Dead Men

by Derek Haines

  Tony looked at Ed with his eyes almost closed. His anger held back with great difficulty.

  ‘Ed. She has sex with the fucking gardener, and I get to lose everything because of it. Tell me this’s not happening. What did I do to deserve having my life’s work destroyed? Tell me that.’

  ‘Tony, I know you’re upset by this. But this is the way things are. I know you’re aggrieved by what she’s done, but under the law there is no fault or blame. It is just the end of your marriage, and this is the way it’s resolved,’ Ed explained as coolly as he could.

  Tony sat again in silence.

  ‘I’ll start things rolling Tony. There isn’t a lot you can do at the moment. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?’

  ‘Yeah. How long would I get for murder?’

  ‘That’s not funny Tony. Let it go. Try to look at this as a commercial transaction. Don’t let your emotions rule your judgement.’

  ‘That’s easy for you to say.’

  ‘Yes. Yes I know it is Tony.’

  Tony left and drove back to his office. He didn’t say a word to anyone. Just went to his office, and closed the door. He picked up the framed photograph of his wife and family, and smashed it against the wall. All he could think of was his wife and the gardener laughing at him while they enjoyed the fruits of his labour and fucked in his bed. He had a mental picture of them as a pair of vultures picking at the bones of his corpse. The desire to punish her rose yet again in his mind.

  He returned to the flat that evening to find David asleep on the sofa.

  ‘Nothin’ to do huh Dave?’

  ‘You’re pitifully correct Tony. I have nothing to do. Except wait. I’m waiting for my house to sell. Waiting for my wife to resign from my company so I can sign a cheque. Waiting for stupid little pieces of paper to move between solicitors, courts, and accountants. Just sitting around waiting. Waiting for this fucking nightmare to end.’

  ‘Is that what I have to look forward to then?’

  ‘Unless you have any better ideas?’

  ‘Nope. I don’t. Looks like I join the waiting game huh?’ Tony said dejectedly as he joined David on the sofa.

  ‘Have you heard from Steve at all? How’s his little battle going?’

  ‘Just like us. Waiting. He told me he’d done all he could and he’s waiting for the court order to arrive.’

  ‘Well, he’s got one advantage over us Tony. At least he has a woman. We seemed to’ve misplaced ours,’ David said with a wry smile.

  ‘Yes Dave, they’re definitely lost.’

  In his thoughts, David felt the familiar urge he’d experienced all his life. The need to run away. But now it was a question of what to run away from. And even more importantly, where to? It seemed an irony to him, that now it was more a case of the world having had run away from him. There was a pointlessness to running away now. Maybe there always was.

  Washed Up

  One hundred and fifty dollars a week. Steve had his court order. He would have to pay it until his daughter turned eighteen, and it would continue if she stayed at school or university. His application for access was granted. He just had to get to Perth every second weekend if he wanted to exercise it. His other two cases were still in progress. Nothing resolved. The only proof of their existence was in the legal bills he received every month or so. He was now in debt. Deeply in debt. His work was suffering from the worry and strain.

  In the time since the judgement was handed down, Steve felt his new life gradually fading. Such a small amount of money to some. But to Steve and Beth, it was a heavy burden. His credit card was at its limit. He could feel the walls closing in on his happy existence. The simple pleasures that he and Beth had shared in their previous times of worry had evaporated. Their ability to find the total abandonment that they shared so lovingly had gone. Neither had tried for weeks. They’d both thought that simple love and commitment and sharing were enough to hold a relationship together. Beth knew the situation couldn’t go on much longer. Although she loved Steven, she had her children to consider.

  ‘Hi kids. How was your day?’ Steve said as usual as he arrived home from work to the smiles of the children. He was inundated with the usual paintings, stories and test results. All normal. His welcome home kiss from Beth wasn’t. It was cold. He changed and came into the kitchen where Beth was preparing dinner.

  ‘What’s wrong Beth?’ he asked.

  Tears started to fall down her cheek.

  ‘Oh Steven. This can’t go on.’

  ‘What can’t go on?’ he asked again. Knowing that this would be a difficult talk about money.

  ‘We are a week behind in the rent Steve. There are bills stacking up,’ she started to sob, and Steve moved to her to console her.

  ‘No. Don’t Steve. Just hear me out. Please.’

  Steve sat back down at the breakfast bar. Not really knowing what was in Beth’s mind.

  ‘Steve. I know you’ve tried the very best you can, but we have to face reality. We’re going broke. With all your legal bills and the maintenance payments, we can’t exist.’

  Steve didn’t say a word. He knew what was coming next. He just looked at the floor. He couldn’t look at his Beth.

  ‘Steve. I have to go back on the single mother’s pension. Find a cheaper place to live. Get myself and the kids settled. You know there’s no other choice. You just can’t support all of us Steve. I know you’ve tried your best.’ The tears streaming down her face, but she held herself together enough to deliver her message clearly.

  Silently, Steve rose from the stool, and walked to the bedroom. He laid down on the bed and studied the ceiling. He held back his anger. He didn’t know who or what he was angry at. Beth, his daughter’s mother, the two greedy cows who had wasted his time and money. Himself? He thought about his anger for a while. Maybe it was himself he was angry at. Could he honestly say that none of this was his fault? As his calm returned somewhat, he had a shower. He then packed a suitcase of clothes and a few small possessions. As he walked to the front door, Beth saw him from the kitchen. She called to him. ‘Steve. Steve. Wait!’

  She caught him by the arm as he was opening the front door. She didn’t want to lose her Steven. Just for him to move out so she could claim single mother’s allowance. She hadn’t explained that to him yet.

  ‘Wait Steve. Come back inside. Have dinner. Let’s talk this over huh?’ she pleaded. ‘Let’s talk about this. See if we can find a way around it. We always work things out.’

  ‘Goodbye Beth,’ was all Steve could say as he walked to his car. His pride shattered. Beth was sobbing at the front door. He didn’t look back as he drove off.

  ‘What a waste of time,’ was all he could think.

  David and Tony had settled into their single lives badly. Both drinking heavily. Their shared bitterness was not a healthy way to exist. They both simply existed from day to day in their small flat. Triple T had been closed by the bank. Tony’s house was up for sale. His wife and children lived in it, and he had the distinct impression she was in no hurry to sell, and making no efforts to assist the real estate agent. He had a few calls from the agent to say that appointments to view had been disrupted by her behaviour. He was living on a small amount of money he had in a ‘quiet’ account. He knew it wouldn’t last long though. Once the house was sold, and the debts of the company paid, he would be left with very little anyway. He was caring less and less each day about the outcome. His anger had subsided and was replaced with apathy. Even though he’d been a hard worker all his life, his pride now stood in the way of him returning to being just a truck driver. And even if he did, a large proportion of what he’d earn would be paid in child support. He didn’t see any way he could win. There was little point trying. He missed his family, his children. He’d been back to the house twice to see them. On both occasions he left within an hour. He felt the tension rising and didn’t want to lose control in front of the children. He was disturbed also, because they hadn’t asked why he wasn’
t living there. Maybe he had lived his life at work.

  David’s situation was not dissimilar. The coast property was still for sale. The settlement with his wife over the funds in the company had been settled. He had control over the company and what was left of the cash in it, but until the property sold he didn’t have enough to fund his business activities of buying and selling large consignments of plumbing supplies. If he was truly honest with himself, it didn’t matter about having enough capital to run his business. He had no motivation to do so. It was a convenient excuse to hang his hat on to his friends and family as to why he wasn’t working. He’d just given up. He shared the same feelings of apathy with Tony. Both were broken men. No better than dead men. Both could see no further than tomorrow morning. Neither really wanted to see any further than that anyway. They were both too busy with their minds in the past to want to consider a future.

  Steve’s knock at the door broke their boredom as they watched Sale of the Century on television. Tony went to the door. Opened it and saw Steve with suitcase in hand.

  ‘Oh shit Steve. What’s happened?’

  ‘Can I borrow a sofa?’ I seem to be homeless tonight,’ Steve said in an effort at jest. It didn’t produce even a smile from David or Tony. It did produce sympathy from them when he told them what’d happened. They sat in silence as Tony filled in a little of his background in Perth and the reason he’d come to Sydney.

  ‘Looks like life isn’t easy for an ex con,’ Steve shrugged.

  ‘This has nothing to do with you having been in prison Steve. This’s about someone making a money grab,’ Tony started. Not really knowing what to say. ‘You’ve done very well since you came to Sydney.’

  ‘Yes you have,’ David said. ‘Just hang in there. I’m sure it’s not so bad. Maybe Beth’s right. And it’d take some pressure off you. Just because you don’t live there doesn’t mean you can’t keep your relationship with Beth.’

  Steve wasn’t listening. He was in Perth in his mind. Hating the woman who had started this. He was hating his sister for being so foolish. He was hating the world for not giving him a second chance. He was hating having to be responsible. To anyone.

  ‘C’mon Steve. It’s not all that bad. You’re welcome to the sofa. But tomorrow go and see what you can do. Talk to Beth. You two’ll work something out,’ David tried to reassure Steve, but could see he was having little effect.

  ‘We were just going to order some Chinese food. Want some Steve?’ Tony asked.

  ‘What ever is fine with me,’ Steve replied.

  ‘Life was easier in jail,’ Steve blurted out, shocking his two friends.

  ‘For fuck sake Steve. What are you on about?’ Tony almost shouted.

  ‘Well it was easier. No decisions to make. Always fed. As long as you didn’t make trouble things were fine,’ Steve answered.

  ‘Christ Steve. Don’t go there. You’re scaring the fuck out of me,’ David said. ‘Things aren’t that bad. You just need to cool down and things’ll look better in the morning.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ was Steve’s short reply.

  ‘Maybe the Drover’s Dog would be better than moping around here with take away,’ Tony said trying to pick up Steve’s spirits.

  ‘Great idea Tony,’ David joined in. ‘What about it Steve?’

  ‘I’m not all that……’ Steve started.

  ‘No. None of that,’ Tony said. ‘Let’s go. We need some company other than us three morons. C’mon Steve. It’ll do you good. And us as well.’

  Within a half an hour of arriving at the Drover’s Dog, Steve had himself entertained with four women out for the evening celebrating a birthday. Tony and David watched from their vantage point at the bar, as Steve had his audience laughing and giggling at a table about twenty feet away.

  ‘I think we did the right thing bringing him here,’ Tony said to David.

  ‘Well, at least he’s got a smile on his face. That’s an improvement,’ David laughed.

  Steve rose from the table and walked over to Tony and Steve. ‘Come on over and meet these ladies,’ Steve said to them. ‘They look like they could be fun.’

  They both followed Steve back and Steve made the introductions, as Tony grabbed two more chairs. Amongst the idle chatter and banter both men couldn’t believe the difference in Steve. The quiet, reserved and good mannered Steve was teasing these women with suggestive and lurid comments and jokes. The women seemed to be lapping it up. Tony was even a little embarrassed as Steve tossed peanuts at one woman’s cleavage. She giggled as she had to retrieve his successful attempts. David tried to join in the conversation as best he could, but for him and Tony this was very new territory. They hadn’t been in this situation in many years.

  The evening rolled on towards closing time. Steve felt his old feelings towards women returning. He’d challenged himself to having two of these sluts for the night. He thought one each for David and Tony would suit them fine. As closing time approached Steve made his less than subtle move.

  ‘Why don’t we get some wine and beer before closing, and carry on the party. It’s way to early yet,’ Steve said to the group.

  ‘Fine with me,’ the woman with the peanut salted cleavage said.

  Steve knew he had this one on a string.

  ‘Ok, where shall we go?’ another asked.

  ‘Well, our place is pretty small,’ Tony said apologetically.

  ‘That’s ok,’ Steve said. ‘We don’t want to get too far away from these lovely ladies now do we?’

  ‘Let’s go then,’ announced the woman who had already pencilled Steven into finding out more about where the peanuts had gone.

  They all rose and David and Tony went to the bottle shop to get some supplies for the rest of the evening. As it wasn’t far to their flat they all decided to walk. With the effects of an evening of alcohol in their bellies, Tony and David started to relax and join in the fun. Forgetting their woes for the first time in ages. David looked at Tony and wasn’t surprised to see a little devil in his eyes. They each now had a woman by their sides, and could see that Steve had already made his selections. Steve felt in control. Just like old times, with his two new mates collecting the benefit of his uncanny ability to attract women.

  Within a short time Steven was running the event. He was letting his anger out on women in his own way. He wanted to humiliate them. Toy with them. Control them. It was his entertainment and revenge. Tony and David went along for the ride. Neither having had such a fun evening in many years. Steve sipped his beer, then took the zipper on the dress of one of the women and slowly unzipped her dress. She didn’t resist. When he reached the end he just smiled, looked at her and said, ‘You can do the rest yourself.’

  ‘Right here?’ she asked. ‘In front of everyone?’

  ‘Yep,’ said Steve smiling. ‘We’re all waiting.’

  As she slipped her dress off over her head her three girlfriends cheered her on.

  ‘Off! Off! Off!’ they chanted.

  David and Tony were enjoying the entertainment enormously. The woman next to David ran her hands over his groin and whispered in his ear. ‘Will you be harder when it’s my turn?’

  David didn’t know what to say so he tried to summon up all his confidence and bravado and said, ‘You bet I will.’

  One after the other each woman bared herself. As the third one started the first one was already occupied giving Steve a head job. Steve was back to his old self. He winked at David and Tony and just said, ‘Havin’ a nice time boys?’

  The next morning the flat was littered with empty cans, clothes, bodies and a mixture of stale beer and sex lingering in the air. David woke first and climbed over two bodies asleep in his bed. He made his way to the bathroom and decided to ignore the woman asleep in the bathtub as he took a piss. He showered and dressed. He didn’t feel at all well. This was going to be one hell of a hangover he thought to himself. Clearing up a little of the debris as he made himself a coffee, he recalled the previous night. He had enjoy
ed himself thoroughly. He had never had sex with two women in one night before. And four naked women parading around the flat was far more entertaining than watching TV with Tony. They weren’t stunningly attractive. But what the hell, it was fun. The air in the flat was too much for David. He opened the few windows there were, then went out for a walk. Some fresh air would be delightful. The sight of the remaining bodies coming to life was something he thought preferable to miss. That would ruin his memory of the evening.

  Tony and Steve were left with the pleasure of making coffee for four hung over women. All were moaning. Tony wondered how they could’ve been so much fun the night before. They all looked so ugly this morning. It took two hours for them to have themselves a shower and then find their clothes that had been spread throughout the entire flat. It was a relief when the last one had left. Steve promised them all he would meet them at the Drover’s Dog on Saturday night. Tony wasn’t so sure he’d be there. He’d enjoyed the night, but didn’t enjoy cleaning up the mess they’d left. David returned from his walk just in time to congratulate his two mates on what a wonderful job they had done in cleaning the flat.

  ‘Oh you two are such wonderful maids,’ David chuckled.

  It was eleven thirty. For David and Tony, time didn’t matter. But it should have done for Steven.

  ‘Are you taking the day off Steve?’ David asked.

  ‘I’ll go there after lunch. I’m still a bit pooped from last night,’ he said with a smile.

  Steve arrived at his office at a little after one o’clock. He walked straight into his boss's office.

  ‘I’m quitting,’ he said matter of factly.

  ‘You can’t be serious,’ his boss responded.

  ‘I’m very serious. I’ve had enough.’

  ‘C’mon Steve. I know you’ve had a bit of a rough trot at…’

  ‘I’m leaving. And that’s it,’ Steve barked as he walked from his boss's office.

  He walked into his own small office, collected his few personal items and headed for the door.

  His boss called out to him. ‘Steve. Come back here. Don’t be stupid!’