And Once More Saw The Stars

by Rae Magdon

  “You will if you want your name to live on in the world above,” Lilith said. “The great Antaeus doesn’t deserve to be forgotten by men. You defeated all who challenged you before Heracles, and if you had fought with your brothers at Olympus, we might live in the age of giants instead of men. We can make your name famous again on Earth.”

  At first, Eva thought Antaeus would not help them. He straightened his spine, towering above them again as his head rose. But then his hand extended, so large that both of them could easily fit in his palm. Eva stepped over the edge of his thumb, her feet barely sinking into his calloused flesh as she tried not to fall. With a nauseating lurch, they were dragged up into the air.

  Eva closed her eyes as the world shifted. It was like riding on Geryon’s back all over again, and she thought she might pass out. Suddenly, the lifting stopped, and her stomach nearly dropped out through her feet as Antaeus began to lower them over the edge of the cliff. She opened her eyes again, and she caught a glimpse of blinding, frozen whiteness rising up toward them. Finally, the giant’s hand crashed to the ground, making her entire body jolt as she fell onto her back. She felt slightly better when she glanced over and saw Lilith in the same predicament, struggling to pick herself back up.

  “I hate him,” Lilith muttered as she staggered out of Antaeus’s hand, not even bothering with a thank-you.

  “Then why did you ask him to lower us down?” she asked. She was relieved to find that she could open her mouth without being sick.

  “The others are worse. Besides, their arms are chained to the side of the wall. Look.”

  Eva followed Lilith’s gesturing hand with her eyes, and she gasped. The great chains on the other giants were melded with the rock of the cliffs, offering them no chance of escape. Towering sheets of ice climbed up their legs, freezing them to the ground. As she hurried to climb out of Antaeus’s hand and join Lilith, the bare soles of her feet met the smooth surface of a frozen lake. She shuddered. She could guess the Ninth Circle’s punishment, and it frightened her even more than the fiery tombs of the Sixth Circle. A tomb of ice was one of the most horrifying things she could imagine.

  “Follow me,” Lilith said softly, taking her hand again. “It isn’t far to Judecca.” The flat expanse of the lake was edged with frost, but perfectly clear, and Eva could see straight down into the endless depths beneath her feet. “And what are we going to do when we get to Judecca?” she asked, shivering slightly as cold gusts of air bit at her naked flesh.

  “I still haven’t figured that part out yet. Shaitan will try to tempt me. He knows all of my weaknesses, all of my doubts.” Lilith lowered her eyes for a moment. “All of my sins.”

  She let go of Lilith’s hand, reaching out to stroke the side of her face. “You didn’t waver in the Second Circle when Cleopatra tempted you. You didn’t turn back in the Third Circle when Cerberus spoke to you. Even the Eighth Circle didn’t break you, and I’m sure that was another of his games. You’re strong enough to face him.”

  Lilith’s cheek pressed further into her palm. “You were the strong one. You kissed me to free me from Cleopatra. You stood beside me when Shaitan tried to fill me with doubt. You pulled me up out of despair. You see something… some goodness in me that I can’t always find in myself. I was wrong to tell you to stay behind. I never would have gotten this far without you.”

  Eva smiled. “That’s why I came.” She stood on tip-toe to brush a kiss over the edge of Lilith’s lips. A low moan drifted out across the lake, interrupting the moment, and she pulled closer to Lilith’s side. “What was that?” she breathed, even though part of her already knew. When Lilith did not answer, she looked down. The surface of the Cocytus had looked flat at first, like miles of unbroken glass, but now, she could see flaws in its surface. A tuft of hair, a pair of wild eyes, gritted stumps of teeth. She flinched away, recoiling in disgust.

  They were heads. Thousands upon thousands of them, embedded in the surface of the lake. Eva forced herself to look closer. The souls moaning at their feet did have a few inches of room, but they were frozen up to their chins, trapped forever in unyielding ice. She could see the shapes of their bodies beneath them, twisted into impossible contortions.

  “These are the lucky ones,” Lilith said. “At least they breathe, and even speak their names. The souls in Judecca are completely frozen over.”

  “I don’t want to look at them.” Eva turned her face away, swallowing harshly as some of her sickness returned. She hurried forward, glancing down only occasionally to make sure she did not step on any of the trapped souls beneath her feet. Fortunately, they were clustered together in patches, with stretches of open space between them.

  “That was Caina,” Lilith told her. “Cain’s was the second soul that Shaitan took for his own. The first ring punishes traitors to their family.”

  Eva shuddered. “I can’t think of anything worse than betraying your family.”

  “What about betraying your country? We’re walking through Antenora now.” She gestured at a new patch of souls trapped in the lake. Like the others, they were frozen up to their chins, and some of them called out wordlessly as they passed, desperate for someone, anyone, to hear their torment. Eva tried not to look at their twisted faces, but she could not block out their cries.

  After a while, the sound began to fade away, and the heads sank lower and lower into the ice. At first, only their faces were exposed to the air, and she could see puffs of hot breath rising like steam from their mouths. Further on, even those were sealed over, turning the sinners into little more than statues. Their throats were frozen up, robbing them of their ability to speak, but their mouths hung open in gaping, silent screams, and their eyes darted about in terror. Eva wished that the screams of agony were back. Except for Lilith’s voice and the sound of their feet stepping over the ice, the sound seemed sucked out of the air around them. “Please, Lilith, keep talking,” she said, not wanting to lose herself in the unbearable quiet.

  “We just passed Ptolomea. Traitors to their guests are punished there. And this… This is Judecca. The ring that punishes traitors to their lords and benefactors.” She paused, staring, staring at the red sky. “Since I betrayed God, I should have been sent here. I was cursed to roam the Earth forever instead.”

  Eva stared down at the twisted bodies frozen into the lake, and then at Lilith. “But you weren’t.” She forced herself not to imagine Lilith trapped beneath the ice. “You asked to be forgiven. You don’t deserve to be here.”

  Lilith gave her a soft, hesitant smile, and suddenly, she felt a little warmer. “When you say it, I believe it.”

  Eva let her fingers brush along the naked underside of Lilith’s arm, relieved just to feel the heat of her skin. “When you get your soul back, you’ll believe it for yourself. Until then, you can borrow mine.”

  As they passed over the petrified souls, the ice beneath them began to angle downward, forcing them to slow their pace. Her feet skidded forward slightly with every step, and Lilith hurried to offer her a steadying arm. Soon, the slope broke off into a jagged, uneven set of frosted steps leading down into the maw of a gaping blue hole. Screaming gusts of wind rose from the pit, nearly strong enough to blow them backwards.

  “Hold tight,” Lilith said, folding her wings as close to her body as possible as she pulled them forward. Eva narrowed her eyes against the stinging air. Her hair whipped against her face, catching in her mouth, but she pushed it aside and lowered herself onto the first step. Together, they descended into the pit. She tried to clear her mind by counting each step. One. Two. Five. Seven. Ten. Twelve. Thirteen.

  When she set her foot onto the last step, the wind died away. They were in a hollowed cavern formed entirely of ice, surrounded by a strange, blue-black glow. More souls were buried in the walls, expressions of terror on their faces. “Where are we?” Eva asked, staring up at the arched roof of the cave. After the steps, it rose up
sharply into blackness, and she could not see its end.

  “At the end of the world,” a smooth voice made of many voices answered. Eva felt Lilith jolt beside her, and she looked back down to see a hauntingly familiar face. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  Canto XXII:

  “’Vexilla Regis prodeunt Inferni’

  Towards us; therefore look in front of thee,”

  My Master said, “if thou discernest him.”

  Lilith’s heart stopped. Standing before her was a perfect copy of Eva. It had the same skin, the same hair, but there was only coldness in its eyes. Her stomach dropped. She knew that Shaitan could change forms, but she had not expected this.

  “I have followed you through the Nine Circles,” the Other-Eva said. Although it looked the same, its voice was anything but familiar. Instead, it was a strange twist of layers, male and female, loud and soft. “I have to admit, I am impressed. Almost no one descends this far into the pit, especially for something as trivial as a soul. I am curious...what drove you so far, Lilith of Judecca?”

  Lilith flinched at the name. “I am not of Judecca, or of Sheol, or of you anymore,” she said, but there was a slight break in her voice, and pain lodged in her throat. “I am of Earth, and when I take my soul back, I will be of Shamayim.”

  Eva’s doppelganger stepped forward, close enough to reach out and touch both of them, but its arms stayed at its sides. “You have always been mine, Lilith. I’ve owned your soul for thousands of years, since the fall of Gan Edhen. What makes you think you can reclaim it now?”

  “Because it’s mine, too.” Eva spoke up beside her, and though her words were soft, they remained steady and unshaking. “Lilith’s soul belongs to me, to her, and to God. You have no claim on it anymore.”

  Lilith winced at the sound of hollow laughter that came from the Other-Eva’s mouth. She stared into the depths of its face, but found only emptiness. “I’m impressed with how far you managed to descend, human,” it said, “but your presence here only proves that Lilith’s soul belongs to me.” It turned to her, its smile burning with cold. “And you, Lilith. You claim that you have broken free of me, but you make yourself in my image, leading your own pet through Sheol on a leash. How is that any different than what you were to me? You don’t just belong to me. You’ve become me.”

  For a moment, Lilith faltered. Her legs shook, threatening to spill her onto her knees. The throbbing in her head began again, a constant red pulse that threatened to wrap its way around her thoughts, but it was interrupted when the warmth of a steadying hand closed around her forearm. “You haven’t,” Eva whispered, and her mind felt a little clearer.

  She straightened her spine again. “No. I’m not you. I will never be like you again. Take your own shape back, and return my soul to me. It isn’t yours anymore.”

  “Does this form not please you, Lilith?” it asked, the layers of its voice coiling around her chest and constricting. “It’s not so different than the one I used to seduce you the first time.” Lilith struggled to pull in each breath, trying to focus on Eva’s touch. She shook her head. “They call me the Prince of Lies. I know one when I hear it. But, if you would prefer something else…”

  The figure in front of them began to ripple, growling taller and broadening at the shoulders. Horns sprouted from tossed dark hair, and its flesh darkened to a deep red. It only took a moment for it to steal her form, right down to her pointed teeth and the black, forked tongue in her mouth. It smiled with its new lips. “You know,” Lilith heard her other-self say, “I feel much more comfortable in this body. I think I’ll use it from time to time.”

  “I’m tired of your stupid games!” she shouted. The pain in her head spiked as she threw off Eva’s hand and unfurled her wings. “Return my soul to me, or I’ll take it from you.”

  “You don’t need your soul.” The Other-Lilith’s eyes flashed an eerily familiar white, and it reached out to touch her cheek, fingertips grazing the shape of her jaw. Eva reach out to swat the hand away, but she froze in mid-strike, rooted to the floor of the cavern. When Lilith moved toward her, she found that she was trapped as well. “Become mine again, Lilith of Judecca. I can give you everything you crave, everything you desire.”

  The splitting headache faded to a dull, almost pleasant pressure. Lilith stared forward, seeing nothing except for her own face. It wavered between both of her forms, shimmering like a reflection in a pool as it shifted from demon to human and back again. “I know every facet of you, my child,” her other-self said. “I’ve watched you from the beginning. Guided your footsteps as you walked among the humans.”

  Lilith saw herself flicker out, and for a moment, Cleopatra’s dark eyes threatened to swallow her. “I know the lust that drives you to claim your thralls. I know the force that helped rule Egypt, drawing from thousands of willing slaves and casting them aside when they were empty.” She shuddered and tried to flinch away from her old lover, but there was a heavy fullness between her legs, driving her to take. Her clit throbbed, and wetness trailed over the burning flesh of her thigh. She bit into her lip until the sharp pain helped pull her mind back.

  Cleopatra disappeared, and Lilith was forced to stare at her own face again. “I know the endless hunger you feel. Your constant need to feed. Your pet will never be enough to satisfy your emptiness. You will always need more.” An unearthly howl exploded in her ears, and Lilith screamed as the pit of her stomach opened up into a gaping hole. “And you will need a kingdom again. Assyria, Babylon, Greece, Rome, France… Multitudes to worship you. To worship us.” Sharp pain sliced her hands, and Lilith realized that her claws had gouged into her palms, grasping at the empty air in front of her.

  The pressure in her head came back, pounding relentlessly and clouding her eyes with red. She watched as her living reflection snarled, its upper lip curled back over the sharp points of its teeth. The words came faster, spitting out and coated in venom. “You were cursed to walk the earth alone for thousands of years, exiled, banished from your home for your rightful defiance. And why? Because you did not like the destiny forced on you! Because you would bend to no one’s will but your own!”

  Lilith was overwhelmed. Hot, searing tongues of fire ate through her skin, and she lashed out, trying to strike the mocking face in front of her. It broke apart like tendrils of mist before sealing back together. “Your Master never loved you,” the overlapping voice whispered, suddenly soft and sympathetic. “He only loves punishing his creations for what they are. For what you are. He only created you to torment you.”

  Lilith legs buckled, and she fell to her knees, bitter tears running in rivers over her cheeks. She tried to shape words with her mouth, but they wouldn’t come, and her lips moved soundlessly as her throat burned. Other-Lilith continued. “You defied Him once. You were the first, except for me. You can do it again. You can take control of your own destiny and cut down anyone who tries to stop you. You are strong. Everyone else is weak.”

  A loud scraping sound split in Lilith’s ears, and her claws scored the ice beneath her hands. Her own reflection splintered for a moment, but it reformed, leering at her through the glassy floor of the cave. “Become mine again, Lilith of Judecca. Your soul is more than a fair trade for everything you desire. I’ll even let you keep your new pet. You can have her whenever you like.”

  It would be easy. So easy to slip back into her old skin. The temptation rested sweetly over her tongue. She could even keep her lover. She wouldn’t lose anything...

  “Give me her soul. Let me keep yours. We will build our own destiny.”

  Lilith remembered holding Eva’s hand. Her fingers fluttered at the memory, twitching once.

  …but she would lose. Not just anything, but everything. She closed her eyes, refusing to look at her own face. Instead, she pictured Eva. Every detail was sharp in her mind. The movement of her lips. The brightness of her eyes. The soft waves of her hair. Som
ehow, she found strength. One of her words came back, the only word she needed.

  “No.”

  “No?” The word boomed from her other-self’s mouth, echoing loud enough to shake the icy walls of the cavern. A cold, bitter wind tore over Lilith’s body, sending her flying backwards as the image of herself exploded outwards, growing and growing and growing. Its shadow loomed over them, filling the cave and spreading along the walls, casting them into darkness.

  As she tried to stagger upright, a warm, sure hand clutched her wrist. For a moment, she saw Eva fighting against the wind, trying to pull her to her feet, but then both of them slipped on the smooth surface of the lake, falling into a tangled heap. They scrambled backwards on their hands, pushing away from the pillar of darkness that rose from the ice. It solidified, and Lilith stopped breathing.

  A giant loomed above her, greater even than Antaeus, who had been able to cup both of them in his hand. Its torso was human, or had been once, but it was frozen into the lake, showing only the top of the creature’s broad chest. Six wings arched from its back, flapping constantly as if it was trying to pull free of its prison, and three separate heads leered down at them. The left was black and rotting, with peeled-open skin, and the right head was a sickly, ghoulish sort of yellow. Both of them merged and melted into the middle face, which was a bright, boiling red with brilliant white eyes. A small, pale body wriggled in each mouth, legs kicking out in desperation, but if they screamed, the sound was lost in the beating of their tormentor’s wings.

  There were three blasts of icy breath, and the three tiny bodies were blown in either direction, ripping through the air before they landed in twisted, crumpled heaps of blood and ribboned flesh on the ground. The creature lifted its heads and raised its arms, letting out a roar that shook the frozen bed of ice beneath them. “Behold Dis! The true Master of Heaven and Earth! You have denied me twice, Lilith of Judecca. There will not be a third time!”