Pink Ice

by Carolina Soto

  I was in the middle of a crisis, but I needed to put myself together. I needed to focus on the big guy that requested my comfort in that moment. When I finally calmed down, I knew I needed to talk to Big Guy. “Could you bring in Joe now?” Dylan kissed my head and left the room.

  They came back in a second, Joe had to be outside waiting for us to be in so fast. He stopped by the door looking at me; my terrible appearance and the way I was connected to a thousand machines destroyed him, I knew it. He walked slowly to me, and even when I was smiling, his face was sad. He came to my side and kneeled next to me to be at eye level. “Joe! I am so happy to see you.”

  “Ms. Bianchi.” His voice said all the things that his body had already announced. He was looking at a living corpse. He took my hand shaking. “I am so sorry Ms. Bianchi. This is all my fault.”

  “What are you talking about Joe?” He looked away and avoided my eyes, but I made an effort to appear as strong as I could. “Joe, that’s stupid, and I know you are smarter than that. The only one driving that car, was me. So I don’t want you to repeat that ever again, not even in your head. Since I met you the only thing you have done is take care of me. I don’t know how to thank you enough. You are my friend and I love you, so no, you are not taking the blame for my mistakes. Ok?”

  His face was so soft for a man that could crush anyone with his fists. He just nodded so I continued. “And I want you to be at your best because I need a favor.”

  “Anything ma’am.”

  Dylan was watching us from the couch, I gave him a quick look and continued. “I need you and Max to take care of Dylan. He must be exhausted after all these days stuck with me. I can’t even be responsible for myself, so I need you to be sure he’s eating and resting. Can you help me with that?” Max, Dylan’s bodyguard and Kevin Costner look alike, was not in the room with us but Joe would inform him of my request.

  Now he was looking straight into my eyes. The machine man became a sweet teddy bear. “Sure, Ms. Bianchi.” He stood up to leave. “I’ll let you rest. I am so happy you are getting better.”

  “Thank you Joe, I really missed you.” Even when you were behind my back every minute without letting me know, backstabbing teddy bear… Dylan stood up, patted his back and let him out. Then he came to me.

  “Thank you for your words to him. He was really worried, Katherine. We all were.” He kissed my hand and continued. “And you don’t need to worry about me. I am just taking care of you, babe.”

  Once I dealt with Big Guy, and expressed my concern for Blue Eyes, I started to cry without any warning. It seemed as if I had just made myself wait until I could cry like a little girl. I knew what was happening, I was mourning the real me after seeing what I had become. Dylan didn’t even need to ask, he knew, he just held me as carefully as he could and waited until I fell asleep. I hated to cry, but my brain was not even interested in my likes or dislikes in that moment.

  My calm nap was interrupted when I felt as if something was being ripped from my arm. A lot of noise and activity woke me up. The mean nurse was being a little more ‘active’ than usual.

  “What’s going on?”

  She didn’t even stop to answer me. “Just making you ready.”

  “For what?”

  “You’re leaving today.” Her voice was angry, definitely not happy for me.

  “What? I thought I had to stay here a little longer.”

  She stopped her duties and I saw the look on her face, definitely not happy. “You are supposed to stay here for at least two more weeks, but that boy of yours…”

  Since she had started to raise her voice I stopped her accusations. “My boy doesn’t have that kind of power, if I am leaving it’s probably because I am better. And I truly don’t care about your opinion, so please stop giving me advice that I am not asking for.” Good job, keep calling him ‘my’ to be officially crazy!

  “No you’re not, you are too weak. And yes, he has that kind of power; ask him how he forced the board to let you leave.”

  That was it, I had been avoiding conflict since I knew my body was still way too weak for my usual fights. But this woman didn’t know when to shut her mouth. “I don’t give a damn’ about who you think you are. You’ve been a pain in my ass in the most difficult days of my life. If ‘my boy’”- I airquoted like a prima donna too drowned in my role to care- “is taking me with him, I couldn’t care less about your fucking opinion. And the board will know about the excellent service their team provide. Please leave, now.” I was pointing to the door, and it took all my strength to control how my arm was shaking.

  I had been really patient with her since I woke up. But I was still me, and controlling my anger was a challenge, even with all the medicines that they had stuck into my system. She took some of the equipment with her and left the room. That was when I noticed that Dylan was not around. After a couple of minutes he came in with a bag in his hands.

  “Good morning, doll.” He was dressed in his grey suit, looking breathtaking and suspiciously happy.

  “Dylan, why does she say that I am leaving?”

  “Because you are.” As always he stated this as if it was obvious to everyone.

  “I was supposed to stay here for a bit longer. I can’t just leave!”

  “Do you remember your promise?” I knew where this was going. “If you don’t want your parents to know about this, you’ll come with me.” No shame, he was smirking.

  “Are you blackmailing me?” Even in my weak state I made myself as defiant as I could, of course it was a lame excuse of defiance, but this was crazy. Destiny had made me its bitch, if I wanted to avoid my beloveds concern, I was going to spend my bed time with this heartbreaking jerk, and not in the fun ‘bed time’ way that I wanted.

  “Do you trust me?” His light mood was becoming much more intense with each passing second.

  I thought about that, weirdly the truth was that even after all, I trusted him with my life. “Of course.”

  My answer relaxed him, even when the intense stare was still there. “I would never let anything happen to you. I am taking you home because I can’t see you like this anymore. I can’t see you laid in a bed 24/7, and to witness how you are losing your strength every second. Not even you could recognize yourself and that scared the hell out of me. In my eyes you are perfect, but all of this has been too much for you. I want you back, the real you, and I think that this place is consuming your life, Katherine.”

  So not softening it a little Berkeley? I nodded, I understood his words and how he was not only protecting me, but himself. And, if I were in real danger the doctors wouldn’t have allowed this. “Take me home.”

  He requested the nurse to help me get dressed, because he didn’t want to hurt my ribs while doing it. I found out that the bag he was carrying was filled with clothes that Joe had picked from my apartment, apparently privacy is not an option when you are a sorry excuse of yourself.

  With my yoga pants and a big sweatshirt, I received the doctors in my room. Again, Dr. Matthews was the one talking to me. “Ms. Bianchi, you are leaving under Mr. Berkeley’s custody. He has assured us that he will make arrangements so you can be supervised every moment of the day. I need to see you every week for the next couple of weeks. Then I will see you once a month and after that every six months, just to be sure you are fine. If you have any symptoms, anything that seems odd, you have to come back as fast as you can. Mr. Berkeley has my contact information and I will be available anytime. Ok?”

  “Thank you Doctor Matthews.”

  “Do you understand this is not the usual procedure and that you are now Mr. Berkeley’s responsibility?”

  Whoa! Those words were a little too much. Other than my parents I had never been anyone’s responsibility. I was trusting my life to a man who wasn’t even dating me, in fact who wasn’t even talking to me for the last month. But then, I trusted him, more than I would like to. When did you become this stupid! “Yes, thank you Dr. Matthews.”

&n
bsp; “Ok then. He has all the instructions and I’ll see you in a week.”

  The nurse and Dylan helped me to stand up, but when I couldn’t and had another crisis about it, he carried me to the wheelchair that was waiting for me. Blue Eyes indicated to Max and Joe that he was the only one pushing the chair for me.

  The light from the street blinded me, I had spent too much time in the hospital. By the time I got into the car I was already tired. Confusion came to me when I opened my eyes after having them closed for a while. I couldn’t figure out where we were going and I started to freak out, but I wanted to corroborate the information before getting upset. “Dylan, where are we going?” My voice was low and my head was laid over Dylan’s shoulder.

  “Home, baby.” He just kissed my forehead and didn’t elaborate any further. I blamed my confused brain for not recognizing the route to my apartment.

  Soon, the voice of sweet Blue Eyes woke me up. He carried me in his arms and walked to a building that I couldn’t recognize. Maybe my brain was really hurt and I couldn’t remember home anymore. Scared I voiced my fears to Dylan. “Dylan, I can’t remember this place.”

  “You’ve never been here, doll. This is my parents’ home.”

  “What are we doing here?” You would never know how five unconscious days can tame your character.

  “Our apartments are too small for all that you need, with such short notice this is the only thing I could get. Don’t worry, it has been closed for ten years, but I sent a crew to clean it up yesterday.”

  He was not kidding, this place was huge, and so empty. Even when it was furnished as if a family lived there, the atmosphere was unfilled. He carried me through the many doors until we arrived to a room that had been turned into a hospital room.

  “This was my parents’ room, doll. We are staying here.” He carefully laid me over the bed.

  “Dylan, I don’t feel comfortable here. May I stay in another room?” This was way too lugubrious, and I knew Dylan was not comfortable with his parents’ memories. There was no way I would stay there.

  “This is the biggest one, we need the space for the equipment.” Two ladies came to the room, one of them knocked on the door to catch our attention. “Katherine, these are Celia and Lorna, they are the nurses that will be taking care of you.”

  Both seemed like nice middle aged ladies, the one with brown hair came to me and I noticed that both had equipment with them. “Really nice to meet you, Ms. Bianchi. Mr. Berkeley told us everything about you and we were really looking forward to meet you.” She took my hand without much ceremony and started placing a new IV in my arm.

  The redhead, Lorna, took a small pad and a pen, and started writing. “Mr. Berkeley, we have to go through the schedule. As we’ve talked, we will take care of her during the day and you’ll do it during the night. I’ve already printed a timetable for you, so you won’t have any problem.” Naughty nurse Berkeley?

  After connecting me, and putting some meds in the IV, Celia turned to Dylan. “We’ll let you get settled.” Both smiled at me and left the room as fast as they had entered.

  “Dylan, you don’t have to take care of me at nights. You have to rest.”

  “I am not letting them enter here in the middle of the night while we are sleeping, doll. So you are stuck with me. I’ll do my best to be a good nurse.” He kissed my head and the only thing I could think was the fact that he wanted to stay with me.

  “Could you bring my phone?” Now that I was out of the hospital I needed to talk to Kevin. My best friend had only received phone calls from Dylan to keep him informed. I also needed to know if Mom and Dad had tried to contact me. Berkeley had already talked to Marc and explained to him about my ‘little accident’. Michelle had gone crazy, and after talking with her for an hour, Dylan convinced her that I was fine and that I only needed a minor surgery.

  “I have to charge yours, but you can use mine.” He gave me his iPhone and I was surprised that a picture of the side of my face was his screensaver. I couldn’t remember when he took it, from the angle you could barely recognize me, but I distinguished my lips and my pearls. The silly teenager apparently living in my stomach was too happy with this.

  Kevin answered on the third ring. “How is she, Berkeley?”

  That was when I realized how much I had missed his voice, how much I had missed him. “She’s fine, baby.”

  “Oh God, Katie, you’re fine.” He stayed speechless for a moment. “I need to see you, tell me where you are and I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  “You are working silly.”

  “Katherine.” He never used my full name, he must have been really angry at me. “You had a big accident and then you disappeared. I am not doing this over the phone, so you better tell me where you are.”

  I couldn’t prolong this any longer. “Dylan will give you the address, ok?” I passed the phone to Blue Eyes and he talked to Kevin. After hanging up he turned to me.

  “Baby, you know he will never believe you once he sees you, right?”

  He was right, but I couldn’t do it any other way if I wanted them to think I was fine. “We’ll stick to that version, ok?” He didn’t answer, just kissed my forehead. That’s when it hit me. He had never kissed me properly since I left his apartment that terrible day. It was odd, but I decided to blame it on my weak state and the fact he was trying to be as careful with me as he could.

  Faithful to his word, Kevin was at the door in a couple of minutes. Even though he worked on Wall Street, he came in record time. I heard his voice talking to Dylan while walking towards the room, so I tried to arrange myself to look as healthy and presentable as I could.

  “How did you become this close to Katherine?” Dylan’s voice was a little harsh for the literally five seconds they had been talking. Apparently they stopped outside the door because even when I could hear them, I couldn’t see them.

  “When I came to live here, we were fifteen, and she was the only girl who was not jumping over me in school. I decided there that we would be friends, she couldn’t care less about me; so I knew I could trust her. She has always been like this Berkeley, and it has just made me love her more.”

  I didn’t pay attention to Dylan’s answer because they were already moving. Kevin entered the room first and stopped, mimicking Joe’s reaction the first time he saw me. But my friend didn’t need to keep the ‘security guy’ appearances, he was even more affected. His eyes were full of tears and soon one of them was rolling down his face.

  “Hello, hottie.” I tried to talk as always, smile as always, and be a tough cookie as always.

  “Princess.” He couldn’t talk anymore. He wasn’t ashamed of crying, he was too overwhelmed to care.

  “I am fine, Kev. The hospital time made me a little weak, but I was released and I’ll be perfect soon.” My words didn’t match the way I looked. Dylan was staring at us from a couch that was located in the corner of the room, shaking his head. Stop judging me Berkeley!

  Kevin walked slowly to me. “May I touch you? Or I could hurt you?” His voice was wary, he even seemed to be walking slowly.

  “Have you ever asked for permission to touch a girl, Kev? Of course you can touch me!” I saw how Dylan was fighting with himself, he wanted to stop Kevin. He knew that I could be hurt quite easily, but I needed to make him believe I was alright.

  Kevin walked to the side of my bed, kissed my cheek and took my hand in his. “I’ve been missing you, sweetheart. I need you back in the apartment soon; you know I can’t live without you.”

  I cleaned one of the tears that was falling down his cheek. “Soon, Mr. Overprotective here”- I pointed to Dylan- “wanted to keep an eye on me for a bit longer, and since his apartment is being renovated we have to stay here.”

  “Can I come to see you?”

  “Kev, you are my brother, you can come whenever you want! You don’t need permission to see me.” My heart was breaking again. Your heart is breaking all the time lately, laaame. I could only imagi
ne the fear my poor friend had been through the last days.

  He turned around to see if Dylan was paying attention and lowered his voice. “Are you ok with him taking care of you?”

  We had been friends for ten years, he knew I couldn’t be that comfortable depending on someone else. “Yes, he’s been awesome. And you know what mamma says, I need humbling experiences in my life.” And this has been the biggest of my damn’ life.

  “The question is, who of you two is having that experience.” I knew Dylan, he was listening. But the truth was that Berkeley had been perfect during the moments when I needed him the most.

  “We both are paying for our vanities baby, we both are.” The little smile on Dylan’s mouth warmed my heart, but more important matters were waiting. Clearing my throat a little, trying to make it look as casual as a brick I asked my first concern. “Kev, have my parents called?”

  “No, princess, but you have to talk to them. This is important and they need to know.” If Dylan says ‘I told you so’, I’ll kick his ass!

  “I know, I just wanted to wait until I was out of the hospital, so they don’t worry.”

  “We love you, we can worry, that’s what we do.” Just what Dylan had said.

  Blue Eyes, wearing his tight, faded jeans and a white V-neck shirt, not that I thought he looked cute as hell, walked to us and put his arm around Kevin’s shoulder. “Kevin, Katherine needs some rest, but would you like to have lunch with me?” My knight in shining armor. He knew this was a difficult topic and came to my rescue.

  “Thank you man, but I can’t, I have to go back to the office. I have a meeting, but I really needed to see Katie. Please take care of her.”

  “That’s my job, Kevin, I will always take care of her.” My heart beat faster, Dylan wanted to take care of me. I never thought I would require someone to take care of me, but in that moment, when I needed it, he wanted to do it.

  Kevin said goodbye promising to visit every day until I could get back to our apartment. While Dylan walked him out, I noticed how Kevin lowered his voice and asked him. “Is it me or is she kinder after the accident?”