Worth The Battle (Heaven Hill Series)

by Briscoe, Laramie

  Layne focused on what Doc Jones had told him. When he got twitchy, he should remember his happy place. His breathing picked up speed as she squeezed her arms tightly around him, holding on when they took a turn too fast. In a flash, his mind went back to a weekend they had spent together, her arms around him in a hug before she left. His breathing leveled as he thought about it that way. It wasn’t suffocating, it was comforting, and he knew that was his way of dealing with this. That was his way of figuring out how to turn that part of his brain off that allowed him to go to those hurtful places.

  He had driven them further down the road and into the county than she had ever been. They passed Sugar Maple Square and hit Highway 185 at a rate of speed that made her stomach tickle. It was difficult for her not to laugh from the way her stomach dropped when he would take a hill. It was like riding a roller coaster. Jessica couldn’t get a glimpse of most of the scenery as it whizzed by. She vaguely saw a convenience store and what appeared to have once been a black Volkswagen bug hanging from old chains along the side of the road. They continued on the highway until they got to a large rock wall formation, and he stopped the bike, turning it to the left. A sign welcomed them that read Richardsville.

  “It’s just a little ways longer. If you need to stop and take a break, we can,” he offered over the roar of the bike.

  “No, I’m fine,” she assured him, not wanting them to stop.

  The night was muggy but held with it the promise of something different. They hadn’t been alone like this in a very long time. She couldn’t even remember. It was before he had been sent overseas and he was stationed in Georgia. It had been on a night like this. The Georgia and Kentucky humidity were interchangeable. Her clothes stuck to her, even though she sat on the bike with the wind blowing around them.

  Layne pulled the bike into a cropping of trees, and she realized just how much cooler it was. She could slightly hear the sound of water. “Are we near a river?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” he shrugged. “Kinda reminds me of Georgia.”

  That caused a spot within her to warm. Georgia held so many good memories for them. Did this mean he wanted to make more with her? “Me too,” she whispered.

  He got off the bike and situated the two of them back on it so that he faced her. Reaching up, he took her helmet off her head before placing it behind him. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to touch a woman. Not to just get his rocks off, but to actually touch her and give her pleasure too. He removed his gloves and stuck them inside his pocket. The idea that he wanted to touch her kept jumping to the forefront of his mind. He wasn’t sure he deserved that with her after what had happened, but he absolutely had to see how she would react.

  “Can I touch you?” he whispered.

  She almost whimpered. This was the one thing she had wanted since she had come to this place. It was confusing. One minute she was nervous that he would touch her, the next minute she was nervous that he wouldn’t, but she knew one thing for sure. Here in this setting, with the look he had in his brown eyes, this was the boy she knew, inside of the man that he was now. “Yes,” she whispered back at him. “Please.”

  It was almost like he was reluctant to do so, even though she had given him permission.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I trust you,” she told him.

  He lifted his hands up and cupped her cheeks, softly at first before increasing the pressure. Her skin was so soft against the roughness of his fingers. Her eyes were closed as he stroked her face. He wanted to see them. “Open them for me, please,” he begged her, the tone of his voice tearing her apart.

  Her eyes popped open, their emerald color holding him hostage. “I know it’s you, Layne. It’s always been you, it’s only been you I’ve wanted, but you’ve never been ready for it.”

  He swallowed roughly. The question hung between the two them. Was he ready for it even now?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Out of nowhere, the thought flashed across his mind that he had to be ready for something different. He couldn’t keep dragging her along the way he had been for years. It wasn’t fair to either one of them. He needed to man up or drop her, and now, after being with her, he knew he would never be able to drop her.

  He trailed his hands from her cheeks down to her throat. The bruises were still evident, and he closed his eyes rather than look at them. Dropping his head to the hollow between her neck and shoulder, Layne ran his lips across the injuries he had caused.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered in her ear. “Please forgive me.” His voice was low and deep as his lips traveled from her ear to her cheek.

  “I know,” she whispered back at him.

  In this quiet place, where it was the just the two of them, it was easy to pretend that things hadn’t changed. That they were still the same young kids they had been when they first met. That was the feeling she wanted to give into, not the feelings of fear that sometimes crept in. She had held herself still against him, until his lips captured her mouth. It was then that she felt the familiarity of his tongue, of the way his mouth moved against hers. Reaching out, she dug her fingers into the sides of his cut and pulled him so that he sat fully flush against her.

  “I missed you, Layne,” she told him, before attacking his mouth with hers.

  It was easy to let her take control, let her set the pace. He was scared to do anything else. Afraid that if he got too involved, he would hurt her again. With his booted feet planted firmly on the ground, he used his thigh muscles to scoot further up in the seat, pulling her legs over his. There wasn’t a part of their bodies that didn’t touch. Layne’s hand moved from her stomach to her back and then up her spine, caressing her neck as he buried his fingers there. A slight tug separated their lips, and he used that moment to tilt her head back, exposing her neck to his greedy lips.

  Jessica sighed as his tongue bathed a hot path from her neck down to her chest, stopping only where the neckline of her T-shirt sat. It was like this with the two of them; anytime they started, it was hard to stop. Her nipples tightened against the lace cups of her bra, and she arched her back further to rub them against his chest, hoping for just a smidgen of relief. In answer, he rocked his hip against hers, letting her feel how much this affected him.

  “Layne,” she bit out, her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “I know,” he answered as his fingers skimmed the waistband of her jeans before lifting the sticky shirt off her body.

  Her brain told her that they were out in the open, the middle of nowhere, that anyone could come down this road and see them. Her body told her that she really didn’t care. His hair tickled her skin as he bent his head far enough down so that he was even with the swell of her lace-covered breasts. Her eyes flew open when he stopped, and she glanced down, seeing that his finger had curved around the cup, his brown eyes glancing at her with the question in them…should he go on?

  “Please,” she begged.

  A slow smile slid across his face, one that caused dampness against the crotch of her panties. This was the bad boy she knew and loved. The finger that had sat curved at just the top of her bra, curled and yanked, exposing one side. Warm air enclosed her, caressing the skin that was now bare to his eyes. She watched as he gazed up at her, the moon just bright enough for her to see, and he licked his lips slowly before closing them around the naked flesh.

  Her mind was a jumble of every reason why this was wrong and every reason why it was right. In the end, the memory of the man she used to know won out. She couldn’t not do this; she couldn’t not let him have her. It was as simple as that. Digging her fingers into the short hair on the top of his head, she held his tongue against her pebbled skin, sighing as she felt his tongue draw circles against the heat there. Her other hand went behind his back, underneath the leather of his cut and cotton of his t-shirt, feeling the strong muscles of his back. Digging her nails in, she rocked against him.

  The nails scraping against his back set Layne off. With
in seconds, he had her up in his arms, her core against his hard length, even through the clothing they both still wore on the lower half of their bodies. His hands sank down to cup her ass through her jeans and seat her more firmly against the hardness of his body.

  “Layne, we’re going to fall,” Jessica panted, letting her head rest against his shoulder as she buried her lips into his neck.

  “I got you,” he told her, as he lifted her body against his.

  The rhythm the two of them set was frantic and fast-paced. Neither one could understand how something that had started out half-way innocent had turned into this mad crush of bodies dry humping on the side of a road in Richardsville. The only thing they knew was that it felt right. The moment felt perfect.

  Layne groaned when Jessica lightly bit the flesh where his shoulder met his neck, then shivered when she soothed the bite with the sweep of her tongue. He was on fire, and he hadn’t been this primed to blow since he was a teenager. She did this to him, made him feel like a rocket ready to burst, a train ready to jump the tracks. It had only ever been her.

  “I want to feel you,” she told him before she reached down, wrenching her bra the rest of the way off, tearing the seam at the side when she couldn’t get it off fast enough. Jessica sighed with relief when her tight nipples rubbed against the leather of his cut, offering some pressure there, making them feel less heavy and more agitated. The same pressure gathered intensity where she rode him against the tightness of her jeans.

  He wanted to feel her too, but he didn’t trust himself, couldn’t trust himself. What if this got too out of hand and something happened? Who was he kidding? It was already out of hand, but he couldn’t stop this anymore than he could stop his next breath. He had to have this release she could give him, had to give her the release she so obviously craved. Setting his feet harder against the pavement and locking his thighs tighter, he thrust against her. The cotton of his underwear, the denim of his jeans, the bite of his metal zipper, it was all too much…too constricting, but at the same time just what he needed. His hands gripped her hips, pistoning her body against his, searching for that angle, for that speed that would get him there. That would get her there.

  Turning his mouth into where hers still rest on his shoulder, he kissed her. Kissed her with every ounce of want and need he’d let build up inside his body. Their tongues dueled, their breath mingled, their lips banded together like a magnet. Just when he wasn’t sure that he could take anymore, she nipped his bottom lip, and that was it, the trigger that caused him to explode.

  “Fuck, Jess,” he groaned, pulling her roughly against him, burying his head in her chest as he tried to will his body to stop thrusting against hers.

  She picked up speed, biting her own lip, her head thrown back, the long ends of her red hair brushed the tail light of his bike. With her head thrown back, her chest was offered up to him as if it were a platter he could feast from. Using his hands, he supported her back, lifting her slightly so that her feet were off the ground and she was almost suspended in mid-air. The first touch of his teeth against her flesh was all it took, and he couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face as she gasped and fell from the ledge that she had been grasping hold of for so long.

  Mouth open, eyes glassy, face red, she looked just like she’d been rolling around in bed with him for days. It was a look that he knew well from her, and one he never wanted to forget.

  As they both tried to regulate the beating of their hearts and the breaths coming out of their mouths, Layne felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. “Shit,” he cursed as he took it out and read the text message that had come across.

  Emergency protection run. Meet us at the store at the corner of Detour and 185, I got B following me to pick up Jessica.

  Well at least Jagger had thought of the woman who now sat in front of him with her clothes half off and the sexiest look he’d ever seen in her eye. He cleared his throat and ran his tongue over his lips. “I gotta go, emergency protection run.”

  She blinked, her face still blank. “What?” she asked, pushing her hair back from her cheeks.

  “We’ve been called to an emergency protection run. I gotta meet the guys down the road. B will be there to pick you up.”

  Heat flushed her cheeks when she realized just how she must look. Her shirt on the ground somewhere behind them, her bra torn, her legs spread wide over his…this had gotten crazy…fast.

  “Okay, let me get my stuff together,” she told him, looking behind her, to the side, anywhere but at him.

  “Hey,” he grasped her chin in his hand. “This isn’t how I expected this to go, at all.”

  She nodded, but didn’t meet his gaze.

  “I’m serious, I didn’t expect this, and I’m sorry I’ve gotta go like this.”

  “I know,” she whispered, tears, for some reason, coming to her eyes.

  Instead of pulling her into his arms like he should have, Layne pushed her back from him and lifted her off the bike. Within minutes, she was clothed and they were taking off down the road again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The ride back down Highway 185 took what felt like hours for Layne. He was so uncomfortable with Jessica on the back of his bike, her fingers digging into his side. He shouldn’t have left things the way he had. He should have at least told her that she had been as beautiful as he remembered when she came, but those words didn’t come from his mouth anymore. Unless it was anger, it was hard for him to express his feelings. Hard for him to be honest. Her head rested against his shoulder, and he wanted to turn slightly so that his lips could brush her skin, but he wasn’t sure it would be welcomed. Finally they came to the convenience store, and he turned in, going around to the back where he saw the rest of Heaven Hill congregating, Bianca’s car sat there too.

  Layne pulled to a stop and turned the bike off and waited patiently for Jessica to get off before he got off behind her. “Gotta take a piss,” he told the group.

  “I just bet you do,” Jessica mumbled.

  He chose to ignore those words and didn’t even turn around as he walked around the side and towards the front door.

  “Where did y’all go?” Bianca asked when Jessica came around the side of the car and had a seat in the passenger side.

  “Nowhere important,” Jessica slammed the door. “We can go if you want.”

  “You don’t want to wait on him?”

  “For him to take a piss? No.”

  Bianca pursed her lips and cut her eyes at Jessica. “Give me just a sec.”

  Jessica watched as the other woman got out of the car and walked over to where Jagger stood. She waited patiently for Bianca to kiss and hug Jagger bye, rolling her eyes when he playfully smacked her ass on the way back. “Ready to go?” she asked when Bianca made it back to the car.

  “I am, but on the way back to the clubhouse, you need to tell me what crawled up your ass and died.”

  Layne glanced at himself in the gas station bathroom mirror. He felt like a piece of shit, leaving Jessica like he had. He should have said something, even muttered a few words that he knew she would like to hear. It had been years since they had gotten each other off like that. She wasn’t the normal woman he was used to seeing now. She expected pretty words and promises from him, but he just wasn’t sure he could give her those. His eyes were tired, his shoulders drooped. Carrying around the weight of depression was beginning to take its toll on him. Next time he went to see Doc Jones, he needed to talk to her about it. Figure out how he could be true to his situation, but still have some fun. He was tired of smiling in front of others but knowing that smile didn’t quite meet his eyes, wasn’t quite heartfelt.

  He glanced up when he heard the bathroom door open. It was Tyler. “You okay, man?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  Tyler grinned. “Because Jessica didn’t look like she was okay when she left with Bianca a few minutes ago.”

  Shit. They had left before he even had a chance to s
ay anything to her. Was this how it was going to be with her the entire time she was here? A series of coulda, woulda, shoulda’s? Is that what he really wanted to deal with? Suddenly his head was busting, and he didn’t want to deal with any of it. He sighed, rolling his shoulders beneath his cut. “Jessica and I are complicated.”

  “We’re all complicated, my brother, but we all gotta learn how to deal with it.”

  The other man spoke the truth, and Layne knew it. None of them had stellar upbringings, hardly any of them had any family to speak of—and if they did, they didn’t speak to them for the most part. In their motley crew, he wasn’t unusual, he was the norm. The part that was unusual was he couldn’t seem to get his shit together. “I know,” he spoke softly.

  “Anyway, I came in here to get you. We’re ready to head out.”

  Layne nodded and squared his shoulders.

  “I do have to say, I’m disappointed in you though.”

  Those words hit Layne square in the chest. Why was his VP disappointed? “What did I do?”

  “Hid in here like a little bitch while your woman sat in the car fuming. You need to man up and face that shit head on. Pretending it’s not there doesn’t make it any easier. Trust me on that.”

  There were no words to say, no excuses to make to the older man. He flat out didn’t have any. What Tyler said was truth—just like always. “I’m doing the best I can.”

  “We can always do better,” he said gently, laying his hand on Layne’s shoulder.

  That was it, wasn’t it? Everybody always wanted more than he was ready to give, but if he didn’t start pushing himself, he was going to push everyone else away. Without a word, he followed Tyler through the door and back outside to the parking lot.

  As they made their way around the building, Layne noticed that the group now held a new member. Rooster stood there in street clothes instead of wearing the brown outfit of the sheriff’s office. This was the first time he’d ever seen the lawman in street clothes. The only thing that differentiated Rooster from the members of Heaven Hill were the cuts the members wore.