Big Girls Drama
Page 22
“Ms. Gordon?”
“Leann, please, call me Sonya.”
Smiling weakly, she said, “Sonya, I’m so sorry for this. I didn’t raise my son to act this way.”
“Please believe me, I get it. I didn’t raise my daughter to act like this either.”
“Whatever you need from me, please don’t hesitate to call me,” Leann said, walking to the door.
“Leann,” Damon called. “I’ll bring Corbin home in the morning, okay? Just let me have a man-to-man talk with him tonight.”
Smiling, she nodded saying, “Don’t hurt him, Damon.”
Both chuckled.
“I know you. Try to keep your foot out of that boy’s ass.”
“I’ll try, Leann. Go kiss our son and I’ll see you in the morning.”
Leann said good night and exited my home.
It was just me and Damon now. This was the first time we’d been alone.
“You really must think I’m a bad parent,” I said feeling responsible for all of this.
“Not at all.”
“Between the shoplifting, the destruction of property, and now this, you have to look at me with some skepticism.”
“Well, now that you’ve reminded me, I do thing . . .” He trailed off before chuckling.
“I didn’t think our next encounter was going to be like this,” I said.
“Neither did I. I’m starting to get scared because we keep meeting under bad circumstances. Maybe we need to do something about that to break this bad-luck streak.”
“What do you mean, Officer Ward?”
Smirking, he said, “Let me take you out to dinner next weekend.”
“You want to go with me after all you’ve seen?” I asked suspiciously.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to be with you.”
Well, damn, I thought. He wants to be with me.
“I would love to go to dinner with you, Damon.”
“Great. I’ll call you with further details, if that’s okay with you?”
“I look forward to hearing from you.”
Damon reached out to shake my hand, and I gripped it. The sexual attraction between us was undeniable. Saying good night, I was happy I finally was getting with someone I was interested in. That was . . . until I turned to see Kegan standing there. From the expression on his face, I knew he’d heard everything.
Vivian
39
Today was the first day of my job, and to say I enjoyed it was an understatement. I think I found my calling in fashion. Don’t get me wrong, when I arrived, the staff, or should I say Julia’s aunt Meredith, wasn’t happy about me joining the team. But after having meetings with Julia and seeing her plan and location for the new store she was opening she wanted me to run, I was ecstatic and could care less what Meredith thought. What would have made this day better would have been if my husband wished me luck or even kissed me good-bye this morning. Sheldon didn’t do either. After he had his breakdown, he must’ve thought about it because he seemed mad at me. Sheldon had very little to say to me, and it bothered me. It wasn’t often we were mad at each other, but I knew I was wrong . . . well, partially, and I would do what it took for us to get back in a good place.
The table was set. The lighting was low. Smooth music played in the background as the candles flickered, illuminating the dinner I’d prepared for us this evening. I was showered, moisturized, and sitting on the sofa in a sexy number waiting patiently for Sheldon to come home.
As soon as Sheldon laid his eyes on me, he smiled lovingly. To my surprise, he was holding a dozen long-stemmed yellow roses. We both laughed, realizing each of us was working hard to get back in a better place.
He walked over and handed me the flowers.
“Thank you, babe. They are beautiful.”
“Beautiful like you,” he said, sitting next to me.
He leaned in and kissed me passionately.
As we disconnected, Sheldon said, “I don’t like when we don’t get along.”
“Me either. I’m so sorry for jumping on you like I did. I shouldn’t have overreacted and provoked you the way I did.”
“I’m sorry also. I thought about it, and if I found you in a restaurant with another man without me knowing about it, I think I wouldn’t have waited until we got home to act a fool.”
“I know you wouldn’t have waited. I know you crazy.”
“I should have told you what was up,” he said.
“Babe, I want you to feel like you can come to me anytime,” I reassured.
“Viv, I can on most things. But what I’m going through right now, I feel like only a psychiatrist can help me with.”
I lowered my head wondering if it was something I did to trigger his issue.
“Don’t do that,” he said.
“Do what?”
“Stop blaming yourself. Sometimes, Viv, it’s not about you,” he smirked.
I nodded, agreeing with him.
“You have to understand, concerning emotions and deep suffering, men move at a slower pace. We think we can get over any tragedy, not knowing things that have happened to us affects the man we become.”
I didn’t know if I should respond or continue to listen. What I wanted to ask was what happen to him, but I was afraid I would push him away again. So I decided to stay quiet.
“I want to tell you why I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist.”
He paused like he was trying to get his courage up to tell me, which scared me a bit. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, smiling at him to let him know it was going to be okay.
Clearing this throat he said, “When I was sixteen, my family had a party which consisted of a lot of drinking. Really, they had many parties that consisted of drinking. Yes, I was underage, but I got twisted also, to the point of passing out in my room. When I woke up . . .”
He hesitated, biting his lower lip as he squeezed my hand.
“When I woke up, I found someone performing oral sex on me.”
I sat and listened, not saying a word.
“That someone was my cousin.”
With his forehead knitted, he went from biting his lips to tapping his foot anxiously.
“My cousin is a male.”
I didn’t move. I don’t know if I even breathed. What I tried to do was keep the same loving expression on my face and not looked shocked by what he was telling me.
“I didn’t get him off me soon enough,” he eyed me, and I understood. “I damn near beat him to death. Family members broke it up, but the damage was done. It caused major friction in my family. People looked at me differently because my cousin bragged about how I enjoyed it. He could care less at how it looked on his end, but I guess that’s how demented his mind was. He had everybody thinking I was some kind of man on the down low.”
I let go of his hand and began rubbing his shoulders.
“It took awhile for everybody to forget about what happened. Unfortunately for me, I never forgot about it. If anything, the incident made me an angrier man.”
“It’s okay,” I consoled him.
“How did he think it was okay to do something like that to me? I wondered if I gave off something that made him think I would be okay with it. And the fact I actually climaxed, did that make me like what he was doing to me, or even like men for that matter?”
“You didn’t know, Sheldon.”
“I climaxed, Viv,” he said in a raised tone, clinching his hands into fists. “The fact I did that has fucked me up. I thought I was having a wet dream, but to find my cousin giving me head fucked me up on the real.”
“This’s why you jump when I touch you in the middle of the night?” I asked.
“Yes, because I’m afraid someone else is going to violate me like that again.”
“You do understand it’s not your fault.”
“That’s what my psychiatrist said. She told me my body reacted to its natural urges which I had no control over. But the fact I was hard and enjoyed
it, and then finished, made me question my manhood.”
“You’re human. You are a handsome, heterosexual male. And your cousin is a rapist.”
Sheldon held his head lower, shaking it as his fisted hands returned to a relaxed position.
“If you don’t mind me asking, whatever happened with your cousin?”
“He’s okay, far as I know. I heard he married his partner and was living somewhere in Florida.”
We sat for a long moment without saying anything until Sheldon spoke again.
“Viv, what I’ve been going through has been difficult for me. I was afraid if I told you, you would stop loving me or look at me differently as a man.”
I frowned saying, “Nothing will change the way I see you, babe. You are my man, and I love you.”
“A part of me doesn’t know that, like a part of you wonders why I love you so much. Maybe we are more alike than we think.”
“Look at you, Sheldon. What’s not to love?”
“Looks aren’t everything, Viv, and you know this.”
“I do but—”
“Stop with the buts already. You are an intelligent, beautiful woman. I feel like you try to push me away because you’re afraid I will eventually leave you for something better. I’m here to put your negative thoughts to rest and tell you no one will ever be better than you.” Looking squarely in my eyes, Sheldon said, “I love you more than myself.”
“I love you too, babe,” I replied, cupping his face.
We kissed each other deeply.
“Make love to me,” I moaned, and my husband didn’t hesitate as he stood, took my hand into his, and led me to our bedroom.
Kellie
40
I was a nervous wreck. I sat on the examination table in the room, foot bouncing from the waiting. Vic sat in one of the two chairs in the room watching me as I tried not to have a nervous breakdown.
“Kell, chill. Everything is going to turn out fine.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do. So, will you please be still and stop acting like ants are in your pants.”
This caused me to giggle. I was happy my brother was here for moral support because I didn’t think I could do this on my own.
It wasn’t long before Dr. Hoffman walked in holding her tablet. Following her was a young woman also in a white lab coat.
“Hello, Kellie.”
“Hi, Dr. Hoffman.”
“This is Amanda. She’s a med student who will be shadowing me today. Is this okay with you?”
“Of course,” I responding thinking she could have twenty students following her as long as I got the news I wanted.
“I see you brought your brother. Wow, I haven’t seen you in quite some time,” Dr. Hoffman greeted.
“It’s good to see you again. You look good. You haven’t changed a bit,” Vic complimented.
“Thank you.”
All this chitchat was good, but I really wanted to get to why we were here in the first place. We could socialize after the results.
“So, I guess we should get down to why you are here.”
“Yes, please,” I said anxiously.
Swiping across the tablet, Dr. Hoffman scanned the screen before looking back at me.
“Kellie, you are fine.”
I sighed the biggest sigh of relief. My hands were covering the biggest grin ever. Tears began to form as Vic clapped his hands with elation.
“I told you, Kell.”
“Dr. Hoffman, are you sure? I will be able to have children?”
“Yes, your reproductive organs look wonderful. The pains you were having were a complication from the STD.”
“I never thought I would be happy to hear that,” I said giggling. “You’ve made me the happiest woman ever.”
“I’m glad I could give you this good news.”
“Will she need to have any more tests done?” Vic asked.
“Not right now. As long as she continues to take her meds, her STD should clear up.”
“I’m taking that faithfully,” I told her.
“As long as she’s having safe sex and doesn’t expose herself to someone who’s infected, Kellie should be fine,” Dr. Hoffman explained.
I was on cloud nine, but noticed my brother’s happiness dwindle a bit.
“So she’s clear. She’s good?” Vic asked.
“Victor, stop. Dr. Hoffman said I’m good. I’m soon going to be STD free, as crazy as that sounds. All of my other tests came out clear. So stop worrying.”
“I’m asking, Kell, because I have a reason to worry.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.
“I wanted to hear from Dr. Hoffman you were good with everything before I told you something.”
“Should I step out while you two talk?” Dr. Hoffman asked.
“No, please stay, because you may be able to help me understand this as well, or let me know I’m right,” Vic said.
“Vic, what is it?”
“Do you remember when we had that ‘guest’ stop by the other night?” he asked.
I thought back to what he was talking about and remembered Kyle.
“Yes.”
“Remember you asked me what was wrong?”
“Victor, spit it out already,” I urged.
“Kell, I know him.”
“What do you mean you know him?”
“Kyle and I use to have a thing back in the day,” he revealed.
“What?”
“No sex was involved, thank goodness. Just some smooching and rubbing . . . you know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“That was when I first came out as a gay man. Many years have passed, and it’s been rumored that Kyle . . . has . . . AIDS.”
“Wha . . . What?” I said breathlessly.
I looked at Dr. Hoffman whose face remained stoic, but her student looked at me with wide eyes. I could feel my stomach churning at this news.
“I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to worry you. That’s why I asked Dr. Hoffman all these questions about you being clear because I was afraid your husband . . .” he paused.
“AIDS!” I repeated.
“It was a rumor, but later, I found out from a reliable source it’s true.”
I sat there dumbfounded. I felt like I could not win.
“Dr. Hoffman, I know you tested my sister for AIDS as well, and she’s clear. Does this mean she’s good even if she could have been exposed to this disease?”
My brother was asking these questions, which I knew I needed to know, but I couldn’t grasp the fact I could have been exposed to AIDS. Victor should have told me. I wanted to understand he was looking out for my best interest, but regardless of everything, I still needed to know. Here I was happy about being able to have children . . . only to have that dream taken away from me again. Was that why Kyle showed up on my doorstep to talk to me? He wanted to tell me to get tested because my husband had exposed me to this? I wanted to leave so badly, but I needed to hear what Dr. Hoffman had to say.
“Kellie’s HIV test did come up negative, which is great. But based on the fact she may have been exposed, she should come back in three months to get tested again. We call this a window period. More likely than not, if you test negative three months later, you can feel safe assuming you do not have the virus. Me, personally, I have my patients come back six months later to get tested once more due to the fact if your immune system has been compromised for any reason, you could still test positive.”
“I can’t believe this,” I murmured.
“I’m sorry, Kell.”
“You could have told me before now,” I yelled.
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“What am I doing now? What do you think I’m going to do for the next nine months, Vic? If you would have told me, at least I would have gone into this knowing what I was facing. But you allowed me to rejoice before ripping that sense of relief away from me.”
“Oh, I understand. I could be dying and the hopes of me ever having children could be gone as well,” I said, jumping down from the table with tears streaming down my face.
“Kell, please,” Vic pleaded.
I ignored my brother as I brushed past Dr. Hoffman, leaving the examining room. I’d had enough of everybody, and all I wanted to do was be alone.
Monica
41
Not only did Devin not attend church with me on Sunday, he didn’t bother to come home either. I called him several times, but all my calls were sent to voice mail. I called his parents’ house, and no one bothered to answer there either. I even went by his parents’ house, but no one answered the door. Talk about pushing me to the limit. Here I was trying, by not divulging the negative behavior of his parents in church in front of the entire congregation, and now they all were treating me like I didn’t exist.
Since Devin refused to deal with me by phone, I went by his job, only to be told by the security check-in officer I wasn’t allowed on the premises. All I could do was look at the officer in disbelief. My husband had me banned from the property.
I can’t say I didn’t sulk in my emotions the last few nights waiting for him to get home. I could tell he’d come home while I was at work by the glass being left in the sink or a few more of his clothes going missing. I was so upset this morning I called into work, telling them I wasn’t feeling well. I did not feel up to dealing with anyone. I hadn’t slept in days, waiting to hear from him. I did hope Devin would come home, thinking I was at work. I knew if he saw my car in the garage, he would probably turn around and leave. This was why I parked my car on a neighboring street. I knew it was drastic, but I was willing to do whatever it took to have this conversation with my husband once and for all.
Devin never suspected anything until he entered the room he’d been staying in, to find me sitting on the bed holding one of the pillows. He was dressed down in a pair of jeans, a white tee, and a dark blazer. He looked like he’d been sleeping just fine.