Without Hesitation

by CJ Azevedo

  When the tired waitress came to take their orders, Grey told Macie to go ahead and order first, then he ordered enough food for an army. Once they were alone again, he asked that they get through their breakfast before he filled her in on their plans.

  “Eye for an eye?” Macie asked after swallowing down some ice-cold water.

  “Tit for tat,” Greyden answered breezily.

  “Whatever. Are you game?”

  He watched her for a minute without saying a word before finally nodding his consent.

  “Honesty is the best policy. Always. Got it?” Raising her eyebrows, she discovered that she didn’t have any more nerves. Somewhere between revealing her embarrassing first date fiasco and now being determined to be the one to know the secret behind his sudden change of mind, she felt confident and well, determined.

  “Ask your question, Butterfly,” Greyden said softly, looking a bit defeated.

  She didn’t hesitate. Something had been bothering her and not only her, but several people, especially her brother, and she was going to take advantage of this time to get to the bottom of it. “Why did you quit jiu-jitsu?”

  Greyden wasn’t surprised by her question; he pretty much expected it once she gave him her “eye for an eye” spiel. Now he had to make a decision. Did he come clean and confide in her the way he expected her to do with him and trust her implicitly? Or did he make something up about being over it like he did with everyone else, when in reality it was killing him to have dropped it?

  He sat back in the booth, extending his legs out underneath the table and resting his hands on top. He looked out the window at the dreary parking lot, making his decision that Macie would to be the one person he relied on. Not his three best friends like he always thought he could or should tell everything. “Mace, what you told me in the car…” He looked back to her for her to acknowledge him. When she did, he continued with complete adoration in his eyes and voice. “Butterfly, that stays between us. We’ll tell Dec that the date sucked and it just wasn’t what you expected, you were bummed, that’s all. Okay?” Looking skeptical, she nodded. “As for jiu-jitsu,” he scrubbed his face with both hands, “I didn’t want to quit, I had to.”

  The waitress chose that moment to bring them their food. “Here you go, sweetie, a veggie omelet for you. And a whole slew of delicious foods for you, handsome. Can I get you two anything else?”

  “No, thank you,” Macie answered her politely before tucking her brown recycled napkin onto her lap.

  She didn’t push him after the waitress left. They both ate in peaceful silence. But now that the dam has sort of cracked, Greyden can only focus on letting the rest rush out.

  “Nobody knows yet and they won’t for a while, so you’ll need to keep this to yourself, even from your parents.” He paid attention to his food as he spoke, feeling guilty for betraying his parents, but really needing this outlet. He’d been getting so much shit for quitting that he felt like if he could just tell one person it wasn’t his idea, he’d be able to handle it so much easier.

  “You can trust me, Greyden,” Macie said sweetly.

  That was the thing; he knew he could. He kissed his best friend’s little sister on a whim and she never told a soul—that’s just not something girls her age were able to do, chose to do, very often.

  “My dad has a bad heart. I guess he’s been avoiding some symptoms for a while and it’s pretty bad. They only give him three to five years.” Grey’s chest tightened like it always did when he thought about a time coming when his dad wouldn’t be here with him and his mom.

  “I’m so sorry, Grey, that’s so scary.”

  When he looked up at her, her blue eyes were shiny with unshed tears. He didn’t want a pity party, he just needed her to listen.

  “They asked me to quit, knowing that ultimately I wanted to fight for a living, because my dad said they need me to have a safer career so I could be there for my mom when…you know, when my dad’s not around. Plus, he has me going to his office after school and working so I can start learning now, because I probably won’t make it all the way through college before—” He cleared his throat and downed his water.

  Macie didn’t see any of this coming. She was shocked into silence. Knowing her brother would rather be left alone than have a girl ask about his feelings, she decided on a different tactic. She slid out of the booth and sat down next to him. He didn’t scoot over, so she leaned right into the crook of his side and nestled her way under his arm. He didn’t say anything, just draped his arm over her and sort of one-arm hugged her. Her right arm went around his waist and she squeezed slightly, showing just enough affection before sitting back up and grabbing his plate of biscuits and gravy.

  Greyden looked down at her with a bemused expression.

  “Do you mind?” she asked, as if it were no big deal that she just over took part of his breakfast.

  He leaned down to her, offering his cheek. She hesitated for a split second, then placed a soft kiss against his smooth, warm skin.

  “That was nice of you, but I would rather have a butterfly kiss if my Butterfly is going to steal my breakfast. Only seems fair.”

  Macie laughed as he moved his cheek back in line with her face. She brushed her eyelashes along his cheekbone a few times before playfully shoving him back. “Now back off, I’m trying to eat my breakfast!” she exclaimed in a playful tone, leaving the somberness of a situation neither one of them can control behind for now.

  ****

  She waited patiently for him to spill the beans for all of about five minutes as they headed south on 101. She turned her head to demand an itinerary, or at least some clues, and noticed Greyden biting down on both of his lips to keep from laughing at her. She sighed heavily and decided she could live without knowing every detail just to prove him wrong. Macie leaned her seat back and closed her eyes.

  Next thing she knew she was waking up to Greyden once again at her side, brushing the hair out of her face and smiling his handsome smile. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “Are we here? Wherever that might be?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep as she tried to sit up.

  He gently guided her back down. “We are. Before you get up, though, I want to ask for a favor.”

  Macie turned her head so she could focus on his face a little better. “Okay.”

  “My first date sucked ass too. Not something to remember forever, that’s for sure.”

  Not sure why he was telling her this, her curiosity piqued and she couldn’t help but insist on knowing about it. “Tell me what happened! I’m dying to know how a date could go badly for a guy.”

  Grey smiled and readjusted so he was sitting on the side step of the car instead of squatting. “I couldn’t drive yet so this senior drove and we went to the Burger Shack after a football game and uh, spent some time in her car after that before she took me home. No horror story, but nothing to write home about either.”

  Macie rolled her eyes and shook her head, thinking that wasn’t so terrible at all.

  Grey grabbed hold of her hand. “So I had this idea. We can’t rewrite our pasts, but we can create our—,” still holding her hand, he pointed his index finger and gestured between the two of them, “first date. Then when people ask us about our first dates in the future, we can tell them about the one we’re about to go on and not the shit we already did. If you agree, of course. Nobody’ll be the wiser.”

  “I agree, Cupcake,” Macie answered in a snap, as if she feared he would change his mind.

  Greyden scrunched up his face in complete horror and asked, “Cupcake?”

  Macie laughed at his appalled look. “You need a nickname too. It’s only fair. Cupcake’s cute, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

  “Yeah, cute maybe for a girl or a little kid. Not for me. Keep trying.” Grey shook his head at her then reached over to unbuckle her seatbelt.

  “All right, Handsome.”

  “No.”

  Macie laughed out loud at
his stern expression.

  “Ok, are you ready to officially start our date?”

  Her beautiful smile graced her face as she gazed up at him and reached for his hand. Once she was on her own two feet, she took in the scenery around her, her lungs completely filled with the cool ocean air from her gasping reaction. “Grey,” she exhaled his name in astonishment and started walking forward, her hand still in his, only to be caught up slightly as he shut her door behind her and caught up with her.

  They walked quickly across the pebbled sand walkway and right up to the information boards where Macie took in a lot of info very quickly. Then she looked at Greyden with wide eyes. “I’m too excited to read all of this right now. Do you care if we go look first then we can read on our way out?” She was so excited she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. Greyden found her adorable. She was practically skipping, passing right by the attendants handing out the pamphlets and offering up information, so Greyden grabbed what he could for her as he hurried past him to stay with her.

  “Nah, I don’t care. This is your thing, Butterfly, do what you want.”

  “Eeeee!” she squealed, drawing the attention of several people around them. “I’ve wanted to come here for so long but we’re never here during the right season. This is absolutely insane. Look!! Holy crap, there are hundreds in that cluster right there and they’re so beautiful!” She stressed the word beautiful as if it were almost too painful for her to express.

  Greyden loved watching her marvel over the butterflies. He had taken her to the Monarch Butterfly Grove; it seemed appropriate. Her reaction only solidified his assumption.

  The further they walked into the trees of the grove, the thicker the clusters of butterflies became. There were thousands. “Did you know that in 1990, they had a count of 230,000 butterflies here? I mean, can you even imagine? Two hundred and thirty thousand,” Macie said in a dreamy voice as the black and orange butterflies fluttered above and around them. They walked the trail through the towering trees, stopping every so often for Macie to inspect a cluster.

  “It doesn’t sound like you’re going to need to read any of that information on our way out, you little brainiac,” Greyden said with an amused smile on his face.

  “Probably not. I’ve done my research.” Macie laughed, so carefree and happy. “I told you, I’ve been wanting to come here forever, but they’re only here over the fall and winter and we only come during the summer when Dad takes his vacation.” She continued down the trail, passing another couple that’d stopped to read a plaque.

  Once they walked to the end and then turned around and walked back through, she stopped and sat on a bench that was facing a small creek. Dozens of butterflies fluttered around them as they sat in silence and watched them. Well, she watched them. She gasped when one landed on the arm of the bench and brought her hands to her mouth when one landed on her knee, in complete bliss. Greyden, on the other hand, watched her. He couldn’t stop watching her with that beautiful smile on her face. She was so happy and he was getting confused. He didn’t feel like he probably should, yet he didn’t feel like he knew he shouldn’t, either. He didn’t want to do the things to her that he did with his normal dates—okay, that wasn’t entirely true. He did want that, it just felt different; it wasn’t an urgent feeling this time. It was more like…like…hell, he didn’t know, he just knew that what he felt for her yesterday wasn’t the same thing he felt for her today.

  “Don’t look at me like that! I can’t help that you chose the one place that would make me absolutely giddy! Don’t embarrass me,” she said teasingly, with a hint of a threat, as she held a steady finger to yet another butterfly that had landed on her knee.

  Greyden reached over for her hand and squeezed it gently. “I like seeing you so happy. That’s what I was looking at. If I had known you wanted to come so badly, I would’ve brought you last year, but we’ll come more often now.”

  “Thank you. Best. First date. Ever,” she murmured, looking deep into his eyes.

  Greyden leaned in, without thinking at first, then when he noticed her wide eyes, he realized that this wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing, let alone feeling. Shit. At this point he was already committed, and knowing Macie, if he pulled back without even suggesting a kiss, she’d get offended or her feelings hurt, so he whispered close to her face, keeping a slight smirk on his, “I’m going to kiss you now. You know, make this whole first date thing official and all.”

  She swallowed and nodded her head slightly, then leaned in to cover the other inch of space between them, and their lips connected. Instead of having to lean quite so far, Greyden scooted closer and wrapped one arm low at her waist, leaving the other at her jaw. His tongue traced the seam at her lips, coaxing them open, and she obliged immediately. Once he was inside her mouth, there was an undeniable connection, an electricity between them. Macie opened her eyes (she had remembered without effort to close them this time) and Grey opened his with apparent shock almost simultaneously.

  He cupped her face and rested his forehead against hers. “That was different, yeah?”

  She giggled. “Yeah.”

  “Thought so.” He stood and reached for her. When she took his hand, they walked leisurely back through the grove in silence, both taking in the breathtaking views of the butterflies.

  They spent the afternoon in the bustling little beach town cruising the pier, having lunch at the popular and crowded seafood restaurant, and watching the surfers take on the frigid waves. Greyden insisted on buying her a third bikini when they went into a surf shop along the shopping center. He had bought her another one for her birthday that past summer. He said it was their thing now—he bought them and she looked hot in them. She really couldn’t argue with that. C’mon, it was Greyden Michaels telling her she looked hot in a bikini…again.

  Greyden realized throughout the day that he liked her—a lot. One of the problems with that was Macie tended to act every bit her age. She was cute, sure, but she was also naïve, shy and a little immature, especially compared to some of the friends she brought around. She was young in every way that mattered. He liked and disliked that about her, but because of it, he would keep his distance and stop kissing the damn girl.

  Chapter Four

  October 2013

  Greyden

  “I’m just sayin’, someone else needs to talk to her too. I tried, but she wasn’t having it.” Luca grunted after he threw his barbell onto the mat and scrubbed his face with his shirt.

  “I’m not talking her out of this. He seems to be good for her; she looked pretty happy last night,” Dec says calmly, sitting on the weight bench and taking a swig from his water bottle, regarding Luca with disinterest.

  It irritates the hell out of me. Mitch used to piss us off all the time and he’s just going to let his sister date him? A guy who’s more interested in himself becoming the next controller of the universe with his political views than he is actually loving Macie, I’m sure. What the hell?

  “Well we all know that I can talk to her, but it won’t go over well,” Keegan says begrudgingly and we laugh, knowing that Macie listens to him the least since he’s always teased and badgered her about everything. He’s taken her safety just as sincerely as the rest of us and the level of overprotectiveness just like the other guys, but he’s teased her relentlessly and she stopped taking him seriously a few years back.

  Luca and Keegan glare at me through the mirror as I continue on with my pull ups. As usual, I’ve kept my opinion to myself during this pow-wow. They know I don’t interfere with Macie unless it’s dire and as much as I don’t like the idea of her dating Mitchell Fucking Vanderhorn, this issue is not dire.

  “Get down already! You’re making Dec look bad,” Keegan bellows, harassing me just before he narrowly misses a side kick from Dec, who’s scowling ferociously at him.

  It did me in. I laugh and lose my grip and drop easily enough onto the black gym mat beneath me.

  Scrubbing the sweat and
chalk from my hands with the white hand towel, a thought of Macie all done up in that red dress and those unbelievably sexy as hell shoes flashes through my mind and it momentarily trips me up. I can’t go there. I know that. Turning it over in my now dry hands, I rub the towel over my face and the second I close my eyes she reappears. Her large, innocent blue eyes shining across the fire at me, her toned leg peeking out from the slit of her dress begging for my touch. Shit.

  “You’re due to take one for the team, Grey,” Declan says on a shrug.

  Pointing my finger at him, I ask in confusion, “I thought you wanted her to date him?”

  “Hell no. That’s my sister. I don’t want her to date anyone. But she’s never been this serious about anyone before, so I can’t have bad blood with the dude if she’s going to keep him around. That doesn’t mean that you can’t, though,” Declan added that last part conspiratorially, piquing my interest.

  “You guys are on your own.” I turn to leave, brushing them off with a shake of my head, not wanting to get involved or disturb the quiet peace Macie and I have found over the last few months.

  “You have to, Grey. She’s our sister,” Luca tries once more.

  Stopping in my tracks, I turn on my heel and stare him down before responding. I’m pissed. For so many reasons. I’m pissed because I’ve never seen her as my sister like they all do, I’m pissed because they can’t get that through their thick skulls, and right now I’m especially pissed that he’s right. I do need to be seeing her as such and protecting her in that manner, but for motives I won’t confront—I can’t.

  “She’s gotta figure it out on her own, guys. Nothing we can do about it if Luca’s already done the big brother speech and failed. She sure as shit isn’t going to listen to me.”

  My three best friends, the ones I was just pissed off at, look back at me like they always do when they gang up on me. Solemnly, silently, and with knowing smirks, letting me know the tables have been turned yet again. I drag in as much air as I can and rub my head in frustration as I succumb to their “we’re getting ready to beat your ass if you don’t join our side” glares.