by A B Turner
“Alright you can stay, but at the first sign of you doing anything you shouldn’t, you’re out, quicker than a rat out of a trap, OK?”
Lainie beamed and tightly squeezed her arm , the hostess laughed, as she peeled off her hand,
“Alright, that’s enough, don’t crush the merchandise !”
She led the three of us to a small table and took our order, before sashaying away in the general direction of the bar, as we watched, the crowd seemed to part like the Red Sea, allowing her an unrestricted path.
Kat, Lainie and I took our seats and looked on, as our group took turns to vocally-assassinate various popular songs, after one particularly painful rendition of ‘I Will Survive’, I decided the clientele had probably suffered enough and urged them all to take their seats. The hostess nodded her appreciation as she made her way up to the stage and the show began, our group proved to be a wonderful audience, clapping every act wildly and singing along, whether it not they were invited.
After a finale led by a 6 foot tall Kylie Minogue, the show was over, the whole audience leapt to its feet as one an deafening standing ovation.
As the noise died down, I leant over to Kat,
“We have to go,” I whispered, she looked slightly dismayed.
“Aren’t we dancing ?” she asked.
“No, we have somewhere else to be,” I insisted.
With the help of the hostess, I managed to gain the attention of the group to announce we had to leave, but they were welcome to stay as there was more than enough money behind the bar to fuel the rest of their evening. On hearing this, another cheer went up and several of our number staggered to the small dance floor, I turned to leave, when two ladies hesitantly approached me,
“Carrie,can we have a word ? “ one asked.
“Of course,”I replied, “What’s the problem?”
They both glanced round furtively before pulling me closer,
“These women here, well, there’s something different about them,” began one, I heard Lainie attempt to stifle a giggle behind me,but I chose to try and ignore her as the ladies were clearly concerned,
“I don’t mean to be rude, dear, but you’ve got to admit, they’re really tall, and our waitress, well, her hands were like a pair of shovels really, lovely nails but......” her voice trailed off, clearly she was very uncomfortable by what she found herself saying, so I hesitated no longer,
“The ladies who work here are men,” I explained simply, the pair of them looked at each other and then sighed with relief,
“Oh thank goodness for that !” cried one, “I thought I had quite the wrong end of the stick for a moment.....”
“I told you, Dolly, no woman would have legs that long and shapely,” the other added wisely, “There’s not a varicose vein to be seen and I looked.”
They thanked me and returned to their table, the hostess who had clearly overheard this exchange smiled broadly,
“I’ve got just the place for those two on my mantlepiece either side of my Art Nouveau clock, they’d be perfect !” she laughed.
After thanking her again, Lainie and I led Kat out of the club, she was about to complain, when she saw the limousine waiting for us in the street,
“Is this ours?” she asked dubiously, hardly daring to wait for the answer, when Lainie and I nodded in unison, she gasped with delight.
Once inside, we rested back on the enormous soft leather seats, Lainie opened the champagne and the three of us clinked glasses,
“It’s not that late, so where are we going?” Kat asked.
“Wait and see,” Lainie answered, clearly relishing the whole evening as much as we were, I sipped my drink, quite grateful for the break. As Lainie probed Kat for more stories from our past, I took the time to reflect on just how lucky I was to have these two in my life, whatever other problems I had, just at that moment, nothing else seemed especially important – not Jay, or Daniel, or, in truth, even Vanessa. As I sat in that car, I realised, they were people who passed through my life, however, welcome, however deep their impact, I knew on some level, they would move on, but Kat and Lainie were different, they were going to be a part of my life forever and, at that moment, I loved them both more than perhaps I had ever done before.
When Kat stepped out of the car and saw the sheer splendour of the hotel, her face registered just the shocked expression I had hoped for when planning this final part of the experience. Lainie and I quickly followed her, as she gazed up at the imposing building, now lit by large spotlights, making it even more impressive than it had been in daylight. The chauffeur took our bags from the car and led us up the steps and into the hotel, after depositing them carefully, he tipped his cap to me,
“I will see you tomorrow, Madam.”
“Thank you, drive carefully, won’t you?” I replied, he smiled and left the three of us at the reception desk. Kat looked at me incredulously,
“Since when have you been all Downton Abbey?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing full well.
“All that bit with the chauffeur, very lady of the manor,” she smiled, “Anyone would think you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth !”
I was about to respond when Sophia appeared, she welcomed us warmly and asked a young man to escort us to our rooms, having quickly established we had already eaten. As we followed him along the carpeted hallway, I saw Lainie attempt to stifle a yawn, so when we reached the first of our three rooms, I suggested she might like to take it and get some sleep. She thanked me and after hugging both of us, she took her key and disappeared into the room, Kat and I had the next two,
“Freshen up and come and join me in mine,” Kat ordered, “And bring that champagne you’ve probably got stashed somewhere.”
I laughed, she clearly knew me , as there was indeed a bottle carefully hidden in my overnight bag, so I went into my room and watched her follow the young man to the adjoining door.
The room was larger than I had expected, with enormous windows overlooking the gardens below, I dumped my bag on the bed and wandered over to see the view. Although it was dark, the fountain was lit by several small spotlights, which gave it an almost magical appearance, as the water cascaded down. I felt almost relieved we were here, at last, I felt the evening had been a success and now, it was time to relax. After carefully unpacking, I took the champagne, padded down the hallway and tapped on Kat's door, hoping she felt the same way, after only moments in her company, it was clear she was genuinely thrilled. As she recapped the evening, her dark eyes flashed with delight at each the memory, we quickly opened the champagne and sprawled on to her bed, like two kids at a sleepover.
“Some of that singing was a bit painful,” she laughed, adding mischievously ,”I’m assuming there will be photographs ?”
“Are you serious ? By now, there will be whole videos being uploaded to youtube !” I laughed.
Kat turned to face me, her expression suddenly quite serious,
“How was it for you with Lainie coming?”
I sighed,
“It was a bit weird at first, after all, we’ve never gone out as adults before, but it’s been fun,” I answered truthfully, but, Kat was clearly unconvinced,
“ Carrie,you’re still sober, are you sure that isn’t the result of Mum-mode kicking in?”
I laughed again, shaking my head,
“No, I wanted to make sure everything ran smoothly and that’s always harder if you’re totally wrecked and under a table !”
Kat conceded I perhaps had a point, but quickly filled my glass again with champagne, insisting, as we had now arrived safely, it was time for me to abandon my responsibilities, an invitation I found easy to accept.
Almost an hour later, the bottle lay empty on the floor, having spent most of that time helplessly giggling, we were now tiring and so the conversation inevitably turned slightly more serious, as Kat started to talk about her possible future with Matt. As I listened, it was clear she loved him completely, her
eyes almost misted over as she spoke about how he made her feel safe and loved,
“I never thought anyone would make me feel this way,” she added, “And to think I nearly blew it with that guy Karl, thank God you never said anything !”
“There was no reason, after all, it was just a momentary thing, we all do those,” I insisted, “I’m just glad you’re so happy now.”
“I am, and who knows ? In a few years, I might be a mum like you,” she said, I feigned horror,
“What a mini version of you? I’m not sure I could take it !”
“Very funny,” Kat growled, I laughed again and assured her, with slightly too much ‘sincerity’, the world could only be a better place with more of her in it, a notion, she readily accepted having chosen to ignore the obvious teasing on my part.
When I realised how late it was, I suggested maybe it was time to get some sleep, explaining there was still more to come in the morning and we would want to be able to enjoy it all, however, as I went to move, Kat grabbed my arm,
“Carrie, can I ask you something?”
The seriousness of her tone caused me to stop trying to leave and turn to face her,
“Of course,” I replied, “Anything.”
“Have you ever kissed a woman?”
For some reason, the question took me completely by surprise, so much so, I felt an over-whelming urge to respond with some attempt at humour, but I could see, there was something more to come,
“Yes, I have, why do you ask?” I replied, opting for the simple truth, but wanting to know where this was leading, my answer seemed exactly what she had expected, as the initial tension lifted from her face, to be replaced by intense thoughtfulness,
“It’s just, I never have, and now, I’m going to be married and, it just seems to me, if I don’t do it now, I will never know what it’s like,” she answered carefully. For a moment, I had no idea what to say, after all, we had known each other for years and this had never come up before, even when we had been ridiculously drunk in the past, there had never been any hint from either of us, we had ever found each other attractive sexually. When I outlined these thoughts, Kat smiled,
“I’m not coming out of the closet ! And if I was, you’re so not my type !”
I laughed,
“And you think you’re mine?”
Kat frowned and insisted she was, in fact, everyone’s type, and if I didn’t see that, I clearly had no taste !
This exchange lightened the mood, but Kat quickly returned to her original point,
“I just want to know.”
Suddenly I felt I was, perhaps, making too much out of her request, so without pausing, I reached across and turned off the bedside lamp, believing this might make the whole thing less awkward for both of us. We both sat up, facing each other, I took her face in my hands and leant forward, without hesitation, our lips met softly for a brief moment before we separated. I was about to say something, but Kat spoke first,
“That was nice, but it wasn’t a real kiss.”
Before I could respond, she kissed me again, this time with more intensity, I felt her hand on the side of my face, easing me slightly closer, almost despite myself, my lips parted, allowing her tongue to meet mine, for a moment, I almost forgot who it was , as it felt so unexpectedly good. Suddenly,the reality hit me and I pulled back sharply,
“OK, I think that’s enough.”
Kat flopped back on the bed, switching the light back on as she fell,
“Fuck me, Carrie, thank God we’ve never done that before, otherwise we’d never have had another man !” she gasped, I laughed and clambered off the bed, almost slipping on the empty bottle. After jokingly promising we would never tell anyone what we had done, we wished each other a good night and I returned to my room, once inside, I realised, despite the late hour, I didn’t feel even slightly tired. So after quickly checking my reflection in the mirror, I wandered downstairs without any real destination in mind, kissing Kat had made me feel uneasy somehow and I hoped I could shake the discomfort with a change of scene.
When I reached the reception area, I noticed two large doors at one end, which seemed to open into a large lounge area, so I walked over to have a closer look, when it seemed deserted, I slowly went inside. There were large armchairs carefully arranged in groups around coffee tables, a huge fireplace dominated the room, although the fire had almost died down in the grate. I sat down in one of the chairs and gazed into the dying embers, and allowed my mind to wander, as I sat there, in the half-light, it occurred to me how long it had been since I had been with a man. For some inexplicable reason, I found this revelation to be almost disturbing in a way, since Jay, there had been no-one, other than Vanessa and now,Kat, suddenly I found myself wondering if I was ever going to be with a man again. When I realised I was almost panicking at this thought, I gave myself a swift, internal rebuke, after all ,there had been men before, so there could well be again, so I needed to stop being so ridiculous. Thankfully, my own words made sense and I relaxed back into my chair, now slightly amused at how easily I had managed to cause myself such a fraught moment, my peace was almost instantly disturbed by the slight creak of the doors opening. I glanced across the room to see a man enter, he was smartly-dressed, when I noticed the small gold badge on his lapel, it was clear he was a member of staff. As he walked purposefully over to the fire, it was obvious he hadn’t seen me, so when I wished him a good evening, he stopped in his tracks and quickly looked around the room.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” I said gently, he turned towards me and smiled, his dark eyes glowing in the remaining light from the fire, as I looked at him, there was something almost unreal about him, like one of those vampires in the books Lainie used to read,
“I should apologise, I didn’t know anyone was in here,” he replied, I noted a slight trace of an accent in his voice, this, combined with his looks, confirmed to my imagination, he was indeed from the dark side. Despite myself, this ridiculous notion made me smile, which he noticed immediately,
“Can I share the joke?” he asked politely, I shook my head,
“No, it’s just too stupid,” I replied firmly, he smiled and walked to the fire, without looking up, he asked if I intended on staying for much longer, as if I was, he would need to add some more wood. Now feeling slightly awkward and not really knowing why, I quickly commented on the lateness of the hour and added I should probably return to my room, I heard him sigh heavily,
“That’s a shame, I’ve finished for the night, I usually have a small brandy before I retire and I was hoping you might join me.”
He looked steadily at me, as if he knew I was going to say ‘yes’ even before I spoke, part of me wanted to stand up and walk out of the room, feigning horror at his suggestion, but either it was the warmth of the fire, the comfort of the chair or, more likely, my curiosity, I heard myself accepting his offer. I watched as he carefully poured us both a large drink, before he settled in the chair opposite mine, he pulled off his tie and tossed it carelessly on the table between us.
“So, why are you up so late...er...”
“Carrie,” I interrupted.
“So why Carrie? Couldn't you sleep ?”
"I just needed some time alone,” I replied, almost immediately he apologised for disturbing me and started to move,
“You don’t have to apologise or leave, this is nice,” I assured him, he smiled and settled back again. At my prompting, he explained his name was Josef, he was the restaurant manager and he was originally from Poland, but had lived in England for almost a year.
“Will you go back one day?” I asked, he shook his head,
“I have nothing to go back for, my life is here now,” he answered decisively.
He asked me a little about what had brought me to the hotel, after I had explained about the wedding, he asked if I was already married, when I shook my head, I noticed him smile briefly. He leant forward and topped up my glass,
“Are
you trying to get me drunk ?” I asked, feigning innocence, “As I should warn you, I never do anything drunk that I wouldn’t have done sober.”
Josef nodded slightly, as if admitting I had caught him out somehow,
“I shall remember that,” he said almost to himself.
As we continued to talk, my mind went back to my earlier concern about how long it had been since Jay, surely this man appearing was a bit too convenient, after all, here I was, openly flirting, without even pausing to see if I found him even slightly attractive. Suddenly my head filled with awkward questions, hadn’t I moved on from those times of having sex with strangers?
What had happened to all my fine resolutions to wait for someone special?Was it really so easy to fall back into old ways? And, the worst of them all, had I really forgotten how awful I had felt the next morning?
It was this one, ringing around my mind, which made me put down the glass on the table and start to move, Josef glanced at me anxiously,
“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, hastily putting his glass down next to mine, I looked back at him, realising I could not just leave without some kind of explanation,
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong, it’s just, maybe us sitting here together, late at night, is not such a good idea,” I began slowly.
“Why?” he asked, “It’s good, isn’t it?”
Despite my resolve to leave, this man seemed to be both sexy and endearing at the same time, in a moment, his dark eyes seemed to switch from being all-knowing to somehow brimming with innocence, in fact, the more I looked at him, this description applied to his whole face, all framed with his jet black hair, which despite some obvious effort to slick it back neatly, was rebelling with small curls forcing themselves out where they could.
“Yes, it is good, Josef, and that might be a problem,” I admitted , hoping he would understand without me having to explain any further. He smiled broadly, before standing up ,walking over to my chair and offering his arm,