When To Fear The Living

by B. L. Brunnemer

  Once I got home, I slammed the Blazer door shut before I stormed towards the house. I ignored the pain radiating down my neck as my nose started bleeding. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with all the camped-out ghosts today. There were ten of them now, standing around in the front yard, demanding I help them cross. I had explained over, and over that I was working on it. But, apparently, that wasn't good enough, they surged toward me. Today was a bad day for it.

  “Back the hell off,” I hissed at them putting my will into my voice. The closest four were shoved back a good five feet. The others scrambled out of my way. “I’m working on it.” I went inside and slammed the door behind me. Hades, my 3-month-old Neapolitan Mastiff puppy, came running over to me with his tail going crazy. The little dog had a big growth spurt in the last month. His head was now at my knee, and he weighed 54lbs. He was almost too big for me to pick up anymore. I dropped my bag, and smiled as I lifted him up. “Hey Hades baby, did you have a good day?” He licked my cheek. “I had an okay one, until Zeke was a dick.” He looked up at me with his bright puppy eyes, he instantly made my day better. Still fuming over what happened, I took him upstairs with me and put him on my bed so I could get clothes for after my shower. I was pulling underwear out of my drawer when my phone rang. It was Ethan, I answered the phone. “Hey.”

  “You okay, Beautiful?” He asked immediately. “Cause Zeke is pounding into a heavy bag that I’m pretty sure they are going to have to replace now.” I rolled my eyes at the image.

  “Yeah, peachy,” I told him dryly.

  “Liar,” His smoky voice grew gentler. “What happened?”

  “I didn’t eat much of my lunch. I told him I was lightheaded and he made me do another set anyway,” I explained quickly as I finished getting my clothes together. “He didn’t listen to me, and then got pissed at me for losing my appetite at lunch, as if I meant to do it. And I’ve about had it with his expectations.” Then I had a thought. “Oh, and tell him ‘Zeke’s messing with me.’ Wouldn’t want to violate my fucking probation,” I snapped, my voice frustrated.

  “Whoa, okay,” Ethan said, his voice impressed. “What is it with you two lately? You guys have been going at it all the time.” I took a deep breath and came up blank.

  “If you figure it out, let me know, cause I’m just....” I paused as I realized what was going on. I was about fed up with this probation crap of Zeke's. I sighed. “I have a short fuse right now, and Zeke just keeps lighting a match.”

  “Yeah, he’s suicidal that way,” Ethan agreed. I snorted. “I’ll talk to him, Beautiful.”

  “Good luck, his skull is thicker than mine,” I countered. Ethan chuckling in my ear made me smile.

  “Still want us over for homework?”

  “Yeah, if our pattern holds we’ll both be ready to talk in an hour or so,” I grumbled.

  “See you soon.”

  “Bye.” I hung up, grabbed my clothes, then went and took a shower. I was sick of fighting with Zeke. But if I didn’t argue with him, well, no one argued with him, and the shithead needed it. I loved ruffling his feathers about stupid stuff, but when it’s about something like this... I hated it. It made my gut knot and gave me the urge to hit someone, usually a tall, blue-eyed ass.

  I finished showering and got dressed. I pulled on my black flannel jammy bottoms with white skulls everywhere, then my black Five Finger Death Punch shirt. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun before getting Hades from my bed and going downstairs. I could already hear the others at the table. I got to the bottom of the stairs and put Hades down who immediately went to greet the guys. Zeke wasn’t there yet, figures. Rory was on the phone with somebody, he waved to me before walking into his bedroom and closing the door. I grabbed my bag and brought it to the table.

  Isaac eyed me as I took the seat next to Miles. “Hey Red, you look pretty,” He told me with a funny look on his face, I snorted then smiled at him. He grinned back.

  “Thanks, Cookie Monster,” I said. Isaac shot a look at Ethan.

  “Told ya I could make her smile,” Isaac said smugly. I chuckled as Ethan pulled out a dollar and handed it to him.

  “Where is tall and grumpy?” I pulled out my books.

  “He was still at the gym when we left,” Miles said. “But he was winding down.”

  “He’s on the phone with Rory now,” Ethan added. I nodded, I figured that when Rory went into his room.

  “Asking if the coast is clear?” I asked as I finished pulling out my books. The guys chuckled. “You are both on edge. It makes you both...” Miles paused as he looked for a word.

  “Bitchy?” I offered, grinning. Miles' eyes narrowed on me.

  “I wouldn’t say that,” He said.

  “I know. That’s why I did.” I grinned at him. Miles gave me a ‘what am I going to do with you’ look. I just winked at him. I was pulling out my World Civ. when Rory came out of his bedroom. My Uncle was tall and fit, for a cop that was astonishing, at least that’s what I always teased him about. He had the Delaney copper red hair, but he had Grandpa’s brown eyes, at least according to him. I’d never met the man. My Uncle was good looking in that guy next door way but his mischievous side was never too far away. In fact, just yesterday the twins had come out of school to find the trunk of their car full of ping pong balls. That one had been funny as hell.

  “So, you and Zeke went at it today again, huh?” Rory asked. He grinned at me as he went to hang up the cordless.

  “He started it,” I said instantly. Everyone chuckled. “I’ll talk to him when he shows up,” I mumbled. Rory nodded.

  “Good, he’s going to be late, he came out of the gym and found he had a flat tire,” Rory said. I snorted. Zeke really was having a bad day. Rory looked to Asher. “Got that list for dinner tonight? I might as well hit the store now.” Asher turned the pages in his notebook and yanked out a page before handing it to Rory. Asher was cooking dinner tonight, so Rory did the shopping. It worked for everyone, especially Rory, who couldn’t boil water.

  As I was working on my World Civ. chapter questions, the front door opened. I didn’t even need to be told, I knew it was Zeke. I just got up, grabbed my coat off the back of the couch, and headed out back. It had become our routine lately. I pulled my coat, stepped into galoshes before stepping outside and closing the door behind me. Zeke was already sitting on one of the plastic covered patio couches, I sat on the one across from him. He was resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the snow on the ground. We were both quiet, waiting for the other one to go first. He went first last time. I sighed.

  “I should have eaten my lunch,” I muttered, hating to admit it. I hated going first, it always felt like I was saying it was my fault.

  “I should have listened when you told me you were lightheaded,” He admitted. He shook his head, his jaw clenching. “I wasn’t thinking about your stamina level like I should have been. I was just...” He cursed before lifting his head to meet my eyes, his face was hard. “How many times have you puked from working out with me?” He asked in his ‘answer me now’ voice. Great, now Zeke was mad at himself.

  “None, but my stomach is usually rolling by the end of our sessions,” I admitted. His eyes narrowed on mine. “Are you lying?”

  “No, if I had, I’d tell you. Loudly and often,” I countered. The corner of his lips twitched. The shadows in his eyes were still there. I looked out toward the lake waiting for him to tell me what was going on with him but he didn’t. So, I looked at him and asked. “I know why I’ve been on edge, why are you?”

  He met my eyes unflinching. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay.”

  “We good?” He asked, gruffly. “Yeah, we’re good.” I waited for a beat. “Asshole,”

  He grinned at me, releasing some of the shadows in his eyes, “Harpy.”

  “Shit head.”

  “Usually,” He admitted. I chuckled as I got up. He got to his feet and met me in the middle for our usual makeup hug. I wrapped my arm
s around his waist and rested my cheek on his chest, his arms wrapped around my upper back and shoulders. He rested his cheek on my hair as he squeezed gently. He whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take my shit out on you.” I squeezed him back.

  “I’m sorry too. I’ve been on edge and it’s not helping,” I whispered back. I gave him another squeeze then moved away. I looked up at him, his eyes were still shadowed but not as much at least. “Come on, we’ve got homework.”

  I was struggling with my math homework when my phone rang. Grumbling, I answered it.

  “Hello.” There was silence on the line. “Hello?” Nothing. “If you can hear me, I can’t hear you, so call back.” There was still nothing so I hung up. I went back to my own math torture. I was trying the same problem for the third time when my phone rang again.

  Not paying attention I answered it, “Hello.”

  “Hey, Lexie.” Dylan’s husky voice rolled through my ear. I immediately closed my eyes and wished I had checked caller ID. My stomach knotted, but no heart ache this time. Yay!

  “Um, hi, what do you need?” I asked, trying to be polite. I went back to my homework, giving him half my attention.

  “Jake said you were going to the Winter Formal,” He was talking as if we just ran into each other on the street. “If you can find a dress you like.”

  “Yeah?”

  “He told me you didn’t have a date, and if you didn’t... I thought maybe I could take you,” Dylan suggested, his voice confident.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, not really paying attention. I looked at the problem again, what the hell was I getting wrong?

  “Lexie, I miss you.”

  “Yeah, well, you broke up with me. Not seeing me is kinda part of that,” I said matter of fact. It vaguely registered that the guys had all stopped doing their homework and were watching me, I didn’t care, I was trying to figure out if this number was a seven or a nine.

  “It was a stupid thing to do.” Dylan’s voice was pained.

  “Breaking up with me wasn't stupid. The stupid part was telling me I had too many problems for you to deal with.” I frowned at the page. What the...? “That hurt, and you did it on purpose.”

  “I didn't mean to hurt you, Lexie. I'm sorry, I was exhausted-”

  “Yeah, you said that before,” I began, not really paying attention. “Look, this algebra is kicking my-”

  “Sunshine-”

  “I told you to never fucking call me that again,” I snapped into the phone, my voice hard. I looked up to glare out the back door. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.

  “It slipped-”

  “No, that was intentional, and so is this.” I hung up the phone just as Zeke reached for it. I looked at him and the others quizzically, they were all watching me. “What?” The guys burst out laughing. Zeke was smirking as he headed back to his chair, I eyed him. “What were you doing?” I asked.

  “I was going to tell him to fuck off for you,” Zeke admitted. I snorted.

  “Have I ever had a problem telling someone to fuck off?” I reminded him

  “No,” Zeke admitted. I smiled at him.

  “He’s calling again?” Isaac asked from across the table.

  “Yeah, he wants to get back together,” I grumbled shifting Hades in my lap. “He called a few days after he broke up with me and tried. Then he backed off, and he came back, then backed off. I guess he's back again.” I looked to Miles next to me. “Miles, can you explain what I'm screwing up here? Please?” Miles gave me that gentle half smile of his then looked down at my notebook. I scooted my chair closer to show him the problem. Hades didn’t even lift his head at the movement. Miles half turned towards me, putting his forearm along the back of my chair as I explained to him what I was supposed to be doing. Asher picked up his phone.

  “I’m going to take Hades outside,” Asher announced. I looked down in my lap at my big ball of love.

  “Hades, want to go outside with Ash?” I asked in my cutesy voice. The dog's tail wagged as he slid off my legs to go with Asher. They went outside as I went back to my math problem. Miles began explaining what I kept doing wrong in his sweet, polite way. Apparently, I was skipping one step, doing the next, and then doing the step I should have done first. Asher came back in a little later, Hades came back to my side and wanted back in my lap.

  “Well?” Zeke asked as I picked Hades up again, the puppy draped across my lap like a living, breathing blanket. I looked up to see Asher nod his head with a shit eating grin on his face. I instantly got suspicious.

  “What did you do?” I asked. The guys all chuckled, oh, that wasn't good.

  “Just... had a chat with a friend,” Asher said like it was nothing. I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Uh-huh, which friend?” I asked directly. Asher tried to look innocent.

  “Oh, just one I haven't talked to in a few weeks,” Asher answered as he sat back down.

  “Ash....”

  “Ally.” Asher had no remorse.

  “He was your friend first,” I pointed out. Asher snorted as he went back to his homework.

  “My friend wouldn't have said that shit to my other friend.” He looked down the table at me and winked. “Don't worry about it, Ally girl.” I rolled my eyes and went back to my homework. I wasn't going to worry about it, but I was going to enjoy it. I had a half smile on my face when my phone vibrated, I checked it.

  Dylan: I'm sorry.

  I sighed and put the phone down. I was trying to do the math problem with Miles coaching me when Ethan snagged my phone.

  “Snoopy,” I warned Ethan, not even looking up from my homework. Ethan just snickered and checked my messages.

  “Man, this guy has got balls,” Ethan announced.

  “Yeah, too bad he didn't have them when we were dating,” I said absently. The guys burst out laughing. I looked up to see a grin on Miles’ face as he shook his head. I smirked at him and went back to trying to do the math problem correctly. Though with Miles' thumb slowly rubbing up and down my shoulder blade, it was a little hard to concentrate as warm tingles ran down my back. Miles ended up having to go through each math problem with me one at a time. I was starting to hate math, but at least with Miles helping I was going to pass. Luckily, he had already finished his homework when I had asked for help.

  Rory came home with the groceries. Everyone brought them in then Asher went to start dinner. We were still at the table when Tara came home a little later. Over the last couple months, Tara figured out that the more she hit on Asher, the less he came around the house. So, Tara had been easier around the guys lately. She still avoided Zeke like the plague, I thought it was funny as hell. Tara walked in with a big smile.

  “Hi everyone,” Tara said sweetly. My cousin was pretty, and she knew it. She wore her long blonde hair down today, her makeup perfectly accented her big blue eyes.

  “Hi,” Everyone called absently. Tara came around the table to sit across from me and pull her own books out. We were alone at the table and Miles was watching me do the last problem on my own to make sure I had it down. When I finished the problem, I looked up at Miles.

  “Did I get it right?” I asked, uncertainly. Miles grinned down at me, his warm eyes running over my face.

  “You got it,” He said. I threw my arms up in victory. He chuckled.

  “Dinner, books off the table,” Asher called from the kitchen. Good, I was starving. I shoved my books back into my bag and dropped it onto the floor as the guys brought over the big serving dishes full of food. Hades woke up and sniffed at the table top.

  “Oh no, you don’t baby,” I told him firmly as I picked him up and put him on the floor. “Dinner time, no begging and I’ll give you a treat.” Hades ran over to his dish and started munching away. Zeke walked in, a storm cloud practically hovering over his head, his call must not have gone well. Everyone sat down and started passing food around. It was chicken fettuccine alfredo with a green salad and garlic bread
, all homemade by Asher, of course. I was reaching for a piece of garlic bread when Isaac snagged it out from under my hand. I smacked his hand before he got far, he dropped it to the table. I snagged it and brought it back to my plate fast. “There’s plenty of bread, get your own Cookie Monster,” I shot across the table as everyone chuckled at us. Isaac stuck his tongue out at me before grabbing a different piece.

  Conversation flowed around the table, even Tara was talking with the guys. Except for Zeke, she never spoke to Zeke or even acknowledged him. I wondered what would happen if he sat next to Tara at dinner one night, her head might explode. I smiled at the thought, though Tara still didn’t talk to me that often either. Ever since I came to live here in October, Tara and I hadn’t gotten along. I knew I wasn’t the greatest cousin in the world, but I was trying more lately with her. We even had a handful of conversations without arguing since Christmas, which I took as a good sign.

  Dinner was loud and noisy. It felt like the guys had been with us for years and it always made me feel good to have them around. I glanced at Asher, then Miles. Maybe not the same reasons for all them. I looked down at my plate as I rolled noodles around my fork, not really paying attention to it. When Miles had come home from Nevada in December, something inside me relaxed, I hadn’t even noticed I was tense until then. He was sweet, thoughtful, considerate and the fact he was brilliant was a big turn on, I winced at the thought. Stop thinking that way Lexie, he’s your friend, that’s all you will ever be. I was still chastising myself when a piece of garlic bread hit me in the shoulder. I looked up to find Zeke across the table giving me the stink eye. I rolled my eyes, picked up the bread, and took a bite of noodles. When he wasn’t looking, I threw the bread back at him, hitting him in the cheek. I sniggered. Zeke turned and gave me a warning glare, I stuck my tongue out at him. The corner of his mouth twitched before he went back to talking to Isaac. Wow, he was grumpy.