Embracing the Dawn

by Jeannie Levig

  “He’ll come around.” Mandy rested her head on E. J.’s shoulder. “You know he will. He just has to have some drama first.”

  E. J. gave a tentative laugh and squeezed Mandy’s fingers.

  “Is there anything I can do?” Jinx asked as she stepped closer.

  E. J. looked into the depths of those blue eyes and emotion flooded her. “Thank you for staying,” she said. “I know how hard it must have been to hear all that.”

  “Thank you for making it clear you wanted me to.” Jinx’s gaze held E. J.’s. “I’m here, baby. As long as you want me.”

  Mandy cleared her throat. “I guess we’ll go ahead and take off.” She hugged E. J. “Mom, now that all this is out in the open, can we, please, go to dinner?”

  E. J. smiled through welling tears. “Yes,” she said. “But you have to pay.”

  Mandy laughed. She took in Jinx. “I’m about to say some things that, given everything that happened tonight, are going to sound ridiculous, so just bear with me.”

  “Okay.” Jinx looked wary.

  “It’s been very nice meeting you, Jinx. I hope I get to spend some time with you soon, so I can get to know you.” Mandy’s expression was sincere. “I really want to know the woman who’s made my mom happy.”

  Jinx smiled. “It was nice meeting you, too. I hope we see each other again soon.”

  Mandy gave Jinx an awkward hug.

  E. J. warmed at the sight, then winced with embarrassment as Russ strode up to the group. “I’m so sorry you had to witness all this, Russ. I hope you won’t hold it against us.” She tried to make light of it.

  “No problem,” Russ said with a wide grin. “I was nervous about Mandy meeting my family next month, but now…” He lifted a shoulder. “Pshhh.”

  When she and Jinx were alone, E. J. opened the sliding glass door and moved out onto the balcony. “I need some air.” She stared out at the lights of the city that stretched into the distance. The night breeze cooled her skin. She closed her eyes. It was done. She sighed with relief. Now, it was time to—what had Jinx said? Let everything be what it is, let everyone be who they are, and see what happens. She cringed inwardly at the loss of control, but at least her kids now knew who she was.

  Jinx leaned on the railing beside her. “What can I do?”

  E. J. took her hand. She remembered the afternoon on Jinx’s front steps when Jinx had so effortlessly made her feel better. “Make me laugh,” she said, as she had that day.

  Jinx chuckled. “That’s easy.” She paused. “Where does the king keep his armies?”

  E. J. felt the beginnings of a smile. “Where?”

  “Up his sleevies.”

  E. J. laughed, as she knew she would.

  “An eight-year-old boy,” Jinx went on without the slightest hesitation, “was failing math when his family moved to a new city and he began attending a Catholic school. On his first day, he came home, ran straight upstairs, and started on his homework. Later, he came down for dinner, but went straight back up afterward and did more homework. His mother didn’t know what to make of it, but she didn’t want to ask about it in fear of ruining it, so she said nothing. He did that for the entire first week. His mother was still puzzled but didn’t say anything for fear of jinxing the whole thing. Finally, when his first report card came home and he had an A in math, his mother couldn’t stand it any longer and had to ask, ‘What made the difference?’ ‘Well,’ the boy said. ‘On the first day, when I walked into class and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they didn’t mess around.’”

  E. J. giggled.

  Jinx shifted onto one elbow and slipped a fingertip behind E. J.’s earlobe. “I love it when you giggle.” She caressed the sensitive spot. “Did you hear the one about the pizza?”

  “Mmm.”

  Jinx moved closer. “Never mind,” she whispered. “It’s too cheesy.” Her soft breath warmed E. J.’s skin.

  E. J.’s chuckle caught on a quiet groan, prompted partly by arousal, and partly by the bad joke.

  “How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?” Jinx sucked the lobe between her teeth. “A buccaneer,” she murmured, not waiting for a response.

  E. J. laughed then stepped into Jinx’s arms. “Thank you.” She molded against her.

  Jinx was trembling. E. J. found her mouth and teased the corner with the tip of her tongue.

  “I was scared tonight,” Jinx said, her tone so unguarded and vulnerable, it clutched at E. J.’s heart. “I thought I was going to lose you for good.”

  E. J. pulled back only enough to meet Jinx’s gaze. She took Jinx’s face in her hands and stroked her cheeks. “I don’t want you to ever have to be afraid of that again. I know I’ve given you a lot of reason to doubt, but from now on, I want you to know that I know who you’ve been, and I know who you are now. And I don’t care what you’ve done or what anyone thinks about it. I don’t care what they think of me. I choose you.” Her voice broke, and tears spilled down her cheeks. “I love you, Jinx, and I choose you.”

  Jinx choked back a sob and crushed E. J. to her. She kissed her hard, their tears mingling until E. J. couldn’t tell whose were whose.

  Finally, Jinx broke the kiss. Her breathing was heavy. She gulped for air through her quieting sobs. “I love you, too, E. J. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.” She tightened her hold again.

  E. J. brought Jinx’s head down to her shoulder and stroked her hair. She knew she could now be that safe place for Jinx that Jinx was for her. She wanted to give her that. She wanted to give her everything, every part of herself. In that moment, E. J. felt the last inklings of doubt or fear about letting herself be loved, about Jacob or Mandy, about her heart being wide open, dissolve into nothing.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Jinx padded groggily into the kitchen, Pete at her heels, and swiped her finger through the frosting of the one-year anniversary cake E. J. had surprised her with two nights earlier. She shivered slightly at the chill of the tile on her bare feet from the early spring morning and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, then stopped dead at the sight of E. J., her lover, her partner, her heart. She still couldn’t figure out how it’d all happened. She couldn’t have predicted it or planned it—or even imagined everything that’d happened since that first night she’d seen her in the bar. It was so far from the realm of what her life had been for so long, and yet, here she was.

  E. J. was seated at the patio table outside the open French doors of the upscale track home she’d bought. It wasn’t far from Jacob and Tiffany, and her three-month-old grandson, Ryan. She’d made the purchase, wanting Jinx to move in with her, and they’d compromised between what E. J. could truly afford, and something Jinx, while it stretched her comfort zone, could contribute to from her now full-groomer’s salary. Jinx consoled herself with a fondly-remembered, yet somewhat annoying, piece of Namastacey’s wisdom—no one grows in her comfort zone. In general, though, she didn’t spend much time thinking about it. She loved living with E. J. They were happy together, and that’s all that mattered.

  Sunlight glinted off the gold highlights in E. J.’s hair, and her floor-length silk robe draped her supple body. One smooth leg crossed over the other and slipped through the opening, reminding Jinx of what lay beneath and making her ache. Jinx could stare at her for hours, make love to her for days, and knew she’d love her forever. She still marveled that E. J. was hers.

  The doorbell rang, and E. J. lowered the newspaper and started to rise.

  “I’ll get it,” Jinx said, lingering another moment.

  “How long have you been standing there?” E. J. asked as she settled back in her chair.

  “Long enough to think about getting you out of that robe,” Jinx called over her shoulder.

  E. J. laughed softly. “Get rid of whoever’s at the door, and come make good on that.”

  Jinx was still smiling when she turned the knob and found Tiffany and Jacob on the front stoop. “Good morning,” she said, surpr
ised. They’d all be together that evening at Tiffany and Jacob’s first-year anniversary celebration. She enjoyed a silent moan at the memory of their own private celebration before she paid attention to their unannounced guests. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you,” Tiffany said, planting a kiss on Jinx’s cheek as she swept past her.

  “And I need to talk to Mom.” Jacob kissed her other cheek and scanned the foyer. “Is she here?”

  “Out back.”

  Mandy had been spot-on in her assessment of Jacob’s flair for drama and her prediction that he’d come around. It’d taken a few conversations with Tiffany and her stand that she intended to keep Jinx in her life. Then came a couple more with E. J. and her declaration that Jacob could accept Jinx or not but E. J. was with her, regardless, and an argument with Mandy in which she’d called him a pompous ass. Finally, after some time with Jinx, he had come around. Since then, he’d even conceded that she was good for his mother.

  As Jacob took off through the house, Jinx followed Tiffany into the living room. She liked this room. It held two of her favorite things—the baby grand piano from E. J.’s condo and the framed sketch of E. J., Pete, and her, hanging above the fireplace. “What’s up?” She grew a little wary as she watched Tiffany settle onto the couch, her expression serious. Tiffany was hardly ever serious.

  “Sit down,” Tiffany said. “I’m supposed to give you something.” She sounded irritated.

  “From who?” Jinx sat beside her.

  “Mom.”

  Jinx blinked in disbelief.

  Tiffany handed her an envelope.

  She stared at it.

  She’d all but given up on things ever being right with Andrea. Since E. J.’s coming out and the news that she and Jinx were together, combined with Tiffany’s now close relationship with Jinx, Andrea seemed even angrier than before, if that was possible. It was only after Tiffany’s threat that Andrea wouldn’t be included in any social events or family gatherings hosted by Tiffany and Jacob that she settled into polite tolerance. The baby had helped some, too, at least for the public encounters, but she still wouldn’t stay in the same room with Jinx if she could help it.

  Cautiously, Jinx took the envelope.

  It was business-sized, not the dimensions of a greeting card or an invitation. What was she thinking? Of course, it’s nothing personal. She sighed at the realization she still held hope. But what business did they have?

  “Okay, you two, what’s going on?” E. J. said brightly as she and Jacob entered the room. “It’s awfully quiet in here.”

  “Tiff brought me something from Andrea,” Jinx said, turning the envelope over in her hands.

  “From Andrea?” E. J. was obviously as astonished as Jinx. “What is it?”

  “I haven’t opened it.” Jinx looked at Tiffany. “Do you know?”

  Tiffany shook her head.

  Jinx examined the backside.

  “Do you want us to leave so you can have some privacy?” Tiffany asked.

  “Of course not.” Jinx stalled a little longer, unsure of her reluctance. What was she afraid of? It couldn’t be anything that would change her life in any significant way, anything that could threaten what she’d built. She tore it open and took out a folded piece of paper. Something else fluttered to the floor. She picked it up and stared.

  “What is it?” Tiffany asked.

  Jinx could barely speak. She cleared her throat. “It’s a check…for four hundred thousand dollars.”

  “What?” E. J. leaned over to see, resting a hand on Jinx’s shoulder. “For what?”

  Jinx couldn’t take her eyes off Andrea’s sculpted signature. “I don’t know.”

  “Is that a letter?” Tiffany asked, pointing to the folded sheet.

  Jinx couldn’t respond. She handed it to E. J.

  E. J. opened it and frowned.

  “Is it a letter?” Tiffany asked again.

  “More like a note,” E. J. said with evident disapproval.

  “What’s it say?” Jinx asked.

  E. J. glanced at her, then lowered herself onto the couch beside her. She hesitated, then read it out loud.

  “Michelle. When I received my inheritance from our father at the age of twenty-five, there were instructions that a portion in the amount of $250,000 was to go to you. I have remained conservator of these funds until now due to your circumstances. I have included an additional $150,000 to allow for two percent interest over the past twenty years. Our dealings are now complete.”

  Despite the astonishing information, the temperature in the room seemed to drop with the frigidity of the tone.

  “She can’t do that, can she?” Tiffany looked at Jacob.

  “It depends on what the actual instructions said. But you certainly have the right to demand to see them,” he said to Jinx.

  “You could have had this money all along, Aunt Michelle.”

  Jinx took the note from E. J. and reread it. Michelle, not Chelle. Our father, not Daddy as Andrea used to call him, or even Dad. Our dealings are complete? What does that even mean? They were sisters and always would be. Andi had promised her that.

  “Jinx?” E. J. touched her arm.

  “It’s okay.” Jinx couldn’t quite clear her head. “I’m okay. Just a little stunned.” She looked at the check again.

  E. J. slipped her hand over Jinx’s.

  “She can’t get away with this,” Tiffany said with a bite. “She should have given you this a long time ago.”

  Jinx merely listened and thought.

  “Sweetie?” E. J. caressed her fingers. “Do you want to do something about that?”

  Jinx turned to her. She still couldn’t speak. She knew what she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come. She met E. J.’s searching gaze. “No,” she managed finally.

  “Aunt Michelle, that money could have made a huge difference in your life. You could have gotten a better lawyer and maybe not gone to prison. And she withheld it from you.”

  Jinx chuckled, thankful for another thought to focus on for a minute. “Tiff, I walked into a bank, high on drugs, in broad daylight, waving a gun around, and the security cameras got it all. The quality of my defense wasn’t the problem. Besides, my trial was way over by the time your mom and I turned twenty-five.”

  “I’m just saying,” Tiffany said.

  “I appreciate your indignation, but it’s all okay,” Jinx said. But it wasn’t. She couldn’t get the note, the wording, the curtness, the finality of it, out of her mind. She felt E. J. watching her.

  “Jacob,” E. J. said, “didn’t you say you needed to be home when your dad and Susan dropped off Ryan?”

  “Oh, yeah. Thanks, Mom.” He coaxed Tiffany off the couch. “Come on, honey, we have to go.”

  “Think about it, Aunt Michelle,” Tiffany said as he pulled her from the room. “I just want her to think about it,” she said to Jacob.

  “And I’m sure she will.” Jacob’s voice faded into the entryway. “But you need to make sure you’re not just trying to cause trouble with your mom.”

  The front door closed on the conversation.

  E. J. reclined into the corner of the sofa and guided Jinx down against her. “Tiffany’s right, in a way,” she said, stroking Jinx’s back. “That money would have made a difference to you in prison. You could have paid for the things you needed. You wouldn’t have had to…you know.”

  Jinx considered the idea. “Maybe,” she said slowly, enjoying E. J.’s closeness. “But you know what?”

  “What?”

  “If I could have bought what I needed—mainly, drugs and protection—I wouldn’t have hooked up with Val, wouldn’t have belonged to her. And if I hadn’t belonged to Val, I wouldn’t have been in that fight. And if I hadn’t been in the fight, I wouldn’t have been stabbed and been in the infirmary when they brought Trisha in, which means I would never have met Sparkle and Reggie. And that means I wouldn’t have still been at the shop to take Reggie her phon
e that night you were at that bar, which means I wouldn’t have met you and we wouldn’t have fallen in love and we wouldn’t have had that fight, so you never would have gotten me Pete.” Jinx rose onto an elbow and looked into E. J.’s eyes. “And I can’t imagine my life without Pete.”

  “Ah, you went too far.” E. J. smiled and tilted her head.

  Jinx grinned, then grew serious. “I can’t imagine my life without you, baby, and what we have. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing.” She leaned in and kissed E. J.’s neck.

  “Mmm, much better.” E. J. slid her fingers under Jinx’s T-shirt and trailed them along the bare skin at the waistband of her jeans. “Are you going to keep it?”

  “The money? Heck, yeah.” Jinx sat up. The money wasn’t what gave her pause. It was the damned note. “My dad wanted me to have it. He left it for me.” She looked at the check again and a lump rose in her throat. “I thought he forgot about me.”

  E. J. moved up beside her and took Jinx in her arms. “No one could ever forget about you.”

  Jinx kissed her, but her thoughts had already raced on. “I even know what I’m going to do with it.”

  “What?”

  “Part of it’s going toward the house—toward our house—and then I’m going to invest in Canine Complete, to go with the money Reggie and Sparkle have saved for the emergency vet clinic.”

  “That’s a great idea. Sparkle and Reggie will be touched.” E. J.’s own emotion shone in her eyes.

  “And a new car, I think.” Jinx smiled. “Yeah. A new car.” She eased E. J. back down onto the couch and settled on top of her. She grinned as she combed her fingers through E. J.’s short hair. “Our life just keeps getting better and better.”

  E. J. looped her arms around Jinx’s neck. “I guess you’d better stay with me, then.”

  “Oh, baby. There’s no doubt about whether or not I’m staying with you.” Jinx kissed her gently but deeply.

  E. J. pulled her in more tightly. When they broke the kiss, she was breathing hard. “God, will I ever get enough of you?”

  Jinx pressed her thigh between E. J.’s. Her own breath came fast. “I hope not.”