Waiting for Baby

by Cathy McDavid

  “I know you’re upset about not being able to drive your mom’s car, but try and understand. You’ve just got your learner’s permit. The convertible has a standard transmission and a lot more power than you’re capable of handling with your limited experience.”

  “I drive the tractor, and it’s a standard.”

  “Your mom’s convertible isn’t anything like the tractor. Plus, it’s dark outside, and the roads are still slick from the last snowstorm.”

  “How am I supposed to get experience if Mom doesn’t teach me?”

  While he hated seeing Briana’s unhappy frown, he was inclined to agree with her mother on this issue. “I’ve got to pick up your sister’s asthma prescription at the drugstore. What if we ran to Payson real quick, and I let you drive the Buick? The drugstore’s right next to the ice cream place. I’ll treat.”

  Her expression brightened. “I’d rather go to Java Creations.”

  “The coffee house?” Jake must have heard wrong. “You don’t drink coffee.”

  “Dad,” she said on a sigh. “Everyone from school goes there.”

  Briana drank coffee. Kayla used slang. LeAnne wore fake nails. His little girls were growing up so fast. Before long, less than two years to be exact, Briana would be leaving for college, finding a job—not necessarily on the ranch—meeting a guy and getting married. Kayla and LeAnne wouldn’t be far behind. When that day came, he’d be alone.

  No, not alone. He’d be with Lilly and their child.

  A baby.

  Diapers, late-night feedings, spitting up on his dress shirts. Then later, learning to ride a bike, the first day of school and another trip to Disneyland.

  Jake was about to have a second family.

  His knees buckled. “I need to sit down,” he said and stumbled toward the easy chair.

  “I thought we were going to Payson?”

  “Oh, yeah. You’ll have to drive. My stomach’s queasy.”

  “That’s the point, remember me driving?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Jeez, Dad. What’s with you?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  He did feel a little steadier by the time all four of them piled into his old Buick. Then he remembered his plan to tell the kids about Lilly. The closer they got to the coffee shop, the more his agitation increased.

  He considered postponing it, then was hit by a terrifying thought. Lilly had told the staff and clients at Horizon about the baby. Briana spent two or three afternoons a week with them at the ranch. It was possible—no, likely—that someone would mention Lilly’s pregnancy to her. Briana was smart, she’d do the math and figure out he could be the father.

  Difficult as it would be, he’d have to tell his daughters everything tonight.

  Java Creations was packed, and the patrons, with the exception of Jake, Kayla and LeAnne, looked like they were regulars, Briana included. The two younger girls ordered hot chocolate. Briana got some decaf latte concoction with an extra shot of skim milk. Jake’s request for a plain cup of black coffee was met with borderline disdain from the barista. He almost choked when she told him the total price, but kept his complaint to himself. If four overpriced beverages smoothed the way for his talk with the girls, he’d pay double that.

  They grabbed a tiny table near the back, the only one available. It became abundantly clear to Jake the instant they sat down that a noisy, bustling coffee house was no place for a serious discussion, not with Briana hopping up every couple of minutes to greet friends.

  “The best-laid plans,” he muttered. No one heard him. “Let’s go,” he said when Briana returned from her third venture. Kayla and LeAnne were finished with their hot chocolate, and his stomach, uneasy to begin with, was rebelling against the coffee.

  “Do we have to?” Briana glanced up from her cell phone. “It’s only eight o’clock.”

  More like eight-twenty, and they had to be home by nine on school nights. Jake was running out of time.

  “I have something to tell you. All of you,” he added.

  “What?” LeAnne perked up. Briana and Kayla eyed him suspiciously.

  “Nothing bad.” Jake’s assurance made no difference. Briana and Kayla slunk out of the coffee shop. LeAnne skipped. “Wait just a minute,” he said when Briana went to start the car.

  She huffed and threw herself against the seat back.

  He ignored her theatrics and mentally steeled himself for the task ahead. His daughters had been through so many upheavals in recent years. He couldn’t possibly expect them to welcome another one, much less feel enthusiastic about it. Only the fear that Briana might learn about Lilly from someone else kept him going.

  “You remember Lilly Russo?” He said the words he’d been practicing in his head during the drive there.

  “She works at the center.” Briana rolled her eyes. “Comes to the ranch all the time. The two of you dated for a while and still go out sometimes. But you’re just friends.” She mimicked him by drawing out the last two words.

  “That’s right.”

  “Are you dating her again?” Kayla asked, slouching in the corner of the back seat and fiddling with the hood ties on her jacket.

  Jake reached over and patted her knee. Briana’s constant bickering with her mother had taken center stage of late, and the other two were often, if unintentionally, ignored. He vowed to change that, starting right now.

  “We are dating again. Sort of. And have been for a few months.”

  “Define sort of,” Briana demanded.

  “We’re seeing a lot of each other.”

  “Are you getting married, too, Daddy?” LeAnne’s innocent question triggered a shock wave that rippled through the car’s occupants.

  “No, I’m not getting married.” Not yet.

  “Okay. You’re dating. Seeing a lot of each other,” Briana emphasized in a clipped voice. “No big deal.”

  “Actually, there’s more to it.” He had their attention. It burned into him like three hot spears. But there was no going back. Not now. “Lilly’s having a baby. She’s due in July.” He didn’t add that she might not carry to term or that the baby could be born with birth defects.

  One step—one bombshell—at a time.

  “You’re dating a pregnant woman?” Briana’s expression changed, going from disbelief to confusion to outrage in a matter of seconds. Jake’s prediction had come true; she’d done the math. “You’re the father.”

  “Yes.” Jake winced slightly. Falling off the pedestal was much harder than he’d imagined.

  “Oh, my God! I don’t believe it.” Briana clasped the sides of her head with shaking hands. “First Mom cheats on you, then divorces you, then marries the guy she cheated on you with—”

  “Briana!” Jake cut her off. He wasn’t sure how much her younger sisters knew about their mother’s previous relationship with their stepfather.

  “You got that woman pregnant.” She glared at him, her eyes ablaze with fury and—the thought of it turned his stomach to lead—disappointment.

  “First of all, she’s not ‘that woman.’ Lilly is a very nice person. You told me yourself you liked her.”

  “That was before I found out she was screw—”

  “Enough.” Jake clenched his teeth and took a moment to calm down. “We didn’t plan on her getting pregnant. But regardless, I’m happy about it. Lilly’s always wanted to have children and hasn’t been able to…. This is her chance to be a mother.”

  “So, you’re just a sperm donor?”

  Where did Briana learn this stuff? School? TV? “No. I’m going to be an active, involved parent. Which is why Lilly and I are dating.”

  He looked into the backseat. LeAnne had crawled over to sit beside Kayla.

  “It would be nice if you were active and involved sisters.”

  “I like babies,” LeAnne said in a small voice. “Can I hold it and feed it?”

  “You bet.” He returned her tentative smile with a grin. Then he recalled how she’d ac
ted with Jimmy Bob, and his grin dimmed.

  Kayla remained silent and stone-faced, staring at the floor. Her reaction bothered him more than Briana’s anger. His oldest daughter, at least, was venting her feelings, not locking them inside.

  “Don’t expect me to get within ten feet of the little rug rat,” Briana spat.

  So much for hoping she’d babysit. “Please don’t raise your voice at me.” Normally, he’d take a sterner tone with her but he cut her some slack tonight.

  “Are you going to move in with Lilly?” LeAnne asked.

  “No. I’m staying right where I am.”

  “Are Lilly and the baby moving in with you?”

  “Maybe. Some day.”

  “Great!” Briana slammed her fist on the steering wheel. “I get to lose my room at your house, too.”

  “You’re not going to lose your room.”

  “Right.” She jammed the key in the ignition, and the Buick roared to life. “Mom said the same thing. But somehow I had to give up my bedroom and move in with them—” she jerked her head at her sisters “—so butthead Travis’s butthead son could have his own room when he comes to visit us.”

  “Shut the car off, honey.”

  “I want to go home.”

  “Then let me drive. You’re too upset.”

  “I’m not upset,” she hollered. “And you promised I could drive.”

  “Briana, don’t.” Jake unbuckled his seat belt.

  “Daddy!” LeAnne burst into tears and tried to climb into the front seat.

  “Stay there.” He gently pushed her down.

  “Why does everything have to change?” Briana flipped the radio on full blast and shouted, “Why can’t we go back to the way we were?”

  “Shut the car off, and let’s talk.” He reached for the key.

  Briana beat him to it and threw the car in Reverse. “I don’t want a stepdad. I don’t want a stepmom. And I sure as hell don’t want a new baby brother or sister.”

  Lilly’s worries about his daughters and their reaction to her and the baby were coming true.

  Briana suddenly hit the gas. Tires spun, grappling for traction on the dirt parking lot.

  Jake raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sudden glare of oncoming headlights. “Briana, watch out!”

  He was too late. The car bucked and lurched to a stop as metal collided with metal.

  Chapter Nine

  “Are you all right?” Even though Lilly had spoken to Jake on the phone, been assured he and his daughters were unharmed, she choked up when she saw them in the emergency room waiting area.

  He stood, and they went into each other’s arms. “Thanks for coming,” he said.

  “I’m just glad you’re out here and not in the operating room.” She glanced down at his two youngest daughters huddled together in the chairs beside his. “Where’s Briana?”

  “She went to the gift shop to get us some bottled water. Kayla and LeAnne were thirsty.”

  “Was the other driver injured?” She reached up and lightly touched the small shaved spot and butterfly bandage on the side of Jake’s head.

  “No, fortunately. And the girls are all fine. I wouldn’t have been hurt, either, if I hadn’t unbuckled my seat belt. That rearview mirror packs a mean wallop.” He grunted in disgust. “I didn’t want to come here, but the police officer insisted when the damn cut kept bleeding. Then I couldn’t get hold of anyone.”

  Though it was selfish of her, Lilly was glad his parents and cousin, Carolina, hadn’t answered his calls. “Is your truck driveable?”

  “We were in my old Buick, which is a tank, and it was only going a few miles an hour. The other car fared worse.”

  “Where’d you leave the Buick?”

  “At the coffee house. The manager said we could park it there overnight. I phoned the repair shop, and they’re sending a tow truck in the morning to pick it up.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I know it’s late and a huge imposition but can you take us to my place?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ve already called Ellen and told her the girls will be staying with me tonight.” He looked down the hall and let out an impatient breath. “How long does it take to buy bottled water?”

  “I can wait here with Kayla and LeAnne if you want to go search for Briana.”

  “Do you mind?”

  In answer, she sat down in the chair he’d vacated. “Go on.”

  “I’ll be right back,” he told his daughters. “Stay here with Ms. Russo.”

  They nodded, the older one sullenly, the younger one more hesitant.

  Lilly leaned in their direction the moment Jake started across the waiting room and gave the pair her most winning smile. “You don’t have to call me Ms. Russo. My name’s Lilly.”

  “I’m LeAnne.”

  “I know. I remember.”

  “Daddy says you’re having a baby.”

  So, he’d told his daughters tonight. Did breaking the news have anything to do with Briana’s fender bender at the coffee house? Lilly thought it might.

  “I am.”

  “He says the baby will be my little brother or sister.”

  “That’s true.”

  LeAnne’s chatter was more curious than friendly but far better than her sister’s silent hostility. Lilly swallowed her disappointment. She’d so wanted Jake’s daughters to be happy about becoming part of her child’s life.

  If the baby was born normal.

  Lilly wouldn’t force them into a relationship with a child like her son, Evan. That would be traumatic, particularly for LeAnne, and too much to ask.

  “I like babies,” LeAnne said.

  “I like babies, too. And kids.” Lilly smiled, hoping for even a tiny response. No such luck.

  LeAnne looked confused, and Kayla just plain ignored Lilly. She took the slights in stride. She had a lot of experience dealing with uncooperative clients determined to hate their circumstances. Given time, she was confident she could get along with, if not win over, Jake’s youngest daughters.

  Jake and Briana appeared at the end of the hallway. Lilly took one look at the teenager and knew her worries about Jake’s other daughters paled in comparison to her fears about his oldest. Everything, from Briana’s surly expression to her rigidly held arms, shouted anger and misery.

  Lilly stood. “Guess we’re ready to leave.” She strived to maintain a pleasant and unconcerned tone. Inside, she was quaking.

  She and the two younger girls walked toward Jake and Briana, meeting them near the exit. Lilly tried to make eye contact with Briana but the girl stared at the floor or the wall, anywhere except Lilly.

  “Where’s my water?” LeAnne asked.

  “We didn’t get it,” Jake answered, his jaw hardly moving.

  “But I’m thirsty.”

  “You’ll have to wait.”

  Obviously, something had gone wrong at the gift shop.

  “There’s a convenience store up the road,” Lilly said.

  “Do we have to stop?” Briana whined. “I just want to go home.”

  Okay, thought Lilly. Not the right time to try impressing his daughters with helpful suggestions.

  Outside, Briana resumed her fixation with the ground in front of her feet. Jake took the younger girls’ hands, and they crossed the parking lot. “Which way?” he asked Lilly.

  “Over here.”

  They wove between parked cars in an awkward, silent conga line. A familiar tow-away zone triggered memories of the day six weeks ago when Jake had met her here and Dr. Paul had performed the ultrasound.

  It suddenly struck Lilly how different tonight was from then and how different her feelings were for Jake. Little by little during the past weeks they’d grown closer and she’d started falling for him.

  Or was that falling for him again?

  “I’m hungry,” LeAnne complained as they neared Lilly’s car.

  She removed her keys from her purse and pressed the button to unl
ock the doors. “I have some crackers in the glove compartment.” She reached for the driver’s side door.

  Briana, one step ahead of everyone else, already had her door open.

  “That’s all right,” Jake said. “She can wait to eat until we get home.”

  “I don’t mind sharing.” Lilly winked at LeAnne as she opened the door.

  “He said she can wait!” Briana wheeled on Lilly. “Quit trying so hard to be the nice girlfriend so we’ll like you and be okay with you having our dad’s kid.”

  “I’m…sorry I didn’t—”

  “Briana!” Jake exploded. “That was rude and uncalled for.”

  A strange and unexpected sensation bloomed in Lilly’s middle. She placed one hand on the car roof to steady herself. Her other hand went to cradle her belly. She was vaguely aware of Jake barreling around the car.

  “Lilly! Are you all right?”

  She tried to nod but didn’t quite manage as tears filled her eyes and blurred her vision.

  “Is it cramps?” Jake took her arm and held her firmly, supporting her.

  She leaned on him, waiting for the sensation to recede and—please, oh, please, God—return.

  “No. Not cramps.” She couldn’t stop crying. “I just felt the baby move for the first time.”

  “You did?” Jake’s grin stretched from ear to ear and his grip on her arm tightened. He kissed her temple and covered her hand with his. “That’s great, sweetheart.”

  “Yeah, great,” Briana grumbled. Then she turned around and stormed off.

  BRIANA WAS conspicuously absent during Lilly’s next visit to the ranch. Lilly, Georgina, Austin—a recently hired caregiver—and a van full of clients had arrived nearly an hour ago, and the teenager had yet to make an appearance. Lilly didn’t think she would. Not after the other night when she’d stomped off, leaving Jake to chase after her and bring her back.

  The drive from the hospital to Jake’s place had been long, tiring and strained. Lilly and the girls hadn’t exchanged six words. To compensate, Jake talked enough for everyone until he’d grown weary or ran out of patience or both. The kids couldn’t escape her car fast enough when she pulled into Jake’s driveway. His goodbye to her had been brief, though warm. Lilly had fallen into bed minutes after getting home, only to be awakened a few hours later by another fluttering in her abdomen.