When To Fear The Living

by B. L. Brunnemer

  “Hey sweetness, tell me you're surrounded by hot guys,” Jake's cheerful voice made me smile. He was the only person who I could really talk about the guys to, at least about how hot they were.

  “Always, handsome,” I said as if it were obvious. He chuckled. “I need a favor, are you free Saturday?”

  “Let me guess, you still haven't found a dress?”

  “Nope, can you help?” I asked, sweetly, watching the conversation going on around me.

  “Yeah, what are you looking for?” Jake asked. There was a familiar husky voice in the background, my stomach knotted even more. It was Dylan. “Hold on a sec, sweetness.” I listened to Jake tell Dylan to chill the fuck out. “I'm back.”

  “I keep finding way too girly stuff. Like, princess shit and I can't stand it,” I grumbled.

  Jake chuckled. “I imagine black?”

  “Of course,” I replied.

  “Are we going for sexy elegant or sweet?”

  “What do you think?” I countered.

  “Sexy elegant it is,” Jake sounded proud. “I have an Aunt that has a shop here in Dulcet. She's got great taste. Come meet me on Saturday, and we'll have some fun.” I smiled.

  “That would sound so dirty if you were straight,” I said, smiling. He snickered.

  “True, very true,” Jake offered. Dylan's voice spoke again. He sighed. “Lexie, Dylan is asking to talk to you.” Jake’s voice was pained.

  “Tell him I have to go, the bell rang,” I said, innocently.

  “You got it. See you Saturday.” I hung up the phone then smiled at Riley.

  “We have a shopping date Saturday with our favorite guy,” I announced. Riley frowned.

  “As in this Saturday? I'm stuck watching my cousins that day,” She grumbled. “I love Jake.”

  “Me too, we need to find him a hot guy of his own, though,” I thought out loud as the guys groaned, Isaac winced.

  “Not today,” Zeke groaned painfully, Riley and I giggled. It was almost time for the bell, I packed up my stuff and asked if anyone had any tape. Miles, of course, pulled out a small roll of scotch tape and handed it to me.

  “Thank you, sir,” I said in my fake British accent.

  “You’re welcome, my lady,” Miles answered in his gallant voice. I was smiling as I headed back to my locker. I put the note up just as the bell rang. Joy, gym.

  On the way out of art class, Asher showed me his latest drawing attempt. It was robots on the moon, and there wasn’t a single stick figure in sight. Oh, wait, there he was, falling off a crater and becoming a splat at the bottom.

  “I like it,” I told him as I pulled my bag onto my shoulder.

  “Keep it.” He handed it to me, grinning as we walked out into the hallway. I rolled it and slipped it into my bag as we headed to my locker to pick up my books.

  “Where’d you get the idea?” I asked. He shrugged, his cheeks turning pink.

  “I was bored a couple days ago, so, I found some how to draw videos for kids online,” He admitted. I burst out laughing. “Hey, I actually liked some of the drawings they did. Robots on the moon looked fun to me,” He admitted. I wrapped my arm around his and gave him a squeeze. I smiled up at him.

  “Ash, that is so freaking cute,” I said. He snorted as I let go. Asher walked with me back to my locker to pick up my books. Since we got back from vacation, I sometimes stowed my books in my locker at lunch. Walking there and back gave the parking lot time to empty out a bit and a little more time with Asher, but I wasn’t admitting it.

  “It is not,” He muttered as we turned down another hall. “I was just bored out of my mind.”

  “Well, next time you’re that bored come over to my house, we can do a movie marathon,” I offered, smiling.

  “Or we can go out and do something fun,” He said as he grinned down at me. “Like.... ice skating. The lake’s still frozen, and it’s something you should do at least once a year. Or go to a movie?” He offered, I grumbled.

  “You want me, on ice, with skates? Are you trying to find ways to watch me make a fool out of myself?” I asked, dryly. He chuckled as we turned down the hall where my locker was.

  “There’s also snowboarding, skiing, and snowmobiling,” He offered. I thought about it.

  “If you promise there will be no recording devices of any kind,” I said. He smiled that smile at me that sent my pulse into overdrive.

  “I promise, there will be no recording devices of any kind,” He assured me. When did his smile get so killer?

  “Then I’ll try, but I’m not promising anything,” I grumbled as we reached my locker. The note on the door was gone. I opened my locker, there was a folded piece of paper on my books. “That was fast,” I picked up the note.

  “What?”

  “Secret admirer guy,” I said as I opened the note. “He wrote back.”

  Who’s Dylan? I don’t know anyone by that name. I’ve seen you around campus, you're beautiful, and kind of hard to miss. Honestly, I just want to get to know you. I’m socially awkward and say the wrong thing at times. I can write and rewrite a note to make sure I’m not saying something in an offensive way which I can’t do in person. - Your Secret Admirer

  “He’s not a friend of Dylan’s,” I said, surprised.

  Asher leaned against the locker next to mine. “Then who is it?” I handed him the note. As he read it, I pulled out my notebook and wrote a letter back. “This guy has a crush,” He announced. I sighed as I tore out the note. “What’d you write back?” His voice was a little strained, but I was trying to find that tape Miles had given me and wasn’t paying attention. I handed Asher the note so I could find it not expecting he’d read it out loud. “Secret Admirer, Dylan is my ex who’s trying to get me to go out with him again. I thought you might be one of his friends trying to help him out. I’m sorry but I’m just out of a break up, and I’m really not looking to date right now, but a friend is always welcome. By the way, have I actually met you? Lexie.” I winced, that was really blunt.

  “Too harsh?” I pulled the tape from my bag. Asher had a strange half grin on his face as he reread it.

  “No, it’s direct. You’re letting him know you're not interested, but you’re willing to be his friend. If he doesn’t want that, then he knows not to waste his time.” Asher still had the strange half grin on his face as he handed the note back to me. I put the note on my locker door. I started to shove my books in my bag. “You’re not even looking for a date to Winter Formal, are you?” He asked, quietly.

  I thought about it as I put the last book in my bag and shut my locker. “It would be nice,” I admitted as we started walking again. “But I’m not looking for anything romantic right now, and I wouldn’t want the guy to get the wrong idea.” I shrugged. Then I got an idea. “Hell, maybe I’ll ask Jake if he wants to come, bonus, grope free dancing.” Asher chuckled as we turned down another hallway.

  “Well, both Isaac and I are going. So, you’d have grope free dancing anyway,” Asher reminded me. I grinned.

  “That‘s true.” We were headed out to the student lot when I heard my name being called. I turned around and spotted Doyle Barns walking toward us.

  “He’s still after you?” Asher asked his voice full of disbelief.

  “I guess,” I muttered. We had met Doyle during a party in December, he'd been trying to pool shark Isaac, so, I hustled him. He'd been saying hi to me ever since. I had originally thought he was an asshole, but over the last couple weeks, he’d been nothing but nice. Doyle was a head and a half taller than me, his blonde hair was nicely trimmed, his gray eyes were smiling as he walked towards us. Sure, Doyle wasn’t bad on the eyes. However, considering who I hung out with, I had much higher standards for hotness.

  “I'll leave you to it.” Asher grinned down at me before he started walking off.

  “Traitor,” I hissed at him. Asher chuckled as he headed for the lot.

  “Hey Lexie, did ya paint anything good today?” Doyle asked, his voice cheerful. I s
hrugged before unrolling the paper under my arm. It was a bouquet of flowers, I had no choice.

  “It looks great,” His eyes went to my face, he grinned. “You hate it right?” I nodded.

  “Too cheerful,” I grumbled. Doyle chuckled, his eyes warm eyes met mine.

  “I heard that you and Dylan broke up,” He said. “Break-ups suck.” I snorted as I began rolling up the picture.

  “Yeah, they do,” I admitted. Doyle leaned down so he could meet my eyes again.

  “You're still too pretty for him anyway,” He said, matter-of-factly. I chuckled and smiled at him. He grinned back. “I'll see you around, Lexie,” Doyle said before he took off into the hallway, I sighed. Doyle had been making a point to make me smile lately. It was sweet, but I didn't want him to think I was interested. I wasn't really interested in anyone now. Well, anyone I could have. I grumbled to myself as I headed for my '89 Blazer, I got into my truck and headed across town to the Gym. I had been looking at Asher different ever since I spent the week at his house working to build my link to the Veil. During that week, I had horrible nightmares from the soul of a sadistic killer. I woke up forgetting who I was, I thought I had done the terrible things in my nightmares. Asher held me night after night, reminding me who I was until I came back, and then he'd hold me as I shook. He’d remind me who I am, that I didn't do those things. Ever since that week, I looked at him differently. I pulled into the parking lot of the gym and parked between the twins' car and Miles'. I'm going to ignore my feelings, and they are going to go away, right? Right, time to get my ass kicked.

  Two hours later I dropped to the mat because I put myself off balance, again.

  So, Zeke had given me a small shove. I hated Zeke with a passion right now, the asshole always pushed me until I wanted to puke. After the weights, the bag, the jump rope and the fucking running he insisted on, I was tired. I lay on the mat gasping, sweating, and waiting to see if I’d be sick. Zeke’s sweaty face came into view as he bent down to look at me, at least the fucker wasn’t grinning. “I hate you,” I grumbled.

  “And your point?” Zeke asked. I groaned as I sat up. “I wasn’t supposed to have fight training tonight,” I reminded him.

  “It’s for not telling me about those notes sooner,” He smirked down at me. I flipped him off. He chuckled as he reached down and pulled me to my feet by my hands. I got up, my stomach still iffy, and I had to blink to focus a little more.

  “Zeke, seriously, my stomach is rolling, and I’m getting light headed.” His eyes ran over my face.

  “Okay, one more set and we’re done,” He ordered. I groaned as I moved into position, my arms already feeling dead. Zeke put on the padded mitts again, he held them out, and I went at it. I punched the first mitt and moved immediately to the other, then back. Only Zeke had moved it making me move to hit it properly, or he’d knock me down when I was off balance, again. I hit, Zeke took half a step back, I kicked the other mitt. My lungs were burning as I switched my stance and kicked the mitt he held at his chest level. He held one down for me to practice a sweep, I hit. That's when the world really began to spin, and I dropped to the mat. Just barely catching myself with my arms and landing on my butt.

  “Lexie!” Zeke’s face was in front of me, his hand on my chin forcing me to look at him.

  “Just dizzy,” I muttered. Zeke frowned at me.

  “Didn’t you eat lunch?” He growled at me. A couple of other people were watching us, someone going down in the gym was never good or ignored. The spinning was slowing down a little. A guy around our age came over to our mat out. “Lexie, answer me!” Zeke shouted at me.

  “Yeah, I ate lunch you dick,” I shot back. There was laughing coming from somewhere in the gym. Zeke frowned at me.

  “Did you eat it, or did you take a couple bites and stop?” He growled.

  "Go to hell," I grumbled back. The butt-head knew me too well. “Damn it, Lexie,” He shot back. “Have you been drinking water?”

  “No, I drank ammonia,” I snapped back. Zeke snorted.

  “Are you alright?” Someone asked. I turned from Zeke to look up at him. I recognized him, it was the guy who eavesdropped on a conversation the guys and I had once. I nodded then went back to glaring at Zeke.

  “Yeah, she was stupid and didn’t eat at lunch,” Zeke growled. The world was almost done spinning. “You’re such a stubborn shit sometimes.”

  “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that!” Eavesdropping guy snapped. We ignored him.

  “I wouldn’t be on the floor if you had fucking listened to me,” I countered.

  “You wouldn’t be on the floor if you ate your lunch,” He shot back.

  “Don’t worry about it, they argue like this all the time. It gets pretty funny sometimes. Just watch the show,” Someone called from one of the other mats. The guy, I didn’t really look at him again for I was too busy glaring at Zeke, stepped away. I flipped Zeke off before trying to get up, it didn’t work. The world spun again, and I dropped back on my butt. Zeke seemed to realize I was in more trouble than I thought, his glare disappeared, and worry filled his eyes.

  “Lexie?”

  “Ooh... okay, we may have a problem,” I admitted. He dropped the other mitt and took my hands in his big calloused ones.

  “Let’s get you up and see if it stops,” He said, his voice having lost its pissed off tone already. He stood up still holding my hands. “One, two, three.” He pulled while I stood and the world spun again.

  “Shit.” I was instantly leaning against Zeke’s chest. My forehead resting on his shirt as the world tilted. His hands on my arms were keeping me steady.

  After a few seconds, he asked, “Is it getting better?”

  “Nope.” I closed my eyes hoping that would help, Zeke cursed. Reaching down, he picked me up and cradled me against his chest. The world spun even worse as I clung to his shirt.

  “Damn Zeke... slow down, or I’m gonna puke.”

  “Come on, there’s some juice in my bag that you’re going to drink, it should help,” He growled. Zeke started moving, I kept my eyes closed.

  “Yeah, but how long has it been there?” I grumbled.

  “Is she okay?” Dave, one of the trainers, called out.

  “She’s dizzy because she didn’t eat,” Zeke bit out. I pointed my finger in the air.

  “I told him I wanted to puke and was light headed Dave! He made me do another set!” I defended myself. Chuckles ran around the room as Zeke carried me through the gym. The arguing Zeke and I did wasn’t new to anyone here, but we did provide entertainment.

  “What happened?” Miles' voice came from somewhere.

  “Zeke broke Red!”

  “Ally?”

  “Whoa, what happened to Beautiful?”

  “She’s dizzy cause she didn’t eat lunch,” Zeke growled. As he walked past them, I leaned back so I could see the boys past Zeke's massive shoulder.

  “I told him I was lightheaded, and the asshole made me do another set! Get him!” I demanded. They all chuckled.

  “We’re staying out of this, Red,” Isaac said as he backed away.

  “Yeah, we’re not stupid enough to get between you two when you’re fighting,” Ethan called before he went back to training. Zeke huffed as he carried me over to the lockers and set me down on the bench. I took deep breaths as Zeke opened his locker, yanked out his bag, and started going through it. He pulled out one of those apple juices you get at the gas station and handed it to me. I opened it and took a drink as Zeke sat next to me. He waited until I was half done before he started in on me.

  “Lexie, you can’t be forgetting to eat,” Zeke began. My mouth was full of juice, so I couldn’t tell him off. “Serena said you needed to take care of yourself, it’s not a choice.” I hated this lecture. I hated even more that he was right. Serena was a witch in Northridge. She was the one to tell me that I was a Necromancer and what I had to do to stay alive, which meant taking care of my body and mind. And Zeke never let me forget it.


  “You think I did this on purpose?” I asked before taking another drink.

  “You had your lunch out, why didn’t you fucking eat it?” Zeke snapped his eyes narrowed on my face. I glared at him knowing a fight was coming. It was all we seemed to do lately, I had enough. Instead of avoiding the reason, I just told him.

  “Because your girlfriend asked me about my ex, and my stomach knotted.” He went still next to me. “I lost my fucking appetite,” I bit out. He groaned painfully, it was girl stuff, Zeke didn’t do well with girl stuff. He rested his elbows on his knees and glared at the ground.

  “You can’t let a break up with some jackass make you stop taking care of yourself,” He said in his ‘I’m trying to be patient’ voice, but it always came out condescending.

  “Well, I’m sorry I’m not able to control every feeling I have like you can,” I shot back more than a little irritated. I got up and threw away the empty juice bottle. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I eat every fucking meal from now on,” I called out over my shoulder. Pissed off and hurting, I pulled my coat and keys out of my locker before slamming it shut.

  “Lexie,” He snapped. I ignored him on my way out the door, I was too mad to talk rationally about anything right now. I pulled on my jacket and was almost to my truck when I heard him again. “Lexie!” Zeke barked. Great, he followed, I kept walking. Zeke grabbed my arm pulling me to a stop. I turned to him and jerked my arm out of his grip. It was easy, Zeke never grabbed me with a hard grip anyway.

  “Ya know, if you had listened when I told you I was light headed, I wouldn’t have even had a problem,” I pointed out, still pissed off. “But no, it’s my fault for not eating enough, it’s my fault for not controlling my emotions.” I looked at him exasperated. “You have these insane expectations of me, and I’m always falling short. Here’s the kicker, I don’t even know what they are!” Zeke’s face was growing hard. “So, fuck you and your expectations.” I turned around, unlocked the truck.

  “Yeah, having you take care of yourself, that’s a real fucking insane expectation!” Zeke shouted back. I turned back around.

  “And you actually listening at the gym when I tell you I’m light headed would be a fucking miracle! Cause let’s face it, Zeke! You love pushing me till I want to puke. In fact, ya live for it.” I climbed into my truck and took off, leaving Zeke running his hand through his hair in the parking lot. I was so tired of fighting with Zeke. For once, I just wanted him to stop expecting me to have his perfect control.