Two Is a Lonely Number

by Amanda Torrey

  Oh, phewy. None of this made sense.

  Karly developed a sudden craving for a chocolate banana milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry, and since she had none of the ingredients, she was going to have to get dressed and head out to pick one up.

  Even though she had been refusing to answer Ben’s texts since their last fight, he continued to update her every day regarding his schedule so she’d know how best to reach him if she needed him. She considered punishing him by making him leave the big meeting he had today to indulge her cravings, but the idea only made her laugh. She knew he’d oblige, but that would be cruel.

  She didn’t bother with hair and make-up, but she did put on a fresh pair of khaki maternity pants and a flowing red top with a scooped neck that she loved. She had learned to embrace pregnancy fashion to the point that she thought maybe she’d actually miss these clothes.

  She wouldn’t mind being able to shave her legs, though.

  With the giant thirty-two week belly, she couldn’t see her feet, never mind reach her legs with a razor.

  Thank goodness for beauticians.

  Karly sang along to the radio as she drove into town, dodging slush puddles. March in New Hampshire was living up to its reputation as “mud season,” but this year, Karly didn’t mind. Her baby would be born along with the other animals of spring, and she couldn’t wait to spend a summer snuggling with the little thing.

  Tears gathered in her eyes at the realization that she had never been happier in her life.

  She hadn’t planned the pregnancy, hadn’t been thrilled for the first several months, but now she looked forward to sharing a life with a little human who was her own creation.

  And if that little human was anything like Ben, she wouldn’t mind a bit.

  Karly hit the brakes just in time to skid to a stop at the stop sign she had almost blown through.

  She loved the guy.

  She hadn’t recognized it, but like a lightning bolt to the heart, there it was.

  Shit. Shit. Double shit.

  That complicated things immensely.

  How could she love him alongside their baby when he wasn’t willing or able to love her in return?

  How painful would it be to watch him with their child being happy and carefree, while longing for a life they couldn’t possibly build together?

  A sudden gush made her think she had peed her pants. She had heard about this happening to pregnant women, but usually toward the end of the pregnancy or when they were doing something like jumping or sneezing.

  She was just driving. And mourning the loss of something she didn’t have and hadn’t wanted.

  She reached for the napkins in her glove compartment and cried out at the sudden pain in her gut. She straightened and looked down.

  Blood oozed onto her pants.

  Bright red blood.

  The kind of blood you never wish to see when you’re thirty-two weeks pregnant.

  Panic set in, but she kept driving. She’d drive herself to the hospital to be checked out.

  Using the voice command on her phone, she called Ben.

  He picked up on the second ring.

  “So you changed your mind about going to the city with me?”

  His cheerful voice quartered her heart.

  “I’m bleeding.”

  “Did you cut yourself? Are you okay?”

  “No. The baby.”

  “Where are you right now?”

  “I’m driving to the hospital. Ben, I don’t know why this is happening.”

  “You shouldn’t be driving. Hang up the phone and I’ll call the EMTs. No, stay on the line. Fuck! Give me that phone. Not you, Karly. Karly, you pull over and stay on the line. I’m calling Jenkins. He’ll get you to the hospital safely and I’ll meet you there.”

  Her shoulders shook with unreleased sobs.

  She was going to lose this baby.

  She screwed up.

  She did something wrong.

  She had wished it away, and now that she wanted it more than anything, she would lose the opportunity to prove that she could be a mother.

  “Karly, are you there?”

  She made a guttural sound into the phone.

  “Jenkins is in his car. Where are you?”

  “I’m,” her voice hitched. “I’m almost at the hospital.”

  “Please pull over. You shouldn’t be driving.”

  “I’ve got to get there. Oh my god, what did I do?”

  “Karly, you didn’t do anything. Focus. The doctors will help you.”

  Sirens blared behind her as she pulled into the parking lot. She stopped right in front of the ambulance bay and shifted the car into Park as the phone fell from her hand.

  “Karly! Karly are you there?”

  Ben’s voice rose from the floor, but nothing registered correctly as the door opened and Officer Jenkins pulled her out, shouting at the hospital workers to bring a stretcher.

  “You’re gonna be all right, Karly. They’ll take good care of you.”

  She focused on the kind eyes of Officer Jenkins as they wheeled her into the stark white halls of the ER. As she drifted off, she thought she saw her baby reaching for her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Hey sweet cakes, you gave us quite the scare.”

  Ben squeezed Karly’s hand as the machines buzzed and beeped around them.

  By the time he had raced to the hospital, they had already been checking her and the baby.

  “The baby?”

  “Is fine,” Ben assured her. “Not even a dip in the heart rate. He’s a strong little sucker.”

  “Are you sure?”

  He caught the tear that rolled down the side of her face before it could reach her hairline.

  “Absolutely certain. I made them let me hear it for myself.”

  “Why the blood?”

  “They think you have something called a placenta previa. They explained it to me, but it’s better if you let them tell you about it. Something about the placenta being low, close to the cervix. I don’t know. All I know is that you’re fine, the baby’s fine, and now you have no choice but to allow me to pamper you.”

  She closed her eyes and started sobbing. Wildly. Loud cries erupted, making him wonder why the nurses didn’t come running.

  “Baby, it’s okay.” He kissed her hand, then her face.

  “I’m so relieved.” Her words rolled out like thunder.

  “Me too.”

  The nurse came in and checked her vitals, asked how she was feeling, and gave her some information on the condition. Ben stood back, knuckle in teeth, warding off tears that threatened to slay him. That phone call had nearly killed him. He never imagined feeling so terrified of anything in his life.

  The idea of something happening to hurt Karly twisted his insides.

  As he tore out of first the building and then the parking lot to race to the hospital, images of a world without Karly haunted him.

  He didn’t know why he had never considered how dangerous childbirth could be.

  Women died giving birth.

  She could have died.

  Not only from the bleeding, but what if she had crashed into a tree from the shock? Jenkins told him she had lost consciousness soon after pulling into the parking lot—what if that had happened a moment sooner?

  So many horrible things could have happened.

  The nurse ushered him out of the room so they could check her bleeding. He asked to stay, but since they weren’t married, he had to go.

  Sitting in the hospital, sipping coffee that tasted like sludge, he vowed to do everything in his power to make Karly want to marry him.

  He loved her.

  He laughed to himself, shaking his head.

  He fucking loved her.

  No wonder he had been obsessed with seeing her nearly every day.

  No wonder he had the overwhelming urge to make her smile.

  No wonder he begged her to marry him every chance he got.

&nb
sp; He had thought it was all because of the baby, but he realized, as he sat in a hospital cafeteria, that though he was concerned about the baby and wanted to be the best dad he could possibly be, he had worried primarily about Karly.

  He had thought it strange that he couldn’t consider being with another woman since he had scored with Karly. He had questioned his manhood, yet he had no problem when it came to desiring Karly. All he had to do was catch a whiff of her sexy scent, think about her giving him hell, or see or touch her, and he was done.

  She was stuck upstairs in a hospital bed, and his thoughts could even venture into erotic territory.

  She had ruined him.

  And he couldn’t stop smiling.

  ***

  If Ben sent one more bouquet of flowers, she’d murder him.

  And if one more person “just happened to be in the neighborhood” and stopped by with a food product, she’d murder Ben’s dead body.

  She wasn’t naïve—she knew he sent them.

  Forced bed rest was one thing, but having to contend with a constant stream of people flowing through her open door was another.

  One week had passed since her visit to the ER. A visiting nurse, hired by the overprotective Ben, stopped by every day to check on the baby’s heartbeat and to see how Karly was feeling.

  Ben rushed over each night after work, bringing magazines, books, and, yup, more food products.

  She didn’t tell him when she bled a little, because he’d have hauled her ass back to the ER. They had said she’d probably spot a bit, and not to be alarmed.

  Ava had offered to take a leave of absence from work so she could hold vigil at Karly’s side, but the idea made Karly want to run away and hide in a cave.

  Though Karly was beside herself excited for Ava’s super easy, perfect pregnancy, it was a little hard to watch and compare to her own difficult one.

  Ben cuddled up to her at night. Amazed at how easily they fit together, she fell asleep quickly each night with him curled up behind her, his hands protectively splayed across her belly.

  One week after the bleeding event, she felt different when they cuddled in bed. She felt comfortable, yes, but also something else.

  Grateful.

  “You’ll be a wonderful father, Ben Knight,” she whispered.

  He squeezed her and kissed her ear.

  “I’m highly competitive, you know, and since you’ll be the best mother, I’ll be constantly trying to do better.”

  “You think I’ll be a good mom?” A tear slipped out before she could stop it.

  He flipped her so she was on her back. He hovered over her, brushing the hair off her face.

  “Do I think you’ll be a good mother? I think you’ll be incredible. I’ve seen the way you treat your belly—the way you eat healthy foods even when you don’t want to. The way you swore off caffeine and alcohol right from the beginning. The way your pace increases tenfold when we’re in a public area and someone is smoking nearby. The way you are religious about taking your prenatal vitamins but not about getting your nails done. I’ve seen you spending every extra penny you have to purchase stuff you know the baby will need, even though I’ve told you over and over again that I’ll take care of all of it. I’ve seen how you look at your belly in your reflection when you don’t think anyone is looking—you can’t fake that kind of love, Karly.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her lips with a feather-light touch.

  “You already love our baby. And that makes me—”

  His voice became hoarse, like he was choking on his words.

  “It makes me so grateful. You’re not only giving me a child, but you’re giving me a family.”

  She reached up to grab his head, pulling him down for a full kiss. Her tongue probed his mouth, inviting him to kiss her with all the passion they couldn’t deny.

  He obliged, deepening the kiss until she writhed with need.

  They couldn’t have sex—she knew that—but oh man, did she want to!

  He pulled away when things really started heating up.

  “Okay, you. Don’t torture me any more than I’m already tortured.”

  She laughed, drawing a line around his lips with her fingertip. He captured her finger in his teeth, squinting his eyes as he pretended to maul her.

  “I can’t wait to have this baby,” she said. “Granted, I’m terrified of being a parent and being responsible for another human for eighteen years, but there are certain things I want to do to you that I can’t do while incubating.”

  He growled, nuzzling her neck and kissing a trail to her shoulder.

  “Time to get some sleep, sweet cakes. You’ve tempted me enough.”

  She rolled over, pushing her rear into his groin.

  “Not cool. Not cool at all.”

  He massaged her hip and outer thigh until she fell asleep.

  Karly’s dreams took an erotic turn. In her dreams, she could do anything she wanted with Ben with no restrictions.

  Everything felt delicious in her dream, including the warm rush of fluid between her thighs.

  She moaned, enjoying every second.

  Someone shook her awake, jerking her out of this fantasy world. As the panic in Ben’s voice registered in her foggy mind, a crippling pain spread through her belly.

  “Karly, you’re bleeding. A lot.”

  She looked under the blanket and let out a panicked screech.

  “What the hell?”

  “I don’t know—I woke up because I felt wet.”

  “Oh my god.” She felt all the blood drain from her face as she looked at the spreading puddle on her bed. “I don’t feel the baby move. Ben, I don’t feel the baby!”

  “Shh, relax, baby. I’m calling the ambulance. You’re going to be okay.”

  She sat up in the bed, clutching her belly and begging every god she had ever heard of to save her baby.

  Ben stripped out of his bloody boxers and slipped into the jeans he left by the side of the bed as he waited for the dispatcher to take the information.

  “Sing that song you sing to the baby,” he instructed.

  She took a deep breath, feeling more and more light-headed. From panic or blood loss, she didn’t know.

  She swallowed her fear and closed her eyes, gripping her belly as though her touch could save her baby.

  She started humming an old show tune, the one that always got the baby moving around.

  “It’s not working. Oh god, Ben.” Her voice tripped over her tears.

  “Sing it. Don’t hum it.”

  She squeaked out the words, surprised that she could even remember them.

  “The ambulance is on its way.” He crawled into the bed, putting his arm around her and pulling her gently to his shoulder. “Sing, baby.”

  He hummed off-key while she struggled to get the words past her choked up voice.

  “I felt her move, Ben.”

  “Good girl. Now keep singing.”

  She sang while Quentin Elliott, the town’s main paramedic and Savannah’s new husband, helped her to the ambulance. She sang while he monitored her heart rate and the heart rate of her baby. She sang while Ben yelled at the driver about going over the bumps in the road, and while Quentin assured Ben that they were all going to be okay.

  “I won’t let you lose your child,” Quentin promised. “This is the exact reason why I do this job.”

  Karly believed him.

  Ben rubbed her feet as they drove, since Quentin took up the small space near her upper body.

  “Ben, if there’s a choice between saving the baby or saving me, save the baby.”

  “Don’t talk like that. Quentin, why is she so white?”

  “She’s going to need blood. She’s losing too much.”

  “I haven’t been tanning for ages,” she joked, feeling her head fall to the side. “Promise me.”

  “No.”

  “Ben. You have to promise me.” She licked her lips. They were so dry, so quickly chapped. “Can I ha
ve water, please?”

  “Sorry, no fluids for you until the doctor looks at you,” Quentin explained.

  “Ben.”

  “Karly—stop. Just stop. You’re going to be fine. The baby’s going to be fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Then it shouldn’t be a big deal to promise me.”

  “I can’t promise that.”

  “Ben.” Her chest shook, but no tears would come. “Baby comes first.”

  She closed her eyes as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. She could feel the blood clots sliding out of her body.

  “Why won’t you agree?” She thought she shouted, but her voice sounded small in her ears.

  “Because I don’t know the baby, but I know you. I want you both. But I refuse to lose you!”

  She moved her head to the side, terrified that she didn’t have someone to fight for her baby.

  “Quentin, please tell the doctors that my wish is to save the baby.”

  Quentin nodded.

  “Karly, don’t do that. Don’t say that.” Ben sounded desperate, and his grip on her ankle tightened.

  “I love my baby, Ben. I want her to survive.”

  “And I love you, dammit!”

  “What did you just say?” She tried to sit up, but Quentin pushed her back down. “Wait, say that again.”

  “You heard me. If you want to hear it again, you’ll have to get better.”

  She smiled, reaching her hand out. His fingertips touched hers, and then she blacked out, sinking into the dark abyss.

  ***

  “What happened to her, Quentin? Wake her the hell up!”

  Quentin didn’t respond as he adjusted an IV bag and radioed a bunch of codes to the hospital.

  As soon as they pulled into the ambulance bay, a team waited to move her in.

  “You’ll have to wait out here,” someone shouted to him as they pushed her through a set of double doors.

  “No. I’m staying with her.”

  “No can do. You’re not married and we don’t have her consent to have you in there. We need to work quick.”

  The doors slammed on Ben’s face. He bunched his hands into fists, prepared to punch his way through if he had to.

  Before he could do anything, Jenkins was pulling him away.