'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Not at all. Let’s go.’ Roy led the way downstairs, calling goodbye to Jane.

  ***

  Livvy sank back into the comfortable leather seat as Roy drove slowly down the private lane and out onto Ashlea Road. He turned to Livvy and said. ‘You okay now?’

  ‘I’m fine thanks. This is a lovely car.’ She admired the sleek BMW saloon. ‘It feels enormous after my wee Mini.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s not bad. I don’t use it very often, usually when I’ve got more than one passenger.’

  ‘What do you drive when you’re not using this?’ she asked curiously.

  He looked at her, his face lighting up as he spoke. ‘A bright red Lamborghini Jalpa. I love it. It’s the most wonderful car to drive.’

  ‘You sound like a wee boy at Christmas,’ she said, laughing.

  ‘I feel like a wee boy at Christmas when I’m driving it,’ he replied, imitating her Glaswegian accent. ‘Now, where’s your flat?’

  ‘The other side of Pickford. Near Jackson’s Heath.’

  ‘Oh, that’s close to where Ed and I grew up. I’ll have you home in no time. Let’s stick some music on.’ He leant across her and rooted in the glove compartment. ‘Dire Straits okay?’ She nodded and he pushed Alchemy into the tape slot. ‘It needs rewinding, but it’ll do,’ he said and sang along to Romeo and Juliet, Livvy joining in with him.

  ‘It’s two roads down on the right,’ she directed as they approached Jackson’s Heath. She pointed to a three-story apartment block. ‘That’s my Mini Cooper,’ she announced proudly as Roy swung onto the car park alongside the little red car. He stopped the engine and looked at her as she undid the seatbelt.

  ‘Thank you, Roy. It was kind of you to give me a lift.’

  ‘You’re very welcome,’ he replied. For the rest of his days Roy could never fathom why he said what he said next, but say it he did, changing the course of his life forever. ‘Aren’t you going to ask me in for coffee?’

  Livvy looked at him with startled eyes. ‘Oh, erm, well, erm yes, if you’d like one. But I only have instant.’ She got out of the car.

  ‘Instant will do just fine,’ he said, clambering out.

  Livvy fumbled in her handbag for her key and opened the entrance door. Roy followed her inside, through the spotlessly clean hallway, with its troughs of exotic plants, and framed local landmark prints, and up the equally clean stairs to the red door of flat number seven.

  ‘Nicely kept place, Livvy. Not like some of the blocks of flats you see.’ He followed her down the hall and into the lounge. ‘Mind if I have a fag?’

  ‘Of course not,’ she replied, kicking off her shoes. ‘There’s an ashtray on the windowsill. I’ll put the kettle on and change out of my work clothes. Take a seat.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Roy lit up and sat down on the sofa. He glanced around the neat, feminine room. The dark pink curtains matched the full blown roses on the suite. He leant back against the sofa cushions and stretched out his long legs.

  As he blew smoke rings, Livvy came back into the room. She’d taken off her black trouser suit and formal white blouse and was wearing a pair of tight denim jeans and a pink button through top. Her long hair, released from its restraining clips, cascaded over her shoulders in a mass of golden curls.

  Roy caught his breath and felt his stomach tighten as he stared open mouthed at the petite, blue-eyed vision.

  ‘Do you take sugar, Roy?’

  ‘No thanks.’ He shook his head slowly. ‘I’m quite sweet enough!’

  ‘I’m sure you are,’ she replied softly. ‘I won’t be a minute.’

  ***

  Livvy spooned Nescafe into two china mugs and topped them with boiling water and milk. She couldn’t believe it and felt like pinching herself. Roy Cantello was sitting right here in her wee lounge, looking as though he belonged. Her best friend Sheena would never believe her, even if she were to tell her. And she couldn’t, because…. she shook her head. She wouldn’t dwell on the whys and wherefores right now, or she’d be up half the night with nightmares.

  She carried the mugs, balancing a small plate of Jaffa cakes on one, and put them down on the coffee table in front of Roy.

  ‘Help yourself, either mug. I’m sweet enough too.’

  ‘You certainly are,’ Roy agreed as she blushed. ‘Would you like a cigarette?’

  She nodded, taking one. His hand shook slightly as he held out his lighter. She flopped down next to him and smiled.

  ‘How long have you lived here?’ he asked.

  ‘Almost a year,’ she replied.

  ‘Why did you leave Scotland?’ He reached for a Jaffa cake.

  ‘To escape from my past,’ she said, grimacing.

  ‘What do you mean, escape? Were you in bother with the law?’

  ‘No, nothing like that,’ she said, grinning shyly. He wouldn’t be interested in her life story, would he? But he was looking at her with his head on one side as though waiting for her to continue. So she took a deep breath. ‘I’m adopted, you see. It was a private affair, done through the church. I was given to a couple who lived just outside Glasgow and brought up an only child. I was ten when Mum went off with a lay preacher and left me behind.

  ‘Dad was a God bothering nutcase, strict and over protective. He wouldn’t allow me out of his sight after Mum left. He’d wait for me outside school, lock me in my room when he went to his church meetings and I wasn’t allowed friends over. It was awful.’ She took a sip of coffee. ‘You don’t want to know anymore, Roy. I must be boring you.’

  Shaking his head he patted her knee. ‘You’re not. Carry on.’

  ‘Okay, if you’re sure. I got friendly with a boy called Danny McVey. One day we played truant, spent the time in the amusement arcades in the city centre. We missed the bus back to school in time for Dad picking me up. He went crazy when we arrived back. Punched Danny in the face and bundled me into the car.’ Tears tumbled down Livvy’s cheeks at the memory. She brushed them away with her hand. Roy reached into his jacket pocket and handed her a hanky.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, wiping her eyes. ‘I’ll wash it for you.’

  ‘Keep it,’ he said. He picked up his coffee and took a sip. ‘Go on.’

  ‘When we got home he whacked me across the mouth and split my lip. A neighbour heard me screaming and called the police. Dad was arrested, I was taken into care. As the police took him away he yelled at me, saying that I was a whore and no better than my real mother. She was only sixteen for God’s sake, just a wee girl.’ Livvy paused and looked at Roy who was shaking his head.

  She wiped her eyes again. ‘I was allowed to have weekends with my adoptive Granny. She died when I was eighteen and left me a wee legacy. It was the only security I had. I rented a flat with my friend Sheena and got a job in a music store. Then I heard my father was being released from prison.

  ‘I decided to leave Glasgow. The first train out was to Manchester so I chanced my fate. I stayed in a B&B while I found a job and this wee flat. Even Sheena doesn’t know where I am, but I called her to let her know I’m safe.’

  ‘And what happened to Danny?’ Roy asked.

  ‘He wouldn’t come near me after the beating. Last I heard he’d gone to London to work as an estate agent. Sheena and I used to sing in clubs back home and I was hoping to join a group down here. I was so happy to get the job at Flanagan and Grey’s and when Jon told me his band could do with another female singer I was over the moon.’ Livvy took a deep shuddering breath. ‘But of course, Jess doesn’t want me in The Zoo.’ More tears tumbled down her cheeks.

  Roy put down his mug and took her in his arms. ‘Don’t cry, Livvy. Jess will come round eventually.’

  She raised her head. Roy looked into her eyes and held her gaze. He tilted her chin, hesitated momentarily then kissed her.

  Surprised at first by his action, Livvy found it hard to resist his insistent lips and kissed him back.

  He pulled her closer. Her arms crept up around his neck as she savoured his to
tally unexpected kisses. He undid the buttons on her top and she heard his gasp when he saw she was bra-less.

  ‘Oh, Livvy,’ he sighed as he cupped her breasts. He ran his thumbs over her nipples and she moaned as he bent to take one in his mouth. She closed her eyes and raked her hands through his hair.

  ‘Oh God, what am I doing?’ He pulled away from her. ‘Livvy, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’ He jumped up, snatching his car keys from the coffee table. ‘I have to go. I’m so sorry.’

  Livvy could feel her cheeks warming as she fastened up her top. She followed him down the narrow hall.

  ‘Please don’t tell anyone about this,’ he begged, backing out of the door. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’

  ‘I won’t tell a soul,’ she replied, touching his arm. ‘Roy, don’t worry, please.’

  He nodded and shot off down the stairs.

  ***

  Roy sat gripping the steering wheel for what felt like ages. He was shaken by his actions and the feelings he’d experienced as he kissed Livvy. It had felt so right and he’d wanted more. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have screwed her if he’d stayed. He’d never been unfaithful to Sammy since the day they’d met. She’d given him everything he’d ever wanted or needed. He’d never felt the urge to seek it elsewhere, even though sex had been offered freely by groupies when he was with The Raiders.

  He fired up the engine and shot off the car park, swerving to avoid a small dog that ran out in front of him. ‘Fucking idiot!’ He shook his fist at the elderly owner who ambled along, oblivious to the fact that his Jack Russell had almost met its maker. He loved Sammy with all his heart, so what the hell had happened to him back there? He put his foot down and drove home as quickly as he could.

  Sammy was already in bed. She was curled up reading and smiled as he walked into the room.

  ‘Hi, handsome. Good rehearsal? Nick called, said he’s staying with Jess because she’s upset about something. Jason got a lift home from Jon.’

  Roy nodded, stripped off his clothes and chucked them onto the floor.

  ‘Roy, you untidy sod! Why can’t you hang anything up?’

  ‘Don’t know,’ he shrugged. ‘Jess and Livvy had a falling out. Livvy was upset, too, so I ran her home and then popped in the Royal Oak.’ It surprised him how the lie came out so easily. ‘I’ll just brush my teeth then I want to show you something.’

  ‘Oh, Roy, I’m tired. I’ve got to get up early. You should have come home sooner if you wanted a shag!’

  ‘You were tired last night and the night before,’ he complained. ‘What about my conjugal rights?’

  ‘What about them? I think you’ve had more than your fair share of conjugal rights. Probably more than any other man on earth,’ she said, laughing at his disappointed expression. ‘Oh go on then, brush your bloody teeth and hurry up.’

  He needed no further encouragement. Shagging Sammy would block out the guilty feelings crowding his head.

  ***

  Sitting on the sofa chain-smoking, Livvy went over what had just happened. Her stomach churned and her cheeks burned as she thought of Roy’s mouth on her lips and breasts. He was her friend’s father for goodness sake. She should have stopped him. How would she ever look him in the eye again, or Nick and Jason come to that? Roy had been embarrassed, too. What on earth must he be thinking?

  But, Livvy argued with her thoughts, it felt so right and that was the scary thing. She’d had few boyfriends and had never allowed anyone to touch her intimately. Her father’s preaching had had a profound effect on her and the way she reacted to men. With Roy it had happened before she even realised it was happening. It was a good thing he stopped before they got too carried away. She switched on the TV, flicking through the channels. She couldn’t settle to watching anything and decided to go to bed.

  All night she lay awake, unable to get Roy out of her mind. She rose at seven and ran a bath. As she was towelling her hair dry she remembered it was Wednesday, her day off, and groaned inwardly. She could have done with working today to take her mind off things. Now she had all day stretching out with nothing to do.

  She lay on her bed and tried reading. If she could just doze for an hour or two she might feel a bit better. Then she could perhaps make a start on decorating the kitchen. She’d bought the can of bright yellow paint weeks ago and it was still standing unopened in the hall cupboard. Yes, she decided, that’s what she’d do. Slapping paint on walls and watching it dry would take her mind off Roy, if nothing else.

  ***

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Startled by the shrilling of the alarm, Roy mumbled, turned on his side and pulled the pillow around his head. Sammy slid quietly out of bed and crept into the en-suite. To save Roy’s slumbers from further disturbance, she collected her hairdryer and brushes and made her way to the spare room, knocking on Jason’s bedroom door as she passed.

  He opened the door, dressed, hair elaborately styled. ‘I’m already up, Mum. I’m going down to make breakfast. Would you like toast and coffee?’

  ‘Please, love. I’ll be down in a few minutes. You look lovely, Jason.’ She admired his stylish black jeans and crisp white shirt.

  ‘Thanks Mum, Jules is always dressed nice, so I’m making an effort to look good, too.’

  ‘Out to impress the girls, are you?’ Sammy teased. ‘You and Jules will knock ’em dead looking like that.’

  Jason blushed and ran downstairs as Sammy stared after him, smiling proudly. Unlike Nick and his father, he wasn’t concerned whether girls fancied him or not. He’d inherited the Cantello good looks but none of the macho confidence. Maybe that would come later, but for now, Sammy knew that Jason wasn’t in the least bit bothered.

  After a hurried breakfast, she rushed back upstairs and shook Roy by the shoulder.

  ‘I’m going now, Roy. I’m giving Jason a lift to Jules’s place. See you tonight.’ She bent to kiss him as he opened one eye and mouthed ‘I love you,’ before shutting it again.

  ***

  As he heard the front door slam Roy shot upright and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. His lusty dreams would put any erotic moviemaker to shame! After making frantic love to Sammy last night he felt guilty for having such colourful visions, where Livvy had danced naked. A nubile nymph, performing sexual acts with him. He could feel an erection starting at the very thought.

  ‘Get a cold shower, you randy old git,’ he muttered. Before doing that he leapt out of bed and padded into Nick’s bedroom to look for his address book. It was in the cupboard by the bed and he looked under Livvy’s surname. It wasn’t there, but then again, Nick thought like he so he turned to the L’s and found it.

  He scribbled the number on a scrap of paper and went back to his bedroom. Dare he call her? Maybe she’d already left for work? Before he changed his mind Roy dialled her number and lay back on his pillows. She answered almost immediately.

  He swallowed hard before speaking. Never had he felt so nervous and unsure of himself since his early teens. ‘Hello, Livvy, this is Roy Cantello.’

  Much to his relief, Livvy’s response was bright and cheerful.

  ‘Hi, Roy. Funnily enough, I was just thinking about you.’

  ‘Were you really?’ He smiled, wondering if Livvy’s thoughts mirrored his randy dreams. ‘I want to apologise again for what I did last night. It was bang out of order and I’m very sorry. You must think I’m a dirty old letch.’

  ‘No, Roy, I don’t think anything of the sort. I’m as much to blame. I should have stopped you and I didn’t. It wasn’t your fault.’

  ‘What time do you leave for work?’ he asked, making small talk. He wanted to suggest she have a drink with him later, perhaps after she finished work. But he was unsure how she would react to the suggestion.

  ‘I’m not working today. I was planning on painting my kitchen walls.’

  ‘I see. Well, in that case, why don’t I buy you a pub lunch first? Then you
can paint your kitchen this afternoon and I’ll go and do some work with Ed.’

  He crossed his fingers. She was silent for a few seconds before replying.

  ‘Is that a good idea? I mean, won’t your wife object?’

  Roy screwed his face, knowing full well that Sammy would most certainly object. ‘She won’t know, will she? We can go out of town. There are some nice pubs in the Peak District. No one will recognise us up there.’

  ‘They may well recognise you, but no one will know me from Adam,’ she giggled.

  ‘Don’t you mean Eve?’ he quipped. ‘Well, are you game or what?’

  ‘Yeah, okay. I’ll get myself ready.’

  ‘I’ll collect you in a couple of hours then. It’s a gorgeous day. We could take a walk before lunch.’ He said goodbye, hung up and lay back on his pillows, hands behind his head. ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ he muttered. ‘But more to the point, do I bloody care?’ What harm would it do? It was only an invite to lunch when all was said and done.

  ***

  ‘Morning, kids.’ Eddie sat down at the kitchen table and helped himself to coffee.

  ‘Morning, Dad.’ Jess passed the newspaper across the table to Nick. ‘Look, check the one I’ve circled. It sounds really nice. What do you think?’

  Nick cast his eyes over the advert and nodded. ‘Yeah, sounds great. Phone the agent. Make an appointment to view this afternoon.’

  ‘Found a flat?’ Eddie asked, reaching for a slice of toast.

  ‘Yes,’ Jess replied. ‘A one bed-roomed apartment in Abbott’s Edge. Can we borrow your car to go and view it? Mum will be using her car for work. You’ll need the Jeep later to pick the kids up from school and if we take it we might not be back in time.’

  Eddie blew out his cheeks and sighed. ‘I don’t know, Jess. I’ve just had it valeted. Last time you used it you left sweet wrappers and empty coke cans lying around.’

  ‘I won’t do that again. Please, Dad. I promise we’ll be very careful.’