Xander

by Dana Archer

“Kids. Do you want to try for one? Not now, but someday. If you don’t, I will select another male from the pack to act as the next-in-line alpha. It’ll be unconventional, but I don’t care.”

  “Yes. I want kids someday.” Gwen smiled. “I have a lunch date with Riley Kagan scheduled for next week. I’d already planned on asking her details about her pregnancy and the shifter babies she’s carrying. I can’t imagine it would be any different for us, though I suspect it might take longer. From talking to Dante, I gather conception rates are much lower for Royals than singles.”

  Xander snorted. Here he’d been worrying about Gwen forgiving him for the past, and she’d already been planning their future. No matter. He’d needed to come to the conclusion he had, accepting that Gwen wasn’t the only one who’d had to grow. So had he. And Vlad.

  “All right, then.” He stepped forward, urging her to match him. “Let’s do this. We have eternity ahead of us and it starts tonight.”

  Chapter 38

  Eyes pinched, Gwen pressed her balled fist against her chest, but the pressure didn’t ease the ache. If they hadn’t been so far from civilization, she likely would’ve asked to go to a hospital. Except she didn’t know how to describe her pain. She felt fairly certain she wasn’t having a heart attack or a stroke, but she didn’t know what else could be wrong with her. The hollow feeling was unlike any she’d ever experienced before.

  Vlad turned sideways in the driver’s seat of the SUV they’d driven to reach this remote area. He grasped her wrist and kissed her clenched fingers before drawing her closer. “Are you missing your mate?”

  His question brought a frown to her lips. She licked them and picked apart his words to decipher their meaning. Besides the achiness dominating her chest, a haze had slipped over her mind, making it impossible to focus. “You’re right here.”

  Vlad chuckled. “Xander. Are you missing him?”

  Her other mate. Of course. She scrubbed a hand over her face. She was missing him. And worrying about him. “I don’t like to be separated from him. I can’t feel him.”

  Which was, in itself, a change. A couple of days ago, she hadn’t felt his emotions or Vlad’s, but the loving they’d shared last night in the ceremonial circle changed things. She…sensed them. Or shared their emotions, to be more precise. It was why she’d abandoned Vlad in the kitchen to find Xander this morning. His anxiety had made her anxious.

  “Ah…” Vlad nodded. “It’s the price of being mated. You’ll always feel this way when you’re apart from us.” He slid his hand to her mate mark and covered the bite. Warmth slipped through her, easing the ache some. “But after we soul-bond tonight, you’ll be able to reach out and connect with us. The separation won’t feel as significant then.”

  She wanted to question why she hadn’t experienced this before. She’d spent a lot of time away from Xander since he’d given her a piece of his soul, but in the end, it didn’t matter.

  “Makes sense.” She took a deep breath. Vlad’s familiar and comforting scent slipped through her, reminding her she wasn’t entirely alone. She’d been blessed with two mates who viewed her as their queen, even while they treated her as their naughty whore.

  She smiled. Who would’ve thought she’d like that word? Whore had always implied something nasty to her, but in Xander’s and Vlad’s hands, it made her feel sexy, desired, and wicked. It also gave her an excuse to embrace all the naughtiness she’d been raised to view as sinful. She needed the justification to let go of her strict upbringing, but of course, her mates would know that, even if they didn’t understand the reason why.

  “Xander had said to text him if you need him.”

  “He’d expected this?”

  “Yes. We both did.” Proving her earlier thought correct.

  Happiness spread through her, erasing the last of the anxiety tightening her chest. Her mates truly were perfect for her. They anticipated her needs—sexually, physically, and emotionally—and sought to meet them when she required their support. They wouldn’t suffocate her with their idea of help if she didn’t.

  That was what Xander had been trying to explain when he’d talked about helping her grow. He’d wanted her to uncover her own strengths. And she had.

  She grabbed the tote at her feet and opened the passenger door. “Come on. I’m dying to see Molly.”

  With her bag hooked over her shoulder, Gwen faced the home where Molly had been relocated in order to hide from discovery, either by the Shifter Council, Shifter Affairs, or any human who might stumble upon her. Unlike the wolf packs—Winchester, Jager, and Kagan—the Alexander pride, who’d been caring for Molly, lived smack dab in the middle of a human town.

  The risk of discovery had been very real. Lena had explained this to Gwen over the phone when she’d called to arrange this visit. Gwen understood their reasoning, even trusted in the Alexander pride to choose the safest place for Molly, but her first view of Molly’s home left Gwen trembling in anger.

  About the size of the cabin where she’d been shot, Molly’s house, if Gwen could even call it that, would never fit two adult males and a little girl. Even if they did fit, they wouldn’t be shielded from the weather. The windows had been either knocked out or left as jagged slabs in their window frames. A door hung by one hinge, and part of the roof had collapsed.

  Fisting her hands, Gwen took a step forward. “This…this place is where my sister has been living?” Adopted or not, Molly would forever be Gwen’s little sister.

  Vlad settled his hands on her shoulders. “No, not exactly. She’s been living in the woods with her protectors.”

  Gwen spun. “Living in the woods?! Molly is—”

  “In her lioness’s form. She refuses to shift, and until she does, the cold and rain or snow won’t bother her.” Vlad sighed, frustration straining the sound. “I hate this as much as you do, but she’s more comfortable here. Happier too.”

  She glared at her mate. “Maybe she’s a little too comfortable. She’s a child first and a lioness second. She doesn’t need to be coddled.”

  “That’s what Kade, the leader of my pride, thinks too.”

  Gwen pivoted to face the man who’d spoken. Devin, Lena’s mate, stood next to the run-down cabin. A huge striped orange-and-black tiger lay in the weeds beside him.

  Swallowing hard, she locked her knees before she gave in to the urge to hide behind Vlad. The shifter, in his tiger form, eyeing her suspiciously, was a friend. Sort of…by association.

  “Are you one of Kade’s cousins?” She focused her attention on the tiger. Discussing what Kade or Devin or even Vlad thought about Molly’s refusal to shift would get her nowhere. They weren’t the ones who’d been caring for Molly twenty-four/seven for the past four months.

  “Ezra doesn’t talk to humans, but yes, he’s been watching over Molly.”

  “Doesn’t talk to humans.” Gwen clenched her jaw. This got better and better. “And how is he going to convince Molly to shift if he doesn’t talk to humans?”

  “His twin, Uri, does. He reads every letter our pride members send to her.”

  “Molly can read them herself.” Gwen strode forward and faced Devin. “She can also write back. In cursive. Perfect cursive. With perfect grammar.”

  Devin dipped his head, never breaking their gaze. “So Lena has said, but Molly can’t hold a pen in her lioness form.”

  Exactly! Didn’t they understand that? She whipped around to look at the tiger, who hadn’t moved from his spot. Her hair obscured his wide face and haunting yellow eyes. She shoved the strands of hair out of her face. “Where’s my sister?”

  “Which one?” Devin asked.

  Glaring at Ezra in his tiger form, she answered, “Molly.”

  Without responding, Ezra pushed to his feet and trotted into the woods. She followed, jogging to keep up with the big cat. Vlad shadowed her. So did Devin, but Gwen’s gaze remained locked on the silent shifter who didn’t talk to humans.

  The clock above the cluttered Shifter Affair
s agent’s desk marked the time Xander had wasted. He shouldn’t have come here. His meeting with Brock was in less than an hour, but Gwen’s ultimatum from this morning demanded his attention too. Xander couldn’t allow his precious mate to be exposed to danger, even after they soul-bonded tonight. He loved her too much. She would not even suffer a hangnail if he could prevent it.

  The office door opened, and the smell of a heavily feline scent-marked human swept in.

  “I gave what little information I have to Dante and Gwen already.” The female agent dropped the manila folder on his lap. “Didn’t they relay it?”

  He looked from the paper sticking haphazardly from the edges of the worn folder to the woman who’d spoken. He’d heard about Ella Montgomery from Devin, but every comment made about the female Devin’s pride member Zach had reluctantly claimed as his beloved human had been superficial.

  Xander knew Ella had been rescued from a human hunt, similar to the one Gwen had been forced to participate in. He also knew Ella had been given a position at the closest Shifter Affairs office to Zach, even though she wasn’t qualified to act as an agent, because of Zach’s demands. What Xander hadn’t known was that Ella had been tagged.

  As meat.

  Claw marks scarred her legs, stretching from the black pumps on her feet and disappearing under her knee-length skirt. Similar scars raked her arms, from her wrists to her elbows. If her abusers followed tradition, the scars would reach her groin and her shoulders.

  Going by the jagged edges to the marks, she’d been tagged several times before Zach had sealed the wounds, healing them and permanently adding his scent to her body.

  The reason for Zach’s refusal to go near his beloved human became clear, at least to Xander. Zach hadn’t gotten to this woman in time to save her from the pain she’d experienced from the maiming of her limbs or likely, the violations to her body.

  Females marked as meat were deemed expendable in the human hunts the depraved of shifter society enjoyed. The hunters in those games could do anything they wanted to the tagged humans, and if they died in the process, no replacement fee had to be paid to the shifters running the hunt. The fact that Ella appeared to have been tagged more than once amazed Xander. By bleeding the victims, they’d be easier for shifters to track, yet Ella had avoided death multiple times.

  Sympathy and respect for this human who bravely put her maiming on display for all to see surged. Xander met Ella’s pale blue eyes as he would any dominant.

  “Yes, but I do not allow my mate into any situation where she might get hurt without ensuring every precaution has been taken and every possible threat eliminated.” Which was probably why Zach had insisted Ella be placed in this position. Here, in this high-security building, she was safe.

  The knowledge likely gave him some measure of comfort. If Xander had been in the Royal feline’s position, however, it wouldn’t be enough. There was no guarantee she’d remain safe once she went home.

  Ella’s brows raised. “You mated a human?”

  “Is that not what I said?”

  “No… Yes… I didn’t mean it like that.” Ella’s cheeks turned a healthy shade of pink. “It’s just that when I asked Gwen about the Winchesters’ alpha, she didn’t mention it.”

  “My top dominant and I both mated her but didn’t officially prove our three-way bond to our pack until last night.”

  “Prove?” Ella’s eyes widened, and the pink shading her cheeks darkened. “Oh… Prove. I see.”

  Xander fought a smile. “I’m glad, then you can write a memo about my mating or whatever it is Shifter Affairs does to record such changes among alpha leaders. It saves me another trip to do so officially.”

  Ella chewed on a fingernail before nodding. “Sure. A memo. I’ll get right on that.”

  Hadn’t she learned the procedures of her new position yet? She’d been an agent for over a year.

  Xander sat straighter. This was the woman who’d be planning Elias’s retrieval and possibly arranging for Gwen’s protection. “How did you get information of the fight my younger brother, Elias, would be participating in? And what makes you think you’ll actually be able to free him?”

  Ella’s features hardened. Breathing harshly, she squared her shoulders and walked stiffly to her desk chair. Seated, she leaned forward, elbows propped on the leather blotter and a ticked-off glare on her face. “These fights have become my specialty. I successfully arranged the retrieval of Owen Lyons, a member of the Jager pack, along with dozens of others since then. My sources are loyal, and my information is tight. Trust me when I say I will make sure Eli is rescued.

  “As far as Gwen participating”—Ella loosely linked her fingers and arched her back slightly as she hunched forward—“I never agreed to that. Your mate demanded it. I ignored her. Maybe she thought my silence equaled agreement, but in reality, only highly trained task force members will be involved in Eli’s rescue. I haven’t worked this hard to develop the relationships with the depraved and demented of your kind to ruin it because civilians want to be involved in my assignments.”

  Ella exhaled slowly and looked down at her linked hands. “Don’t take that the wrong way. Gwen is smart, brave, and cunning. I sensed that the moment I met her, but she’s too involved in this case. The moment emotions come into play, stakes are raised. People react on their feelings, not on the situation and what’s necessary for success. I did so once, and it was the worst mistake of my life.”

  The sense of respect grew. Ella reminded him of Gwen, deceptively strong and immensely protective. Her ability to survive unspeakable ordeals at the hands of shifters who viewed humans as their playthings didn’t seem as far-fetched in light of this aspect of Ella’s personality.

  “What mistake was that?”

  Ella pushed from her seat and snatched the suit jacket draped over the back of her chair. She slipped into it, hiding the scars on her arms, and moved to a table on the far side of the office where a coffeemaker sat.

  She flipped over a disposable cup and dumped powdered creamer into it. “Would you like coffee? Cookies? I made chocolate chip ones yesterday for an office party. There’s still some left.”

  Obviously a sore subject. Regret landed heavy in his gut. Xander shouldn’t have expected less. He couldn’t blame her for her reaction either. Even Devin, who’d been violated many times during his confinement in the shifter prison, didn’t openly discuss his abuse. It often triggered his rage, and for a potentially feral shifter, allowing such dark fury to take hold never turned out well.

  “Coffee’s good, thank you.” Xander joined Ella at the table, waited until she prepared both cups, then carried them to her desk. “I must apologize for my question. I have no right to ask for such personal information.”

  Ella flicked the wooden stirrer back and forth before tapping it on the side of the cup and laying the stick on a coffee-stained napkin. “Don’t apologize. It’s just that I’ve reached that angry phase of my recovery, and I don’t want to take it out on you. I have a slight hatred for men at the moment.”

  “Understandable, considering what you’ve endured.”

  “You have no idea what I’ve endured.” Ella’s voice tightened with annoyance.

  “I can guess.” Xander took a sip of his too-strong coffee and debated his next steps. The socially acceptable response demanded he change the subject. Ella’s masked rage wasn’t healthy, though, even if it was part of the healing process she spoke of. “You’ve been raped, tortured, probably starved and dehydrated, and maybe confined to complete darkness and utter silence in an attempt to break your mind.”

  Ella’s fingers tightened around the cup she held, deforming the sides and nearly spilling the coffee inside it. She stared at him for a long, breathless moment before exhaling slowly. She set the cup down. “Who told you? My file should be sealed.”

  “Nobody.”

  “Nobody?” Her eyes narrowed. “Then how do you know?”

  Xander glanced at her arms. Although the
jacket covered the scars, he wouldn’t easily forget them. Zach no doubt couldn’t either. Another reason he probably avoided his beloved human. Protective instincts would flare every time he did see her scars. Such strong emotions could become misunderstood after a time and mistaken for love. In reality, they were darker and more primitive.

  Beloved humans belonged to the shifter who claimed them in a very real way, at least in a shifter’s mind. Most shifters could ignore the twisted sense of ownership, except when those primal instincts were triggered.

  Quite simply, nobody hurt what belonged to them. And Ella? Ella had been hurt in the most visceral of ways.

  “You were tagged as meat. More than once. The crimes I mentioned are common for survivors to have suffered.” No way would he say victims. Such a label lessened her inner strength. Ella was a fighter. Much as Gwen was a warrior in her own right.

  Ella tugged at the sleeves of her jacket. “I usually wear long sleeves and dark tights, but I haven’t felt like doing so lately.”

  “And you shouldn’t have to do so unless you prefer that style of attire. You carry battle scars, not any sort of disfigurement or sign of shame. They show the world, especially shifters, that you are strong, a dominant, and should be treated as such.”

  Ella ran a hand over her forearm, then stood and took off her jacket, draping it over the back of her desk chair. “All but my true mate.”

  “Your true mate?”

  “He rescued me, told me I belonged to him, then promptly informed me he never wanted to see me again.”

  Zach. He was the male who’d saved her.

  Xander shook his head, a mix of sympathy and disgust settling over him. He tried not to judge people without knowing all the facts, but in this case, only one mattered. The goddess of Zach’s pride had dropped his true mate into his arms when Ella needed him most. Ignoring that gift, as Xander had done twice before, was foolish. “And you’re going to just sit back and let him treat you that way?”

  Ella frowned. “I’m certainly not about to beg him to mate me or some bullshit like that. I spent a few, very silent hours with the guy. He never told me his name, where he lived, or anything about himself.”