'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Oh - I suppose so, but don’t be driving like an idiot. And remember, it’s not insured for Nick, so just make sure you’re behind the wheel all the time.’ His Ferrari 308 was his dream car, his pride and joy. It had cost him a king’s ransom to insure it for Jon and Jess to drive. ‘Bit of a pricey area, Abbott’s Edge. It’s a real yuppie domain. Are you sure you can afford it?’

  ‘Well there’s not much else and I refuse to live in a hovel,’ Jess said. ‘Anyway, Dad, you wouldn’t see us starve, would you?’

  He shook his head. ‘I don’t suppose I would. But there is such a thing as working for a living. The flat your mother and me shared with Roy and Tim in Westlow was considered to be a luxury apartment in those days. We had to pool all our money for the bills and rent. I had two jobs, managing the record store and drumming with The Raiders, to keep us afloat. We had Jon, and you were on the way, Jess. We knew what it was like to struggle before the band made it big, believe you me.’

  ‘Oh God, here we go, get the violins out.’ Jess grinned and rolled her eyes.

  ‘I’m going to look for a job this week, Eddie. I’ll be able to keep your daughter in the manner to which she’s accustomed,’ Nick said.

  ‘I doubt you’ll find a first time job paying that much money, Nick,’ Jane said, strolling into the kitchen. She sat down and helped herself to a mug of coffee. ‘Pass me some toast, please, Ed. You need to get a job too, Jess.’

  ‘I know. We’ve a few good gigs lined up over the next couple of weeks, and you and Sammy said I could help out at the factory, Mum. Let me know when you want me to start. We should manage fine if we’re both working. We can buy furniture with my inheritance and pay the flat deposit with it as well.’

  ‘The money won’t go far if you keep dipping into it without putting any back,’ Eddie warned, handing Jane a plate of toast.

  ‘If we get stuck for money, I’m sure Mum and Dad will see us right,’ Nick said, smiling confidently.

  ‘You’ll be okay if you avoid the patter of tiny feet,’ Jane said.

  Jess nodded. ‘That’s definitely not on the cards for at least six years. We don’t want to be tied down with kids, do we, Nick?’

  ‘No chance,’ Nick said. ‘I want to do some living and travelling first.’

  ‘Wise words,’ Eddie agreed. ‘But sometimes you get what you’re given!’

  Jess smiled. ‘Not us. By the way, Mum, can we have the Brittany house for a holiday? We want to go sometime around Nick’s birthday in May.’

  ‘No problem,’ Jane replied. ‘I’ll let the caretakers know nearer the time. How many of you are going?’

  ‘Us two, and Jon and Jason and Jon said he was going to invite Helen.’

  ‘Are you not inviting Livvy?’ Eddie asked. ‘Might be nice if you did. I reckon she gets lonely with no family living close by.’

  ‘Well she can stay lonely,’ Jess said, scowling. ‘There’s no way she’s coming with us.’

  ‘That’s not very nice, Jess,’ Eddie said. ‘And I wouldn’t think for one minute that Helen’s mother will allow her to go. She’s too young. I certainly wouldn’t let my fifteen-year old daughter go off on holiday with a randy twenty-two year old.’

  ‘Oh well, whatever, she’ll be sixteen by then anyway,’ Jess replied airily.

  ‘She’s still too young for our Jon.’ Eddie lit a cigarette and took a lengthy drag.

  ‘You try telling him that,’ Jane said.

  ‘I wouldn’t dream of interfering. But I know my son well enough to know that he’s not going to be happy just sitting holding hands, and it bothers me.’

  ‘Well say something to him then,’ Jane said, standing up. ‘Right, I’m off to work. The kids were getting into their uniforms and Katie’s hair needs fastening into pigtails. I’ll leave her in your very capable hands, Ed. Are you working with Roy later?’

  ‘Yeah, he’ll be here about lunchtime,’ Eddie replied. ‘We’re going to finish that new song for Perry’s Dream.’

  ‘Oh, that James Perry’s a real dish,’ Jess smiled dreamily.

  ‘He’s a bloody poofter!’ Nick said.

  ‘No, he’s not. He’s got the neatest bum I’ve ever seen on a man, and he’s soo-oo good looking.’

  ‘Yeah, in a pale, insignificant sort of way,’ Nick replied with a sneer.

  ‘Oh, Nicky, I do believe you’re jealous,’ Jess taunted.

  ‘I am not. A man should be a man.’

  ‘You sound just like your father, Nick,’ Eddie grinned. ‘Mr Macho!’

  ‘Well there’s nothing wrong with that,’ Nick said. ‘Anyway,’ he directed at Jess, ‘I thought you liked me being all man. You never usually complain.’

  ‘Nick, not in front of the parents,’ Jess said, grinning.

  ‘I’m off,’ Jane said. ‘I’ll leave you lot to it.’

  ‘And I’ll sort out Katie’s pigtails.’ Eddie stubbed out his cigarette and drained his coffee mug. ‘Song-writer, pigtail-maker, multi-talented, that’s me.’

  ***

  Livvy looked in despair at the mountain of clothes on her bed. She’d tried on every outfit she possessed but couldn’t make a decision.

  ‘It’s only a pub lunch, you idiot. Anyone would think he’d asked you to the Oscars.’ What would Roy be wearing? Something casual, no doubt. She’d only ever seen him in jeans. But then, she only ever saw him at Jon’s home or Flanagan and Grey’s and they weren’t places he would be dressing up to go to anyway.

  She finally chose a denim skirt and a cream and blue long sleeved top and pulled them on over black lacy underwear before she changed her mind again. She did a twirl in front of the mirror. The blue flowers on the top echoed the baby blue of her eyes and the short skirt showed off her shapely legs. She chewed her lip for a moment, pulled off her top, removed her bra and put her top back on. ‘That’s better,’ she muttered.

  She stroked blusher on her cheeks, slicked her lips with soft pink gloss, and mascara-ed her long fair lashes. Her hair had dried in Shirley Temple ringlets and she ran her fingers through to separate the curls. She checked the varnish wasn’t chipped on her finger and toe nails, a quick spray of L’air Du Temps, and she was ready.

  Taking a deep steadying breath, she grabbed her new denim jacket from the wardrobe and slipped her feet into a pair of dainty black sandals. Her mouth was dry and her palms were sticky by the time the intercom buzzed.

  Roy announced his arrival and Livvy released the door catch. She opened her flat door and as he strolled into the hall, looking so handsome, her stomach fluttered and her breath caught in her throat. In spite of a sprinkle of silver in his hair, with his dark good looks, tight denims and black T-shirt, he looked no more than thirty and could easily pass for Nick and Jason’s older brother.

  ‘Hi.’ His smile was sexy, eyes sultry and as he kissed her chastely on the cheek she felt she might faint. ‘You look lovely.’

  ‘Thanks, Roy,’ she said. ‘It’s nice to see you again.’

  ‘And you. Let’s go.’

  ***

  Roy glanced down at Livvy as they strolled across the car park. She was five-foot-nothing to his six-foot-two and looked as fragile as a china doll. Compared to Sammy, who at five-foot-seven, was all legs and robust, Livvy looked as though a puff of wind would blow her away. Roy sensed she was feeling nervous and felt protective towards her.

  He helped her into the car and fastened the seatbelt. ‘You really do look beautiful,’ he said and sank into the driver’s seat.

  He drove out to the Peak District and turned off towards Castleton, regaling her with stories about life on the road with The Raiders. She listened, enthralled with his tales, laughing at some of the antics they’d got up to. She visibly relaxed and Roy could see she felt at ease with him. He was driving his red Lamborghini today and she told him she felt like a film star, sitting beside him.

  As they entered Castleton, he drove down the main street and swung onto the car park of the Cheshire Cheese pub. He stopped the engine, leapt out
to open her door and helped her out. ‘Shall we have a stroll around the village first and check out a few of the shops.’

  Livvy nodded, following him. ‘Slow down, Roy,’ she puffed, trying to keep up with his long strides.

  ‘Sorry, Liv.’ He stopped and put his arm loosely around her shoulders. Her closeness made his heart beat faster and he smiled when a flush crept over her neck and face as she gazed at him. He took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers.

  ‘Roy, we really shouldn’t be doing this.’

  He nodded in agreement. ‘You’re right, we shouldn’t. But I want to, very much.’

  ‘So do I,’ she admitted.

  ‘Well then, let’s do it. We’re not hurting anyone.’ He pulled her further along the main street where they stopped to admire a window display in a craft and gift shop. Livvy’s eyes lit up as she pointed to a large teddy bear sitting on a display stand at the back of the window. The golden haired bear sported a blue and white spotted bow tie and appeared to be smiling at them.

  ‘Isn’t he gorgeous,’ she said.

  ‘You like bears?’ Roy said, grinning at her delight.

  ‘I love them. I’ve a few wee ones sitting on my bed at home, but none quite as handsome as he.’

  Roy ruffled her curls with his free hand. She was a delightful breath of fresh air and was doing things to him that only Sammy had done before. His stomach was flip-flopping like a sixteen-year-old; his heart was racing, not to mention the familiar twitching. Down, boy, he thought as he pulled her close. ‘Come on, let’s get some lunch. I could murder a pint.’

  They strolled back towards the pub, Livvy giving the bear one last lingering glance. The Cheshire Cheese was cheerful and cosy with its densely beamed ceilings. In spite of the day being bright and sunny, a log fire crackled and spat in the open grate.

  ‘A real fire! Can we sit by it?’ she asked eagerly. ‘We always had a real fire at home when I was a wee girl.’

  ‘Bless, you. Of course we can.’ Roy smiled as her face lit up. She was still a wee girl. ‘What would you like to drink?’

  ‘White wine and soda please,’ she called, making her way to a table near the fireplace.

  Roy ordered the drinks and while the barmaid busied herself he turned to look at Livvy who was draping her jacket over a chair. She pushed her hair back from her face and caught his eye. She smiled and his heart skipped a beat while his stomach tightened. Shit! He recognised that feeling. Was he falling in love?

  He carried the drinks over and handed Livvy hers. She took a sip then lifted her glass to his.

  ‘Cheers, Roy and thanks for bringing me out.’

  ‘My pleasure, honey,’ he replied, touching her glass with his pint pot. He sat beside her and downed his lager almost in one go. ‘What would you like to eat? There’s a specials board on the wall, or you can choose from the menu if you like.’

  She studied the specials board, frowning as she tried to make up her mind. ‘What are you having?’

  ‘Steak, I reckon. Sirloin if they do it. Would you like a steak?’

  ‘Please,’ she nodded. ‘I never buy steak. I can’t afford it.’

  ‘Well you shall have it today, my treat. Chips or salad?’

  ‘Salad please. And I’d like the steak well done.’

  Roy strolled back from the bar after ordering the food and patted his jeans pocket.

  ‘Damn it! I’ve left my fags and lighter in the car. I won’t be a minute, sweetheart,’ he said, dashing out of the door.

  ***

  Livvy sipped her drink, studying her surroundings. The pub was decorated in a traditional style with horse brasses on dirty-yellow walls, a shade that was an attribute to nicotine rather than Dulux, she thought. It was fairly quiet with a few middle aged couples dining. There was no evidence of a juke box, just an old fashioned fruit machine and a cigarette dispenser. An elderly man, standing by the bar, touched his cap and nodded at her. Livvy nodded back. The barmaid walked over and smiled in a friendly manner.

  ‘’Scuse me for being nosy, love, but that man you’re with, did he used to be Roy Cantello?’

  Livvy felt her cheeks heating. ‘Err yes, actually, he still is!’

  ‘I thought so.’ She folded her arms with an air of satisfaction. ‘I’d know that sexy smile and those sultry eyes anywhere. I was a fan of The Raiders in the sixties, you see. I’ll have to ask him to autograph a beer mat when he comes back.’

  ‘He’s just popped out to the car for his cigarettes, he shouldn’t be long.’ Livvy looked at the door. Where on earth was he? The car park was opposite the pub and should only have taken a minute or two. The barmaid picked up the empty glasses and went back to the bar.

  ‘Roy, where on earth have you been?’ Livvy asked him as he reappeared, gasping. ‘Why are you so out of breath?’

  ‘The ciggy packet was empty. I ran to the newsagent’s down the road for more.’

  ‘You could have bought some from here, there’s a machine over there.’

  ‘I didn’t see that,’ he said. ‘Would you like another drink?’

  ‘Please. The barmaid wants an autograph from you as well.’

  ‘You’re joking! Bloody hell, you can’t go anywhere.’ He shook his head, grinning broadly.

  The next couple of hours flew by as they enjoyed their meal and each other’s company. The age gap fell away as she informed him she was just twenty-two while Roy told her that at forty-two, he was old enough to be her father.

  As they left the pub he announced he needed the gents and handed her the car keys. She strolled across the road to the car park and unlocked the door to find the large teddy bear, with the blue and white spotted bow tie, sitting on the passenger seat. Tears filled her eyes as she picked him up. A little gift card was pinned to his front with the message, “Dear Livvy, I like plenty of kisses and cuddles, love Teddy. PS, so does Roy.”

  She turned to face Roy who had appeared behind her. The bear in one arm, she put her other arm around him and hugged him. Standing on tiptoe she pulled his face down and kissed him full on the lips.

  ‘Thank you so much. He’s the nicest present I’ve ever had in my life. So that’s where you disappeared to earlier?’

  Roy grinned. ‘Right, get in the car and we’ll take him home and find him a place on the end of your bed with your other bears.’

  Livvy sat the bear on her knee as Roy turned to face her and looked into her eyes. She swallowed hard as his hand gently stroked her cheek. Then she was in his arms, and he was kissing her as though his life depended on it. She responded, pushing against him, wanting more, but…

  ‘Livvy, baby, I want you,’ he whispered, holding her face between his hands.

  She stiffened and pulled away. He wanted her? Did he mean…? Was that the reason he’d asked her to lunch, the reason he’d bought her the bear? Did he do this all the time, to amuse himself while his wife was working? He probably had a string of girlfriends around town and she was about to join them. Well if that was the case he had a shock coming. It would take more than a sirloin steak and a teddy bear to get her into bed.

  Roy frowned, looking at her. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘You said you want me.’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘But you’re married.’

  ‘I know,’ he replied with a heavy sigh. ‘But it doesn’t stop me wanting you.’ He lifted her chin and smiled. ‘I know what’s going through your head. You think I do this all the time, don’t you?’

  She nodded. ‘And do you?’

  ‘I’ve never been unfaithful in all the years I’ve been married. Sammy has been the only woman I’ve ever wanted or needed - until now,’ he finished softly. ‘It’s the truth, Livvy, believe me.’

  She chewed her lip and stared at him. What he’d said made her feel better. Made her feel special. ‘Roy, I’ve never been with a man. I mean, I - err…’ she faltered, lowering her gaze.

  ‘You’ve never slept with anyone, not ever?’ his tone was incredulous. ‘Reall
y?’

  ‘I’m still a virgin,’ she mumbled. ‘I’m sorry.’

  He tilted her chin and looked into her eyes. ‘Why are you sorry?’

  ‘Because I’ve no experience. Does that matter to you?’

  ‘Not at all,’ he assured her. ‘But you won’t want an old geezer like me to be your first.’

  She touched his hand, feeling a strange tugging sensation in her tummy as he leant in to kiss her again. ‘Yes, I do,’ she whispered as they drew apart. ‘Let’s go back to my flat.’

  He started the engine and headed for home while Livvy held on tightly to her bear. Roy reached across and took her hand, squeezing it gently. He held it all the way home, letting it lie on his lap as he changed gear. On the car park at the front of the apartment block he parked beside her Mini.

  ‘Are you coming in?’ she asked him, feeling suddenly unsure. What if he thought she was being easy? She couldn’t fathom the look in his dark eyes as he stared into hers.

  ‘Only if you want me to.’

  ‘I do.’ She got out of the car and Roy locked up and followed her indoors.

  ***

  Livvy sat the bear on the sofa. She avoided Roy’s eyes and rushed into the kitchen, muttering that she would make a coffee. He followed her and stood close behind her.

  ‘Livvy.’ He pulled her round, put his hands on her shoulders and bent to kiss her.

  She responded, sliding her arms around his neck. He lifted her easily and sat her on the worktop.

  ‘That’s better,’ he said. ‘I won’t get such a crick in my neck now.’ He kissed her again, caressing her breasts through the fine cotton of her top. He undid the tiny buttons down the front and slipped it backwards over her shoulders. ‘No bra again,’ he said.

  ‘I hardly ever wear one. I’m so small, there doesn’t seem much point,’ she said. ‘Roy, pull the blind down. Someone from the opposite flats might be able to see in.’ She placed her hands modestly over her exposed breasts.

  He smiled and yanked down the blind. ‘Don’t knock your boobs. They look pretty good to me. Perfect, in fact.’ He bent to kiss her breasts, cupping them, his tongue flicking lightly over her nipples.

  She sighed as his hand slid up her skirt and she moaned softly as he caressed her through the soft lace of her knickers. He lifted her off the worktop and carried her to the bedroom. He lay her down on the bed, removed her skirt and sandals and quickly pulled off his own clothes.