Blind Squirrels

by Jennifer Davis

  “Whose house?” Donna asked.

  “We haven’t decided yet,” Olivia said matter-of-factly.

  “Show us Max’s house, Kat,” Colleen said.

  “I don’t think so. You are not rolling Max’s house.”

  “No – you got it all wrong. We wouldn’t dream of rolling Max’s house. We would never hear the end of it.” Colleen smirked.

  “Just like we never hear the end of Max,” Olivia added.

  I was curious to see if Max was home, so we drove to my neighborhood. Max’s car wasn’t there. “Want to see where Johnny lives?” I asked.

  Olivia and Colleen both piped up. “Sure! That would be great!”

  I drove the five blocks to Johnny’s house. I knew where he lived because of Dominique.

  “Pull over for a minute,” Colleen yelled. “I need to pee right now.”

  “You can’t pee here,” I said, but I stopped the car at the house next to Johnny’s.

  Colleen and Olivia jumped out with their rolls of toilet paper. “Come on, you guys. Let’s roll Johnny’s house.”

  “No, sir,” said Donna.

  “I’m out of this,” I said. “I don’t care if Johnny is a jerk – I’m not getting caught rolling his house.” Yes, I was chicken.

  “You guys sure know how to kill a party,” Olivia said dejectedly. A wave of relief washed over me as I decided they were giving up.

  “We’ll let you know how much fun you missed!” Colleen shouted. Then she and Olivia ran off towards Johnny’s house.

  “I don’t know about you, Donna, but I don’t want to be sitting here while they do this.”

  “Me either. Let’s circle the block or something.”

  I pulled onto the street. I could see Olivia and Colleen in my rearview mirror. They seemed to be having fun. I sped away. After driving around for ten minutes, I circled back by Johnny’s house. Toilet paper hung from every conceivable inch of house and yard. We couldn’t see Colleen and Olivia anywhere. I drove by and stopped at the end of the road. I heard something run into my car. It was Colleen – she had thrown herself against the passenger side of the car and almost scared Donna to death. She and Olivia jumped in, and I drove away from that street as fast as I could.

  “Did you see that?” Olivia asked.

  “We did a fabulous job,” Colleen said. “Too bad we don’t have a camera. Let’s go back and look one more time.”

  “No way! I’m taking everyone home. We could get into trouble over this. Especially me – I’m driving the getaway car.”

  “You are such a sourpuss, Kat. We can’t have any fun with you around.” Colleen was moping; she wished we could toilet paper every house on the block.

  “You’re right, Colleen. Kat is a goody-goody. And she’s probably proud of it.” Olivia must have forgotten all the beer I drank. That disqualified me from being a true goody-goody.

  I dropped Olivia off first. In spite of my spoilsport attitude, she said that she had fun. Donna and Colleen thanked me for inviting them when I took them home. Colleen halfway apologized for her behavior but only because Donna made her. I watched until they went inside and then I drove home. I was completely sober by now, but I wondered how I had gotten us all home safely.

  After Christmas vacation, my life really changed. I was driving my car to school every day. Laura and one other person always rode with me. Wayne or Roger rode with us most often, but Aurelia and Dominique rode occasionally. In the afternoons, Laura and Wayne always rode home with me. I’d drop Laura off first, and then I’d take Wayne home. I soon came to know Wayne’s family very well and spent a lot of time with them.

  Felicia’s birthday was at the end of January, and she was turning seventeen. Laura and I had planned to take her somewhere and celebrate, but, at the last minute, Laura was put on restriction for staying out with Billy too late the night before. So Felicia and I were on our own. We decided to drive over to Pensacola and cruise the Navy base to check out the sailors. Because my dad was a disabled veteran, I had access to the base through a Navy decal on my car and a Navy ID card. We drove onto the base, but the pickings were slim. The only action we saw involved a sailor with a balloon. He was walking on the sidewalk near the Navy Exchange. Felicia told me to stop. When I did, she told him that it was her birthday, and she asked him for his balloon. He looked at her like she was nuts, but then he handed her the balloon. She thanked him. She was hoping he would talk to her some more since she thought he was rather cute. Instead, he continued walking down the path as though nothing had happened. Felicia’s balloon popped before we made it out the front gate.

  As we were leaving the base to head back to Foster’s Bank, we saw two guys hitchhiking. I knew they were sailors from their short hair and duffle bags, so I asked Felicia if we should give them a ride. She hesitated, but, in a moment, she said it was okay. I pulled off the road just past them, and they came running up to my car. As Felicia got out and let them in, I took a good look at them. Both of them were tall and thin. The first one leaned into the car. He had dark red hair and a matching beard; on his head was a brown beret. His eyes were wide and dilated, so I couldn’t tell the color. He wasn’t handsome, but he looked okay. He was wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and a jean jacket. In his hand was a blue duffle bag. He smiled at me as he sat down. The second guy scooted into the seat. His good looks immediately mesmerized me. He had strawberry blond hair, a mustache, and a goatee. His sky-blue eyes were hypnotic, and his smile was friendly and warm. I could see the rippling muscles under his button-up shirt, and I suddenly forgot that I preferred short, scrawny men. He spoke to me, and I became completely bewitched by him.

  Felicia got back in the car. I couldn’t readily decipher the look on her face, but outrage would have been my first guess. I whispered to her and asked if she was okay. She just glared at me and rolled her eyes towards the backseat. Apparently, she wasn’t happy with our passengers.

  The good-looking guy said, “Thanks, Ladies. We appreciate the lift. My name is Josh, and this is my friend, Ray.” He had a distinct accent, but I couldn’t place it.

  Before I could speak, Felicia turned around, “We’re giving you a ride, not meeting you at a dance. We don’t need to know your names.”

  I couldn’t believe Felicia and her attitude. Quickly, I tried to intercede. “Ha-ha. That’s good Felicia. Felicia’s always joking around. I’m Kat. It’s good to meet you.”

  Felicia shot me an evil look. “Thank you, Kat, for telling my name.” Then she looked back at Ray, “Where are we dropping you anyway? Not far, I hope. I’ve got to get home soon.”

  Ray ignored Felicia’s rude behavior. “Do you know where that place called The Barrels is, man? Just drop us off there. You know what I mean, man?”

  Felicia glanced in my direction. That bar was only a few blocks from where we were, and we both knew it was no longer in business. I could read her mind, “What will we do with them now?”

  I glanced back at Josh. He was so cute. “Okay, we’ll take you there,” I said. I figured we’d decide what to do with them when we got there.

  I pulled the car up, and watched for an opening in the string of cars shooting by us. The Navy base was letting out for the day and traffic was horrendous. I finally saw my opening. I sent the gas pedal to the floor and shot out onto the highway.

  “They must call you Mario Andretti,” Josh said. I chuckled, but Felicia just rolled her eyes. She saw me falling under his spell.

  The Barrels bar was only about a mile away, so we were soon pulling into the parking lot. Felicia could stand it no more. “They closed that place down over a month ago.”

  “Damn, man,” Ray said. “I mean, what are we gonna do now, man?”

  “I guess we’ll just get out anyway. We can’t hold these young ladies up any longer. Felicia has to get home.” That was Josh. Dang he was polite! I couldn’t let him just slip out of my hands. For the first time in three years, Max was not the first thought on my mind.

  “I’ll take you so
meplace else – after I drop Felicia off.”

  Felicia was not happy, but Ray was. “Yeah, man. You can drop us off at my friend’s house, man. You know what I mean, man?”

  It was a long drive to Felicia’s house, and she gave me the cold shoulder all the way. I stopped in her drive, and she said, “Kat, could you help me with my school books?”

  I knew she was up to something. “I’ll be right back,” I said to Josh. I took some of Felicia’s books and got out of the car. Felicia was already on her porch.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t make them get out before. They’ve obviously been smoking pot – I can smell it all over them. Aren’t you afraid to drive around with them by yourself?”

  “I didn’t really think about it. They seem nice – at least Josh does. I’m sure their friend lives nearby. I’ll be getting rid of them soon.”

  Felicia shrugged as she realized how hopeless her protests were. “Be careful,” she said, “and call me when you are safe at home.”

  Back in the car, Josh had moved to the front seat, and Ray was sitting in the middle of the backseat. “Where does your friend live?” I asked Josh as I got back in.

  “He’s Ray’s friend, not mine. Where to, Ray?”

  Ray described a place that I knew rather well. When I was younger, I had lived in that neighborhood for four years. Donna and her family had only recently moved from there. The area was about five miles away from Felicia’s, and it was located on the road between Foster’s Bank and Pensacola. It wasn’t a very pleasant area – most people referred to it as the “Slums” –and I immediately regretted that I had promised to take them there. Since my family had moved away, the neighborhood had become scary.

  As we approached my old neighborhood, Ray pointed ahead, “Yeah, man. It’s a few more blocks, man. I can’t remember the name of the street. You know what I mean, man?”

  I drove past several streets, and Ray finally said, “Yeah, man. This one! Turn right here, man.”

  Once we were on the road, Ray pointed out his friend’s house. I pulled into the drive. “Wait here, man,” Ray instructed. “I’ll motion for you in a minute, man. You can bring her with you, man.” He headed up to the big brick house.

  “I...I better get home now, Josh. I don’t really know you and Ray that well,” I was actually starting to get nervous.

  “Kat, please wait with me. I don’t know Ray’s friend either. I was hoping you might take me back to my friend’s house. He lives over in Foster’s Bank.” That voice – how could I resist that voice? And he remembered my name! This was the moment for decision. I could escape an increasingly bad situation and laugh about it later with Felicia, or I could continue to take chances that might lead to the trouble Felicia had warned me about.

  No choice here: I waited. Soon, a bearded man with long brown hair opened the door. Ray spoke to him for a moment and then the man disappeared into the house again. Ray waved for us to join him. I stayed firmly planted in my seat. Josh got out, but he came to my window and leaned in it. “Come on, Kat. I’ll take care of you.” Reluctantly, I opened my door, and Josh helped me out.

  We walked up on the porch just as the bearded man reappeared. My eyes grew three sizes larger when I saw that the man was holding a knife. Josh quickly pulled me down the steps and back to the ground.

  “Get in the car,” he said in a commanding voice. He didn’t need to order me. I was already opening the car door.

  The bearded man swung the knife at Ray, and Ray jumped down out of his way. “Watch it, man! I just came to get my money, man! I’ve got some more grass for you, man! I ain’t after your stash, man! I’m your friend, man!”

  I slowly began to grasp what was going on here. Ray had sold some marijuana to this guy and he was here to collect his money. Old Bearded One thought Ray was there to take his dope, and he was willing to fight for his weed – to the death, if necessary. Once the Bearded One understood what Ray was talking about, he threw down the knife and embraced Ray. Did I say I grasped what was going on? I just knew this was a bad scene, and I needed to go.

  I heard Josh saying, “Are you staying, Ray? I’m going back to Fresno’s pad. Kat’s going to give me a ride.”

  Ray turned to Josh, “Yeah, man. I’ll be okay now that he recognizes me, man. He’s just on a bad trip. He’ll be fine now. You know what I mean, man? Say, do you need some weed, man?”

  “No, I’m fine,” Josh answered. Turning to me, he said, “Let’s go.”

  He couldn’t guess how happy I was to oblige him. I backed out and flew away from that house.

  “Slow down, Mario,” Josh laughed. He was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry about that scene with Ray and his friend. If I’d known pot was involved, I wouldn’t have asked you to take us.”

  Josh seemed sincere. The more he talked, the more I liked him. “Tell me about yourself, Kat,” he said.

  “There’s not much to tell. I’m a junior in high school. I’m sixteen. I have one brother who is in the Navy. I also have a niece and a nephew. That’s about all.” I must have sounded extremely boring.

  “You have a beautiful Southern drawl. Where are you from originally? Georgia?”

  “It’s not a Southern drawl. It’s a country accent. I used to live in Alabama.” Boy how I hated to admit that. I hated my accent, too. I had been trying to banish it since I moved to Foster’s Bank. That was seven years ago, and it was still hanging around like a stray cat that I had fed.

  “Whatever it is, I like it. It’s so much more delightful than my Cajun accent. I’m from New Orleans. My daddy is the Chief of Police over there.”

  “How old are you, Josh?” My parents would never let me date anyone as old as Josh must be, but I hoped he might be younger than I thought.

  “I’m twenty – almost twenty-one. I joined the Navy for a three year stint, and my time is up in June. I’m on sea duty – stationed on the Lexington. Ray and I met about a year ago. He’s a little older than me, but he’s very immature. Maybe it’s all the pot he smokes. I smoke, too. Just not as much as Ray. I like to stay in control.”

  I didn’t know what to make of Josh and Ray’s marijuana usage. I had never smoked it, but I had smelled it on other people. It stunk. Still, I kept thinking that I should try it someday. “I’ve never smoked,” I said, “but I like to drink.”

  “Smoking pot is no worse than drinking. In fact, I can handle myself better when I’m high than I can when I’m drunk. Of course, if you don’t want to smoke, there’s nothing wrong with that. You need to turn here. My friend Fresno lives on this street. It’s still several blocks to the apartments though.”

  I turned, and I began to think that I would never see Josh again. He was just being kind to me. I was much too young and inexperienced for a guy like him. He pointed to the apartment complex, and I turned into the drive.

  “You can let me off here,” he said. “Thanks for the ride. I’m sorry about Ray, too.” He started to close the door, but he seemed to want to say more. He stuck his head back inside. “I don’t suppose your parents would let you date a sailor. I’m probably too old, right?”

  He wanted to ask me out! “I used to date a sailor. My mom would have to meet you, of course.”

  “Well, I was going to get Fresno to take me to this game room tonight so I could play pool. I’d rather go with you, but I don’t have a car. Would she let you drive?”

  I took a risk. “I’m sure she won’t mind. What time?”

  “Pick me up at six. I’ll be waiting right out here. Is that okay?”

  “I’ll be here.” And I knew I would – even if I had to lie.

  He shut the door, and I watched as he walked away. As I drove away, I tried to concoct a story that my mother would believe. I couldn’t possibly tell her that I had picked up a hitchhiker and expect to survive through the telling of that story. Maybe Laura could help me. All I knew was that I had to go on this date.

  Laura was happy to hear my voice. Felicia had called her and filled her in o
n our little escapade, and, of course, Laura was worried about me. I told her about my adventure but not about my date with Josh. She told me that I was crazy for driving those guys around. “I would have thrown them out at The Barrels,” she said. “You should have listened to Felicia.”

  “Maybe. But I really liked Josh. I didn’t want to throw him out. And Ray was his friend, so I couldn’t just dump him.”

  “Well, I’m glad you didn’t get stopped by the cops if he had drugs on him.” I hadn’t even thought about the police. I wondered what they would have done to me.

  “I guess I should tell you about my upcoming date...” I said.

  “Date? With who? Did Wayne finally ask you out?”

  “Wayne? Why would he ask me out? We’re friends, and that’s all. I’m talking about a real date.” I wondered if Laura knew something about Wayne that I didn’t.

  “Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s the date with?”

  “Josh,” I answered.

  “Ha-ha. Very funny. Even you aren’t stupid enough to go out with one of those guys,” Laura said with delight.

  “I’m not kidding, Laura. Josh asked me to go play pool with him. Now I have to come up with a story for my mom. I can’t tell her that I picked up a hitchhiker. You have to help me think of something.”

  The pleading in my voice must have won Laura over. “I still say you’re crazy, but I guess I will help you. Did your mom know you were going anywhere today?”

  “I told her it was Felicia’s birthday. I asked her if we could go to the bowling alley. She said we could if I got home by four. I was home by three-thirty.”

  “That’s perfect. Just tell her you met him at the bowling alley. I’m sure you can embellish the story just fine without me. Don’t forget to offer to bring him home to meet her. That will be the selling point. If a guy is willing to meet your mom, he must be an upstanding person. At least that’s what my mom thinks. Try it out anyway. It can’t hurt.”

  Laura’s plan was great. Why didn’t I think of it? Now all I had to do was wait on Mom.