Waiting for Baby

by Cathy McDavid

He hated settling; he was a man who went after what he wanted and didn’t quit until he got it.

  “Have dinner with me Friday night?”

  “I…” She shoved her hands in her coat pockets and hunched her shoulders against the cool evening air.

  “Hear me out before you say no.” Jake knew he had only this one chance to sway Lilly’s opinion regarding them. She was on home ground and retreating more and more by the second—physically and emotionally. “I think we should see each other twice a week. Socially. Doctor and hospital visits don’t count.”

  “You want to…date?”

  “We’re having a baby. Like it or not, we’ll be seeing quite a bit of each other for a long time to come.” He’d rather it was across his breakfast table every morning, but she’d rejected his proposal. “Don’t you agree we’ll be better parents if we’re on good terms?”

  “Of course. But dating?”

  “Think of it as two friends hanging out.”

  She sent him a mistrustful look.

  “We can shop for maternity clothes and baby furniture. Go to yoga class. Drink herbal tea while I listen to you complain about your water retention. Whatever friends do.”

  That earned him a chuckle.

  But she quickly sobered and asked, “No pressure? Strictly social? I can’t handle it if you’re popping the question every time we go out.”

  He placed a hand over his heart. “Scout’s honor.”

  “I suppose we could try.” The crack in the wall she’d erected widened. “See how it goes.”

  Her enthusiasm left a lot to be desired but Jake took what he could get. “Good. How about I pick you up at seven on Friday?”

  “Why do I think you have another agenda?”

  Because he did—that of further exploring their renewed and deepening relationship.

  He could understand Lilly’s rejection of his proposal; she wouldn’t act impulsively where her child was concerned. His goal was to take the necessary steps to help his daughters adjust to a blended family and to make sure Lilly’s decision to marry him was well thought-out and deliberate. That it was a decision she’d never regret.

  And if he had to woo her one dinner date, one yoga class, one shopping spree at a time, he’d do it gladly.

  Chapter Eight

  Lilly emerged from the restroom stall and went directly to the sink. After washing her hands, she automatically checked her blouse and tugged it into place. The strategic folds hid her gently rounded belly but wouldn’t for much longer, not at seventeen weeks pregnant. She couldn’t believe how fast the weeks had flown by and that it was January already. Any day now she’d have to start telling people—apart from the handful she already had. And they’d learned only after she’d gone a full three weeks without any spotting or cramps.

  Her parents had expressed mixed emotions. They knew how much Lilly wanted children but were understandably concerned about her ability to endure the loss of a fourth child. And though they’d wisely said little, they were also unhappy about her unmarried state. To her relief, Jake hadn’t mentioned his proposal when he’d come over Christmas Eve for dinner and to meet her parents. Lilly had hoped he might bring his daughters, too, so that she could get to know them better. But he hadn’t, probably because she was starting to show. Nor had he told them about the baby yet.

  Lilly’s boss and his wife had been next on her list of people to tell. After explaining her circumstances, they’d agreed not to say anything to the staff until Lilly was ready.

  She cradled her middle and whispered a soft prayer for the life growing inside her. The baby who’d first turned her world upside down now completed it. Granted, she spent half her day anxious and agitated, but the other half was spent imagining herself holding a healthy, beautiful baby. Could Dr. Paul be right? Would a different father, a different DNA combination, make the difference?

  Jake seemed to think so.

  Keeping to their agreement, they’d gone out twice a week for the past five weeks, and it wasn’t the hardship Lilly had expected. He took her to dinner a lot, which accounted for some of her recent weight gain. But they also went on day trips, like a hike through the easy trails at the ranch or renting a paddle boat at nearby Commodore Lake—with Jake doing most of the paddling.

  They had fun together, but then, they’d had fun before their breakup, too. Their instant and natural camaraderie had been what attracted her to him in the first place. Jake was helping to take the pressure off their new relationship by not bringing up the M word again, although she doubted that would last.

  Truth be told, she’d entertained the idea of marrying him once or twice. Okay, three or four times…a week. Her reasons to wait still outnumbered her reasons to accept his proposal. If her pregnancy continued to progress well and their relationship strengthened, that might not be the case in another few months.

  The door to the restroom banged open, and Miranda walked in. Her face lit up at seeing Lilly, and rather than go into a stall, she joined Lilly at the sink.

  “Whatcha doing?”

  “Making myself presentable.” Lilly smoothed at her hair, hoping Miranda didn’t see through her ruse.

  “There’s a piece sticking up in the back.”

  Lilly stood immobile while Miranda patted down the fly-away strands.

  Miranda held a special place in Lilly’s heart because her case was so tragic. When she was two years old, she’d fallen six feet onto concrete. Broken bones weren’t the worst of her injuries; she’d suffered a three-inch fracture in her skull that had left her mildly mentally disabled.

  “Thank you,” Lilly said when Miranda was done.

  She grinned. Like a lot of the center’s clients, she enjoyed being helpful. “I fix my sister’s hair a lot.”

  “That’s nice.”

  Miranda leaned over the sink until her face was only inches from the mirror and inspected her teeth.

  “When your baby’s born, can I watch it for you?”

  Lilly went stone still except for her heart, which jumped inside her chest. “What makes you think I’m having a baby?” she asked haltingly.

  “You’re getting fat. My sister got fat, too.” Miranda spun around and patted her own pudgy tummy.

  Lilly hid her mortification by returning to the sink and flipping on the cold water faucet. If Miranda had noticed her condition, others must have, too. What a fool she’d been to believe she was successfully camouflaging her pregnancy with loose-fitting clothes and bulky sweaters.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Miranda asked, her smile faltering.

  “No, not at all.” Lilly stalled by washing her hands again. She couldn’t leave the restroom, not until she’d composed herself and convinced Miranda to keep her secret. The young woman was a notorious blabbermouth.

  “Aren’t you happy about the baby?”

  Anyone who thought special-needs individuals weren’t observant had another thing coming.

  “Of course I’m happy. I just wasn’t ready to tell people yet.”

  “Why not?”

  “The baby might be sick.” Might not live.

  Miranda gawked at Lilly’s stomach. “How can you tell when it’s still inside you?”

  “I had problems before.”

  “Sick how? Like strep throat? I had that once.”

  “No, not like strep throat. More serious.” Lilly couldn’t bring herself to be upset with Miranda. She was just trying to understand. “Sick isn’t the right word. The baby could have physical problems and not…” How to say it without hurting Miranda’s feelings? “Not be able to walk or talk.”

  “Like me.” Miranda held out her foot, the one with the specially constructed shoe to compensate for her fibula, which was three inches too short. “My leg’s messed up, and I don’t talk real good.”

  “You talk fine.” Too much sometimes, Lilly wryly thought. She realized that if she didn’t return to her office soon, one of the staff was bound to come looking for her. “And your limp is hardly notice
able.”

  “Why you all worried then?”

  “The baby could have so many things wrong, it would never be able to leave home and might need machines to stay alive.”

  “That sucks.”

  Yes, it did.

  “I have to go, sweetie.” Lilly patted Miranda’s shoulder. “Please don’t tell anyone about the baby until I say you can. Okay?”

  “My mother doesn’t tell people about me, either.”

  “I can’t believe that,” Lilly said vehemently, although admittedly she didn’t know Miranda’s mother. Her sister always brought her to the center.

  “Sometimes, when she thinks I’m not around, she says she only has one daughter.”

  “Oh, Miranda.” Lilly could have cried.

  The young woman screwed up her face into an angry scowl. “I bet if you had a kid like me, you’d be the same way.”

  Lilly pulled Miranda into a fierce hug. “If I had a daughter like you, I’d be so happy and so proud, I’d tell everybody I met about my beautiful girl and how much I loved her.”

  “Then why don’t you tell people about the baby?”

  “I will. Soon.”

  “Why not right now?”

  Yes, why not? Didn’t she believe what she’d told Miranda?

  “Okay, let’s do it. Together.” Lilly drew back and took Miranda by the shoulders. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Reminding me of something important I’d forgotten.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Unconditional love.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Don’t worry.” She pushed open the door. “I’ll explain later.”

  “Wait, I gotta pee.”

  Lilly laughed as Miranda dashed into the bathroom stall. When she was done, they left the restroom together and went into the main activity room. Miranda bubbled with excitement. The others must have sensed something was up because all eyes were on them.

  “I have an announcement,” Lilly said when she reached the center of the room.

  “Is Big Ben okay?” Jimmy Bob asked.

  “Our mule is fine.”

  “Are we still going to the ranch tomorrow?”

  “Shut up, you goon,” Miranda scolded. “This isn’t about you or that dumb mule.”

  “This is about me,” Lilly said and waited for everyone to quiet down. “I’m very, very pleased to tell you that in five months or so, I’m going to have a baby.”

  Dead silence followed her announcement…for about three seconds. Then the entire room broke into applause and cheers. Those who could get up on their own rushed over to Lilly, hugging her, kissing her and offering her their best wishes. If any of them had suspected she was pregnant, they didn’t say.

  For the rest of the afternoon, she rejoiced with the center’s staff and clients. No doubt her fears and worries would return the next morning. But she didn’t let that stop her from treasuring every second of the afternoon and she could hardly wait to tell Jake.

  “SO, WE’RE OFFICIALLY out of the closet?”

  “Yes.”

  Jake pressed the phone closer to his ear and smiled. Lilly had called to say she’d finally felt comfortable enough with her pregnancy to go public, and elation rang in her voice. It was nice to hear. With each passing week, Lilly and their child became more and more important to him.

  “Well, good. I guess now I can do the same.”

  “You haven’t told anyone?”

  He absently stirred a pot of steaming vegetables on the stove. The girls were due any minute, and he hadn’t seen much of them the last week. They’d stayed with him for ten days straight after Ellen’s New Year’s Eve wedding while she and her new husband went on their honeymoon. In exchange, he’d let her have his regular weekend. Reports from the family grapevine were that the reunion hadn’t gone well. Apparently Briana and her mother remained at odds, and none of the girls had yet to warm up to their new stepfather.

  Jake allowed himself a brief feel-good moment. He was first in his daughters’ hearts, and as long as he stayed there, he could tolerate another man living in his home.

  “I did tell Carolina a couple months ago,” he said to Lilly. “The day you went to the emergency room and had the ultrasound. She denies it, but I’m pretty sure she’s told her mother. And if she did, you can bet my mom knows, too.”

  “What about the girls?” Lilly asked.

  “I haven’t said a word to them.”

  “Are you going to?”

  “Yeah, soon. I may do it tonight. Ellen’s dropping them off.” Jake could only postpone the inevitable so long. Before he and Lilly could move forward, his children had to be told. Everything.

  “Do you want me to be there?”

  “Thanks.” Lilly’s offer and what it implied wasn’t lost on him. “But I think I’d better tackle this alone. Depending on how they handle the news, maybe we all can get together one evening next week.”

  “I could make dinner. Or how about if I throw everything in a cooler and bring it over there?”

  “I’d like that a lot.” He imagined Lilly and his daughters sitting around his kitchen table, the all-American blended family, talking and laughing.

  The vision promptly evaporated in a puff of smoke. Unless he and Lilly conquered the hurdles facing them and won his daughters over, those family dinners were going to be stilted and possibly angry.

  “Do the girls like baked ravioli?”

  “If it’s cheese ravioli, yes.”

  “Great!”

  Jake wished he felt as hopeful as Lilly sounded. He really did want that dream of everyone at dinner to become a reality. The girls were aware he and Lilly went out sometimes. Tonight he would tell them that he and Lilly were serious. Let them get used to the idea before he broke the news about the baby. With their home life at their mother’s in such turmoil, he felt the need to proceed slowly.

  He couldn’t wait too much longer, however. Payson was a small town and tongues wagged.

  “I hear a car outside,” he told Lilly. “I’d better go.”

  “Call me later if you need to talk.”

  “What if I don’t need to talk and just want to call?”

  “That’s okay, too,” she said softly and hung up after saying goodbye.

  He headed to the door, more optimistic than he’d been a few minutes ago. His progress with Lilly had been slow but was now moving in the right direction. It gave him confidence that everything would eventually work out for the best.

  “Hi.” He stood on his porch, waiting for the stampede.

  His daughters tumbled out of Ellen’s car, the candy-apple red convertible her husband had brought her as an engagement present. Jake wondered how long the shiny paint would last in the rough, mountainous terrain where they lived and how long until Ellen tired of driving a vehicle so ill-suited to a family with three active children.

  LeAnne and Kayla nearly knocked him over. Before they could land in a heap on the porch floor, he swept them into his arms.

  “I missed you so much. How are Grandpa and Grandma Pryor?” Over the weekend, Ellen had taken the girls and her new husband to Phoenix for a short visit with her parents.

  “Good,” Kayla chirped and extracted herself from beneath Jake’s arm. Of the three girls, she was the only one who resembled Ellen, inheriting her mother’s flashing blue eyes and thick brown hair.

  “What’s for dinner?” LeAnne demanded, pushing open the door. She reminded Jake of his late sister and was a Tucker through and through.

  He caught sight of LeAnne’s hand. Her fingernails, normally chewed to the quick, were long, bright pink and covered with tiny decals.

  “I’m glad to see you’ve stopped biting your nails.” He couldn’t say he liked her choice of polish, though.

  “Oh.” She held up her hand and wiggled her fingers. “These are fake.”

  “Fake nails? Aren’t you a little young for those?”

  “Mom bought them for me,” she
said, bounding into the kitchen.

  Jake grumbled under his breath.

  Briana was the last one inside and slow to join them at the table. When they started eating, she was mostly silent, answering only when asked a direct question and then limiting her replies to one or two short sentences.

  “Anything wrong, honey?” Jake asked.

  “Nothing.”

  He passed out the chocolate brownies he’d swiped from the dining hall earlier that day when Olivia wasn’t looking.

  His kitchen manager’s last day was almost upon them. Finding her replacement had been a problem and had consumed much of his time recently. Then, yesterday, his other cousin, Corrine, Carolina’s sister, called to tell him she’d decided not to re-up after eight years as a warrant officer in the army and was looking for a job. Next to Lilly’s continued good health and lack of pregnancy problems, it was the best news he’d had all month.

  “Briana’s mad because Mom didn’t let her drive her new whip over here,” Kayla said with a sneer.

  “Whip?” Jake asked.

  “It means car.”

  “Huh.” When did his bookish, somewhat nerdy daughter start using teen slang?

  “Shut up, Kayla,” Briana snapped.

  “No fighting at the table,” Jake warned both of them. “You know the rules.”

  Briana sulked. Kayla, unaffected, devoured her brownie. Jake said nothing more in an attempt to restore harmony; he wanted everyone in good spirits and receptive when he told them about Lilly.

  After helping him clean the kitchen, the two younger girls vanished into the family room to watch TV. Jake didn’t ask if they’d finished their homework—the rule was it had to be done before they came over. Because high school tended to be more demanding and Briana was often busy with extracurricular activities, she sometimes got stuck finishing up a reading assignment or report while at Jake’s.

  When she retreated into his office, he didn’t ask any questions. Forty-five minutes later, he knocked on the door and entered, not surprised to find her on the Internet.

  “Researching?”

  “American history.” Her tone conveyed just how little she liked the class.

  He crossed the room to stand behind her, automatically scanning the Web page she had open. He was glad to see an article about the Industrial Revolution. Not that he didn’t trust her, but in her current mood, he wouldn’t have been surprised to catch her instant-messaging with a friend.