Two Is a Lonely Number

by Amanda Torrey

  “Come on, man. Let’s not do anything stupid.”

  “Stupid? How is being with the mother of my child stupid?”

  “Let the doctors do their work. Come on, they have some really lousy coffee over here.”

  “I don’t want coffee.”

  “Sure you do.” Jenkins pulled Ben away from the doors and into the waiting room.

  “I tried to get her to marry me. Over and over.”

  “You love her then?”

  Ben scowled at Jenkins.

  Jenkins let out a low whistle as he stared at the floor.

  “No wonder she didn’t accept.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ben demanded.

  “It means, if you want to marry the girl, you’ve gotta show her you love her. With all your suave charm and shit, I thought you woulda known that.”

  Ben scowled again, rubbing his temples to ward off the pounding headache.

  “I want us to be a family,” Ben mumbled.

  “Sorry, man, you’re not my type.”

  “Not the time for jokes.”

  “My bad. Just tryin’ to lighten the mood.”

  They sat in silence for what seemed like eternity. Every time the doors swung open, Ben leapt out of his seat only to be disappointed when someone else was called.

  “Ben Knight?”

  Finally.

  He made his way over to the person with the clipboard.

  “She’s asking for you.”

  “She’s okay?”

  “Come and see for yourself.”

  Ben hurried into the patient area, heart pounding. The nurse pointed at a door and encouraged him to enter.

  Relief flooded him when Karly smiled as he walked through the door. Hooked up to an IV, she looked a thousand times better than she had in the ambulance.

  “Always going for the drama, huh?”

  She laughed. “What I wouldn’t give for a hard drink right about now. Or any drink for that matter.”

  “When this baby is born, I’ll buy you your favorite bottle. Want me to grab you some water?”

  “Can’t. I’m under strict orders not to drink anything. They gave me a wet towel, but they quickly took it away when I started sucking the water out of it.”

  She laughed, but he cringed.

  “Did they say you’re all right?”

  “They gave me three units of blood. I’m still bleeding, but my blood pressure isn’t that of a vampire anymore. I’m on the watch-and-see list. Cute interns looking at my sweet stuff, though. Kind of humiliating.”

  The urge to hunt down the interns and smack them was strong, but he reminded himself that looking at her body was their job. One he appreciated if it kept her and the baby alive.

  “Karly, we need to talk.”

  “You sound so morose. If you’re wanting to break up, let me remind you that we’re not together.”

  “That’s the problem. I don’t want to be just the sperm donor. Or just the father. I want to be your husband.”

  “No you don’t, Ben.”

  “Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want!”

  “Keep your voice down. Geez!”

  “No. You need to hear me. We’re having a baby together, and I wasn’t allowed to come in with you because we’re not married.”

  “You’re in with me now…”

  “Karly—stop being so stubborn. Put your pride aside and hear what I’m saying to you. I love you. I want to be with you. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you or the baby and of me being an outsider. Look at me!”

  He knew he had to rein it in, but she was pissing him off. He was hurt, he was worried, and he was desperate for her to agree.

  If anything happened to their baby—God forbid—he wanted to have the right to hold Karly. To soothe her. To comfort her and protect her.

  “You may not believe it, but this relationship is not hinging on the baby. Sure, the pregnancy forced us together. But I want you. As stubborn and irritating as you are, I can’t stand being away from you.”

  “So romantic,” she muttered, but tears welled in her eyes and her cheeks reddened—a welcome contrast to her otherwise stark white pallor.

  Goddamned tears slipped out of his eyes.

  He had never imagined wanting to propose to a woman—he loved the idea of lifetime bachelorhood. He most certainly wouldn’t have wanted it this way. He would have pulled out all of the stops—seduction, charm. She would have been unable to say no.

  But this went beyond any cliché. This was fucking real.

  He had to have her. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

  She stared at him as he experienced the most intense pain of his life. Worse than his mother abandoning him. Worse than the abuse he had endured in foster care. Worse than being kicked out in the middle of winter. Worse than having to care for his estranged mother in her old age. Worse than having the old woman scream at him in her demented haze every time he tried to help. Worse than having to come to terms with the fact that he had passed along his shitty genes.

  “Ben, please don’t. Please, please don’t.”

  “You do crazy things to me, Karly.”

  “I can see that.” She smiled, but tears slipped into the corner of her mouth.

  “Marry me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  Did he hear her right?

  “Yeah. How could I say no when you’re begging me so much?”

  He laughed and rushed to her side, sweeping her into his arms and lavishing her teary face with every ounce of love he hadn’t known he had to offer.

  “Ouch, you’re pulling my IV.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Kiss me.”

  That was one command he didn’t mind obeying.

  Her lips were dry and chapped, but he didn’t care. To him, she was a goddess. He’d have to work a lifetime to prove he was deserving of her greatness.

  “I’m calling a Justice of the Peace right now. We’ll be married today.”

  “Today?” Her voice squeaked.

  Was she already having second thoughts?

  “I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind.”

  She nodded. Then broke into a grin.

  “Can you call Ava and have her get her ass down here to bring me something blue? Can’t get married without my BFF.”

  His heart nearly exploded.

  “I’ll be right back.” He paused at the door and pointed at her. “You’re not allowed to change your mind.”

  She smiled and clutched her belly—the picture of maternal love.

  He was a lucky bastard.

  Things lined up perfectly. He tracked down a Justice of the Peace who was willing to come in on short notice and who could take care of the marriage license. Ava, though frantic with worry, trusted him enough to know that Karly was okay and that she could take her time getting here.

  He was getting married.

  No fanfare, nothing romantic whatsoever, not even a ring, but she would be his wife and that’s all that mattered.

  He’d make up for the lack of all that other stuff later. When she was his.

  When they were a family.

  Holy shit, he was going to have a family!

  He remembered one of his roommates from a group home he had been placed in when he was thirteen. The boy practically exploded with excitement over being chosen for adoption.

  The roommate left, promising Ben that he’d be next. Ben never believed it. He didn’t believe in happy endings. He had never been given a reason.

  Now he was given a reason. A beautiful, lively, spirited reason.

  That boy, however, was returned to the group home three weeks later. The couple had changed their mind. The boy had done nothing wrong, but he died that day. Not biological death, but emotional death.

  Ben did a little, too.

  He felt like today he was being reborn. He wished he had kept in touch with that other kid. How he’d love to show h
im that he had been right to stay optimistic—that no matter what shit was hurled at a person, they could still come out clean.

  As Ben approached Karly’s door, his heart stopped. A team of doctors and nurses surrounded Karly, and they had her bed flat. They were transferring her to a stretcher.

  “What’s going on?”

  “We need you to go back to the waiting room, Mr. Knight.”

  “Karly?” He tried to see around the people, but they may as well have formed a brick wall.

  “We have to take the baby.”

  “Take the baby? What do you mean?”

  “She’s four centimeters dilated and bleeding faster than we can replace it. She’s losing too much blood. I’m sorry, Mr. Knight, but if we don’t deliver the baby now, we could lose them both.”

  Ben fell to the floor on his knees as the group rushed by him.

  He could lose them both.

  He had been right his whole life.

  There was no such thing as a happy ending.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Mommy, mommy. You have to wake up.

  I’m just resting my eyes, sweetie.

  Daddy needs you. I need you.

  You two run along and play. I need to rest for a little bit.

  You promised you’d be a better mommy than your mommy was to you! You said you would raise me with my daddy and always protect me.

  I’m the mom here, you can’t talk to me like that.

  If you don’t wake up, there is no mom! Wake up!

  “Wake up! Karly, please wake up.”

  Ben’s voice jarred her awake. She struggled against the wires and the tubes that linked her to machines.

  “Hush, baby. Relax. Don’t move. You’re hooked up to a bunch of stuff and probably will be in a lot of pain, but the doctors said it was important for you to wake up after the surgery.”

  He leaned over her and kissed her forehead, holding the sides of her head like she was a long-lost piece of treasure washing up on the beach.

  “What—”

  Words wouldn’t emerge. Her throat was too hoarse and dry.

  “Shh, I’ll tell you everything. Just don’t try to get up.”

  She nodded, licking her lips, which accomplished nothing since her tongue was just as dry.

  “Surgery?” She managed to get the word out, but it felt sharp and harsh on her throat and tongue. He needed to talk—she needed to know her baby was okay.

  She reached down to feel her belly. It was smaller, deflated like a shriveled balloon the week after a child’s party.

  Panic welled within her.

  Where did her baby go?

  “It’s okay. The baby is fine. They had to take her out because you were dilating and hemorrhaging. You lost a lot of blood.” Tears welled in Ben’s eyes.

  Her strong, stoic, ever-cheerful Ben. In tears.

  “Her?”

  “Yeah, you were right. We had a girl. God, Karly. She’s beautiful. Tiny, but as pretty as you.”

  “I want to see.”

  “I’ll get the nurse, but I think you should wait to heal a bit.”

  “No.” She struggled to rise, wincing at the pain.

  “Karly, if you injure yourself it will be longer before you can take care of her.”

  “Too early. Is she… okay?”

  “She’s small, but the doctors and nurses are impressed with her size. She’s just over five pounds. Seventeen inches long. She’s breathing on her own, but they gave her CPAP to help keep her lungs inflated.”

  Karly squeezed her eyes shut, not even bothering to fight the tears that poured out.

  “I need to see her.”

  At that moment, a nurse came in.

  “Well you gave us quite the scare, Mrs. Knight.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Not yet,” Ben interrupted. “But she will be very soon.”

  The nurse laughed. “Good to see you awake. That baby of yours is a keeper. You want to see?”

  Karly nodded ferociously.

  The nurse pulled a Polaroid picture out of the pocket of her scrubs. Karly grabbed it greedily, shocked at the level of emotion that hit her upon seeing her child for the first time.

  “She’s beautiful.” Karly’s breath came out ragged as she struggled to regain her composure. “She’s so beautiful.”

  “She sure is. And she needs her mommy. So let’s get you feeling one hundred percent.”

  Ben stood to the side as the nurse examined Karly.

  “How does she look?” he asked, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

  “Looking great,” the nurse responded.

  “When can I see her in person?” Karly prayed for the answer to be “soon.”

  “I’d say we could get you down there by tonight if your vitals stay as beautiful as they are now.”

  “Thank you!” Karly wiped her tears away with the heel of her palm. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s doing well. She’ll need some time in the NICU—that’s the neonatal intensive care unit—to be sure she can handle being out in the world on her own, but I don’t imagine she’ll be here long. Now let’s get you moved into a real room.”

  The nurse got her settled into a regular patient room since the surgical anesthesia had worn off. She left after sharing some reassuring words and encouraging smiles.

  “That nurse didn’t leave your side the whole time. I’ve never seen a more committed nurse.” Ben grasped Karly’s hand. “And she let me in to see you as soon as you were out of surgery. I’ll have to buy her a big gift.”

  Ben winked. God, how she loved that wink.

  “You scared the hell out of everyone.”

  Karly didn’t know what to say, so she turned her head away and stared at the wall.

  “I have the Justice of the Peace on standby, so whenever you’re ready, just say the word.”

  Karly turned toward him. So all of that really happened? When she regained consciousness, she hadn’t been sure what had been real and what had happened in her traumatized mind.

  He wanted to marry her.

  “Ben, if the baby doesn’t make it…” She choked on her words.

  “Hush. She’s strong. Look at her mother. She’ll more than make it.” He grabbed her hand and held on tight.

  “But if she doesn’t,” Karly stumbled over the words. They were too painful to even imagine. “I don’t want you to be stuck in a marriage you never wanted when there isn’t even a baby to anchor you. I couldn’t do that to you.”

  “Didn’t you hear any of what I said before?”

  He rested his forehead on her lap, trapping her hand under him. With her free hand, the one with the needle taped to her vein, she rubbed his head.

  “Karly. Our baby is going to be fine—better than fine. She’ll probably rule the world someday. But even if we went back through time and didn’t conceive a child, I’d want you. I don’t know how you managed to tame me, but I might as well be castrated.”

  “You’d better not be castrated,” she said, horrified at the prospect.

  “Bad analogy.”

  “You think?” She smiled in spite of the horror of the day.

  “Point is, no matter what, I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I want to massage you every day, I want to make you breakfast, I want to suffer through art museums and ballets—”

  “Suffer?” Her voice squeaked out as high-pitched as a mouse.

  He laughed.

  “For you, anything. And having our child by our side will make it all even better. We’ll be the Three Musketeers.”

  “I have to admit, I like the sounds of that.”

  As he leaned over to kiss her, a knock sounded on the door.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but what the heck?” Ava rushed over, clutching a gift bag and a duffel bag in her shaking hands. “You’re not supposed to have a baby before a baby shower!”

  “Oh, crap. We have none of the big stuff.” Eyes wide, she looked at Ben. “We don’t even have a crib.�
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  “That’s okay, I’ll make some calls. We’d have to move it all over to my place, anyway.”

  Ava grinned like the village idiot.

  “We haven’t discussed the living arrangements. This is happening way too fast.”

  “Oh no you don’t, young lady,” Ava admonished. “Ben, go get that JP. We have to move fast before she changes her mind.”

  “I see you two are now conspiring against my spinsterhood.”

  Ben grinned like he had just walked in on a group of naked ladies dancing. Ava dug through her purse for a brush and make-up, which she started using on Karly as she kicked Ben out of the room.

  “You can’t see the bride before the wedding.”

  “Ava…” they muttered in unison.

  “Shoo.”

  When they were alone, Ava burst into tears.

  “I was so worried about you.”

  She hugged Karly tight, sniffling into her shoulder as she leaned over the bed.

  A moment later, she pulled away, wiping the tears from her face and taking several deep breaths.

  “Okay, now that that ugliness is out of the way, let’s get you bride-worthy.”

  “Ava…”

  “Don’t you ‘Ava’ me. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to be your Maid of Honor. I will take my role seriously.”

  Ava picked up the duffel bag she had dropped on the floor and placed it on the chair beside the bed. She rifled through the contents, pulling out a brush and a pile of make-up.

  “They must have told you how atrocious I looked. You came prepared.”

  “Hush, you. You look gorgeous as always. I just thought a little beauty product would help you feel better after the trauma you’ve endured.”

  In an obvious-to-her-best-friend attempt to hide her fear and sorrow, Ava babbled on about stuff going on in her classroom and in town as she gently detangled Karly’s mess of hair. She offered Karly a mint, which Karly gratefully accepted.

  Ava struggled to get into a comfortable position in front of Karly, leaning over awkwardly to apply Karly’s make-up.

  “I can do that,” Karly offered, trying to grab the make-up from Ava’s hands.

  “Oh no you don’t. My job.”

  When she was done painting Karly’s face, Ava leaned back and smiled.

  “Make-up application isn’t my thing, but I have to say, you look like you’re ready for a fashion shoot for a bride magazine.”