if you could read her stuff. Do you like to read that smut, Blackfoot? Are you holding out on me? Do you and Tyler act out scenes?” she teased.

  “Maybe, but what I’m really getting at here is…can I read it?”

  She had already gotten herself into this, and Jessica knew there was absolutely no way she was going to get out of it. By trying to be closer to these two women, she had opened her mouth and stuck her foot in it. “I’ll let you read some in a few days.”

  “You say that now, but we’ll get back home and you’ll get busy and you won’t let me. I’ll have to sick my big, bad, hubby on you.”

  “If she’s writin’ smut then maybe she’d enjoy it,” Bianca giggled.

  The three of them busted into laughter that caused other patrons of the restaurant to take notice. They tried
to quieten down, but the more they tried to stop laughing, the louder they became.

  “We better get our check and get out of here,” Jessica laughed. “I would hate for you ladies to get kicked out of an eatery with an actress who’s trying to keep herself out of the limelight.”

  Meredith giggled, holding her hand over her mouth. “I just had a thought. You can totally stay out of the limelight… in Layne’s bed,” she grinned. “Acting out the scenes that you’ve written or getting inspiration for the next ones.”

  Her face a bright red, Jessica threw her napkin at the other woman. “Just shut it!”

  The ride back to Bowling Green was peaceful as the three of them hit I-65 North. Jessica sat in the back of the truck, the other two women up front. It was nice to be by herself for a little while, especially given the secret she’d told them. She hadn’t meant for that to slip out, but when she had seen the look pass between Bianca and Meredith, she knew something had happened with the two of them in the past and she wanted to let them know she trusted them. There was something about these people—her writing had been one of her most closely guarded secrets for years, and she had just blurted it out. Instead of making her feel stupid, though, it freed her. Maybe they were right. Maybe she needed to hide away in the clubhouse, write her stories, and live her life. Maybe that would make her happy.

  Stretching her legs out, she thought of Layne. He usually occupied her thoughts when she had down time—especially in a car. They had spent so much time together in a car when he had been in the military. When she came to see him for the weekends, he always had a car. Didn’t matter that he didn’t actually own one, he had always found one to take her around in. They loved going someplace quiet, parking, and just talking. She missed that. When they got back, she was going to ask him if they could do that again. No matter what had gone on between the two of them, she missed how it used to be. She wanted to get back there; she wanted to spend time with him in a place where they both felt safe.

  “You okay back there?” Bianca asked, turning in her seat.

  “Yeah, just enjoying the ride.”

  “I love the ride from Bowling Green to Nashville and back. I don’t know why, but it’s my favorite. I love coming up on Nashville and seeing the hustle and bustle, and then when you leave, you hit the top of that hill right at the Highland Rim Speedway exit and you know you’re getting closer to Kentucky. It’s always a nice trip for me—except for the traffic.”

  Jessica could see why she loved it so much. There weren’t concrete barriers everywhere. You could actually see both sides of the road; you could see trees and in some places nothing else. One day that would be replaced with “progress”, but it was so nice to not see bumper-to-bumper traffic and smell gas fumes. She realized that if she wanted to, she really could get used to life here. Going this whole day without her cell phone hadn’t even been a burden. It had been nice. It had been quiet, and it had been far less stressful than most of her days were.

  “This is an amazing little drive,” she said as she shifted in her seat, turning behind her to pop her back.

  As she turned, she noticed a group of motorcycles coming up on their left.

  “Wonder who these guys are?”

  Both Jessica and Meredith glanced over, both looking at the group of about fifteen guys on bikes.

  “Can’t see their colors or patches.” Bianca squinted, but it was too dark to make out details, especially with the tint that Tyler had on his windows.

  For some reason Jessica began to feel uneasy. The only guy on a motorcycle she had any affiliation with was Layne. “They seem to be getting closer.”

  Just when Jessica would have said something else, they blew past the truck. The two lead guys stuck out a hand in acknowledgement. Jessica couldn’t tell if it was exactly a wave or something else.

  “Well, what the fuck are the Vojnik doing down here?” Bianca asked, glancing over at Meredith. “Maybe we should call one of the guys?”

  “You call,” Meredith told her. “Jagger is a little less apt to get pissed and beat some ass than Tyler would be.”

  Jessica wondered who the Vojnik were and what it mattered where they were, but she decided not to question it as Bianca spoke to her boyfriend on the phone. It was a phone call that was filled with a lot of nodding and eye rolling on Bianca’s part. Finally, she flung it in the cup holder.

  “They’re meeting us,” she blew out a deep breath.

  “Well, if they meet us, that means they’re going to meet them first,” Meredith argued.

  “Exactly what I said, but Jagger said that they wouldn’t even share words; they’re still in the middle of their truce. They just want a show of force.”

  “That makes no sense,” Jessica said quietly from the back seat.

  “Welcome to our world,” Bianca blew out another loud breath. “Where respect is measured by the size of your dick and how loud your bike revs. It’s just something that you learn to live with. Guarantee you they’ll be caught up with us in less than twenty minutes. They are probably breakin’ every speed limit law as they come out of Warren County.”

  Desperate to break the tension yet again, Jessica grinned. “That’s something y’all have in common, huh?”

  “You sure you aren’t a comedy actress? You’re pretty funny when you need to be.”

  “Nope, but acting in comedies would have made things a hell of a lot easier.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “Shit, they’re waiting on the side of the road,” Meredith laughed.

  Jessica scooted so that she sat in between the two front seats, leaning on the console. “Can they just do that? Sit in that construction zone where it says ‘no U-turn’?”

  Bianca grinned. “You’ll find out with these guys, they kinda just do what they want.”

  Meredith sighed as she flipped on her emergency lights and pulled off at the exit that proclaimed itself the Natcher Parkway.

  “Umm, how are we going to get back on the interstate?” Jessica asked.

  “It’s one of those that you can drive through if you take the wrong exit. It’s got direct access. They’ll just block it for anyone coming off the Parkway trying to get onto I-65, but hopefully we won’t even have to deal with that tonight,” Bianca explained.

  They parked and waited for Tyler, Jagger, and Layne to make their way over to the truck. Meredith reluctantly let down the window and watched for the big Native American to make his way over.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he flirted, as he sauntered up the vehicle. “You have a little trouble?”

  She rolled her eyes and gave him a saucy smile. “We had no trouble until we decided to call you boys and, as a courtesy, let you know that we had some company.”

  He reached into the window and grasped her under the chin. “You ladies did the right thing. Just because we have a shaky, at best, agreement with the Vojnik right now, doesn’t mean we can let our guard down.”

  “So what did they want?” Bianca asked from where she sat.

  Jagger smiled from where he stood behind Tyler. “Not a damn thing, just wanted us to see them. I’m figurin’ we’ll hear more from them when they’re ready to let us know what they have up their sleeve.”

  For some reason none of the women in the truck believed the words that came out of his mouth.

  Jessica jumped when someone tapped on the back window where she sat. Turning to face it, she saw Layne standing outside. Meredith had shut the truck off, so she reached over and opened the door. “Hey.”

  He chanced a glance over at the other two guys. “While they’re flirting with their women, I figured I would come over here and talk to you.”

  She visibly swallowed. It wasn’t that she was nervous to be around him, but it was still slightly awkward between the two of them. “Do they flirt a lot?”

  “Too much,” he admitted. Layne cleared his throat. “Really the reason I came over here was to see if you wanted to go for a ride with me? I have some things to say to you, and I
would much rather do it without everyone around to listen to it.”

  Did she want to go someplace with him where there weren’t people around? Was she comfortable with that? Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she thought about it for a few seconds “Okay,” she nodded. “I’ll go with you.”

  He held his hand out to her, palm turned upward.

  She looked at it for a second before putting her hand in his, grasping the leather that he wore over his hand.

  Talk at the front of the truck stopped. “Hey,” Bianca yelled. “Where are you going?”

  “I convinced her to come with me instead of hanging out with you bad influences,” Layne joked. Something he wasn’t used to doing anymore, but that little moment of carefreeness, it felt good.

  “Bad influences?” Meredith asked. “She’s the bad influence. You watch that she doesn’t make you the lead character in her scenes.”

  “Would you shut up?” Jessica shouted as quietly as possible.

  “What does she mean?” Layne asked, looking back over his shoulder at her.

  She trailed slightly behind him, still clasping his hand in hers. “Nothing, she’s crazy.”

  Layne gave her a raised eyebrow, but said nothing. They got to his bike, and he handed her a helmet. “Maybe you can get on this time with a little more grace than last time.”

  “Layne O’Connor, a real gentleman would not have mentioned that,” she huffed, gathering her bearings about her to attempt this without making a fool of herself.

  He steadied the bike for her and held her arm as she got on the back. “Never said I was a gentleman,” he told her before getting on in front of her. “You better hold on tight.”

  She squealed as he took off, causing her hands to grip tightly against his cut, her arms to squeeze around his ribs. A part of her didn’t want to squeeze too hard, afraid of what it might do to him. The other part wanted to squeeze the life out of him, to show him that she wasn’t going to give up on him. She wasn’t going to let him go, but in the end, she held on not for him, but for herself.