And Once More Saw The Stars

by Rae Magdon

  Its giant hands swung down like bludgeons, shattering the ice to pieces and gathering it in like a wet pile of sand, dragging Lilith forward. She tried to climb away, but the blasts of air from its wings kept her on her back. Trapped against the broken shards, she clung to Eva as the great claws lifted, preparing to come down again. The seconds stretched out. Lilith unfurled her wings, clutching Eva’s shoulders tight, but she did not pull her into an embrace. Instead, she pushed out with all of her strength, sending her tumbling down the small mountain of ice.

  Canto XXIII:

  “Rise up,” the Master said, “upon thy feet;

  The way is long, and difficult the road,

  And now the sun to middle-tierce returns.”

  Eva opened her eyes. At first, the only color she saw was white. Instinctively, she reached out for Lilith, seeking solid flesh, but she only came up with handfuls of wet snow. She tried to sit up, searching for a streak of red, but another wave of dizziness blurred her vision. She blinked, staring at the hole where she had been moments before. It sank several feet into the ice, and Lilith was sprawled at the bottom, still and unmoving.

  Darkness reached over her as Shaitan’s laughter rang through the cave. He stretched up to a terrifying height, beating his wings and raising the settled snow into a blizzard. Gusts of cold air whipped over the frozen lake, scouring its surface. He opened his mouth in a terrifying roar. “Freeze in Cocytus for eternity, Lilith of Judecca. Suffer the punishment for Treachery!”

  “No,” Eva cried, but her voice was lost in the howl of the wind. Her eyes watered with cold as she cast another desperate glance toward Lilith. She had shifted back into her human form, and she was slowly being swallowed into the icy surface of the lake. Frost crept up along her sides, and snow rained down on top of her, stirred up by Shaitan’s wings. Eva’s chest ached from the cold, but she tried to shout again. “She repented, you can’t take her!”

  “She is already mine, and you will freeze with her!” Another blast of wind nearly knocked her over, and she threw her arms up to protect her face. She forced her shaking legs to move, staggering to her feet on uneven ground and turning toward the hole. Lilith’s chest was already covered in a dusting of snow, and the ice was closing around her legs.

  Shaitan’s great clawed fist swung up into the air, and Eva broke out in a sprint. She ran, trying to escape the shadow of his gigantic arm. She barely managed to dart from beneath the flat of his palm when it came crashing down, tearing apart the surface of the lake. She flung herself into the hole just as the ice shuddered and cracked beneath her feet.

  Eva skidded down the steep side of Shaitan’s handprint, scraping her knees as she landed at the bottom and cracking her already frozen skin. The cavern shook with screams of rage and frustration, but she ignored them and crawled toward the broken body of her lover. No reassuring cloud of breath formed between Lilith’s parted lips. She remained as still as death, and her eyes stayed shut.

  “Lilith, wake up,” Eva pleaded, brushing away the snow that had gathered on her skin and settled in her dark hair. It helped, but she could not do anything about the ice slowly creeping up Lilith’s legs, sealing her knees together. She tore at it with her fingers, hoping her hands would melt it, but she only managed to split two of her nails. Then, a memory tugged at her mind: Lady Godiva at the Gate of Dis. If there was ever a time for prayer…

  She stopped trying to tear off the ice, taking Lilith’s hands in hers and clasping them together. There was no warmth left in them. She tucked her chin against her chest and whispered the shortest, truest prayer that would come. “God have mercy on me, a sinner.” Nothing happened. Eva closed her eyes, hanging her head in defeat.

  Another heartbeat passed, and through the tears streaming from her eyes, she saw a wisp of white light flicker before her. At first it was just a spark, threatening to fade and die away in the howling blizzard. Then, it began to blossom open, glowing brighter and brighter with each passing second.

  Feeling warm again, Eva reached out and cupped it in her hands. It licked over her fingers like fire, but there was no pain, and it felt alive against her skin as it grew into a small star. She knew exactly what this was. It was achingly familiar to her. The living light flickered, and she set it over Lilith’s heart. “Here,” she whispered through cracked lips, cupping both of her palms over the white glow. “This belongs to you.”

  Small cracks of the light poured out from between her fingers, pulsing as her teardrops spattered around them. It began sinking through Lilith’s skin. A few sparks wandered over her arms and shoulders, rushing down her stomach to melt the ice gathering at her hips, but they were absorbed into her body as well, and the last of the glow faded.

  Lilith’s eyes opened. Her chest shuddered as she took in a new breath. She looked up at her hands, which were still cupped in prayer between Eva’s, and her lips formed the same words that she had spoken before. “God have mercy on me, a sinner.”

  Another great, tearing rumble made the cavern shake, but this time, there were no shrieks or howls of anger. A blinding column of white light broke through the endless blackness above them, stretching down into the hole that Shaitan’s giant fist had left and piercing even the ice beneath their feet. It shone so brightly that Eva let go of Lilith’s hands to shield their eyes. “Enough, Lucifer!” a great voice called. “These two are beyond your power now.”

  The light dimmed, and the silhouette of a winged figure descended towards them, sword held aloft in his powerful arm. Lilith removed her hand from her eyes. “And Michael and his angels fought against the dragon,” she murmured as Shaitan roared, gnashing his teeth in all three of his mouths. But even as he struggled to pull free of the ice, the blizzard his wings stirred only sealed him in deeper. He was the maker of his own prison, and the force of his rage kept him trapped forever in Cocytus. “And the dragon and his angels fought back… But he was not strong enough.”

  Michael’s sandaled feet touched the bottom of the pit, and he sheathed his sword behind his shoulders and extended his hands. Eva took one, and Lilith gripped the other. “Come with me. Leave the serpent to bite his own tongues. I will lead you out of the Ninth Circle.” Shaitan raged behind them, bellowing his fury loud enough to shake the walls, but he was powerless as Michael led them back up the thirteen steps and into the light.

  “Master,” Lilith said once the last screeches of anger had faded away, “what happened? When… when Shaitan crushed me? Was I alive, or dead?” She shuddered as she remembered the all-consuming coldness, the nothingness that had swallowed her and stretched out in all directions.

  “You were somewhere in between.” He turned to Eva, who was walking at her side. “When Lilith chose to sacrifice herself for you, she reclaimed her soul. Love saved her, just as it did the night she prayed for forgiveness at the foot of your bed. And your love called her soul to you.”

  Lilith stared down at her own hands in disbelief. She gave her fingers a testing flex. “But I don’t look different. I don’t feel different. I’m still... me.”

  Michael stopped, turning to look at her. Lilith was tall, but he was taller still, and his wings made him look even larger as she stood before him. “Did you believe that being reunited with your soul would change you, First One? It has, but not in the way you think.”

  “I - I thought it would make me…”

  “Good?” Michael shook his head. “No. Your soul does not change who you are. You have had free will since your creation, just like everyone else. Doing good or evil has always been your choice. But through your journey to take back your soul, you have proven the strength of your repentance. You have also reclaimed some of your humanity. You will still be able to take your other-shape when you choose, but you are no longer immortal.”

  Lilith was stunned into silence. Her legs shook, and she fell to her knees at Michael’s feet, weeping joyful tears into her hands. She tried to speak, bu
t only sobs came, and she shuddered as a warm hand began rubbing soothing circles over her back. “Lilith, I thought this was what you wanted,” Eva whispered, kneeling beside her. “To reclaim your soul and be free of Shaitan...”

  Lilith swallowed down the tight lump stopping up her throat, but when she spoke, her voice still scraped. “You don’t understand. I spent thousands of years pleading for death, begging for my punishment on Earth to end. Even death offered no escape, because I would go to the Ninth Circle. I prayed that I would be un-made into nothingness, that I would cease to exist. But now…” She paused. Her lips trembled. She stared into Eva’s eyes, her own still swimming with tears. “Now, I want to be with you. I’m not crying because I’ll die. I’m crying because I want to live.”

  Eva brushed the last of the snow from her hair, still holding her close. “You will live, Lilith. And when we finish living, death won’t separate us.” Lilith opened her arms, and Eva fell into them. Each heartbeat, each breath was a shared comfort. Lilith buried her face in Eva’s neck, wetting it with her tears.

  Michael was smiling when they finally pulled apart. He put his hand on Lilith’s shoulder and grasped it firmly. “Rise up, Lilith Erets. Return with me to your rightful kingdom.”

  “Erets?” Eva asked.

  “Earth.” Lilith smiled through her fading tears. She stood, holding Eva’s hand tightly in hers. “Lilith of Earth. And this time, it’s where I’m supposed to be.”

  Michael spread his arms, and another column of light rose from the depths of the lake. It seemed to pull at them, beckoning them forward. “Follow me,” he said, stepping into the light. “We need to find your friends.”

  The light lifted Lilith up, carrying her above the frozen lake of Cocytus, past the cliffs and the giants. She looked out over the Ninth Circle with a sense of triumph. She had traveled to the depths of Sheol and back, and she had reclaimed her soul. They soared higher, and she caught a glimpse of the Eighth’s Circle’s fiery wheel. She thought she saw a small cloud of flying creatures, but if it was the Malebranche, they did not dare come anywhere near the light. Peace settled over her, and she turned to smile at Eva. At last, she felt worthy of the trust that had been placed in her.

  Finally, the light began lowering them back down, and they descended over the bridge and into the sixth ditch. “Look!” Eva said, raising her free hand and pointing beneath them. “There they are!” Lilith tilted her chin and saw Lady Godiva’s raised hand waving them closer, with Grace’s head still resting in her lap. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Lilith ran forward to meet them.

  “Thank God you’re alive,” Lady Godiva said. “I was starting to get worried.”

  Lilith grinned at her. “Don’t you even want to know if I reclaimed my soul?”

  “Of course you did. I never doubted you would.”

  Lilith knelt down beside her, casting a worried glance over Grace’s still form. She had not forgotten how Grace had fought for them against the Malebolge, or how she had saved Eva’s life. Her judgment had been entirely wrong. “How is she?” she whispered.

  Lady Godiva frowned. “Still the same. I managed to stop most of the blood, but it will take centuries for her to heal.”

  “Not that long.” Michael stepped forward from the column of light, and his sandals left no marks in the dust.

  Lady Godiva bowed her head as best she could while sitting. “Master, forgive me. I did not see you. Please...” She looked up at Michael with desperate eyes, resting her hand on the wild tangle of Grace’s red hair. “This woman protected us instead of trying to save herself. I know she cannot leave Hell, but…”

  “I already know all about the Sea Queen of Connaught,” the Archangel said sternly. “Instead of staying in the Seventh Circle to endure her punishment, she fled her prison and decided to accompany you.” He drew his sword from across his back, folding both of his hands around the hilt with the point facing the ground.

  Lady Godiva’s eyes widened, and she bent protectively over Grace, prepared to shield her from the blade. “All sinners deserve mercy,” she said, staring at Michael over her bare shoulder, past the curtain of her hair.

  “Move aside,” Michael commanded, but this time, his voice was gentler. “Her desire to escape her prison is not surprising, but her actions afterwards were unexpected. Perhaps her time in Hell has taught her something of repentance.” Still holding his sword, he knelt alongside Lilith as Lady Godiva sat back up. He rested the flat of the blade over Grace’s stomach. Light gathered along the edges of the metal, and slowly, it began sealing up her wound, stitching the ragged edges of flesh back together. Finally, nothing but smooth skin and a few flecks of dried blood remained.

  Grace began breathing peacefully, and after a moment, her eyes fluttered open. Lilith watched her stare up at Lady Godiva, then down at the magnificent sword on her stomach. A grin split across her face. “My God, it’s beautiful! Can I keep it?”

  “If you want the Archangel Michael to be weaponless when he leads God’s army against Shaitan at the End of Days,” Lilith drawled.

  Grace blinked, appearing to notice all the other people around her for the first time - including Michael. She hurried to hand the sword back. “Er, sorry,” she mumbled. “It’s just been a long time since I had a sword.”

  Michael rose to his feet again. “Your actions will not go unrewarded, Grace O’Malley. For helping Lilith Erets reclaim her soul, you will be allowed to stay in the First Circle.”

  “The First Circle?” Grace repeated thickly. “You mean I’ll never have to go back in the river?”

  “Unless you cause more trouble, no.”

  “I volunteer to keep an eye on her,” Lady Godiva said, beaming with happiness. “That is, if you will grant me permission to extend my stay here for a little while.”

  Michael nodded his head and re-sheathed his sword. “You may stay as long as you like, but heaven will always be open to you.” He gestured at all of them. “Now, come. Your time here is finished.” A great weight lifted from Lilith’s chest, and she rose, taking Eva’s hand as she looked up toward the sky. Earth was her home, and this time, she was eager to go back.

  Fine:

  We mounted up, she first and I the second,

  Til I beheld through a round aperture

  Some of the beauteous things that Heaven doth bear;

  Thence we came forth, and once more saw the stars.

  “I’m going to miss them,” Eva said as they stood before the great gate. Lady Godiva and Grace O’Malley had said their goodbyes at the First Circle, and after sharing warm embraces, the two women had headed back to the castle with joined hands. The Archangel Michael left soon after, departing beneath the stone arch and disappearing from sight. Now, it was their turn.

  Lilith nodded her head, linking her arm through the curve of Eva’s elbow. “I will, too,” she said, staring at the large stone doors. This time, there was no ancient text crawling along them in blood. They were bare except for the bars of iron crossing at the middle.

  “Even Grace?”

  “Even her,” Lilith admitted. She took a deep breath, staring up at the stone arch, and took comfort in the rise and fall of Eva’s chest against the side of her arm. After everything they had been through, both of them were still alive. She turned just enough to look down into Eva’s eyes. “Well? Are you ready?”

  “Almost.” Eva tilted her chin up, standing on her toes so that she could press her lips to Lilith’s. The kiss was soft, but powerful, and Lilith felt her knees grow weak. She reached out with her free hand, stroking the familiar curve of Eva’s cheek.

  Finally, they pulled apart, still close enough to share breath. “Thank you for saving me,” Lilith whispered. “I don’t know why your love touched me, or what I did to deserve it, but I would be lost without you.”

  Eva smiled. “That isn’t true. You do know why.”

 
“You’re right. I do.” Lilith pulled back just enough to take both of Eva’s hands in hers and lift them up. “I love you, Eva.”

  “I love you, Lilith.” Eva bent to press a kiss over their joined hands before she turned to look at the gate. “I’m ready now. Let’s go see what our life will be like together now that you have your soul back.”

  “There’s no one else I want to share it with.” Together, the two of them stepped forward, Eva reaching out with her left hand, and Lilith with her right. The others remained together, and they each pushed open one of the stone doors.

  It was night outside, but the small grove was not dark. Instead, starlight poured down from the soft blue blanket of the sky, illuminating the grass and trees around them with a soft, warm glow. It washed over their faces, lighting up their twin smiles.

  “Of all the nights I’ve spent wandering the world, how have I never noticed before?” Lilith asked the sky in a soft murmur. “It’s beautiful…”

  “Yes, you are.”

  Lilith squeezed Eva’s hand tighter, and her chest flooded with warmth. “I believe you now,” she said.

  Eva laughed. “I knew you would.”

  Hand in hand, the two of them walked off into the forest, letting the stars light their path.

  About the Author

  Rae D. Magdon

  Rae D. Magdon is a writer living and working in the state of Alaska. Over the past few years, she has written several lesbian-themed novels, including Dark Horizons, The Second Sister, and her first published work, All The Pretty Things coauthored with Michelle Magly. She enjoys writing fantasy and science fiction, in addition to modern-day romances. When she is not writing original fiction, she wastes spends her time dabbling in unapologetically smutty romantic lesbian fanfiction. Her favorite fandoms are Law & Order: SVU and Mass Effect. In her free moments, which are few and far between, she enjoys spending time with Tory, her partner of ten years, and their two cats.