Guiding Lights

by Jessica Florence

  “Easy there, tiger.” Aggie teased while I devoured them. I simply shrugged; she knew the effect her biscuits had on me. I ate silently the rest of the meal, and looked up just as I finished, to see Wolfe coming down the stairs with my pack. It held a few outfits, toiletries, and my new kindle. The essentials. Before I’d finished packing, I had hidden most of my cash in a little pocket that I’d made so no one could find it. I always had to be prepared, just in case.

  “Almost done?” he asked and grabbed a piece of bacon and shoved it in his mouth. Animal. Bacon should be cherished, not scarfed down.

  “Yep, let me just use the bathroom and make sure I have everything.” I took my plate into the kitchen, giving it a little scrub before heading upstairs. After using the bathroom, I double-checked that I had everything I needed. This little room had become my favorite out of all the places I had stayed. There were so many memories of reading, peaceful nights, and Wolfe.

  After that first night of exploration, we hadn’t been able to contain ourselves. Still no sex, but I had started to feel like I could make that an option. If I was truly honest with myself, I had planned to try during this trip. It was romantic and felt right.

  Whether I would go through with my little plan was still up in the air. I knew it would all depend on how things went. Realizing I had everything, with one last look at my sweet room, I gripped the doorknob and went down stairs to Wolfe.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Our ride was uneventful, and with about thirty minutes left in the drive, I was getting giddy.

  “So are we heading to the games first, or are we checking into a hotel?” He had yet to tell me the plans. We were staying in Portree for the weekend, and I wanted to make the most of it.

  “We will go tae the games for a bit, then Ah am doing a show for a friend tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows. I would get to hear him sing tonight; I wondered what he would sing tonight. The Kiss song? Something different.

  “Awesome. Any other plans for the weekend?” I was curious if he wanted to do anything else. I knew we would spend most of tomorrow at the games and probably be tired after all of that walking around.

  “Aye, one other thing,” he said mysteriously. I looked at him and my eyes narrowed, giving him the tell me glare.

  “Nope, mah lips are sealed.” He mimed zipping up his lips. I continued to give him the glare, but he didn’t falter. He just grinned a big cheesy smile, keeping his plans to himself.

  We listened to an Elvis cd and I watched the countryside pass by. We chatted here and there. We’d stopped off so I could run in and pee, and then I would snuggle up against him in the rusty old truck for a few minutes before I went back to my side.

  “Eeek! I just saw the sign for the games!” I squealed. We were so close! I gripped the scarf Wolfe had gotten me and wrapped it nice and snug around my neck. We pulled into the parking area and fought to find a spot. Once we found one, I leapt out of the car and not so patiently waited for Wolfe to join me. It seemed to take a snail’s pace before he finally got out of the car and made his way to me. I was practically jumping up and down.

  “Alright, ye crazy lassie, let’s get ye tae the games.” He wrapped his hand in mine and we started toward the entrance.

  “Yes! Look at all of these hot men in kilts,” I said, trying to rile him up a bit. He took the bait. His arms scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder. A yelp escaped when he popped my ass in punishment.

  “Ye want a Scotsman in a kilt my wee lassie? Only kilt ye will be lifting up is mine,” he growled. I bit my lip trying to keep myself from laughing. The truth was I loved to rile him up like this. Making him growl made me feel like I was his, and I loved that.

  “Alright you crazy man, let me down!” I smacked his butt, and he slowly slid me down his body until I was standing completely flush against him. I was going to say something about behavior in public, but he shut me up by kissing me. Afterward, he threw a hat on and pulled his sunglasses down. I just shook my head; it really wasn’t that bright out. He looked like a hermit with his hat and beard hanging out. A hot hermit, I would give him that.

  We walked over to the big crowd and watched as a few competitors tossed hay over the bar. I laced my fingers with Wolfe and we watched the competition. Both of us picked guys to root for and cheered when they did well and yelled at them when they didn’t do as well.

  Wolfe got us some drinks and turkey legs as a snack; we enjoyed spending this time together. It was nice how comfortable we had become around each other. We watched the competitors for an hour then walked off to see some of the other things the games had to offer. I dragged Wolfe to the dog show so I could pet a puppy and get puppy kisses. He just watched me with a smile on his face.

  After the dogs, we passed some of the bagpipe bands playing traditional Scottish music. Some dancers, dressed in character, were dancing and floating around each other. The atmosphere was so happy and festive.

  Our last stop was looking around the vendors. Some had handmade leather gear and swords. Others had clothing, jewelry, and children’s toys. I looked over each table, seeing if I wanted anything. Nothing stood out to me so I just kept walking, but then my arm was yanked out of its socket when Wolfe didn’t move forward with me. I turned and looked at him in confusion. He was staring intently at this table with a bearded man smoking a pipe, his other hand sitting on his large belly.

  “What can I help you two with?” He had a British accent. I looked up at Wolfe, waiting for him to speak because I had no clue why we’d stopped here.

  “The star,” he said. I followed his finger to the display behind the man but couldn’t see what he was looking at.

  “Ah, very fine choice. He turned around, grabbed a piece of jewelry, and held it out for Wolfe to see it. I moved forward to see it, but Wolfe snatched the box from the man’s hand before I could get a peek.

  “Hey, let me see,” I whined. He ignored me and asked the man how much.

  “Just sign this piece of paper here, and one hundred it’s yours.” The man smiled and pointed to a piece of paper to his right. The man needing his signature seemed a little weird, but maybe he needed it to keep track of what he’d sold. Wolfe pulled out his wallet and gave the man some money.

  “Thank you, my grandkid will love this. You enjoy your gift.” He winked at me and nodded at Wolfe. I was confused, but my attention quickly turned to trying to figure out what the hell Wolfe had just bought.

  “Are you gonna let me see it?” I asked bluntly, no reason to beat around the bush. He stuck it in his pocket and gave me his signature shit eating grin.

  “Nope,” he replied. Well, I knew at some point that he would give it to me, so I wouldn’t be left in the dark for long.

  “Alright, let’s go grab some dinner. Ah know a good place not tae far from here.” He changed the subject and gave me a kiss before leading us back to old rusty.

  We left before the departing traffic got heavy. He drove about six miles down the road and turned off down a long dirt road that ended in front of a wooden cabin. I looked at him in confusion.

  “Are we safe here?” I had to ask; this place looked a little sketchy. Why would someone put a restaurant out here? Maybe they were cannibals. He got out without a word and stood outside the truck waiting for me. Daring me to be brave. I was unsure about this.

  “I think I’ll just stay in here.” I chose the pansy route. His lips were a straight line, obviously trying to hide his amusement at me hiding in the car. He strolled over to my side and opened the door.

  “Come on, Nera. Ah promise Ah will keep ye safe.” He held out his hand, and I reluctantly took it and got out of the truck.

  “I seriously hope this isn’t the diner. Where are the other people?” I voiced my unease aloud. He simply laughed and we walked toward the secluded cabin that I hoped was not full of dead people.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Once we were up the five steps and on the porch, Wolfe opened the door. I looked around before
stepping in and was extremely surprised.

  “You liar! This is just a normal cabin; it’s not a diner.”

  “Welcome tae Wolfe’s Diner. Come, sit at yer reserved table.” He gestured to a wooden table that was strangely all set up with lit candles, plates, the whole works. He’d pulled out all of the stops.

  “Wolfe,” I whispered in awe. He’d done all of this for me. The love I felt grew warmer in my heart. He was wooing me. When he put his mind to something, he didn’t half-ass it. He took pity on me and hugged me. I squeezed him back, trying to express everything I felt. At least, I hope it came through that way.

  “Now, let’s eat and then relax before we gotta head tae the bar.” We walked over to the table and he sat me down. He strolled off toward the kitchen and I took that moment to soak in the cabin. It was completely open. The kitchen, living room, and dining were all exposed to each other. A set of stairs, to the right of the door, led up to a loft that probably held the only bedroom. The cabin wasn’t huge, but it was perfect. Warm tingles shot all up and down my body, along with a few little butterflies in my stomach.

  Wolfe came back holding a pitcher of water and some red wine. I laughed; my woodsman was really going all out. He filled our glasses, grabbed our plates, and then returned with them full of food.

  “How did you do all of this? I know you didn’t cook this.” I gestured to the plate of lasagna and garlic bread before me.

  “Mah other woman set it up for me,” he teased, and I found myself trying to figure out what he meant. His other woman?

  “Mah maw. She baked the lasagna and got everything ready for us. This is a family cabin,” he confessed. The smile on my face had never been this big before.

  “Now dig in,” he said, stabbing the pasta with his fork. I took a sip of my wine and then took a bite of my own. I groaned in delight. It was amazing.

  “Ok, next time you see your mom, make sure you tell her she is a goddess.” We quickly made work of our meal and then settled on the couch for a breather. We watched some cooking show on TV and cuddled in silence. This was nice, just being here alone with him. We weren’t sharing a house full of other people; if I wanted to kiss him out in the open, no one would be staring at us. Wolfe went out to grab our bags and took them up to the bedroom while I went to freshen up a bit.

  While washing my face, a big emotional ball crashed down on my parade. Would I have sex with him tonight? I had been thinking about it, but I was starting to feel nervous. God, would he really want me still if he knew everything about me? I looked down and saw my hands starting to shake.

  I’d been feeling good about us; I really didn’t want my freaking mind to screw it up, but could I really look past everything and just do what I wanted? Could I have sex with him before I’d told him all my secrets? There were so many questions running through my head when strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close.

  Wolfe did the one thing he could for me. He gave me no room to be in my own head. I was in the whirlwind only he created.

  “Let’s get this sweet arse of yers moving.” He kissed my cheek, scooped me up into his arms, and walked us toward the door.

  The ArchAngel pub was not huge, but it had a bigger crowd than the Spurtle. It seemed that Wolfe liked to stick to the smaller pubs to sing in. It was weird; you would think he wanted to work the bigger ones, but when I suggested it, he just said he wasn’t ready to go there yet. I shook off his answer as we walked through the crowd.

  “Hey, there he is!” A young man with short black hair and blue eyes came up to us, giving Wolfe a manly hug. When he pulled back, he eyed me up and down then smiled.

  “This her?” he asked and I totally blushed. Wolfe had been talking about me?

  “Aye. Dustin, meet Nera.” Dustin held out his hand and I lifted mine to meet his. He was good looking and was eyeing me like I was an anomaly, someone he couldn’t believe he was meeting. Wolfe and Dustin jumped into conversation about when he was up on the set list.

  “He put me up next.” He leaned in and kissed me. His hat was back on and I found myself wanting to rip it off and ensnare my fingers in his smooth hair.

  His kiss was short but still made my toes curl.

  “Have a seat by the bar and keep yer eyes on me,” he said before walking off toward the stage. I made my way to the bar and ordered a beer while looking around at the crowd. I wondered if they knew what they were in for when Wolfe opened his mouth. They were about to be entranced and held captive by his voice. I nursed my beer while waiting for him to take the stage, and as soon as the current band sang their last note, I was primed and ready for Wolfe.

  Everyone in the pub cheered the band as they left, and they patiently waited for the next musician. I was so excited for him; he deserved to be heard by so many people. His words and songs changed lives. Especially mine.

  I watched him with pride in my eyes as he walked onto the stage with his old acoustic guitar. I knew it would be another simple song. I was eager to hear this one. A foreshadowing knot of fear began to settle inside me. I had the feeling the words he was about to sing would be a game changer.

  I took a sip of my beer and looked at the crowd waiting for him to sing. I saw plenty of women staring at him as if he was their next meal. He was wearing what I had become accustomed to as his normal look. Boots, jeans, and a long sleeve grey sweater with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. The only thing out of place was that stupid hat.

  “Oo he is hot,” the woman next to me groaned. I turned toward her and looked back at Wolfe.

  Feeling possessive, I leaned over and whispered. “I hear he is totally gay.” He could tease me about it later if he found out. I held back a smile when I saw her face fall. Yeah, I went there; he was mine.

  His breath on the mic invaded my mind and I snapped my attention back to him. As with every song I’ve seen him sing before, his eyes were closed. He hummed against the mic; I’ve decided it was his way of calming himself before baring his heart and soul to the crowd. I watched his perfect face, waiting for the moment I knew would come. He started playing simple notes on his guitar, and then his eyes flew up and met mine.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  You have no peace, can’t even sleep

  Your demons chase you every day and night

  I can’t protect you from your dreams

  Or promise things will be all right

  This was a new song, and at the look in his eyes, I felt a sliver of fear creep up inside me. I was afraid of what I was about to feel. Something was definitely different about this song and him. He was looking at me while he strummed harder on the guitar. He was sending me a message with this one. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what that message was.

  But darling I

  Promise you’ll survive

  I’ll keep your heart alive

  And make sure our love will thrive

  And darling you

  I know you’ll see this through

  You’re beautiful, strong, and true

  I’m not one to make promises

  But I will for you

  My heart soared before it fell hard. Tears gathered in my eyes, and I watched him while he took them in. Singing his heart out. For me.

  You toss and turn; my stomach churns

  At the thought of losing you one more time

  Don’t ever forget I’m your safety net

  When you only see darkness, turn on the light

  Darling, I’m your light

  But darling I

  Promise you’ll survive

  I’ll keep your heart alive

  And make sure our love will thrive

  And darling you

  I know you’ll see this through

  You’re beautiful, strong, and true

  I’m not one to make promises

  But I will for you

  Just carry me with you wherever you go

  Only after a storm do you see a rainbow

  But darling I

  Pr
omise you’ll survive

  I’ll keep your heart alive

  And make sure our love will thrive

  And darling you

  I know you’ll see this through

  You’re beautiful, strong, and true

  I’m not one to make promises

  But I will for you

  And just like that, I ran out of that pub. I knew he would come after me, and I knew it wouldn’t take him long to catch up, but I had to run. I’d had that stupid feeling and I had been right. This one was a game changer.

  Wolfe was in love with me too. I wanted to run up there and kiss him with everything I had, but he couldn’t love me. I was too dirty and broken for him. I’d given it a shot, and I had been happy. But I’d also known that it couldn’t last.

  “Ah said no more fucking running, Nera.” He was behind me and I slowed. Finally, coming to a stop, I couldn’t turn around and face him.

  “Ye said ye wouldn’t run. What the fuck are ye doing?” He was livid. I still said nothing, I just looked out at the landscape of the mountains ahead. I had stopped on the outside of a field behind the pub.

  “Aye, ye keep yerself so locked up in that head of yers. What do ye think it is that is going tae scare me off? Cause Ah can tell ye now, nothing will. Not even ye running. That just pisses me off.” Fuck it. I turned so quickly, I almost gave myself whiplash.

  “You wanna know? You wanna fucking know? Fine, I’ll tell you, that way you can run along and leave me to my misery. Just like I know you are going to do.” I challenged him. He would be the one to run then.

  I was finally going to tell him. I was throwing everything to the wind and ripping this Band-Aid off right now. I was going to feel shattered when he left, so it really didn’t matter if it happened now or later. I was already in too deep. I think I always was, even in the beginning. I stared him right in the eyes, taking in his angry face. I already had his face memorized, but I just needed to seal it in my memory before he left.