Big Girls Drama

by Tresser Henderson

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, holding a large folder.

  “I was waiting to see if you would show up.”

  “I thought you had to work.”

  “I can say the same for you.”

  “I had some business I needed to handle,” he said looking down at the paperwork.

  “Is that for me?” I asked calmly.

  “Actually, it is,” he said stepping forward and passing me the folder.

  Without opening it, I asked, “Is it what I think it is?”

  “If you think it’s divorce papers, then, yes. That’s exactly what it is. That’s your copy.”

  I tossed the folder on the bed and continued to glare at my husband.

  “So you are really serious about leaving me and being with Georgiana?” I asked.

  “Monica, I wasn’t playing when I told you this.”

  “And you expect me to let this happen so you can move on?”

  “Yes. I think it’s best for both of us.”

  I looked over at the folder and opened it. Petition for Dissolution of Marriage was in bold print at the top of the document.

  “You didn’t come home. Were you with Georgiana?”

  Tucking his hands in his pockets he answered with, “I don’t think that matters.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes then. Did you fuck her?”

  “Monica.”

  “Answer the damn question.”

  “Look, I came to get my things and leave you with those papers. We need to move on with our lives,” he said walking over to the guest closet which housed most of his clothes.

  “You want to move on with your life, but I want to make our marriage work,” I said.

  “Let this go, Monica,” Devin said, taking out one of his suitcases. He brought it over and plopped it on the bed. Opening it, he proceeded to empty one of the top drawers like I wasn’t in the room with him.

  “Do you know your mother had me investigated?” I asked.

  “She mentioned it to me,” he said, stuffing his underwear into the suitcase.

  “She found nothing. I guess I’ve done a great job hiding my secrets.”

  “What are you talking about, Monica?”

  “I’m telling you your mother was right to have concerns about who I was,” I glared at him as I continued to hug the pillow.

  Devin looked at me cautiously as his packing became slower. With a knitted brow he asked, “Monica, say what you need to say.”

  “Do you remember me telling you my parents passed away along with my brother Michael?”

  “Yes,” he answered.

  “Well, I lied. My parents are alive and well, and my brother, he’s not dead either.”

  Devin peered at me asking, “What do you mean they are not dead?”

  “They are very much alive.”

  “Are you serious right now?” he reacted.

  “As a heart attack.”

  “This is just another reason why I should leave you, because you’ve lied to me all this time. But you want to get on me about how you gave your all and I didn’t. Looks like we both are guilty of the same thing.”

  Ignoring him, I said, “My brother lives right here in Greensboro.”

  Devin stared at me in utter shock. He wasn’t packing much of anything now. He seemed taken aback by this conversation, looking at me like he was trying to figure out where I was going with this. Well, he was getting ready to find out.

  “Your brother is here in Greensboro?” he inquired.

  “He lives in this house.”

  Devin chuckled saying, “Now you are crazy. Something is definitely wrong with you.”

  He walked over to his closet and took out an armful of his slacks and brought them over to the suitcases, placing them all in there like he was trying to get out of here sooner rather than later.

  “It’s the truth,” I professed.

  “I don’t think you would know the truth if it smacked you in the face.”

  “Well, here’s another truth for you. I’m my brother, Michael.”

  Devin halted. With narrowed eyes, he stared at me with a frown, trying to figure out what I was saying.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m Michael.”

  “Wait . . . wait . . . wait . . .” he repeated, rubbing his head as he walked unsteadily to the closet and back to the bed in confusion.

  “My name is Monica, but I used to be Michael,” I revealed.

  Devin’s face contorted in agony as he leaned forward to balance himself by holding his knees. He looked at me, like he was waiting for me to say I was joking, but I knew he understood the expression on my face, and he knew I was speaking the truth.

  “Wait . . .” he whimpered, gripping his stomach as he stumbled back a few steps. “What . . . What are you saying?”

  “I’m telling you I am a transgender man,” I clarified.

  “You’re lying,” he pointed, shifting from one foot to the other. “You’re doing this to keep me from divorcing you.”

  “It’s true, Devin.”

  “But . . . but, you don’t . . .” he sighed like he was going to throw up. “You don’t have a—”

  “Dick?” I finished.

  “Yes,” he answered.

  “I had the sex reassignment surgery before I met you.”

  “But you have tits, and ass, and a vagina. We’ve had sex, and you felt like a woman. You don’t look like a man,” he said in distress.

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment. My surgeon is good at what he does.”

  Devin kept staring at me and turning away but looking back at me trying to see if I was lying. Then again, he could have been examining me to see if there were signs he missed. Either way, I had his full attention now.

  “No. I don’t believe you. I have not seen one sign to confirm what you’re telling me,” he argued.

  “Remember the medication I take every morning. I told you it was because I had high blood pressure and hypothyroidism which caused my weight gain?”

  “Yes . . . but—”

  “Those are my hormone medication and other medication I need for my life as a woman.”

  “Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness,” he kept repeating.

  “This is also why I can’t have children,” I divulged. “Of course, I would have loved to give you a child, but it’s medically impossible. Science hasn’t figured out a way for transgender men to have children yet.”

  I watched Devin sort through his mind trying to understand what I was telling him. To further put the nail in the coffin, I got up from the bed and dropped to my knees to reach down and pulled a safe from under the bed. I had the key around my neck, which I usually kept in my jewelry box, but a part of me knew I would need it today. Sticking the key in the safe lock, I opened it, revealing all my personal and medical information about myself.

  “If you don’t believe me, here’s the proof,” I gestured toward the safe.

  Devin took a few steps toward me but stopped like he didn’t want to see what was in the safe. He probably knew once he had proof of what I was saying, he would have to face the fact I was born a man. Seeing he was not going to come any closer, I pulled out a picture of myself.

  “This is me as Michael,” I said holding up a picture when I was fifteen years old. “Here’s a few more,” I said holding up several more. “Here’s the document showing when I changed my name from Michael to Monica,” I showed him. “And here is the medial documents confirming the surgery I had done.”

  Tears formed in Devin’s eyes. He backed away from me with his hands on his head until his back hit the wall.

  “What have you done to me?” he asked, overcome by this revelation.

  “I’ve done nothing but love you.”

  “But our love was based on a lie,” he yelled.

  “Would you have married me or even dated me if I told you I was once a man?” I asked.

  “Hell no. I’m not gay.”

  “Devin, this does not
make you gay,” I tried to comfort.

  “How the hell doesn’t it? You are a fucking man, Monica, Michael—whoever the hell you are.”

  “I’m a woman. If I had never told you this, you wouldn’t have thought any different.”

  “Then why did you tell me?” he asked.

  “Because I thought you should know. I also didn’t want you to leave me,” I told him.

  “What makes you think I’m going to be with you after what you’ve told me?”

  “Because you don’t want anyone to find out, do you?”

  His entire demeanor changed. Anger quickly turned to dread as the fear of everybody finding out raced through his mind.

  “You wouldn’t,” he murmured.

  “Why wouldn’t I? Your parents wanted to know the truth about me. I would be more than happy to tell them, especially that mother of yours. I wonder how she’s going to take this,” I kidded.

  “You can’t do that.”

  “Why not?” I asked cockily.

  “They will disown me. My parents . . . they . . . They will not understand. Hell, I don’t understand.”

  “You’ve left me with no other choice, honey,” I told him.

  “So, you are trying to blackmail me?”

  “You call it blackmail. I call it trying to keep our marriage together.”

  Devin slid down the wall landing on his behind. I went to him and crouched down beside him. He moved away from me slightly, looking at me like he didn’t know who I was.

  “Devin, I love you so much. I’m still the woman you married.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “I just told you. I love you with everything in me. Look at the life we have together. Look what we’ve accomplished. We have a nice home, nice cars, great jobs, nice clothes, and money in the bank. Many people would kill to have the life we have. I never once stepped out on you. Georgiana can’t say that. Even if you slept with her while you were gone these past few days, I’ll forgive you so we can move on. But this does mean you can’t have any contact with that woman ever again. She’s blatantly trying to take you away from me. She had her chance and messed up. Now, you are mine.”

  “I can’t believe you are doing this to me.”

  “I’m doing this for us.”

  “You will not get away with this.”

  “Devin, the ball is in your court. If you still want to divorce me, then sign the papers and leave them on the kitchen counter. I will sign them and get them to you. But please keep in mind what the aftermath of your decision may be. I have no reason to keep my truth to myself anymore. I will tell everyone. Your parents, your job, the church, Georgiana—everyone. Because if I have to live my life without you in misery, then it will be a misery accompanied by your own misery.”

  Devin stared at me as I stood to my feet. I went over to the bed and gathered my safe, locking it again. I picked it up, looked at my crumpled husband, and exited the room.

  One Month Later

  Monica

  42

  As my guests arrived, I allowed them to arrange their items on the tables I had set up. Each table had an item for them to sort their things out. One table was for shoes, one for jewelry, then tops, bottoms, bags, and then jackets. Each table was running over with items, which I was excited about.

  “Ladies, ladies, calm down. We have enough items for everybody, plus some,” I said looking at the women rummaging through all the pieces brought for the clothing swap party.

  Not only did my girls show up, they came with their hands full of nice things. Vivian was here, and she brought her boss Julia, who also brought items with her. Kellie was here with Victor, and the two of them brought bags, jewelry, and shoes. Sonya was here and brought a new friend, and both of them came with a lot. I also invited a few other ladies to be a part of this day, thinking, the more, the merrier.

  “We have some really nice items here,” Sonya said, picking up a silver necklace.

  “I know, right? I’m excited,” Vivian added.

  “We are not going to fight, push, shove, or scratch each other’s eyes out for these items, ladies. Do you hear me, Kellie and Sonya,” I said, pointing.

  “No, you didn’t bring the shade,” Sonya joked.

  “Just making sure you ladies are good.”

  “I told you, we’ve made up. We’ve hashed out our issues,” Kellie said.

  “I know we’ve told her this before, Kellie, but Monica doesn’t want to believe we are good,” Sonya said, holding a pair of silver Stuart Weitzman stilettos.

  “You know you can’t walk in them,” I told Sonya.

  “I can learn because these bad boys are hot,” she retorted, sticking them in the ecofriendly bag I provided for all the ladies.

  I was happy to see my friends were back to being friends again.

  “I got food in the kitchen, along with drinks, if you all want some,” I announced.

  “Please, tell me you have some wine, honey,” Victor said.

  “Now, what would a party be without wine, Victor?”

  “I knew I loved you for some reason,” he declared.

  “You love anybody who will supply anything free,” Kellie added.

  “That too,” Victor said, laughing. “While you ladies get your rummage on, I’m going to the kitchen to make myself at home.”

  Looking around at everyone in my home made me feel like things were back to normal. My event was a success. I knew these past few weeks had been difficult for all of us. As many things that happened, we had no other choice but to vent to one another or we were going to explode. I believe even Sonya was happy to get some things off her chest.

  Vivian and her husband Sheldon were in a great place. She told us that the woman her husband was with that day in the restaurant was a psychiatrist he was seeing, but she didn’t want to go into the details of why, and we all respected that. We were happy they were happy. Vivian was bragging about all the good sex she was getting now. In that area, I was jealous.

  Kellie did finally file for divorce from Jeffrey who was fighting really hard to get her back. Why, I don’t know. We thought he just messed up giving her the STD, but boy, there was more. Kellie told us everything that happened, down to finding him with another man and Victor telling her this man had AIDS. We were all shocked by this news and afraid for our friend. Kellie’s situation could have been any of ours, so we supported her in what she was going through. Kellie confronted Jeffrey on this bit of news, and he said he was in the clear. This was the same man who denied giving her gonorrhea, so nothing he said could be believed. He wasn’t ready to make his marriage work because if he was, he still wouldn’t be playing those games with Kellie. All that mattered was my friend was healthy. I knew further tests would show she’s okay also. I was praying that over her life. Kellie was a strong woman, who, I believe, was keeping a secret of her own from us in the form of a man. Each time we asked her if she was seeing someone, she blushed. As long as she was happy, I was happy for her.

  As for Sonya, she was going back and forth between two men, Kegan and Damon. As handsome as both of these men were, I felt like Sonya needed to choose one and stop playing with both of their emotions. She, of all people, knew going back and forth between two individuals was going to have some repercussions eventually. Kegan called off his wedding from Imani, who was still threatening Sonya for being the reason why he called off the wedding. Sonya was unfazed and happy about her situation because she felt wonderful for the first time in a long time. Two men wanting her and both vying for her attention . . . what more could a woman want? Maybe to be a grandma. That’s right, Sonya was about to be somebody’s grandma. Meena was expecting. Sonya took her to get checked out after she caught Meena sleeping with some boy. Sonya was rightfully upset, like any mother would be, but a part of her was excited about this little one who would be arriving in six months. One thing for sure, this pregnancy brought her and Meena closer.

  As for me, my identity was still a secret. I’m glad,
because that afternoon when Sonya and Kellie got into it after we went to church that Sunday morning, I was planning on telling my friends who I really was. I felt like I needed to. But fate wouldn’t allow that to happen, which worked for me in the end.

  I got what I wanted. Devin was still living with me. He decided not to sign the divorce papers, but I knew he would make that decision. He didn’t want everyone to find out he’d been sleeping with a man all this time. Who would ever believe he didn’t know? Everyone would look at him like he also played a part in this farce of a marriage and went along with it to satisfy his Christian parents. I knew when he married me, he thought I was a woman. I knew he loved me too, but somewhere in our marriage that changed. I’ve known this for a while but convinced myself we were going to be okay. That was, until he verbally expressed not loving me anymore. Then it was real, and something I had to face head-on. I could no longer hide behind my own delusion of what I thought our marriage to be.

  Finally understanding what he wanted was devastating. Devin thought he could divorce me and move on with his life with Georgiana, but I wasn’t going to have that. Was I wrong for blackmailing him? Yes, I was. Did I still believe he loved me? I knew he didn’t. But that didn’t matter to me anymore. As long as Georgiana couldn’t have him, I was happy. I knew that was crazy, but I’d rather him be unhappily stuck with me than happy with her. Served him right for breaking my heart and thinking he could treat me any kind of way.

  Now, Georgiana was out of the picture. That poor woman was devastated when Devin had to break it off with her. I made him put the conversation on speaker so I could hear it. He didn’t want to, but he had no choice in the matter. Georgiana wept uncontrollably as she pleaded for him to take her back. I could see the internal struggle he was having with himself, but he had to do what was best for the sake of our marriage.

  When his parents found out, all hell broke loose. They could not believe Devin chose me over Georgiana. I knew they were ticked off by his decision, especially his mother, Isabelle. I have to say, Devin was very convincing when he told them why he was staying in his marriage. He told them his vows meant something to him, and as Christians, they should understand that. Little did they know their son was trying to spare them the embarrassment of a scandal. Was I afraid Devin would do something to me? No. You had to have a backup plan to your backup plan. If anything ever happened to me, you best believe this big girl would be the talk of the town.