Blind Squirrels

by Jennifer Davis

  My mom came home from work at four-thirty – she was managing the shop completely now, and her hours had changed. I met her at the door, and she could tell that something was exciting me.

  “Give me a chance to get inside before you start asking for favors,” she remarked. Once inside, she put her purse down and turned to me, “All right, what’s got you all charged up?”

  I had developed my final story fifteen minutes ago and practiced it several times. I had even called Felicia and tried it out on her. She agreed that it was foolproof. I was ready to bluff my mom into letting me go out with a perfect stranger – emphasis on the perfect. “I met someone at the bowling alley today.”

  “Really? Who?”

  “His name is Josh. He asked me out on a date.” I was preparing for the line of questions she was formulating in her head.

  “Josh, hum? How old is he?” She was just starting to warm up.

  “He’s a sailor. He’s twenty years old, and he works on the Lexington. Can you believe he used to work with Greg?” My story was good.

  “Greg? The Greg you used to date?”

  “Uh-huh. They were friends.”

  “That’s nice. Now how did you two figure out that you both knew Greg?” She was getting technical now.

  “We didn’t, at first. Felicia and I were going to bowl, but there were no empty lanes. We went to the snack bar to have a soda, and Josh and his friend offered to buy our drinks. We started talking, and they said they were on the Lex. I mentioned Greg, and soon we realized that we both knew him. Greg had told Josh about me, too. Later, Josh asked me to go play pool with him. Please, Mama, can I?”

  “I don’t know about that. Where are you going – the bowling alley? I don’t want you going into Pensacola at night. Is he picking you up?”

  “No, we aren’t going to Pensacola. He’s staying here in Foster’s Bank with some friends.” This much of my story was true. “We were going to this game room on Phillips Road. The one across from the mall. But Josh doesn’t have a car. He does want to meet you though. I can either meet him at the game room or pick him up. If I pick him up, we can come by here on our way. Please!” I wasn’t above begging. I wanted to go out with him. I had never wanted anything so much – except maybe Max.

  “He said he wanted to meet me?”

  “Yes. He said he didn’t want to go out with me if my parents didn’t approve. His dad’s a police officer, and he raised Josh to do things right.” This wasn’t part of my original story, but, the more I lied, the easier it was. My imagination was working overtime, and I was going to make Josh look like an angel.

  “He sounds like a fine young man...” Relief washed over me. I had done it. She wouldn’t even ask to meet him now. “...Pick him up and bring him over. I’d like to meet a man that has morals and manners. Then the two of you can go out. I’ll even raise your curfew to eleven o’clock.”

  I didn’t win everything, but I was going to get to go out with him. Josh wouldn’t mind meeting my mom. And I was getting an extra hour with him. I was ecstatic.

  I met Josh at six o’clock sharp. He was waiting for me. “You’re right on time,” he said.

  I smiled. “I hope you don’t mind, but my mom wants to meet you.”

  “That’s cool. I told you that I would. I don’t want you lying to her.” Too late for that.

  When we reached our house, Josh came around and helped me get out of the car. As we approached the house, I could hear my mom and dad arguing. “They do this all the time,” I told Josh. I was almost ashamed to let him meet them.

  Before I could open the door, Mom jerked it open. “Hi, Kat.”

  “Hi, Mom. This is Josh...”

  “Joshua Boucher, Ma’am,” he told my mom. He pronounced his last name “Boo-shay.”

  “Nice to meet you. Sorry I can’t invite you in. You two have a good time. Be home by eleven, Kat.” Mom practically closed the door in our face. I looked at Josh and shrugged.

  In the parking lot of the game room, Josh pulled a joint out of his pocket. “You don’t mind if I smoke, do you?” he asked before lighting it.

  “Oh, no. Go right ahead.” I wanted him to feel comfortable.

  “Want some?” he offered, after he got it lit. The smell was already overwhelming. It seemed that I was smoking it already.

  “Okay. But I’ve never done it before.”

  Josh held the end of the joint to my lips. “Suck hard. You might not want to inhale until you get used to it.”

  I took a long, hard suck on it. The heat from the tip and the harshness of the burning weed filled my mouth. I wanted to expel it immediately, but I knew I would look like a fool. Instead, I tried to swallow the smoke. This resulted in a coughing fit. The smoke escaped from my mouth, but I also felt the heat of the smoke inside my lungs.

  “I told you not to inhale,” Josh said with a snicker. He patted me on the back. “Don’t worry. Everyone reacts that way the first time.”

  Josh took another hit on the joint, and then he put it out and hid it in his wallet. “We’ll finish this later,” he said.

  We played several games of pool. Most of the time, I won. Josh wasn’t very good, and my dad – who was practically a pool shark – had taught me how to win. My skill surprised Josh, but he didn’t get upset when he lost.

  Around eight o’clock, Josh said, “Let’s get out of here. I’m hungry.”

  After we got on the highway, Josh asked me to stop at a convenience store. “You want something to eat?”

  I was hungry, but I did not want to eat in front of him. “No, I’m okay.”

  “I’ll get us something to drink. Anything special that you like?”

  “Whatever you are having,” I answered.

  A few minutes later, Josh appeared with two bags. I could see the neck of a bottle sticking out of one. It looked like a wine bottle. “Let’s go to the beach,” he said.

  I knew I shouldn’t, but I turned and headed towards Pensacola Beach. It was a drive, but we were soon sitting on a sand dune and staring out at the vast Gulf. It was dark and cold, and I was alone with someone I barely knew.

  Josh made a small campfire on the ground in front of us. He pulled the bottle out of the bag. It was a jug of something called “Pink Chablis,” and it was pink. “I’ve never had this before, but it looked like something you might like,” he told me as he popped out the cork.

  I took the bottle from him. It was big, but I turned it up and took a swig. The taste was sweet and bitter – kind of like soured grapes. I made a face – my lips puckered, my eyes squinted, and my nose wrinkled. Josh laughed. “It’s that good, eh?”

  “Terrific,” I said as I prepared for another drink. Then I held the bottle to him, “Try it.”

  It was great sitting there with Josh, but the wind was cold. I couldn’t stop shivering. Josh looked over at me. “Let’s get back in the car.”

  Sitting in the car on the main road wasn’t as much fun as sitting on the beach. Cars kept whipping past us, and I couldn’t sit as close to Josh. He hadn’t touched me or anything, but we had sat close together on the beach.

  “We need to find a more private place. I can’t smoke my joint here, and someone may see us drinking. Let’s see if we can find a deserted dirt road or something.”

  I wanted to leave the beach, too, but I was beginning to feel the effects of the wine. “I don’t think I can drive right now.”

  “I’ll drive,” Josh said. We exchanged seats in the car, and Josh took us away from the beach. Since he knew when my curfew was, he decided to drive us back towards Foster’s Bank. After a long while, we started down a rural street that Josh said was just a few miles from the beach near Foster’s Bank. All the while, I was sipping on that bottle of Chablis. Josh drove slowly until he found a dirt road leading off to the right. He turned down it and traveled about a quarter of a mile. He then pulled off the road and turned off the car. I didn’t have a clue where we were.

  “Come on. Let’s sit in the back,”
he urged me.

  Too drunk to argue, I helped Josh push the front seats forward and we got into the back. Josh lit up his joint, and we shared the wine. I don’t know how long we sat there, but Josh smoked several joints, and the smoke in the car was thick. After breathing for a few moments in that fog, I was as high as Josh was.

  After we finished off the wine, Josh put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. He started kissing me and that I do remember. The next thing I remember is Josh pulling up my pants. Suddenly, a pair of bright lights came shining in through the back window of my car. Josh quickly zipped his pants and helped me straighten up my clothes. “Who the hell is that?” he said anxiously.

  Just then, someone flashed a beam of light in my face. Still dazed and trying to remember what had just happened between Josh and me, I was unfazed by the blinding flashlight. Josh was more in control. He leaned past me and rolled the window on the driver’s side down to see who was out there. I was enough aware to recognize a policeman standing outside my car. My whole life flashed before my dilated eyes as the officer said, “What’s going on here?”

  It was obvious what was going on. We were in the backseat, Josh’s shirt was off, and marijuana smoke was steadily streaming into the officer’s face. I saw the bars of a cell slamming in my face. Josh was strangely calm. Perhaps he had been in prison before.

  “Hi, Officer,” Josh said confidently. “My wife and I...” He pointed to me. “We just got married, and we live with her parents. We were just looking for a little privacy. You understand.”

  No, I thought, he doesn’t understand. We are going to jail, and my mother is going to kill me.

  “I understand,” the policeman said, “but this is a private road. Why don’t you go over to the beach? It’s only a few miles away. No one will bother you there.”

  “Okay, Sir,” Josh told him. “Thank you. We’ll leave right away.”

  The policeman walked away. He got into his car and left us sitting there. We weren’t going to jail after all.

  Josh leaned over and kissed me as he said, “We should get out of here.” He started laughing. “I can’t believe that cop bought my story.”

  Josh reached over and opened my door for me, but I couldn’t move. I’d just had a life changing experience, and I couldn’t even remember most of it. Also, my head was still swimming from the pot and the wine; I wasn’t sure I could drive. Somehow, my eyes came to rest on my watch. Slowly I began to realize that it was ten-thirty. I had only thirty minutes to take Josh home and get home myself. Instantly, I was as sober as a judge.

  I really felt like Mario Andretti as I sped non-stop some ten miles from the beach to downtown Foster’s Bank. I was only a few miles from the apartments where Josh was staying, and it was still ten minutes before I’d miss my curfew. Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief, I saw flashing red lights ahead. A train was about to cross in front of me! Panic gripped me as I realized I had no chance of getting home by eleven.

  The caboose waddled by at ten-fifty-seven. I still had to get Josh home. As we approached the apartment building, I envisioned my forthcoming execution, or – worse yet – my forthcoming ten year restriction.

  At four-after-eleven, I brought the car to a stop where Josh was pointing. Josh told me that he’d had a wonderful time. Then he told me that he had to leave the next day to ship out on the Lexington which was pulling out from nearby NAS Pensacola. The aircraft carrier was going to New York City for over a month, and Josh had to go with them. At once, I knew that he was dumping me. This was the same thing that happened to Laura and Felicia when they lost their virginity. I told him to have a good time and prepared to leave. “Do you have a piece of paper?” he asked me. “I’d like to have your phone number and your address. I can write you while I’m in New York.”

  My spirits lifted. I fumbled through my purse until I came across my notepad. I scribbled my address and phone number on it and then tore the sheet off and handed it to Josh. A harrowing thought flashed through my mind, “He’s probably going to throw this away when he gets out of sight.”

  “I’ll write to you soon. I promise. And I’ll be back in March. I hope you’ll be waiting. You can meet the ship when it comes in.” He leaned over and kissed me goodnight. “I hope your mom isn’t too mad. Bye.” He left the car and walked towards the building. I wanted to watch him, but I knew I had to get home. It was eleven-ten already.

  At home, my mom read me the riot act. I apologized and promised it would never happen again. She must have been in a good mood because she let me off easy. All she did was send me to bed. I had lucked out all the way around that night.

  I counted the days until Josh would be back, and I watched the mailbox for a letter. I had to wait until February to receive any mail from him. It was a few days before Valentine’s Day, and he sent me a Valentine. He wrote inside, “Love, Josh. You and Pink Chablis really turn me on.” I wrote back to him using the address he put on the envelope. Two weeks later, he wrote me a four page letter. Even before I read it, I knew I must be in love. Josh would be home in two more weeks, and he wanted me to meet him when he arrived. I was jubilant.

  Josh returned on a Wednesday during Spring Break. I talked Olivia into going with me to meet him. We sat in the parking lot for forty-five minutes before he appeared. I introduced him to Olivia, and the three of us rode around together for a couple of hours. He was going to be on duty for the rest of the week, so we made plans to go out on Saturday night.

  I got to the Lexington at four o’clock on Saturday afternoon. Josh and Ray were waiting near the gangplank. They both walked over to my car. Ray was drinking a Michelob beer from a bottle. “Hi, Kat,” Josh said to me. “Ray was wondering if you had a friend that you could fix him up with. He wants to go with us.”

  I immediately thought of Felicia; just as quickly, I remembered how much she had loathed Ray. And Laura was still dating Billy. Olivia wouldn’t do it either, but I decided to call her anyway. The phone rang and rang, but Olivia wasn’t answering.

  “That’s all right,” Josh told me. “We’ll dump him somewhere. Or maybe your friend will come back home. It’s still early.”

  The three of us climbed into my car. Josh took the shotgun position, and Ray was sitting directly behind me. He offered me a beer, but I politely declined.

  As we drove along, Ray kept talking more and more, and I was getting pretty sick of him. I was ready to drop him off at the next corner, but he would have no part of that. “What about your friend, man? Fuchsia or whatever her name was – is she going out with me, man?”

  “Felicia’s not available,” I said.

  “You gotta have another friend, man. Josh wants you to himself, man. I don’t want to be a third wheel, man.”

  “Most of my friends have boyfriends, and Olivia wasn’t home when I called her.” I didn’t want him to be a third wheel either.

  “If you don’t know anyone I can go with, Josh and I will just go to a bar by ourselves, man. Right, Josh?”

  “I don’t think so. Kat and I have been waiting for tonight for a long time,” Josh told Ray.

  “You owe me, man – big time. And I think we ought to go to that bar I told you about.”

  I was about ready to stop the car and push Ray out. I hadn’t much liked him before, and he was quickly losing points on my likability scale. If he said, “man” one more time, I was going to explode! At the same time, I felt Josh’s growing unrest. He was torn between his best friend – whom he’d known at least a year – and his girl – whom he’d seen only four times. I was completely aware that I was going to lose this tug of war if I didn’t do something fast.

  “Let’s drive by Olivia’s house. She lives right up here. Maybe she’s home now.” I would feel guilty pairing Olivia up with the likes of Ray, but it was a price I was willing to pay to be with Josh.

  “Good idea,” Josh said with a smile. With any luck, he wouldn’t have to choose between Ray and me.

  Olivia wasn’t home. Josh�
�s smile had faded. Ray was pushing the envelope. If I made Josh choose, I might lose him forever. I had to diffuse the situation. “Which bar do you want to go to?” I asked. I stopped at a stop sign and waited for their answer.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia’s mom’s red Chevy Nova at a corner gas station. Olivia was pumping gas into it. “Wait a minute!” I shouted. “There’s Olivia. Let’s see if she wants to go out with us.”

  I pulled my car up alongside Olivia’s. After explaining that Ray didn’t have a date, I asked Olivia if she would like to go out with him. She held out until I started to beg. Then she said, “Okay, I guess I’ll go. But I need to change. Give me twenty minutes; then pick me up.”

  Olivia looked beautiful when she emerged from her house. She was wearing a frilly white shirt and a pair of black pants. I felt underdressed and out of place in my pink T-shirt and jeans until I took a glance at Josh and Ray. Josh was wearing a red T-shirt and jeans; Ray was wearing his trademark beret, a green T-shirt, and jeans. Poor Olivia was the one out of place.

  Josh let Olivia into the backseat. After some discussion, we made a group decision to go out to the beach. Josh suggested Pensacola Beach, where we’d gone for our first date, but we went to a small private beach on the west end of Foster’s Bank instead. The drive to the beach took about twenty minutes since Olivia’s house was on the opposite side of town. During the trip, I kept looking in my mirror to see what was happening in the backseat. Olivia was sitting as far away from Ray as she could get. Ray didn’t seem any happier with Olivia. I started realizing what a disaster this night was going to be.

  We got to the beach at five-thirty. It was still light outside. We turned on my car radio and sat there talking together. Ray was smoking pot, and Olivia didn’t like that. I was drinking with Josh and Ray, but I don’t remember if Olivia was drinking. Olivia was having a lousy time. She and Ray were barely speaking. As a last ditch effort, Josh suggested that they take a walk on the beach together. Both Olivia and Ray were okay with the idea, so they got out of the car and left Josh and me alone.