'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘No one. Grandma gave me Angie’s diaries. Except of course she has no idea that she gave them to me. They were locked away in a tin box that was stored in another box of Angie’s belongings. With hindsight, it’s probably as well, considering the information they contained. Dad, Mum and Cathy confirmed everything she’d written.’

  ‘I had no idea she kept diaries,’ Sally replied, her face pale. ‘It must have been a terrible shock for you, Jon. I know that it was for me. But you are so like Richard that I knew I couldn’t be mistaken.’

  ‘It knocked me for six,’ Jon admitted. ‘But to be honest, it’s the best thing that could have happened for Jess and me.’

  Sally looked puzzled as Jon took Jess’s hand and laced his fingers through hers.

  ‘This will come as another shock. Jess is expecting my baby.’

  Sally sat back on her chair, mouth agape. She quickly composed herself and shook her head. ‘Well, I can see she’s expecting, but I didn’t think… Oh, Jon, how have your parents taken it?’

  ‘They’re fine,’ he replied. ‘Mum suspected something was going on between us and they already knew that Richard was my father. It’s just a pity they didn’t tell us, it would have saved a lot of worry.’

  Sally nodded. ‘I expect they did what they thought was best at the time. What about you two, were you already involved before you found out you weren’t related?’

  Jon smiled sheepishly. ‘Yes. We planned on leaving the area so that we could live together.’

  Sally sighed and shook her head. ‘If our Angie weren’t already dead, I swear I’d throttle her for her lies and deceit! It’s had such far reaching consequences for years.’

  ‘To be honest, Sally, she was terrified of telling anyone,’ Jess said. ‘Her diaries tell the tale of a very mixed-up teenager who got involved with Richard and ended up pregnant after a one-night stand.’

  ‘She should never have deceived Eddie. That was very wrong of her and to keep up that deceit when she realised Jon was Richard’s was unforgivable,’ Sally said.

  ‘We know,’ Jon smiled. ‘But she was my Mum and at the end of the day she was so young. Look what I’ve done. I’m my mother’s son all right! But I can put all those wrong things to bed and forgive Angie for everything now. Because of what she did I can now rightfully marry my “sister”! There’s just one more thing, Sally.’ He grinned as she looked enquiringly at him.

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Who’s going to tell Grandma?’

  ‘Oh my Lord!’ Sally exclaimed. ‘Do we have to?’

  ‘Well she wants us to visit her again and we’d love to, but Jess can’t hide her bump. Not only that, we plan to marry next year. She’ll have to be told sometime.’

  Sally puffed out her cheeks and shook her head. ‘I’ll do it. You two youngsters have got quite enough on your plates. Leave it with me. I’ll let you know how I get on.’

  ‘Will you come to our wedding and the christening?’ Jess asked.

  ‘I’d love to. It’s a chance to buy a new hat.’

  Two weeks after the visit they received a letter from Jon’s grandmother. Enclosed was a cheque for five hundred pounds to put towards a pram, cot and whatever else they needed. She congratulated them, said she wasn’t surprised as she’d guessed they had feelings for each other and wasn’t it as well that Richard was Jon’s father and not Eddie. She admitted to being shocked at first, but was now looking forward to her great-grandchild and the wedding.

  Jess waved the cheque in front of her father.

  ‘She’s obviously mellowed in her old age,’ he responded, reading the letter Jon handed to him. ‘There are no recriminations, or “how could you’s?” Jon, you are obviously her blue-eyed boy.’

  ‘Don’t you mean green?’ Jon quipped as Jess laughed at them.

  ‘At least you don’t have to sell your drum-kit like poor Dad did to buy you a cot and pram,’ she said.

  A scratching at the bedroom door broke Jess’s daydreams. Lennon pushed his way in, jumped up on the bed and held out his paw.

  ‘Hello, old fella. Do you want some toast?’ She broke off a corner and scratched his silky ears. ‘There won’t be much room in the bed for you to snuggle up to me soon if the baby keeps on growing at this rate.’

  ***

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  FEBRUARY 1985

  The Raiders UK tour began with a gig at The Apollo Theatre in their home city of Manchester. The venue was sold out over two nights. Their family members, who occupied most of the circle’s front row, attended the first night’s show. Sean, Tina, and a heavily pregnant Livvy were seated close by.

  Support act, Perry’s Dream opened the show. When the handsome James Perry stepped into the spotlight Jon nudged Jess.

  ‘If you hadn’t got involved with me, Dad could have introduced you to him later.’

  ‘I think he’ll be more interested in Jason and Jules than me,’ she whispered.

  ‘You’re probably right there.’ Jon squeezed her hand.

  Perry’s Dream finished their spot with the number one hit Let’s Love a While Longer, written by Roy and Eddie, and took a bow. As they left the stage the theatre lights came up and Katie tapped her feet impatiently.

  ‘When’s Dad coming on?’

  ‘Soon,’ Jon replied. ‘Just be patient and don’t speak with your mouth full. You’re spitting popcorn everywhere.’

  ‘I’m tired,’ Dominic complained. ‘Can we go home?’

  Jon rolled his eyes. Their dad’s fame washed completely over Katie and Dominic’s heads. But then again, they’d only ever known him as Daddy who was home all day and looked after them. ‘We can’t go home yet, Dom. Dad would be really disappointed if we missed the show. Have a Jelly Baby and pass one to Katie and Abby. When the lights go down again the group will come on stage.’

  Dominic sighed and sat back on his seat. He pulled a cellophane bag from his jacket pocket and begrudgingly held it out to his sister and Abby. ‘Only take one each,’ he said to Katie who grabbed a handful.

  ‘You’re such a meanie with your sweeties,’ she said. ‘You’ve eaten nearly all Abby’s popcorn and she didn’t complain.’

  ‘Don’t you two start,’ Jane said as the lights dimmed and a hush fell over the audience.

  Katie leapt to her feet, sweeties forgotten for the moment. ‘Is it now? Is Daddy on now?’

  A ripple of amusement sounded as people turned to look at the excited little girl.

  ‘Yes, Katie, any minute,’ Jane said.

  In the dark, silent theatre the audience held its breath. A small circle of light fell on the stage and picked out a hand, poised to strike a chord on a white Fender Stratocaster.

  Sammy’s breath caught in her throat as Roy’s hand crashed down on the strings and coloured spotlights picked out the members of The Raiders as they launched into their raunchy rocker, You Give Me That Feeling.

  The theatre erupted; as for the first time in over twenty years the band belted out their old number one hit in time-honoured fashion. Katie, Kim and Abby were up on their feet, clapping and dancing. Jane, Sammy, Pat and Cathy breathed a collective sigh of relief and smiled at one another as the song ended to tumultuous applause.

  ***

  ‘They’re back!’ Sammy grinned.

  ‘They look wonderful in those cream suits,’ Cathy said. ‘Thank God they decided on the brown shirts and not the pink. Carl looks hideous in pink with his red hair.’

  ‘They look almost fanciable from up here!’ Jane laughed.

  Roy stepped forward, a big smile splitting his face. ‘The next song is our new single and will be on sale from next week.’

  I’m Gonna Change the World was a slightly slower tempo and it was the first time the girls had heard the group perform it.

  ‘Number one that! I bet you anything,’ Sammy whispered to Jane. ‘It’s fabulous when you hear it properly.’

  ‘I reckon you might be right about number one,’ Jane said, clapping along to th
e song. Eddie was drumming and shaking his head from side to side with the rhythm. He looked exactly the same as he’d always done, except he no longer had a floppy fringe to flick from his eyes. Roy was on top form, dancing around, and cracking jokes with the audience when the number ended. He handed his guitar to the roadie for a string replacement as requests for favourite Raiders songs flew thick and fast.

  The band ran through their repertoire, playing their own songs and a selection of Rock’n’Roll favourites.

  ‘Will they sing My Special Girl?’ Katie asked.

  ‘Of course they will,’ Jess replied.

  ‘Because I’m Daddy’s special girl now that you’ve got Jon,’ Katie said smugly, folding her arms.

  ‘We’re all special to Dad,’ Jess replied, smiling at Jon.

  As the show drew to a close and the audience members, who had left their seats to dance in the aisles, went to sit down, Roy squinted up at the circle and waved at Sammy.

  ‘Our final song tonight is the very first hit we ever had way back in 1965. Eddie and I wrote it for three very special ladies. Tonight, we sing it not just for our three special girls, but also for our daughters and special girls everywhere.’

  Sammy felt the familiar tears start. She glanced at Jane and Pat who were wiping away their own tears. She looked at Jess and Jon who were holding hands, and smiled at Abby, Katie and Kim, who were sitting on the edge of their seats as though knowing that the song was being sung just for them.

  ***

  Livvy, sitting next to Sean, put her hand protectively over the wriggling bump that she was so sure was a girl and whispered, ‘This is for you too, Harley. That’s your Daddy out there singing for you.’

  Sean smiled. ‘This was always mine and Tina’s favourite.’

  The audience erupted again as the beautiful ballad came to an end. The whole theatre was on its feet, clapping, whistling, stamping and cheering as The Raiders assembled at the front of the stage and took a bow.

  ***

  Roy turned to Eddie and flung his arm across his shoulders. ‘That was brilliant. But I’m absolutely knackered!’

  ‘Me too,’ Eddie nodded, ‘and we’ve got the encore to do yet.’

  ‘I need a pee first,’ Roy whispered as they filed off stage while the audience yelled MORE!

  ‘Phew.’ Carl grinned delightedly. ‘That went down great. ‘God, I feel fantastic.’

  ‘So do I,’ Phil said as Roy disappeared into the toilet. ‘You almost had me in tears out there, Roy.’

  ‘Why?’ Roy called from behind the closed door.

  ‘All that sob stuff about special girls. Laura and our daughters are here tonight. I gave her a pass for later, so I hope they’ll come and meet the rest of you.’

  Roy re-appeared, zipping up his flies. ‘Come on then, let’s rock some more and then we can grab something to eat and drink backstage. Summertime Blues, here we come!’

  They ran back on stage and took their places, launching into the old Rock’n’Roll classic with renewed vigour. Ending on a triumphant note they bowed and waved their way off stage.

  As they peeled off their damp clothes and changed into jeans and T-shirts, their agent and manager Frank James strolled into the dressing room, carrying a crate of champagne.

  ‘Come on, lads, there’s a crowd of women out there, claiming they’re all someone’s special girl. Come and sort out whose is whose.’

  Roy grinned and led the way to the hospitality area where a cold buffet awaited along with a crowd of pressmen and photographers. After giving a brief interview and posing for photographs, the group greeted their families and tucked hungrily into the food.

  Sammy flung her arms around Roy and kissed him. ‘You were all brilliant. I’m so proud of you, darling.’

  ‘I’m knackered, Sam,’ he replied wearily. ‘God only knows how I’ll cope with the whole tour. Believe it or not, all I want to do right now is go home and go to bed - to sleep - I might add.’

  ‘That’s not like you, Roy,’ she said, handing him a glass of champagne. ‘You were always at your most randy after a gig!’

  ‘I know, love. That’s what worries me. I’m getting old, Sam.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. You’re in your prime. Livvy’s over there with Sean and Tina. We should go and say hello, ask how she’s feeling. She looks really pale tonight. She’s only got a week to go now.’

  Frowning, Roy turned to look across to where Livvy was standing. He caught her eye and she raised her hand. ‘She does look pale,’ he said worriedly and crossed the room to Livvy’s side, Sammy following.

  ‘Hi, Liv.’ He smiled at her. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine thanks,’ Livvy grimaced. ‘Well, I think I am. I feel very uncomfortable, like it’s going to drop out any minute.’

  ‘Is that normal?’ Roy turned to Sammy.

  ‘Perfectly normal,’ Sammy nodded. ‘You men don’t know you’re born! Why don’t you sit down, Livvy? You look really tired. Come on, I’ll sit with you and Roy can wait on us hand and foot. There are some chairs over there.’

  As Sammy led the way a gush of water shot down Livvy’s legs and splashed onto the floor. She pulled on Sammy’s sleeve and whispered, ‘My waters have broken.’

  Sammy quickly took charge. ‘Keep calm, let me go and find Jane. We came in the Jeep. We can use it to get you to hospital.’ She turned to a worried looking Roy. ‘Stay with Livvy. I’ll go and explain what’s happening to those who need to know.’

  ***

  Sammy dashed across to Jane. ‘Livvy’s waters have broken. We need to get her out of here. Can you take us to the hospital right now?’

  ‘Of course. Just let me tell Ed where I’m going and then he can see to the kids. Grab a handful of clean towels from the lads’ dressing room and meet me by the stage doors.’

  Sammy got the towels and went back to Roy and Livvy, who were both looking terrified. Between them they helped Livvy out of the crowded room and down a corridor followed by Sean and Tina.

  ‘What if there are fans waiting at the stage-door?’ Roy said.

  ‘Oh God, I never thought of that,’ Sammy replied. ‘Well, they’ll be looking for autographs, won’t they? You’ll just have to sign a few programmes while Jane and I settle Livvy in the Jeep, and then you can make a run for it. Just divert their attentions away from what we’re doing.’

  ‘Okay,’ Roy muttered as Livvy let out a howl of pain.

  Tina frowned and took her hand. ‘You’ve been having pains all night, haven’t you?’

  Livvy nodded. ‘All day really, but I didn’t want to miss the show. I need to go to Sean’s house for my case,’ she told Sammy.

  ‘It’s okay, we can do that,’ Roy said as a screech of brakes sounded outside the doors. ‘Here’s Jane.’

  Sean opened the doors a crack and peered out. ‘It is Jane and there aren’t that many people outside. It’s chucking it down, so that will have seen a lot of them off. Drape a towel over your head, Roy and make a run for it. Jane’s got the car doors open. Go on quick, we’ll see to Livvy.’

  Roy did as he was told and threw himself into the back of the Jeep. Sammy handed him the towels and told him to spread them across the seat. Then she and Sean helped Livvy to clamber up next to Roy.

  ‘Me and Tina will go home now,’ Sean said. ‘The doors have shut behind us anyway, so we can’t go back to the party. Call as soon as there’s any news.’

  ‘We will, thanks for your help,’ Jane said as she and Sammy climbed into the front of the Jeep.

  ‘Get your foot down, Jane,’ Roy said as Livvy yelled again.

  ‘Ow-ow-ow-ow-SHIT! ’ she screamed, clutching Roy’s hand.

  ‘It’s okay, Livvy, it’s okay, I’m here,’ Roy said soothingly as Jane sped off down the road.

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Roy,’ Livvy yelled. ‘It’s not okay - it hurts like hell - and the water’s still running out all over Jane’s car!’

  ‘Don’t worry about that, it’ll clean up,’ Jane said. ‘I wish
I had a blue flashing light so we could skip through the lights.’ She headed towards Sean and Tina’s place to collect the case. Roy chatted to Livvy to try and keep her mind off her pains, which suddenly seemed to be coming very quickly.

  ‘I don’t think we’ve time to get to the hospital,’ Jane whispered to Sammy.

  ‘We have to, she’s booked in there,’ Sammy replied with a look of panic.

  ‘That baby’s going to be here any minute. I’m telling you, Roy will be delivering it himself.’ Jane stopped the Jeep next to a phone box and turned to look at Livvy’s distorted face. ‘Call an ambulance and the hospital, Sam. Let them know she’s on the way.’

  ‘I need to push!’ Livvy yelled as Sammy leapt out of the car and ran to the phone box.

  Jane climbed over the seats into the back. ‘Get behind her shoulders, Roy and support her properly while I have a look what’s happening.’

  Looking worried to death, Roy moved quickly, pulling Livvy round so that she was lying against him. She was crying and sobbing, saying she wanted to push as Jane peeled off her wet trousers and underwear and gasped with shock.

  ‘She does want to push, Roy the head’s crowning.’

  ‘Is it? Oh, Jesus Christ!’ Roy said. ‘What the fuck does that mean? You’ve had three, Jane you must know what to do!’

  Jane looked at his stricken face. ‘Yeah, Roy, but I was at the other end!’

  Sammy ran back, opened the passenger door and climbed aboard, taking in the scene. ‘The ambulance is on its way,’ she told them.

  ‘So’s the baby, the heads nearly out,’ Jane replied. ‘We’ll just have to cope the best we can. Roy I’ll need your T-shirt to wrap it in. Pull it over his head, Sam, if you can reach him.’

  Sammy knelt up on her seat and leant over. She yanked Roy’s T-shirt off as Livvy screamed again and pushed hard at Jane’s instructions.

  Roy held Sammy’s gaze, his eyes echoing the fear in hers. He whispered silently, ‘Please, God, don’t let me lose another child.’

  At fifteen minutes past midnight, Harley Nicola Cantello slithered into the world, seconds before the ambulance arrived. Jane breathed a sigh of relief as the tiny bundle opened her rosebud mouth and wailed in protest. For her father it was all too much and he fainted clean away.