Beneath the Vine

by Lillian Bryant

  “What are you thinking about?” Gage’s voice was heavy with sleep, and when I opened my eyes, I was met with his penetrating stare.

  “Everything… you,” I answered, honestly.

  Gage dusted his fingertips up the curve of my hip and along my ribcage. He took a piece of my hair and placed it behind my ear. “How are you feeling?” he asked as his fingertips found their way across the surface of my skin.

  “Tired, but a good tired.” I laughed quietly and he grinned, a dimple forming in his cheek. “Where’s Bennett?”

  “He had an early meeting. He should be back by eleven. If you're tired, go back to sleep.” He pulled the sheet over my body. “Are you cold?”

  “I am.”

  “Come here.” He pulled me closer.

  I nuzzled against his chest. He smelled amazing. “You smell really good.”

  He laughed and I heard it rumble in his chest. I’d noticed last night, Gage smelled like home. It was a mixture of him, a clean soapy smell, and a hint of sweet citrus. It was nostalgic for some reason, and it made my heart beat just a bit faster. He’d held me with a gentle touch, with a certain reverence last night. It was such a contrast after he’d taken my body and made it his in a way I’d never experienced. My arms had clung to him, held on tight as I found my breath… my heart again. Gage demanded that you felt everything. He made sure that I knew it was him that had me so far gone, it was him that was splitting me open and giving me more than I thought I could ever take.

  The tip of his nose tickled under my ear as he took a breath. “You smell just as good as the first time I saw you.” His gravelly voice vibrated against my skin and made me shiver. “Tell me something.”

  I pulled away and met his gaze. My brows creased in confusion.

  “Tell me something… anything. What were you just thinking?”

  I felt the heat fill my cheeks. “You smell like home.”

  He swallowed. “So do you.”

  My throat started to ache as I held back the emotion that was causing my breaths to come too quickly. I couldn’t fall for Gage. I couldn’t fall for him or Bennett. It wasn’t right. But, I was, and I couldn’t help it.

  “Tell me something else.” He pulled me closer as he spoke and the feel of his arm grounded me.

  I wanted him to have a secret. “I hate the smell of vanilla. It reminds me of Morelli’s Bakery where my mother wasted her life.” This time my eyes filled and spilled over and Gage caught the tears with his lips.

  “Why do you think she wasted her life?” he asked. His mouth moved with a feathered touch along my cheek.

  “She worked day in and day out, for hardly any money, and in the end, what was it all for? She died a slow death. Cancer. My mother was the best person, the most loving soul, and she died never doing anything for herself.” The lump in my throat was unbearable as I tried to hold back the real torrent.

  “She didn’t waste her life, Gio. She built one. She worked hard and raised an incredible daughter. You’re wrong. You were what she did for herself… you were her greatest achievement.” I let a sob escape my throat and I began to cry as Gage’s words filled the cracks in my heart.

  He rolled onto his back bringing my cheek to his chest letting my tears fall onto his skin. He held me like we’d been together for years, like this was just any other day and I was his and he was mine and we’d had a history and a love affair to rival any other.

  I inhaled in an effort to speak. “What about you? It’s your turn. What were you just thinking?”

  I listened as his heartbeat increased. “This is the most intimate I’ve ever been with a woman.”

  My lips parted and I raised up on my elbow so I could see his eyes. His thumb grazed along the line of my jaw as I watched him gather his thoughts. “What about last night?”

  “That was purely physical, Gio. This…” he took a breath and brought his hand to my cheek, “…the need to know you… it’s more than I usually allow myself to feel.”

  “I want you to know me.”

  He rolled our bodies so that he was now holding himself over me. He searched my face, his eyes landing on my mouth. The hard plane of his chest was just inches from my naked flesh. He brushed his lips across mine and I sighed. “Then tell me, all of it… let me see who you really are.” He crashed his mouth to mine capturing my unspoken words, kissing me with an intensity that only Gage delivered.

  The taste of her lips on mine, it was overpowering. Having Gio to myself was everything I wanted, but this wasn’t my bed, or my four walls, or my girl. I rolled onto my side and she breathed out a light exhale as our mouths parted. I laid on my back and searched the ceiling of Bennett’s apartment, trying to calm the need I felt building in my chest. She wanted me to know her, and hell, if I could, I’d stay here all day, just like this, telling secrets and learning about the girl she tried so hard to hide.

  It was selfish of me, but fuck, when she gave me that little piece of her past, I swallowed it whole. Her tears, each one of them, I’d wanted to wipe away. I’d pushed her too far this morning. “I have to leave soon.” It was the last thing I’d wanted to do.

  “For work?” she asked, her tone anxious. The confidence and fire she had given us last night wavered. Last night, Gio let go, gave herself to me, to Bennett, fully, and it was spectacular to watch her fall. She fell from that perfect wire she tried to stay on, so keen to take it all, she owned us and it was nothing less than heaven. We’d never had a girl that could’ve handled all we’d done to her the first night like Gio had.

  Her hand snaked across my waist and her hot cheek pressed against my chest, her hair tickling under my chin. The tips of her fingers fell along my rib cage and I shivered.

  “Yes, I have a few things I need to do today, but I can stay a bit longer… if you want me too.” Selfish.

  “I’d like that. You know, you’re different than what I was expecting.”

  I chuckled and I felt her smile against my chest. “How so?”

  She sat up and smiled shyly as she pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts. I wanted to pull it back down, and if this was my bedroom, I would have. “You have this whole intense, dark, and dangerous thing going on. But, you’re actually really sweet.”

  “You haven’t seen dark and dangerous, yet.” My tone was low, the threat lingered in the air and she bit the side of her cheek.

  “I’d like to.”

  “Be careful, Gio.” I wasn’t trying to scare her. The light in her eyes sparked with desire. She challenged herself in everything she did, why wouldn’t she in the bedroom.

  “I trust you.” She looked down on me with bright brown irises, the honesty in her gaze penetrated through me. “Both of you.”

  I brought my hand to her face. “Trust is all that matters, Gio. But you need to trust yourself, too.”

  “I do.” She leaned down and kissed me once on the mouth and pulled away from my touch. She watched me for a moment, her fingertips tracing along the ink on my right inner bicep. “What does this mean?”

  “Amore tenere nessuna legge, senza rompere i limiti.”

  Gio’s lips parted. “You make the words sound so beautiful.”

  “It basically means, love holds no law, without breaking limits.” My hand pulled at the sheet that was covering her body. I shouldn’t have done it, but the fine threads of restraint I was holding onto were starting to fray.

  She shuddered as my fingers brushed against her skin. I wanted to break all of her limits, know every detail of who she was no matter the cost. I shouldn’t want these things, but the way she looked right now, her hair full and pouring over her shoulders, it called to me. Her skin was too soft, her cheeks too full of color as my eyes admired her naked form.

  I wanted someone just for me, but the way Bennett and I had been, it had made it difficult to ever have a real relationship, and I had no idea how to navigate one. Clara had been the first girl I’d ever cared for, and it had fucked me over when she broke my trust. Gio had future
written all over her, but it wasn’t my future she belonged to. It was his.

  She laid down next to me again, her cheek back against my skin where it belonged. “I like that…” She yawned and I grinned. “It’s perfect, actually.” Her voice was full of sleep.

  I trailed long lines down her spine with the pad of my thumb. “Get some rest. Bennett will be here when you wake up.”

  “Will you come over tonight, too?”

  Bennett had mentioned she had a few days off work, but the look he gave me when I carried her to the shower last night made it clear he was struggling with his feelings. I didn’t want to be a confusion for them, but at the same time, after last night, I couldn’t just walk away.

  “Would you like me to?” It wasn’t up to her, Bennett made the rules when it came to her. But, I was interested in her choice.

  She yawned again, this time it was longer and I pulled her closer. “I would.”

  My smile was wider than it should be, but I didn’t worry because she couldn’t see it. My small victory was just for me. “I’ll be here then.”

  Her breathing was shallow and when I looked down, her eyes were closed. She was asleep. I let my lids fall shut as well. I’d let myself have this quiet sanctuary with her. Because it was only a matter of time before Bennett finally admitted to himself that he had real feelings… the kind of feelings that held no limits… the kind of feelings that didn’t have room for three.

  “You’re fucking joking, right Charlie? Come on, there’s no goddamn way we can be ready that fast. I thought we had till January?” I scrubbed my palm down my face.

  “Sanchez needs to move the goods sooner, no fucking joke. You figure out how to get the pallets ready sooner Bennie, or I swear to God… my father will lose his shit and I’m not thinking that looks too good for you. Don’t want to end up like your parents.”

  “Fuck you, Charlie.” My jaw clamped so tightly my molars ached.

  Charlie grabbed my collar. “You listen to—”

  I gripped his wrist in mine and twisted his arm. He grimaced. “Don’t ever talk about my parents. Don’t even mention their fucking names.” The warning went on deaf ears as he ripped himself from my grip.

  He pulled the gun he always carried from its holster and pointed it at me. I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. Charlie was a coward; he didn’t have the balls. I took two deliberate steps forward.

  “You get those fucking pallets ready, Bennett. I got fifteen guys willing to do the work, and we need sixty pallets by the end of November, or so help me God, this bullet has your name on it.” He lowered his weapon and I nodded.

  “I’ll make it so your men will have access to the warehouse from midnight till six. I’ll make sure the fake stock is there.” I locked my eyes on his. “What’s the rush?”

  “The shipment is big, Bennett, millions of dollars are at stake. Sanchez has three trusted shippers, and you’re one of them. We move what he sends and we’re good. Then you can retire a rich motherfucker, get some real pussy for once. Eat it up, Bennie. You’re almost out.” He slapped me on the shoulder and the tension in my jaw eased. I was almost out.

  “Let’s get it done, then.” My lips spread into a fake smile.

  “November twenty-seventh, Monterosso’s Special Reserve ships. No delay, right? Do whatever you need to do to get those crates on my pallets and shipped to L.A. and we’re solid.” He placed his gun back in its holster and walked to my office door.

  “I’ll call Frank and give him the details once I’ve cooked the books. I’ve got this Charlie. You fucked my timeline, but I can manage.” This was going to be a shit show.

  “You better fucking manage, or like I said—”

  “Yeah, message received.”

  “Good.” He turned and opened the office door, slamming it behind him.

  “Fuck!” I growled and punched the wall. The sheet rock tore at my knuckles. The pain was welcomed. I looked around my office. Everything in its place, from the large, expensive desk and the modern style couch to the art on the walls. I was a fucking fraud and I hated myself.

  I moved quickly to my desk and hit the intercom button. “Christy, bring me the Monterosso Special Reserve files.”

  “Yes, sir.” Her voice muffled through the speaker.

  I paced the room, and with each step, each pass on my overly expensive carpet, the angrier I got. I was disgusted at myself. How could I ever be the man they wanted me to be? My parents would be rolling in their graves. My phone vibrated in my pocket distracting me from my digression. Once it was free from my pocket I opened the lock screen.

  Gage: She’s asleep. I’m headed home.

  Fuck. I’d almost forgotten she was still at my place. This entire morning had turned into a disaster.

  Me: Thanks. I’ll be leaving soon.

  The idea of her in my bed was the only thing that could calm my anger. I thumbed through my contacts until I found her number.

  Me: I’ll be home in forty-five minutes.

  I didn’t expect a reply back, so when my phone vibrated again I knew it would be Gage.

  Gage: What’s the plan for tonight? Am I invited?

  I ran my free hand through my hair. After the morning I had, all I wanted was to go home, fuck Selene, and go to sleep. Everything in my life was spiraling, and Selene was the only constant I wanted to hold onto. Gage being in the mix confused me. Last night was the best night I’d ever had with him. She was made for us, but no matter how hard I tried, that hollow feeling in my gut stirred the monster, and every time he made her moan, I wanted to make her moan louder, shake longer, come harder. It wasn’t a competition, but these feelings that were burning through me, turning my logic into ashes, well… I wasn’t sure what to do with them.

  I stared at my phone, my mind running through a giant loop. Selene and Gage should be the last concern I had right now. I had sixty fucking pallets to doctor, but as I closed my eyes, the images of last night flashed and I grew hard. My impulses always won. She still had more to give and I needed Gage there to help me draw her out.

  Me: Be there at nine.

  It wasn’t normal to feel as alone as I did as I stood in my own bedroom staring at my naked form in the mirror. There were pale bruises scattered across my hips and my shoulders. Their fingerprints on my arms, the light pink around my ankles and wrists — they should all be warnings, signs that I had turned down a path that only led to a dark place — a certain kind of destruction that no one dared to speak of. But here I stood, missing it, missing them. I’d signed on completely: my heart, my body, and my mind. I’d worry about my soul later, because right now, as the cold air of my empty room stirred around me, all I wanted was to be wrapped up in Gage and in Bennett.

  Gage. I tried not to let the butterflies roil in my stomach when I thought about how sweet he was with me this morning. I tried to abate the warmth between my legs when I thought about how he watched me with keen eyes last night as I climaxed; his jaw tight, like he was fighting the urge to tear me apart. The contradiction of Gage intrigued me. I hadn’t the faintest idea of who he was or what he did for a living, yet, I trusted him with my body completely. He was a man who looked at you with eyes that devoured and then fucked you as if he were consuming every last piece of you. He restrained you until you almost crumbled, but then cradled you, soothed you, and took you back down with tender, gentle kisses.

  After Gage left this morning, I woke up to an empty bed and struggled to fall back asleep. My mind raced with all that had happened over the past twenty-four hours. I was falling for not one, but two men. Bennett came home just a little after noon. His eyes were dark, and it was almost as if he was warding off his temper. I didn’t give pause when he had stripped himself down and crawled over my body. Instead, I offered him what he needed. He’d been rough with me. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but it was the most out of control I’d seen him, and a part of me wondered if Gage had something to do with it. Bennett had told me that in these types of relationships jea
lousy wasn’t an option, and I wanted to believe him.

  The familiar sound of my audition piece played from my laptop speakers in crisp notes, breaking me from my reverie. Darren had texted me earlier and told me he emailed my recording to Par Amour, along with the submission letter I’d sent to him. He sent a copy to my email as well, and as I got dressed, I listened to every dip and every curve of my bow, imagining I was playing, and the thought made me high. These past few weeks were a spiral of emotions. My music, my life, these men. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to surface without holding on tight to something real. This audition, my hopes for the future… these were the only things I had left that hadn’t changed, my only safe haven for when this thing, this relationship ended. Because it had to, no matter how much I wanted them, inevitably the hammer would drop.

  The front door slammed shut, and I heard the loud clang of Renee’s keys on the kitchen counter. “G, you home?” Renee barged into my room like she always did just as I slipped on my long sleeved black sweater dress. “You’re gonna freeze in that.” She plopped onto my bed; her blonde hair was down today in soft waves and her make-up perfect. “This is beautiful, Gio, is this you?” She pointed to the laptop and I smiled.

  “Yes. Darren sent it to Par Amour today.” I rummaged through my dresser for my thigh highs as I spoke.

  “He didn’t,” she said with a slight squeal in her tone. “Shit, Goose, you’re going to move to L.A., and I’m going to be here in this apartment all by my onesies. Not fair.” The giant smile on her face was an opposition to her tone.