Lariats, Letters, and Lace

by Agnes Alexander

  “I wasn’t the only one that happened to. It took months to get all those Confederate generals to surrender. Some never did, they just gave up and sent their men home.”

  “And to think you made it all the way through the war only to have that happen. I don’t know why men keep fighting when they know the war is lost and their generals have surrendered.”

  Hal stared at the road ahead of him for a time, consumed in his own thoughts. Finally, talking more to himself than Malinda, he continued. “There was no skirmish—only the one shot—a Johnny Reb looking to knock out one more Union soldier before he slithered back home in disgrace. The war was supposed to be over, but there I was, shot the same as if they had caught me in battle. While my regiment marched in the Grand Review of the Armies in the Capitol, I was lying in a nearby hospital wondering if I was ever going to walk again. While the crowds cheered the victors, I was fighting off infection and trying to get well enough so they could release me and send me back to California.”

  Malinda sighed in commiseration. “I’m certainly happy to see you did finally make it back to California. It must be a relief to be home.”

  “Yes. Everyone has been telling me how lucky I am. I was lucky that the coward who shot me used a pistol instead of a musket. I was assured that if it had been a Minié ball instead of a small caliber pistol bullet it would have shattered my entire hip, and probably cost me my life. I apologize. I shouldn’t speak of things so indelicate.”

  “No. Please continue. I’m a farm girl. I’ve been exposed to indelicate.” She smiled at him.

  “When they did my surgery, I was lucky they had some morphine by then. They were able to get the bullet out of me, which is good, because amputation would not have worked. Unfortunately, a piece of bone came, too, which means they don’t know how many more pieces may have splintered off and be loose inside. Whether any other splinters will work their way to the surface or stay where they will always cause me problems remains to be seen. I’m lucky I’m able to get on my feet rather than spend the rest of my life in a rolling chair. I’m lucky I could return to my family. And, they tell me, I can have a family—if I can find a woman who can accept a cripple, that is.”

  “Don’t consider yourself a cripple, Hal. You’re a war hero. You’re very capable and can do a lot of things, even if you may have some limitations that require you to figure out other ways to accomplish what you want to have done. You’re a man of good character and I know some woman is going to be very fortunate to share a family with you.”

  Hal jerked his head to face her, a cynical smirk on his face. “What makes you think I’m a man of good character?”

  Mali fired back her response without hesitation. “Joshua told me so. He said you are a good man. Hal, I didn’t always like everything Joshua did or said, but he always looked out for me. He would not have misled me about something like that.”

  Hal continued to stare into Malinda’s eyes, his expression changing from one of surprise to one of contemplation. Mali stubbornly met his stare, refusing to look away first.

  Caught in his thoughts, Hal turned away first, facing forward as he concentrated on his team pulling them down the road.

  As time passed, Mali noticed him shift on the bench. Another squirm and a frown he quickly smoothed into a straight face left Malinda wondering if Hal felt uncomfortable about the things they had discussed, or if he was experiencing pain. It was Nancy, all but forgotten in the back of the wagon, who broke the silence.

  “Mr. Avery, I believe I recall you saying you plan to stay in San Jose tonight, and that you have business there that will keep you over the weekend before you return home Monday. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, ma’am. It will mean a long weekend without much to do, but…I find it is better for me for the present to travel in short distances over several days rather than to force myself to travel a long journey all in one day.”

  “Very wise, Mr. Avery. Then, if you have no pressing plans for Sunday, I invite you to join my family for worship service. My daughter, Lizzie, and her husband attend a little country church we will pass on the way to their house which Mali will point out to you. I’ll probably be busy enjoying my new granddaughter, but Mali and my son-in-law, Zeb, will be there. Then we’d be pleased if you could follow them home and share dinner with us.”

  Malinda glanced back at her mother, then sat up straight on the wagon seat and looked forward. Was this her mother speaking? Was this the same woman who mere hours ago cautioned her to not make assumptions and to go slow getting to know Hal Avery?

  “That’s very kind of you, Mrs. Forsythe. Are you sure it won’t put your daughter and son-in-law out?”

  “I’m sure it won’t, Mr. Avery. As much as I know Zeb is thrilled about having that little girl, I imagine after being stuck in a house full of females for several days, by Sunday afternoon he’ll start to feel a little swamped. He will enjoy a few hours of male companionship. And since I will monopolize my oldest daughter and my grandchild while I’m able, I’ll leave it to Mali to fix our meal for the day. You’ll have the opportunity to discover that she is just as talented in the kitchen as she is in the garden.”

  Hal turned to Mali. “You’re talented in the garden, are you?”

  At the sound of Hal’s voice teasing her, Mali glanced at him with an expression of mock indignation. “Yes. I’ve always preferred working with plants, from the gardening to preserving it to preparing it. I’ll let you judge how well I do it. I let Lizzie do most of the sewing and needlework, although I also know how, in a pinch.”

  “That sounds like a challenge, Miss Forsythe, one I must take you up on.” Twisting to face Nancy, he continued, “Thank you, Mrs. Forsythe. I will be pleased to join your family for church and dinner afterward.”

  “You’re welcome. Now that matter is settled, Mr. Avery, I want you to be honest with me. Are you experiencing pain?”

  Hal’s face flushed red and he answered slowly. “Yes, ma’am, I am, but I will just bear it the best I can. I beg your pardon if I have made you uncomfortable due to my personal weakness.”

  “Nonsense,” Nancy waved away his apology. “We will only be uncomfortable if we found out later there was something we could have done to help your situation and you failed to tell us. What do you generally do in a case like this when you are alone?”

  “I just try to change my position, to shift my weight. But, with a passenger sharing the bench, I’m trying to not move more than necessary. I don’t want to knock Mali off the wagon.”

  “I can scoot over. And perhaps you will let me drive your team for awhile so you don’t have to stay in the same position,” Mali suggested. “I used to love driving the wagon for Papa. I miss our horses.”

  Hal studied her face. Next he glanced at her hands. “I don’t know. Pulling at the leads might tear your mitts apart. It looks like someone went to a lot of work crocheting them for you.”

  Malinda smiled. “Yes, my sister Lizzie.”

  “Also, if you haven’t handled a team in awhile, it might raise blisters on your hands.”

  Before Mali could respond, she felt a nudge on her elbow. She looked down to see her leather gardening gloves. She glanced back at her mother who sat with Mali’s open trunk next to her. With the gloves having been the last item to go in, it had not taken Nancy long to find them.

  “Mali has always been good with the horses, Mr. Avery. I think you would be doing her a favor if you let her take over for awhile.”

  Malinda quickly changed her gloves and handed the mitts to her mother. She realized her mother had rearranged the blankets in order to carve out an area where she could lie down and rest. Mali turned forward and let Hal position the leads on her fingers. She sat up straight and leaned slightly forward.

  “If it helps, Hal, lean your arm against the seat back for a little bit. I’ll be fine.”

  Hal did as she suggested, each careful to not touch the other. A few minutes later, he shifted his position until his weight
rested on his left buttock. After a few minutes, Mali glanced over at him and smiled. He turned toward her, an expression of relief on his face. Malinda turned to look in the back of the wagon. Her mother appeared to have fallen asleep.

  “Are you doing all right?” Hal asked. “Since you aren’t used to it, if you want me to take over again, I will.”

  “No, I’m fine. Just get as comfortable as you can.”

  Hal shifted again and put more weight on his left arm draped across the seat back. “Go ahead and lean back, Mali, so you don’t get a crick in your back.”

  Mali slowly leaned back until she felt her spine connect with Hal’s forearm. Gradually, she relaxed against him, enjoying the silence and the sensation of sitting close to a man—an experience she had not been sure she would enjoy again in her life once she learned Joshua had been killed. She especially liked sitting next to this man.

  Hal grimaced and shifted again. She felt his hip connect with hers. Although she kept her eyes forward and watched the road before her, her entire body tingled with the awareness that her right side now lay molded against Hal. She remembered enjoying having Joshua put his arm around her and pulling her toward him, but she could not recall having the same feeling of connection—of oneness—she now felt sitting beside Hal.

  “Still all right, Mali?”

  Malinda turned to face Hal with a smile, hoping conversation with him would not dispel the sensation of contentment she enjoyed being by his side. “Yes. I want to thank you for taking us to my sister’s, even though it is an inconvenience for you.”

  “It’s no inconvenience.”

  It was a simple statement, but the sincerity in Hal’s eyes spoke volumes to Mali.

  “Thank you. Please tell me the truth. It wasn’t your first choice to take us. You agreed to do it because Joshua asked you to help to us, just like he asked you to bring me that letter. I know how he is…was. He was always talking people into doing things for him.”

  “To be honest, it was a surprise when you asked me to take you and your mother. But, truly, I’m happy to have you along for the journey. I know now I’ll miss you riding with me when I travel from San Jose back home. If I meet up with Joshua beyond this earth life, I will have to thank him for tasking me with the opportunity to be of service to you.”

  “So, he managed to talk you into bringing the letter and offering your help. Have you now fulfilled your obligation to him? Or…did he ask anything else of you?”

  Hal took a deep breath and turned away. The slight flush of pink on his face told Mali there was something more.

  “Yes, there was one other thing he made me promise to offer. I told him at the time I didn’t think you would appreciate it. I agreed on the condition I would give you the option, but if you refused, my obligation to him would be fulfilled.”

  Mali sat in silence waiting for him to tell her the third thing Joshua had asked Hal to do. As he continued to sit in silence, Mali could stand it no longer. “Tell me, Hal. What else did he ask you to do?”

  Hal inhaled deeply. Nervously, he swallowed before he forced the words out. “Joshua asked me to give you one last kiss for him—a kiss in his memory to say good-bye. Now, I don’t want you to feel obligated if you find it distasteful, Mali. And, I told him that…” Hal glanced at her to see if his words had shocked her.

  Mali tipped her head as she studied Hal. Joshua wanted Hal to kiss her? Hal agreed to give her a good-by kiss for Joshua? Mali knew she did not need a kiss to remember Joshua. What she did know was she very much wanted Hal to kiss her. The longing that had been building inside her since she first saw him sitting in his wagon in their yard had now exploded into a desire. Even if he kissed her only once and then he decided to ride out her life after this Sunday, she longed to know more than anything what it would be like to kiss him. After all, at her age, and with most of the young men who lived close to her knowing she had been intended for Joshua, she might never be courted again. She might never have another opportunity to kiss a man.

  Then again, she didn’t want to kiss just any man; she wanted to kiss this man.

  “Hal, if you’re willing, I think it is noble of you to kiss me—as a favor to Joshua. I would very much consider it an honor for you to fulfill his final wish.” She twisted around and looked behind her, then turned back to him, a smile on her lips. “Mama’s still asleep.”

  Mali watched Hal in anticipation. Now she had made her declaration, what would he do? Would he take the opportunity to kiss her? Would he make an excuse and put it off for a future time? Would he fall back on a claim of impropriety and refuse to kiss her at all?

  ****

  Hal forced his face to remain void of expression, afraid he would reveal how much he desired to kiss Mali—not for Joshua, but for himself.

  When Joshua had first asked him to promise to give Malinda a kiss in his name, Hal had thought to give her a brotherly kiss on the cheek. From earlier conversations with Josh, Hal knew he and Mali had grown up together more like brother and sister, or cousins. That was why he agreed to such an outrageous request. It was only after he swore on his word of honor to give Malinda Forsythe a kiss in Joshua’s name that Joshua had clarified he intended for Hal to give her a lover’s kiss.

  Now that Hal had met Mali in person, he no longer wanted to give her a chaste, brotherly kiss. As long as she was willing, he would give her a lover’s kiss for Joshua. But, what he really wanted was to kiss her for himself. And, although he had feared she would grasp at the offer to avoid the kiss, she hadn’t. For Joshua’s sake, she would honor his request that Hal kiss her. So be it. In spite of his own desires, he would do his best to kiss her for Joshua.

  The two leaned toward each other. Hal felt Mali slide into his embrace as his arm behind her curved around her back. His right arm reached over and pulled her tight against him. Mali clutched the leads even as she pressed her body into his chest as she tipped her chin up to catch his lips with hers.

  Hal’s resolve lasted until he felt Mali’s soft, warm lips against his. He lost himself in the kiss, gently pressing his lips to hers, feeling the heat of longing for her spread throughout every cell in his body. Joshua was the furthest thought from his mind. He could not believe his good fortune. After spending the past year convinced no woman would be able to see past his injury, this beautiful and kind-hearted woman who not once had made him feel deficient because of his physical limitations, now kissed him without reservation.

  Then again, the thought flashed through his mind, perhaps in her mind she was kissing Joshua.

  ****

  The time for Joshua’s kiss had ended—if it had ever begun. The obligation had been fulfilled. Mali canted her head as the kiss deepened. Filled with longing for Hal, Mali’s heart burst with joy as she realized Hal kissed her for himself, not as a surrogate for Joshua. She responded with fervor, wishing the kiss to never end.

  Feeling a drift in the movement of the wagon, the two finally separated. Mali shifted until she sat facing forward. Even though her eyes focused on the horses, the rest of her remained aware of the man sitting next to her. The team stayed to the road even though she sensed the tall grasses along the right edge tempted them to veer in that direction.

  Her lips tingling and her face flushed with pleasure, Mali refused to entertain any regret that the kiss had been so intense—so unlike the last kiss Joshua had given her just before he left. Although he had hugged her often, Joshua had rarely kissed her. When he did, his kisses were quick, playful smacks on the lips. Even his last kiss as he prepared to sail back east to join the fighting had been the quick kiss of a man impatient to be gone. It was nothing like the soul-melting kiss Hal had just given her, a kiss that left her tingling clear to her toes. This was not the kiss Joshua would have envisioned.

  Or was it? As her thoughts flitted through her mind like fireflies, one that burned bright was the conviction Joshua had chosen Hal for her. Could Joshua have planned on a heartfelt kiss to bind them together?

  M
ali wondered what Hal thought of the kiss. Had he enjoyed it or had she misread him? Had he put as much feeling as he could into it to fulfill his obligation? Had she responded appropriately, or did he consider her a loose woman for yielding so willingly—so fully?

  Then Mali noticed a light in Hal’s eyes she had not seen before. “You did Joshua proud, Hal. I think he is ready to rest in peace.”

  Hal smiled, his eyes teasing. “It was an honor, but in my next kiss, there will be no Joshua in it.”

  ****

  Hal studied her expression, waiting for any hint of disapproval at his declaration. Maybe he should not have been so forthright. Maybe he should not have hinted at the depth of longing for Mali he experienced as he kissed her—a desire to never let her go, to be one with her and claim her as his.

  She spoke so softly he almost didn’t hear her. “I look forward to it.”

  Only then did Hal realize she enjoyed his kiss. He grew bolder. “There wasn’t all that much of Josh in this one.”

  “I know.”

  Just then, an unseen barrier jarred the wagon. Hal grabbed the side of the bench with one hand while clutching Mali with the other to keep the two of them from flying off the wagon. Mali pulled on the leads to guide the team back to the center of the road.

  “Wha…what was that? What happened?”

  The two turned to see Nancy Forsythe, confused from being startled from a deep sleep, rub her forehead while she struggled to a sitting position. Mali looked behind the back of the wagon and spotted the offending mostly-buried boulder, the top jutting up at the side of the road.

  “Sorry, Mama. It looks like I hit a big rock. I’ll try to pay better attention.”

  Nancy squinted and studied the pair before her, noticing their flushed faces and bright eyes. She eyed Hal’s arm across the back support and the two sitting close together.

  “Please do, Mali. Mr. Avery might regret letting you take over the leads if you shake his buckboard apart. Let me know when we get close to Lizzie’s.” Nancy turned to her other side and sank back down onto her bed. She covered her face with her bonnet and pulled a blanket up over her shoulders.