'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  She sent them into the lounge and brought a tray of coffee and biscuits through. She looked at her Godson with pride. Such a handsome boy, Angie’s child had always held a special place in her heart.

  ‘Well, sunshine, I haven’t seen you for ages. What’s bothering you? You both look worried.’

  ‘Will you please tell me who my father is?’ Jon came straight to the point.

  Cathy swallowed hard. ‘Eddie of course. What a strange question to ask.’

  Jon looked at Jess who held the tin box on her knee. She pulled out the diaries. They had folded down the pages with the entries where Angie had written about her and Richard planning to tell Ed of Jon’s true parentage and the entry where she had first realised she was pregnant.

  Silently, Jess handed the diaries to Cathy who balked at the sight of her late friend’s handwriting. ‘Where did you get these?’

  ‘From Grandma Turner. They were locked away in that tin box,’ Jon replied.

  Cathy read through some of the entries, her eyes filling with tears.

  ‘So, Cathy, who is my father?’ Jon asked again. ‘Please tell me the truth.’

  ‘Richard Price,’ she whispered, not meeting his eye.

  Jon nodded, took Jess’s hand and kissed it, placing his other arm around her shoulders. Cathy stared at the pair.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Would you help us please, Cathy?’ he asked. ‘There’s no one else we can turn to.’

  ‘Of course, if I can. What is it?’

  ‘Jess and I are lovers,’ he began. ‘We thought we were in an incestuous relationship, which of course we knew was wrong. But if Eddie is definitely not my dad then we’re not breaking the law.’

  Cathy nodded. ‘I see. Richard was your father, Jon, that’s the truth. You and Jess are not blood related in any way. I presume Eddie and Jane are unaware of what’s going on between you?’

  Jon nodded. ‘I haven’t a clue how to tell Dad about what’s in the diaries. What do you know about Richard Price? Do you have any photographs of him?’

  Cathy went to a desk near the bay window. She opened a drawer, took out a box and handed Jon a photograph of Richard, Angie and himself as a small boy.

  Jess’s eyes opened wide. ‘Jon, you look exactly like him. Oh my God, it’s spooky! You and Dad won’t need blood tests!’

  ‘You do look like him, Jon,’ Cathy said. ‘Richard wasn’t much older then you are now when he died. You’re so alike you could be twins. I think we should call your Mum and Dad and ask them to come over. There’s a lot more you need to be told and I don’t think that’s up to me.’

  Cathy called Eddie and Jane, and without saying why, asked them to come over to the house as soon as they could.

  She sat down in front of Jon and Jess and smiled. ‘I suppose I’ve been dreading this for years, but I wasn’t expecting the added complication of the pair of you being lovers.’

  ‘How can we tell them about us, Cathy?’ Jon asked worriedly. ‘Dad will kill me for this, I just know he will.’

  ‘Well, here they are, so we’ll soon find out and if the worst comes to the worst, you’ll have to come and stay here with me and Carl for a while. Now don’t worry, let’s play it by ear. Listen first to what they’ve got to tell you, okay?’

  Cathy let in a puzzled Jane and Eddie.

  ‘Hi, Cathy,’ Jane said. ‘Is that Jon’s car on your drive? Are they here, Jon and Jess I mean?’

  Cathy nodded. ‘In the lounge. They know about Richard and Angie and want some answers,’ she whispered.

  ‘Oh shit!’ Eddie exclaimed. ‘How the fuck did they find out?’

  ‘They’ll explain, go on in,’ Cathy replied. ‘I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee.’

  ***

  ‘Hi, kids,’ Eddie greeted Jon and Jess. Jane followed him and sat down on the sofa opposite them. ‘So, what’s up? Come on, out with it.’

  ‘We’ve got Angie’s diaries, Dad. We’ve read most of them. Everything you told Jess is logged in them, exactly as you said it happened.’

  Eddie nodded and sat down next to Jane. ‘But there’s something else?’

  Jon sighed. ‘She says Richard Price is my father, not you.’

  Eddie swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. ‘Does she, son?’

  ‘You don’t seem surprised, Dad.’

  ‘I know that Richard was your biological father, Jon. I’ve known for a very long time, since you were four years old in fact. But it’s never made any difference to me. As far as I’m concerned, you are and always will be, my boy.’

  Jon stared, mouth open. ‘You’ve brought me up all these years knowing Angie conned you into believing you were my dad, and you just accepted it?’

  Eddie nodded. ‘What else could I do? I thought you were mine. I had every reason to believe you were mine. Why should I have treated you any differently when I found out the truth? It certainly didn’t alter my feelings for you.’

  Jess looked at her mum. Jane’s eyes were tear-filled as she took Eddie’s hand.

  ‘Jon, we both love you very much. When we discovered that Richard was your father we were devastated. But there was no way we could have let you go, even though we had no legal rights to you. Ed’s name’s on your birth certificate. No one was going to contest that and take you away from us. You were our little boy and we wanted to keep you. Maybe what we did was wrong. We denied you your real family, Richard’s family. But I don’t think that they even knew you existed. They still don’t, of course. It will be up to you if you want to try and trace them. Please don’t think too badly of Eddie and me for what we did.’

  Jon, tears streaming down his face, knelt in front of Jane and took her hand. ‘Mum, you and Dad have been the best parents any kid could have wished for. I love you very much. I don’t have any wish to get in touch with Richard’s family at all. Does anyone else know about this besides you two and Cathy?’

  ‘Roy, Sammy, Pat, Tim and Carl,’ Eddie replied. We made a pact not to tell a soul. It’s been the most closely guarded Raiders secret in the world. Not even your grandparents know.’

  Jon nodded and went back to sit beside Jess. He took her hand without thinking and Jane caught her breath. She smiled at the bewildered pair. ‘Now our secret’s out in the open, what about you two? Have you got something you’d like to share with us?’

  Jon nodded. ‘Yes. Me and Jess are in love.’

  Eddie looked at Jane, eyebrows raised in amazement. ‘You were right, as usual.’

  ‘Mum, you knew?’ Jess’s tone was incredulous.

  ‘I had my suspicions. I saw the way you looked at one another, the way you are so comfortable together. More like lovers than brother and sister, which of course you now know you’re not.’

  Jon and Jess looked at one another.

  ‘You’ll need to be discreet in front of the kids for now,’ Eddie said. ‘Until we think how we can explain this to them properly. Dom will have a holy fit if he thinks you end up with your sister for ever.’

  ‘Thanks for everything, Dad, Mum and you too, Cathy,’ Jon said as Cathy popped her head around the door.

  ‘Yes, thanks, Cathy,’ Eddie added. ‘I’ve always lived in dread of this day, as I know you have, but it’s not been half as bad as I was expecting it to be. Not even with the extra complication.’

  ‘You’re all very welcome,’ Cathy replied. ‘To be honest, I think the extra complication makes it easier for Jon to cope with.’

  Jon nodded. ‘I couldn’t give a toss about Richard Price and his family. My main concern has been for Jess. Now I know for sure that I’m not her half-brother, we can go home and start planning a future.’

  ‘Well, good luck to you all,’ Cathy smiled. ‘Life’s never dull at your place. How are things with Roy and Sammy, by the way?’

  ‘Oh, wonderful,’ Jane replied. ‘They’re together again. Roy’s moved back to Jasmine House. They’re planning to retake their marriage vows before Christmas.’

  Jess and J
on stared at Jane. ‘We’ve only been away since Tuesday and all this has happened, honestly? Jess asked.

  ‘Honestly, they’re really back together, thank goodness. Anyway, come on, let’s go home and we can talk some more.’

  ***

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  DECEMBER 1984

  Blinking back tears, Jane held Eddie’s hand as they sat side by side in the front pew of flower-bedecked Ashlea Church.

  Roy, wearing a cream linen suit and brown silk shirt, looked into Sammy’s eyes as he pledged his love. Sammy, blue eyes shining, looked every bit the blushing bride in her long, cream silk dress. A simple circle of cream rosebuds topped her shoulder length hair. She held a small bouquet of matching roses.

  Jane glanced along the pew at Dominic, who was quietly studying his hymn-book. Katie, next to him, was fidgeting as usual and twiddling her hair. Jess and Jon were seated either side of their siblings. Jane caught Jon’s eye and he winked. She winked back, noting how happy and relaxed he looked. Jess, smiling wistfully, was watching Sammy and Roy. On the surface, Jane thought Jess looked serene enough, but she knew that in her daughter’s mind was the knowledge that next weekend she would have been marrying Nick in this very church.

  Three weeks after the discovery of Angie’s diaries, Jon had revealed that Jess was pregnant. At almost ten weeks she was blooming and had developed a very rounded bump. Looking at her daughter’s profile now, Jane knew they had to tell people the truth sooner rather than later.

  Jane nodded at Bob and Irene Cantello across the church. Irene dabbed her eyes and gazed proudly at the happy couple. Tom and Molly Mason were seated behind them alongside Jason and Jules. Pat, Tim and their daughters, Cathy, Carl and Phil, were silently listening to the vicar blessing Roy and Sammy’s new rings.

  ***

  As the guests filed outside, cameras flashed and congratulations filled the air. Roy took Sammy’s hand and they went to Nick’s grave. She laid her bouquet by the newly engraved headstone and they stood quietly for a moment with their arms around each other.

  Roy brushed a hand across his eyes and whispered, ‘You okay?’

  She smiled through her tears and nodded.

  ‘Come on then. Keep smiling and make a beeline for the car.’

  A crowd of press photographers were waiting by the church gates as they ran to the vintage Rolls.

  ‘Can you tell us why you decided to retake your marriage vows, Roy,’ one called out, snapping away.

  ‘To show the world that I love my wife,’ Roy replied as he climbed into the car.

  ‘Is it true you had an affair with a girl half your age?’ another shouted.

  ‘No comment,’ Roy said as the Rolls pulled away.

  ‘Cheeky sod!’ Sammy muttered as she sank back into cream leather luxury. ‘How the hell did he find that out?’

  ‘God knows. But don’t let it spoil our day.’

  ‘What if they know about the baby?’

  ‘How can they? Livvy’s been sworn to secrecy and only close friends and family know it’s mine.’

  ‘Ours!’

  ‘Ours.’ he echoed and took her hand. ‘You still sure about it?’

  ‘I can’t wait.’

  Roy squeezed Sammy tightly. His thoughts returned to the week he’d moved back in with her. They’d paid a visit to Livvy. She made them coffee and outlined her plans. Afterwards Sammy sat back on the sofa, mug halfway to her mouth while he dropped his on the floor.

  Livvy calmly mopped the carpet then sat opposite, fingertips together and smiled.

  ‘Well, what do you think?’

  Roy gathered his wits first. ‘Olivia, do you realise what you’re saying?’

  ‘Yes, and I’ve thought long and hard about it. It makes perfect sense. Sammy and Jane suggested adoption. Who better than you two? You told me Sammy regrets not having more children. It might be a girl. Roy said you always wanted a daughter.’ She looked at Sammy.

  White faced, Sammy nodded.

  ‘Well there you are then, and before you say anything, this isn’t a whim. I can’t give it the upbringing you can. I’m going back to Glasgow after the birth. I don’t want to take it with me. I’d rather it go to you two than strangers.’

  Roy frowned. ‘For fuck’s sake, Livvy, this is our kid we’re discussing, not a bloody puppy!’

  ‘Exactly, ours, yours and mine! No matter how hard it will be to give it away, it will be harder still for me to raise it as a single parent. Please, Roy, can’t you see? It’s for the best all round.’

  Sammy chewed her lower lip and looked at Roy. ‘We need to go away and think about it. It’s not a decision we can make on the spot. I wasn’t expecting this at all. All we wanted to do was make sure you’re okay for money and support.’

  ‘I’m fine for both, thanks,’ Livvy replied. ‘I’m leaving this flat and moving into Sean and Tina’s spare bedroom next week. Tina said she’ll take care of me.’

  ‘I see,’ Sammy said. ‘You’ve got it all planned.’

  ‘I haven’t had much choice. You made that quite clear the other night. I accept that you and Roy want another go at making your marriage work. I need the chance of a fresh start, too.’

  Roy took a deep breath and stood up. ‘We’ll go now. Ed and Jane are expecting us for dinner. I’ll call you over the weekend when we’ve had a chance to discuss things.’

  Livvy nodded. ‘Fair enough. I’ll be here for a few more days and then you can contact me at Sean’s or work. I’ll see you out.’

  ‘Well,’ Sammy muttered as they made their way to the car. ‘That’s a turn up for the books!’

  ‘You can say that again. But it’s out of the question. We can’t bring the kid up.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because it wouldn’t be fair on you. I’ve put you through enough. I couldn’t expect you to raise the kid as well.’

  ‘I’d love to help you bring up your baby, Roy.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You heard! If she clears off back to Glasgow you’ll have sole custody and we can bring it up together. If she stays around and expects you to be a part of its life, then I’ll have no peace of mind.’

  ‘You’re really willing to do that for me?’ He pulled her close and kissed her. ‘You’re one hell of a woman, Sammy Cantello! If you’re sure, we’ll do it. But I want it all legal. I’ll see our solicitor and get him to draw up some sort of document. One where she gives up all rights. We’ll make her a one-off payment to help her get her life back on track. How does that sound?’

  Sammy nodded; eyes bright with tears. ‘Let’s go and tell Jane and Ed the news.’

  ‘What about your business and how will you cope when I’m on tour?’

  ‘We’ll cross all those bridges as and when we come to them.’

  ***

  Sammy turned to Roy as the Rolls purred to a halt outside The Grand.

  ‘You were miles away then. Not having second thoughts already, are you?’ she teased.

  ‘Not at all,’ he replied. ‘I was just thinking about the honeymoon and stuff.’

  ‘I can’t wait. Paris here we come!’ Sammy grinned, as Roy helped her out of the car.

  ‘It would have been nice to go further a field,’ he said. ‘But with the tour coming up and recording the new album, it will have to wait for another time.’

  ‘I don’t care. It will be so good to be away, just the two of us.’

  ‘I wonder if Sharon will be on reception,’ Roy said as they ran up the steps to the entrance doors.

  ‘What on earth will she make of all this!’ Sammy exclaimed as he swung her up into his arms and pushed open the door with his backside.

  ‘We’ll soon find out. Here she comes.’

  Sharon was awaiting the wedding party in the reception hall and her eyes widened.

  ‘Sharon, how nice to see you again,’ Roy greeted the bewildered girl. He put Sammy down. ‘Meet the wife.’

  ‘Don’t be confused,’ Sammy laughed. ‘We’ve ret
aken our wedding vows. The reception is booked under my maiden name of Hardy.’

  Sharon’s right hand flew to her breast. ‘Oh, Mr Cantello, err, Roy, that’s so romantic. I’ll show you to your function room. If you’d like to follow me.’

  They followed her down a corridor and into a large room and Sammy’s eyes lit up as she took in the elegant candle and floral displays that decorated the centre of each table. Pine garlands, strung with twinkling fairy lights and red and gold bows, festooned the top table. A large decorated tree took pride of place in the corner of the room, beside a grand piano.

  ‘It all looks very beautiful,’ Sammy nodded. ‘We’re really lucky it’s almost Christmas. We’ve got all the extra trimmings.’

  Sharon smiled. ‘It looks stunning, doesn’t it? I’ll leave you now and get back to reception to direct your guests as they arrive.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Roy replied. He turned to Sammy as Sharon departed and took her in his arms. ‘Are you happy, Mrs C?’

  ‘Very,’ she replied. ‘But we mustn’t forget that next week would have been Nick and Jess’s wedding day.’

  ‘I know,’ Roy nodded. ‘I said a silent prayer for him and one for Jess, too. I wonder what was going through her mind as she was watching us.’

  Sammy swallowed and shook her head. ‘I honestly don’t know. She’s been through the mill lately. But she’s got a good future with Jon. He adores her and they’ve got the baby to look forward to. They’ll be just fine.’

  ***

  ‘Congratulations, you two,’ Jane greeted the pair as she and Eddie strolled in with their family.

  ‘Thanks! Grab a drink,’ Sammy said, grinning with delight