Love's Trusting (The Love's Series)

by Jordan, Maryann

  Sucking in her lips, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to keep talking or not, but the fear of the day won out and she continued.

  “Mr. Charleston seemed like he was nervous and then when I saw that Mr. Marcelli appeared uncomfortable as well, I was frustrated. Both men seemed as though reporting anything to Animal Control was the last thing they wanted to have happen even though I had already done it at the time they came in. And Mr. Marcelli’s creepy nephew definitely seemed like he was in charge and wanted me out of there.”

  Sucking in a painful breath, she felt herself lean heavily against BJ, who gave off a feeling of comfort she had not known in a long time while making her wish she could jump up and run away once more.

  Just then, the doctor came back into the room. The x-rays had shown that she did not have broken ribs, but she had multiple contusions. “I will give you a pain reliever in your IV and then you will have a prescription to fill for more.” The nurse came in with a syringe and immediately Suzanne relaxed, the pain instantly ebbing from her body.

  Shane looked at Matt, Gabe, and BJ saying, “We’re not going to get anything else out of her tonight.”

  The nurse looked at the wall of handsome testosterone standing in front of her and said, “Will one of you be taking care of her? The discharge instructions include that she cannot drive nor should she be alone while this pain reliever is in her system which will be for about twenty-four hours.”

  “She’s mine,” BJ quickly interjected.

  Matt and Shane grinned, but Gabe carefully stared at BJ.

  “Just for now or do you mean something more?” Gabe asked.

  BJ held Gabe’s eyes. “I’ll give you that, man. I’ll let you question my intentions…this one time and this is the last time.” Looking back down at the drowsy Suzanne reclining in the bed, he continued, “She was mine from the time she was fifteen years old. I let her go, but never again.” Raising his eyes back to his friends, he said, “So when I say that she’s mine…I mean that She. Is. Mine.”

  Matt slapped him on the back. “Good enough for me. I’ll tell Lily to stop worrying, but she’ll probably come over tomorrow to check on her.”

  Shane gave a chin lift and simply said, “Annie’ll come too.”

  Gabe held his stare for just a moment before the corner of his mouth turned up. “I hope you can get where you want to be with her. She needs you.” Then he smiled as he looked at her resting form. “But I think she’ll give you hell getting her there.” With that, he laughed as he turned and walked out followed by the other two.

  Chapter 7

  After having carefully carried Suzanne into the clinic, deftly locking and re-setting the alarm then moving up the inside stairs to her apartment, BJ gently placed her on the bed.

  Her face, slack from pain medicine, had a goofy grin on it and he couldn’t help but smile. Glancing down, he leaned over to unbutton her jeans. Beginning to slide them down over her hips and legs, he heard her gasp.

  “Oh, no-no bad boy,” she slurred. “I know what you’re tryin’ to do. You wanna take at…advanish…advanich of me.”

  Cocking his eyebrow at her, he grinned. “You think I’m taking advantage of you?” he asked as he tossed her jeans on the floor while keeping his eyes away from her legs. Just to prove her wrong, he pulled the covers up. Walking over to her dresser, he opened a drawer, stunned to find it full of his old high school t-shirts. Fingering the soft, worn material, he grabbed one.

  Suzanne looked down at the covers and her face scrunched into a frown. Lifting her eyes back to him, she continued to frown. “You donsh wan me?”

  “Baby doll, you have no idea how much I want you,” he replied as he lifted her shirt over her head, now forcing his eyes to not stare at her breasts. His eyes dropped to her ribs and saw the dark bruising there and felt his anger flow again. Quickly pulling a t-shirt onto her, he settled her back onto the bed.

  Pulling his jeans off as well, he slid under the covers, tucking her body tightly to his, he ordered, “Rest, Suzy. You need it. And tomorrow, we’ll deal with whatever you were dealing with that got you in this mess.”

  The quiet of the night settled around them as her voice washed over him on a whisper. “I always loved you, Brad. I never stopped. That’s why I had to leave,” she continued to slur. “I dinna wan to, but I left. It was the only way to give you back your life.”

  The last words came out so softly that he wasn’t sure that he heard them. The impact struck him as if she had gutted him once more. Give me back my life? What the fuck does she mean by that? Hearing the deep breaths of her sleeping, he knew no more answers were coming that night. Tomorrow babe. That’s it. No more tip-toeing around what’s going on in your head.

  Being careful of her bruised ribs, he tucked her back to his front cradling her safely in his arms as he curled his body protectively around her. One arm under her head and the other around her waist, his hand splayed out over her stomach.

  * * *

  Suzanne’s eyes opened slowly to the soft, early morning light filtering in through the blinds on her bedroom window. As she tried to stretch two things became very apparent. One, her body ached as though she had fallen down stairs. The other was that something large was pressed against her back and its arm was wrapped across her body. Her sleep foggy mind suddenly remembered the events of the evening before. She did fall down stairs and Brad!

  Jerking her body upright, she gasped as the pain sliced through her ribcage. “Auugh,” she cried out.

  Trying to catch her breath, she felt the bed shift as the other person there moved off and walked around to her side. Keeping her eyes down toward the floor, large male feet came into view.

  “Suzy?”

  He can’t be here. This isn’t happening. She could feel the familiar pang of heartache spearing through her knowing that he was near but unable to have him.

  “Suzy?” he asked again.

  Refusing to lift her eyes, she saw him squat until his face was level with hers.

  “Suzy, I’m right here. You can’t pretend I’m not.”

  Slowly she lifted her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat again but not from pain. How is it possible that he can look this good first thing in the morning?

  “Baby, stay right there and I’ll get the pills,” he said as his hand came up to cup her face as he noticed her crystal blue eyes were dulled with pain.

  As she stared into his slate-blue orbs, she felt the slight stubble and saw his messy hair – as though he had run his hands through it many times.

  She wanted to fight the urge to lean into his palm, but the pull was too great. Closing her eyes for just a second, she allowed herself the luxury of feeling his large hand completely warm her face. As she felt his thumb move over her cheek, she jerked away.

  “I’m fine. Really. Thank you for…helping last night. I…um…couldn’t find anyone else who could come,” she called after him as he walked into the bathroom.

  “I’m not going anywhere, babe. You need help and I’m not walking away.”

  “No, really Brad. I’m just a little sore.” She forced herself to look into his face, hoping that he could see the sincerity instead of a lie coming out of her mouth.

  He knelt back down in front of her holding out the pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

  Sighing, she said, “What’s the prescription? I don’t want to be as out of it today as I was last night.”

  “It’s just prescription-strength ibuprofen. There’s another one for codeine, but I knew you wouldn’t want that.”

  How did he remember that?

  “Wisdom teeth, Suzy. That summer you had them out, you hated the way codeine made your stomach feel.”

  She closed her eyes as the floodgate of memories from that summer washed over her.

  I was seventeen and he was eighteen. The bonfires, picnics, swimming in the river, hanging out with their friends. Long walks in the woods, each secretly looking for just the right place to start ma
king out. Another growth spurt had him taller and more filled out than the summer before. He always took charge of every kiss, knowing I was shy but that I desperately wanted his mouth on mine as much as he did.

  After having my wisdom teeth removed, he came over to my house. Mom opened the door and I could hear him coming up the stairs to my bedroom. “Door stays open,” mom called. Brad entered my room, rolling his eyes as he walked over to the bed.

  “Hey gorgeous,” he said, bending over to kiss my forehead. His arms were filled with flowers, balloons, and a stuffed bear.

  My head felt woozy from the codeine and I gave him a goofy, weak smile. We piled up and watched some TV until mom reappeared carrying a tray. For Brad, several sandwiches, chips and a huge glass of milk. For me, jello. Green jello.

  “Kids, I have to run to the bakery. Behave yourselves,” mom admonished with a smile.

  Glaring at him as he shoved down his lunch, I slowly slurped the jello, having to admit that it tasted great. Until…without warning, I threw up. Green juice sprayed all over the bedspread and down the front of my t-shirt.

  Mortified, I desperately wished for a black hole to swallow me but no such luck. Nausea rolled through me again and as I dry heaved, blood began to trickle from my lips. Not able to control the heaving and embarrassed at the mess I was making in front of Brad, I began to cry.

  He quickly ran to the bathroom to get towels and a warm bath cloth. Cleaning me up while his strong arm supported me, I eased back into him. He took charge and took care of me. Stripping the bedspread off of the bed and gathering the towels, he headed to the laundry room and started the washing machine. Coming back to me, he gently held the bath cloth to my mouth, as the bleeding stopped.

  Settling on the bed behind me, he cradled me in his arms. “Shhh,” he admonished as I tried to apologize.

  “Suzy, we’ll have lots of times like this. Times when we take care of each other. ‘In sickness and in health.’ Isn’t that the saying?”

  I turned to look at the beautiful face peering deeply into my eyes. Smiling, I agreed. “Yeah, that’s the saying.”

  “And when we get married, we’ll take care of each other until we are so old we have to help each other out of bed every day. Or maybe, we’ll just stay in bed all day.”

  I giggled. “I don’t think we’ll be messing around when we are that old!”

  He placed a gentle kiss on my lips as he vowed, “We’ll never be too old to mess around.”

  Settling back into the bed, he continued, “And when we have kids, we’ll have to do this for them too.”

  No. No. Pulling herself out of her memories, she shook her head. “You’re right. Just the ibuprofen, please.”

  BJ looked at her as she swallowed the pills. For a moment, her face had gone soft as her eyes had seemed to focus on something far away, and then suddenly she was right back to pulling away from him again. The wall was back up and it pissed him off.

  Standing, he walked back to the bathroom to give himself a moment. Goddammit. After everything we shared. After everything we went through. How could she have just turned her back on us? Leaning his tall frame on the sink, he stared into the mirror. What was it she said last night? It was the only way to give him back his life?

  Turning he stalked back into the bedroom, wanting answers. He saw her wince as she tried to move out of the bed.

  “Oh no, Lil’ bit. Let’s take a look at those ribs before you try to do too much today.” Gently laying her back onto the bed, he lifted her shirt carefully to just under her breasts. He could see the dark bruises from the fall and thought his teeth would crack from holding his jaw so tightly. Lifting his eyes, he saw her bright pink face flaming from embarrassment. Lowering her shirt, he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

  “Suzy, I’m gonna make you some breakfast and then we’ll get comfortable. We’ve got some things to talk out and now’s as good a time as any.”

  He turned and walked out of the tiny bedroom heading to the kitchen.

  She lay there staring at his retreating back. Talk? Talk about what? Last night? The attack?

  She carefully moved toward the bathroom, quickly taking care of business and running a brush through her long, dark hair. Deftly braiding it so that it hung down her back, she washed her face and brushed her teeth, not having done that when she crashed last night.

  Standing at the door of the bedroom, she heard noises coming from the kitchen. The enticing smell of eggs and bacon calling to her. I can do this. I can walk into the kitchen, thank him for his assistance, and then politely let him know that I’m fine. I can do this. I can do this.

  Walking around the small counter she stopped dead in her tracks. The view in front of her made her breath come unsteadily and it had nothing to do with her injuries. His torso was bare, his back muscles rippling as he moved around the small kitchen area. His blond hair, shaggy and needing a cut had her fingers twitching. His sweat pants hung low on his hips, showcasing his ass which was more spectacular than it had been years ago. He was broader, heavier, more…everything. There was no denying that the Brad of her younger years was now a man in every sense of the word.

  Turning around, he caught her staring and he smiled a lazy smile, lifting his eyebrow in question. “Like what you see?”

  She snapped her mouth closed, quickly saying, “Yes, the breakfast looks lovely.”

  Throwing his head back, he laughed, “Oh baby. You can look at my…bacon all you want.”

  “Oh, you’re impossible,” she groused. Moving toward the coffee, she found herself staring directly into his chest as he had moved also. Glaring up, she said, “You so do not want to get between me and my coffee.”

  His large, warm hand came around and cupped the back of her head, gently pulling it toward him. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he said, “Go on and have a seat babe. I’ll get your coffee and serve breakfast in just a minute.”

  She wanted to lean into him again. Rest her weight into him. Allow him to wrap her in his arms. Protect. Care. Comfort.

  Jerking back quickly, she sucked in a quick breath. “Yes, um…thank you,” she said, moving toward the small dinette table.

  The breakfast was simple but filling and she found herself cleaning her plate. Then she watched in amazement as he ate at least three times the amount she had. She started to make a quip about where he put it all, but then couldn’t help but peruse his body again. Broad shoulders, muscular build. He probably needs that much just to maintain that body.

  BJ was doing a good job of pretending not to notice her as he ate, but it wasn’t easy. Her delicate features still showed the dark circles under her eyes, the only marring of a perfect face. The face that launched my daydreams and haunts my nightmares.

  Quickly cleaning up the dishes, he maneuvered them to the couch, each in their own corner but facing each other.

  Taking a deep breath, she began her practiced speech. “Brad, it was really nice of you to come help me out and I apprecia-”

  “Not gonna work, baby doll,” he interrupted. “We’re not kids anymore and I’m not letting you walk away again.”

  Licking her lips nervously, she looked down at her clasped hands. “BJ,” she stammered, “I’m not…um…I can’t…I don’t…” Clearing her voice as she tried to steady her racing mind, she began again, “It’ll be hard…both of us friends with Lily. But…um…we can do this. Friends, I mean. I…think I can.”

  He moved closer to her on the couch, still not touching her, but close enough that she could feel his presence looming. Crowding. Familiar. She closed her eyes, not able to bear seeing him stare at her.

  “Suzy,” his voice, gentle and soothing, washed over her. “We can’t pretend we don’t have a history. We can’t pretend we don’t have something between us.”

  Still looking down at her lap, she tried to nod but her heart could not seem to follow. “I…,” she stopped, rubbing her head. Her breathing began to falter and the familiar sensation of panic started to flow. Her head b
egan to shake back and forth and before BJ could stop her, she jump from the couch pacing quickly. “No, no. Can’t do this. Can’t have you here. I can’t deal…can’t take this.”

  BJ bolted from the couch and grabbed her shoulders, effectively halting her pacing. Leaning down, he tried to get in her line of vision but she kept shaking her head. What he could see in her eyes scared him. It was as though she had shut out the room. Shut out him. Trying to shut out the memories.

  “Suzy,” he ordered gently. “Look at me.” Giving her a small shake he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her shivering body, holding her tightly.

  She continued to shake her head, although her movements had slowed. He felt the quivering cease, thinking she was pulling herself together.

  Suddenly a sob tore from her body, the animal wailing piercing the quiet of the morning as she went slack, his arms the only thing keeping her from dropping to the floor.

  “It’s gone. My baby’s gone. I lost it. I lost it,” she cried over and over, her eyes pressed tightly shut as her head shook back and forth once again.

  BJ lowered her to the floor, his arms still around her trying to protect her from the tortures in her mind. Jesus, baby. Did you go through this all alone?

  “It hurts so bad, Brad. I never wanted to lose it. I wanted our baby. I wanted us. But I lost it,” her anguished sobs continued. “It was my fault,” she cried.

  Pulling her body into his, he wrapped his legs around her as his arms tightened once more, trying to cocoon her. “Shh,” he whispered. “Baby, it just happened. Don’t you remember? The doctor told us that it just wasn’t the right time. It was nature’s way of taking care of it.”

  Her face contorted in fresh grief as her body jerked with sobs, huge tears sliding down her cheeks onto his shirt. “My baby,” she wailed over and over, until her voice choked with hoarseness.

  With one hand cradling the back of her head and the other arm wrapped tightly around her middle, he tried to overpower her agony, feeling tears sliding down his cheeks as well. He’d sought counseling at the university, glad that he had and assumed that Suzy had done the same. The realization that she had bottled up all of her grief for four years washed over him, pulling at his conscience. Jesus, why has she suffered alone? They had both been close to their high school counselor and he assumed that Ms. Dodd had helped her. But only if Suzy had let her in, he realized.