Shameless (Loving Fallon Book 1)

by Delecroix, Cassandra

  What? Aren’t we supposed to be having hot, sweaty sex? I’m at a loss for words as I try to figure out what he’s up to.

  Blake looks amused by my expression. “Why do you look so confused? Eating is a normal everyday occurrence, you should be quite proficient at it by now,” he teases.

  He seriously wants to go eat. My eyes shift to the bed where I recall in vivid detail riding him until we couldn’t hold back any longer. I thought the sex had been great. Was I wrong?

  “What in the world is going on in that head of yours?” Blake murmurs.

  My attention returns to him. “Don’t you want to have sex?” I blurt.

  A wicked smile forms across his lips, and his eyes deliberately run over my body. “Definitely, but if I toss you on my bed and have my way with you, you might think that’s all that I’m after.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  Blake blinks and all humor fades. “Wait, you thought I brought you here just so I could bang you and then send you on your way?”

  I meet his gaze unflinchingly. “Yes.”

  He looks offended. “So all this time I’ve been coming off as a total douchebag?”

  What the hell? Did I somehow move to mars instead of Ohio? “Of course not. I just thought you wanted to have sex again.”

  “I do,” he says honestly. “You have no idea how badly I want you again, but I can’t get to know you if we’re always in my bed, screwing each other senseless.”

  I’m speechless. Twice in one week…? I don’t understand why Nick and Blake are so interested in me. It’s what I’ve always wanted, but now that it’s actually happening, I’m scared to dare believe it.

  Blake looks puzzled as he watches the emotions flickering across my face. “I can tell that I’ve caught you off guard. Now that I think about it, I guess I can see how you’d get the wrong idea since we hooked up Saturday. You’re irresistible, and when I realized you wanted me too, I went for it. I had every intention of getting to know you though, I still do.”

  I’m not sure what to say.

  Blake studies me, his expression tensing. “Hell, I was the one who was just the screw, wasn’t I?”

  Answering his question is currently beyond my capabilities. I’m still struggling to process that he’s interested in more than just sex.

  “Fuck,” Blake says under his breath. “I’ve been making a fool out of myself for the past few hours, haven’t I?”

  It sinks in that this conversation is going downhill faster than I can process it. “Just wait. Give me a second,” I quickly cut in, preventing him from saying anything more.

  He falls silent and stares at me, grim humiliation etched across his features.

  I walk over and touch his chest to show my sincerity. “I’ve enjoyed the past few hours. It was a pleasant surprise.” I draw in a deep breath and confess, “I’m just used to guys wanting to hook up and nothing more. I never considered that you might actually want to get to know me.”

  His humiliation begins to fade.

  “I just thought I was rebound sex,” I add.

  Blake’s expression slowly relaxes. “I can see why you’d think that, but I’ve been over Camilla for months, probably even longer than that. You were never a rebound.” He hesitates. “Honestly, I don’t know what you are other than a breath of fresh air that I enjoy being around. Does that mean this will lead to anything? Hell if I know. All I care about at this point is that I want to spend time with you.”

  I like his honesty. He’s not making promises, and he’s making it clear that he’s not even sure what we’re doing. He’s just as confused as I am, and that has me feeling more relaxed with the situation. I try hard to hold back my excitement over him wanting more than just sex, because I know that if we continue this, I have twice the chance of getting hurt with both Nick and Blake in my life. It’s scary but yet exhilarating.

  Blake looks at me questioningly. “Well, now that everything is out in the open, what are we going to do? Do you want to continue whatever this is?”

  If this had happened before my failed seduction with Nick, I would be floundering. But now that Nick wants to be friends, and I’ve been through one of these conversations already, I’m not as shocked as I would have been. There’s no way I am going to walk away from whatever it is that Blake’s offering me. All this time I’ve been assuming that I am unlikable, that something is wrong with me. Maybe…I was wrong.

  “I want to continue if that’s what you want,” I tell him.

  He slowly smiles. “I want,” he says firmly. He’s reaching for me when he suddenly goes still, his head tilting as he listens intently. “Shit. Someone’s home early.”

  “Is that bad?”

  “Yes.” He grabs my hand, pulling me towards his bedroom door. “Don’t talk until we’re clear of the house,” he warns.

  I’m shocked by this new turn of events, but I silently follow him as he leads me into the hall and in the opposite direction of the stairwell. When we reach what I had once thought was a dead end, I find that there’s another hall around the corner. It’s short, and it takes us to a narrow set of stairs. When we reach the first floor, we creep down another hall to a back door that leads out to the pool deck. Blake confidently holds my hand in his as we walk along the side of the house, and then around the garage to enter the still open doorway.

  An expensive, dark SUV is parked next to his car, and he pulls out his keys and opens the Camaro’s passenger door for me. I quickly get in, and a second later, he’s driving down the driveway and past the open gate.

  “What was that about?” I ask cautiously.

  Self-disgust flickers across Blake’s face as he grips the steering wheel tightly. “That was me being a pussy and not wanting to face my mom. My parents have been shoving Camilla down my throat for years, and they aren’t happy that I broke it off with her.”

  “Your parents pressured you into dating her?”

  He sighs, glancing at me with resignation. “It just seemed easier to give in at the time, but once I opened that door, I couldn’t shut it.”

  “Don’t they understand that you’re not interested in her?”

  “It’s not that easy,” he says. “Camilla’s parents are closely tied to my own, and my dad and Camilla’s father are planning a future business merger.” He looks at me bitterly. “My parents have had my life mapped out for years,” he explains before facing forward again. “I’m supposed to follow in my dad’s footsteps and play college football, join his fraternity, and maybe even go pro. While I’m making a name for myself, I’m supposed to be building connections with those that could help further my career once I’m part of the family business. There’s a wedding and heirs in there somewhere too, I just can’t remember which years those were planned for,” he mutters.

  “They just expect you to go along with all that?” I ask, completely shocked that they would make all his decisions for him.

  “Pretty much. I’m their only child, so it’s been instilled in me from an early age that I have a role to play in the family. When I don’t…” His voice trails off, and his jaw tightens. “I want to get out so damned bad, but I don’t know how.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I know that sounds so impersonal, but that’s just…”

  He glances at me, his lips twisting unhappily. “I told you my life is a lie. My life is theirs, not my own.”

  “What about when you turn eighteen?”

  He sighs. “I don’t know.”

  I’m quiet now, because I don’t know what to say.

  Blake reaches out and takes my hand as he drives. “I don’t know what it is about you that makes me overshare,” he says wryly.

  I squeeze his hand and flash him a smile. “I’m honored that you do.”

  He returns my smile as he slows down at an intersection. “It’s nice sharing my problems with someone. I get tired of holding it all in.”

  “Isn’t there anyone that you can talk to about the things that bother you?”

/>   “There used to be, but not lately. None of my friends would understand my need to break away from…all of it.” He sighs again and looks at me as we wait for the light to change. “Someday, I want to find out who I am without the rich, controlling father and all the fucking glory and shit that goes along with being a Cavanaugh.”

  It’s ironic. I’ve always been alone in the world while Blake has been suffocated by his family. I’ve yearned to have a set of parents involved in my life, but maybe it’s not as great as I’d thought it would be.

  “You’ll get your chance,” I murmur. “It’s hard to do anything when you’re not considered a legal adult. You also have to graduate high school to really get anywhere in this world. That stuff ties you down no matter what your situation is.”

  The light turns, and Blake faces the road again. “Yeah, I hear you.”

  We both are quiet until Blake turns onto my street, and I look at him with surprise. “You’re taking me home?”

  He pulls the car over to the curb a moment later. “As much as I want to spend more time with you, I need to go back,” he says.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s expected of me.” He pulls out his cell phone and looks at me expectantly. “What’s your number?”

  I flush with embarrassment. “I don’t have one.”

  Blake looks at me with bewilderment. “You don’t have a cell phone? At all?”

  I shake my head.

  “Why? Won’t your aunt let you have one?”

  “It’s not that,” I mutter, wishing he’d just drop the topic.

  “You have a job. Wouldn’t that pay for a phone?”

  “I need a car more than I need a cell phone,” I say uncomfortably.

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” Blake says as a flush creeps up his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was just hoping I could text you and stuff.” He clears his throat. “I mean if that was what you wanted. If you had a phone,” he adds.

  His awkwardness has me smiling. “It would have been nice,” I admit.

  Blake’s expression relaxes. “I love how genuine you are,” he murmurs. Then he leans over and kisses me. I move closer, my hand reaching up to rest on his chest as his tongue strokes mine. Neither of us are willing to break the kiss, so we kiss deeply, enjoying one another until Blake reluctantly pulls away.

  He reaches out and brushes my lower lip with his thumb. “I’d better go,” he says lightly.

  I can’t resist pressing a soft kiss to the pad of his thumb. I’m finding that Blake is someone who likes to be affectionate, and I absolutely love how he makes me feel. “See you at school,” I murmur.

  “I’ll walk you to your window,” he offers, his eyes betraying that he’s not ready to end our evening yet.

  I shake my head, knowing that it’ll just lead to more kissing. As much as I would enjoy it, I don’t want to cause further problems for him if he’s expected at home. “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him with a smile.

  After Blake leaves, and I am sitting on my bed, I pull out Nick’s drawing to study it. I have two guys in my life that actually want to get to know me. They both seem to see me in different ways, but yet they still see me. I’m going to savor every moment until they decide that they don’t want me anymore.

  Ten

  As I walk across the school grounds the following morning, I notice that people are staring at me. When a group of guys begin checking me out, I start to frown. Not that it’s abnormal for a couple of guys to show a little interest, but I rarely get this much attention from an entire group. What is going on? Do they know that Blake dropped me off a block away before driving the rest of the way himself? Blake insists that it isn’t because he doesn’t want to be seen with me. He thinks that if he flaunts me in front of Camilla too much, it’s going to cause further issues between him and his parents.

  I don’t blame him.

  Someone lets out a loud wolf whistle, and I have no idea if it’s directed at me or not, but I hear laughter following in my wake. Something is definitely going on, and I’m betting it has to do with me, and Camilla is likely the cause of it. As I enter the school and start walking the halls, I notice that people are looking at their cell phones and talking in hushed whispers. Something is circulating through social media.

  Three guys are admiring something on a cell phone when one of them looks up, spying me. He flashes me a lecherous grin. “What’s your number?” he calls.

  I walk past him and his friends, ignoring them. When I turn down the next hall, there’s a commotion up ahead, and people are rushing towards it. I naturally follow along out of curiosity.

  When I hear someone murmur Blake’s name, a bad feeling stirs in my gut, and I begin elbowing my way through the crowd. When I reach the front and see Nick and Blake fighting, I’m stunned.

  Nick has the front of Blake’s shirt in his grip, and he slams him into a row of lockers. “She wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d just kept your dick in your pants,” he bites out.

  Blake shoves Nick away from him, his face full of fury. “Fuck off, Parrish. You don’t know shit about Fallon.”

  Nick, refusing to back off, stalks towards him, his fists clenching. “I know enough to know that you’re bad for her. You’re the last thing she needs.”

  “She doesn’t seem to think that,” Blake taunts. He lowers his shoulders and tackles Nick, his right shoulder slamming into his stomach. The momentum sends Nick into the opposite row of lockers, and the crash is deafening in the hallway.

  Quick as lightening, Nick’s fist shoots out and makes contact with Blake’s jaw. Blake stumbles backwards, and Nick shoves him, his expression promising further violence

  This has to do with me? What the hell?

  I rush over and quickly try to break up the fight by placing myself in front of Blake, who has managed to gain his footing and was beginning to launch himself at Nick. “Stop it!” I yell, and I feel Blake’s chest collide with my back before his arms wrap around me to keep me from falling face first into Nick. I stand between them, Blake’s arms protectively wrapped around me as Nick stands before us, his expression grim.

  “Break it up!” an authoritative voice yells above the sound of students cheering on the fight.

  More teachers arrive, and my third period teacher, Mr. McGregor, looks at Nick and Blake—with me still standing between them. “You three, to the office. Now.”

  I wasn’t involved in the fight, at least not physically, but I don’t mind tagging along. They were fighting over me, and I want to find out why. The crowd parts, and two teachers hover closely on either side of us as we begin walking down the hall. I move closer to Blake, who is wiping blood off his lip. I want to ask him what is going on, but the teachers are right there.

  He meets my questioning gaze, and his brown eyes look troubled. “I’m going to take care of it,” he vows in a low, grim voice.

  “Take care of what?” I whisper with confusion.

  Nick overhears us and steps closer. “Shit. She doesn’t know yet,” he says under his breath to Blake.

  My eyes shift to Nick, and he’s gazing at me with sad eyes. “What is going on?” I demand.

  “Enough,” one of the teachers cut in.

  When we arrive to the office, we are shown to a row of plastic chairs that line the wall just outside the principal’s office. After another warning to be on our best behavior, we’re left alone as the school’s secretary watches us with an eagle eye.

  I turn on Blake and Nick. “Someone tell me what is going on, right now.”

  They both look away, avoiding my gaze.

  “Now.”

  Nick sighs and pulls his cell phone out of his jeans pocket. He swipes the screen and hands it to me, his expression telling me that I’m not going to like whatever’s on it.

  I accept it and peer at the screen. It’s a photo of myself, and I recognize the gym shower stall. During my shower sometime this past week, someone had peeled back a corner
of the curtain and had taken a photo of me. It’s a side pic instead of full frontal, and a hint of my butt is showing, and one of my breasts is in full view, my nipple visibly distended. So this is what everyone’s been looking at today?

  I look up to find both Nick and Blake watching me intently. “This is why you guys were fighting?” I ask.

  Nick scowls. “If he hadn’t dropped Camilla for you, she never would have done something like this. It’s all over social media, Fallon. It was sent to everyone’s phone, and from what I gather, it’s all over by now.”

  Blake shoots Nick a look. “I didn’t drop Camilla for Fallon. I would have broken up with her anyway.”

  “You guys,” I cut in. “It’s just a picture, it’s not the end of the world.”

  They both turn to stare at me as if I’ve grown a second head.

  Maybe I should be more upset about it, but I’m not. I’ve never been self-conscious about my body, and I’ve dealt with much worse situations in the past. If Camilla thought she was going to humiliate me, it’s not going to happen. It’s just a stupid picture. It’s not threatening me physically, and it doesn’t change my current circumstances. It is what it is.

  Nick seems to choose his words carefully. “Fallon, that nude picture is never going to go away,” he says softly.

  I look at them steadily. “It can’t be taken back, so there’s no point in getting upset over it.”

  Blake gives me an odd look. “You’re taking this a little too calmly.”

  “For once, I am in agreement,” Nick says as his eyebrows furrow.

  “Who threw the first punch?” I ask, switching the topic.

  They both are stubbornly silent.

  I’m about to demand an answer when I hear a familiar voice, and I look up. Catherine’s across the room, speaking with the secretary. She is not happy.

  “Oh shit,” I say under my breath. Why would they call Catherine? The actual photo is something I can brush off. Catherine, on the other hand, she could kick me out over this. My heart begins to pound in my chest, and a cold sweat breaks out across my forehead and under my arms.