Into the Heart of the Mind

by Kalpanik S

  Now, vector subspaces in the binary Galois field is not exactly a piece of cake, but you still can’t intimidate Y with it. He is paid a scholarship just because he can make sense out of the nonsense, and he does exactly that.

  Then he goes on to next section. It says that unfortunately, the linear system model developed in the last section is not sophisticated enough to deal with cyclic codes. So it introduces polynomial algebra with arithmetic module X^n+1.

  Now, isn’t that pushing the matter too far? I mean, why be greedy? Why not just manage with what you can get out of vector subspaces in the binary Galois fields?

  Three hours and two cups of tea later, he figures it all out. He feels so much more knowledgeable.

  Now, let’s read about the next subject. He starts reading a research paper for his Advanced Computer Architecture course, written by a very smart chap from IBM research labs, Yorkshire Town Heights, New York. The first paragraph mentions the phrase “advanced computing” three times and he likes it instantaneously.

  He goes on to read the second paragraph. It says if you do something to something mentioned in the first paragraph, then something becomes more efficient by 30%. A full thirty percent improvement? Wow! What a smart chap! He must have a lot of gray cells.

  Now the third paragraph. But wait a minute. He hasn’t really understood what exactly has been going on. Back to first paragraph. Repeat until it makes sense.

  Done.

  And now, a field he really likes, Artificial Intelligence. Create a computer that can not only think for itself, but can also reason, learn, remember and understand language, and use those abilities to play chess, give expert advice and talk to patients about their symptoms and cure them.

  Can this be done? Isn’t this playing God? And if we created thinking machines that could think better than us, what would we do?

  And won’t it be more fun if we could write programs which could imagine like humans, and simulate feelings, creativity and even humor? Yeah, build a computer which was really funny!! Computers that could laugh and cry, fall in love, had ambitions and aspirations, hopes and fears, dreams and nightmares. Computers that became sad if their users did not appreciate them, that became jealous if their owners looked at other, shinier computers.

  OK, he was wildly imagining again. Or maybe Artificial Imagination was possible, but the time wasn’t right; maybe he needs to wait for a few years before talking about computers that could laugh and cry, pick an argument over the internet, believe and reboot for those beliefs.

  First he needs to learn about Artificial Intelligence, finish his assignments for Prolog.

  Prolog is a programming language which allows programmers to build rules which can be used to build a knowledge base, an expert system. The expert system can simulate human expertise based on these rules, which can capture years of knowledge gained by an expert.

  They studied the “Cut” predicate today, but he didn’t really get it. He needs to read about it again.

  But it’s 4 AM! He has a class at 8, in another four hours!

  Maybe he should’ve spent less time with his students, and gone home at the end of the allocated time, rather than staying with them in the lab. But he likes them, he enjoys the big brotherly feeling.

  Maybe he should stop reading books other than his textbooks -- humor by P.G. Wodehouse, sociology by Alvin Toffler, literature by Somerset Maugham and Orwell, and sensational thrillers by Ludlum. Or maybe stop riding his bike along those beautiful green fields wondering about the origin of the Cosmos.

  Wait a second. He has never forced himself to study before. He always balanced his studies with other activities. Dropping everything else will be equivalent to sacrificing his life for a career in Hi-Tech. Hasn’t he already sacrificed enough? Maybe it’s time for deciding priorities.

  Priorities?

  Didn’t he set his priorities when he left his home for US? His life is now Electronics and Computer Technology -- it is his hopes and fears, his dreams and nightmares, his laughs and tears, and his best friend and worst enemy. He has travelled 8000 miles for the famed Silicon Valley, and he is so close, only 80 miles away from it! This is only a weak moment; it should go; damn it, it has to go.

  And this is no longer just about him anymore.

  He remembers the demographics of his Fault Tolerant computer design class. Four Americans sit on one side of the class and the other side is taken by the rest of the “world”: one Taiwanese, one mainland Chinese, one Korean, one German, one Malaysian, and him, the only Indian. As the sole representative of his country, he can’t just give it up.

  Maybe the answer is in his book? Let’s see what it says -- Chapter 4:

  “The Prolog cut predicate, or ‘!’, eliminates choices in a Prolog derivation tree. If you get to the cut, it always succeeds and the derivation tree is trimmed of all other choices to the point where the cut was introduced into the sequence of goals.

  Shadows of doubts and uncertainty?

  Isn’t there a deeper meaning hidden in this description of the cut clause? Let’s read it again.

  If you get this far, you have picked the correct rule for your goal?

  If you get to here, you should stop trying to re-satisfy your goal?

  Yes, there was! Suddenly, everything became crystal clear:

  If you get this far, you have picked the correct rule for your goal!

  If you get to here, you should stop trying to re-satisfy your goal!!

  The moment of weakness is over.

  The architect who designed the human “computer” created two models of the same machine with a slight difference in their firmware: One model of the species had the second chromosome of the 23rd pair as X, the other as Y.

  The whole idea seems to be to make the system run efficiently and smoothly, all by itself; while the creator just sits by the side and watches the game with amusement, sipping his beer and smoking his cigar.

  X and Y: the coding scheme stinks. It creates a mess, especially during tough times and weak moments. The times when a show of sympathy can mean a lot to the kid who is trying to show the world that he is an adult, a go-getter, a winner. Times when being told that he is smart does him wonders, times when a smile can mean a lot.

  X & Y–let’s return to our characters with those strange mathematical names.

  Downtown Davis

  Some sort of a relationship is developing between the teacher and the student. She smiles at him so sweetly. Is it just womanly sympathy? Is she just being nice and friendly to the lonely foreigner? He likes her smile. But then, in this culture, the smile is supposed to be just a greeting, a sign of encouragement or sympathy. It is not meant to be an invitation, does not indicate any intimacy.

  How can someone smile so sweetly and not mean anything?

  She does say “Don’t leave me alone” in a flirtatious way when his allocated lab time is over and he tries to leave; she is not finished with her assignment yet.

  But then, those are just words. And in the US, women flirt; it doesn’t really mean anything. She just needs him to help her finish her assignment. Even then, he stays back an extra couple of hours to help her debug her programs. What a romantic way to spend an evening.

  And yes, there are still other students who need his help. And yes, he likes helping them all, especially Apollo and Krysten, they are the smartest among them. But he does not think about them as much after the lab as he thinks of X.

  Has he found an oasis in the desert?

  Later, in the library, Y cannot control himself and looks up an article on love by the French author F. S. Croulant:

  “Love is a little nearsighted, maybe, but not blind. The male animal is not necessary looking for a looker. The list of qualities men seek are openness, honesty, understanding, physical attractiveness and intelligence. Men also want someone who respects them and someone with whom they feel comfortable.

  Photo by Colin Zheng

  Biologists say in love, the mere sight of a face or
sound of a voice causes the glands to release a number of hormones into the body and set off a lightning-like chain reaction affecting the entire system. Blood pressure rises. The pulse quickens. Circulation races. The face blushes. The pores of the skin open and beads of perspiration appear. The heart starts practicing the latest Michael Jackson beats. [the last one is not from a biologist, but from me]

  “Love is an ideal vehicle for addiction because it can ideally claim a person’s consciousness. When continuous exposure to something is necessary to make life bearable, an addiction is established.”

  Physical proximity.

  Emotional Intimacy.

  Need. Emotions. Desire. Craving?

  That unexplainable feeling of just wanting to be with someone.

  X and Y - the coding scheme stinks.

  The quarter ends. The exam for E-5, basic programming class is over. The worker comes to collect the examination answer sheets. He will spend the next week grading these.

  They meet.

  She greets him, with her usual sweet smile. She knows that he likes her smile, and she bestows it generously upon him.

  He does not ask her the question.

  He can’t, remember, he is the teacher. Even if she is older, richer and the native, that still does not change the rules.

  She does not give him the answer. How can she, if he doesn’t ask the question?

  They part. She smiles one last time, a sweet smile. Maybe there is an answer in that smile. He just needs to decipher it.

  OK kid, it was good knowing you, as one of my students, as my first time teaching experience. You were a tough student to teach, tougher than a younger brother. You are going to remain in my memory until it runs out of swap space.

  Sentimental types, hold your tears, no need to cry now, the story hasn’t ended. Yes, there is more to come.

  The reviews for Teaching Assistants are in. He is curious, but also nervous. How did he do as a TA, how had his students rated him? Isn’t it strange that his first ever job turned out to be teaching students in a foreign country, in his third language?

  Ha! They like his jokes, jokes they could only half understand. His younger brother was definitely wrong: not only can he teach, he turned out to be a good teacher.

  The good feedback also helps him heal from a case of a bad grade, a B given by the Professor who had taught the class on Artificial Intelligence.

  As his term assignment, Y had presented the concept of Artificial Imagination to the class, a computer program which could simulate human creativity, imagination and humor, and presented a sketch, a blueprint to the class on how such a program could be built.

  The class laughed through it, but the Professor thought that Y was being frivolous, and handed him a B!

  But with the spectacular review feedback in his hand Y tries to forget about X and about the sore feelings from the getting the B, and goes out with his Austrian and Brazilian friends to carry out research work about the electrifying effects of the night life of Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. Unfortunately, their research project had to be stopped in the middle because of lack of funding.

  On coming back, he sees a note in his mailbox from Judy, his department’s administrative assistant. She gives him a sly smile and tells him that two girls have left packets for him.

  What packets? And what girls?

  The first one is a packet of cookies with a note of thanks from Krysten, his smart, delicate Vietnamese student.

  Did you read it? Read it again! How nice of her!

  And he didn’t really spend that much time with her; she was smart.

  This proves once again that he did well in his first job. But it also proves another point. Women, irrespective of being Indian, East Asian or Caucasian, irrespective of being short or tall, irrespective of the fact that they can operate heavy machinery and program computers in the 20th century, still absolutely reserve their right to feed men from time to time. Otherwise, why didn’t any of the male students think of baking cookies for him ;-), eh?

  What’s in the other packet? Judy had said two girls, so this is from the other girl. What other girl? His heart starts practicing Michael Jackson beats again.

  Cookies again! This one is from X.

  The two cookies on the top of the box are in the shape of a heart. Colored red, with red sugar.

  Hmmm, so the smile was more than just a greeting, and a casual facial expression? Otherwise why the heart shape, the red color, why two of them? Isn’t that supposed to be an invitation?

  There is no note though, no phone number. There is only one way to know for sure. He needs to ask, otherwise he will never know; never know for sure. He will always have a doubt.

  Should he call her? No, that would not be romantic. He should probably write to her

  How about this for a draft?

  Hi X,

  Thanks a lot for those really delicious cookies. That was really nice of you. It gave a boost to my “sense of achievement.” Also, it is great to know that I have made friends on this side of the globe.

  It would be nice to have friends who I could call without later receiving an intimidating letter from AT&T to pay a huge sum of money by a certain date or else face the dire consequences. And all this time I used to think that the USA had organized crime only in places like Chicago or New York!

  I am going to miss you in Surge IV this quarter, especially Friday afternoons. A week of vacation in Vegas could not root out the addiction acquired during last 10 weeks.

  You have been a pretty good friend and I hope that the end of the professional relationship between us will not be the end of our friendship.

  I am also enclosing an evaluation form modeled around the TA survey, I would appreciate it if you can fill it and send it back.

  With warm regards,

  Y

  Letter Writing Evaluation Form:

  Please evaluate Y on the items below using a UCD general purpose Answer Card and these categories:

  A: Strongly Agree B: Agree C: Mixed Feelings D: Disagree E: Strongly Disagree N: No Opinion

  1. Y’s letters are well organized.

  2. Y shows originality and creativity in his letters.

  3. His letter makes interesting reading. (mark N if you’ve never read his letters)

  4. Y shows enthusiasm for the subject matter.

  5. Y has got a sense of humor.

  6. It is clear in his letters what he means.

  7. Overall Y is a good letter writer.

  Please write comments, if any, at the back.

  This sounds humorous but sincere. She may or may not like him, but she has to be amused by this.

  Now the tough question -- should he send it?

  Come on kid, come to your senses. Note the tremendous differences: the cultural, ethnic, social, national, racial, lingual differences between the two of you.

  You don’t stand a chance. You are too different from her. And remember, you are here to pursue your academic and career ambitions, not to chase girls. You need to have a heartless mind.

  On the other hand, unless he asks, he will never know. Can he live with that?

  Why should he take the risk?

  All the cultures around the world require a man to take the risk of asking, and the risk of rejection. He is a man now, isn’t he? He has made it to the most advanced nation in the world, and they are paying him to be there. Yes, that definitely makes him a man.

  The statistician calculates the probabilities. It is low, but non-zero. But the risk is too high; if he is rejected, he will always doubt whether it was because of his race.

  Should he or shouldn’t he?

  To be, or not to be, that is the eternal question.

  X had been waiting eagerly for Y to call.

  She had a crush on Y. He was tall, dark and handsome. She liked his jokes, his sense of humor. She liked his old-fashioned way of thinking, the way he talked about falling in love, and not having relationships. He was so romantic. He was complet
ely different from any of the boys she had known. She had been giving him hints all this time, she had smiled so sweetly at him, but he had not responded. What was stopping him.

  Was it because she was older than he was?

  Anyone else would have guessed her interest.