Knowing Her

by Raquel De Leon

  The words immediately brought the memory back. Lian’s entire body felt warm, her cheeks feeling the hottest of all. She wanted to joke about it too, but her tongue felt too big for her mouth. “I’ll, uh, knock on the door before I come out.” With the barest glance in Teresa’s direction, she hurried into the safety of the bathroom. The attraction had officially been upgraded to a crush. Lian was very annoyed with herself.

  ***

  Several hours and a hearty breakfast later, Teresa was contentedly sipping on her second cup of coffee. The restaurant had indeed possessed a patio, and Teresa had been swayed into staying by the well-kept area surrounded with brightly colored flowers in raised, narrow garden beds.

  Teresa flashed a smile at Lian. “Another point for you.” She paused and licked a drop of coffee from the corner of her mouth. “I might have to bring you on all my trips. I’m feeling kind of spoiled on this one.”

  Lian’s lips twitched, appearing to fight a smile. “Your sister might have something to say about that.”

  “I don’t travel that often.” Teresa clicked her tongue. “She’s got plenty of other investigators on staff. I know you’re basically irreplaceable, but she’ll just have to make do.”

  “If I keep hanging around you my ego is going to become disturbingly inflated,” Lian commented with raised eyebrows.

  Teresa leaned forward. She studied Lian’s face. “On the contrary, I feel that you genuinely don’t give yourself enough credit.” At least she had some understanding as to why that was, given what Lian had shared about her upbringing. It hadn’t stopped her almost compulsive need to bolster Lian at every opportunity. “By the way, I could get used to you like this.”

  Lian’s brow furrowed as she frowned. “Like what?”

  “Relaxed. In comfortable jeans and t-shirts. I know it’s not the first time, but you just… I don’t know. You seem more approachable on this trip.”

  For a moment, Lian only stared at her. Then, Lian laughed. “Thanks, I guess?”

  Teresa opened her mouth to say more, wanting Lian to understand what she meant—Lian’s hair was even in a messy bun, some loose strands falling around her face. It made her seem softer, somehow. Though Teresa hadn’t met a side to Lian she didn’t like, she had to admit the soft look was her favorite. It felt the most like the Lian she’d become to know better, rather than the façade of polished professionalism Lian defaulted to. Lian’s smiles were even different: crooked and charming rather than politely reserved. They made Teresa want to crack as many jokes as possible.

  She bit her lip. “It boggles my mind how long you and Vivian have known each other, and how few personal details you’ve shared with one another.”

  Lian tilted her head and shrugged. “We both value a sense of professionalism. We came from different offices originally that didn’t take either of us seriously. It’s just kind of been our thing. I still think of her as a friend, even though we’ve always had our boundaries.”

  Teresa had a thought but initially hesitated to share it. “Except for the fact that you’ve been adopted into the family,” she quietly acknowledged.

  Lian met her gaze. Teresa smiled and hoped she wouldn’t mind that Vivian had shared the information.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s right,” Lian gently confirmed as she returned the smile.

  A tingle traveled down Teresa’s spine, making her straighten her shoulders and sit back. In a way, she was the catalyst for Lian simultaneously becoming closer to Vivian but more distant to the rest of their family. She sighed and canted her head. “You asked earlier about why I think you do things with me out of a sense of obligation. I know in the beginning that’s why you kept in contact with me. I’m glad that’s not the case anymore, but I am sorry our friendship has complicated other things for you.”

  Lian pursed her lips, the small lines reappearing between her eyebrows as she concentrated on the table. “My sense of obligation didn’t last as long as you think it did.” Her expression cleared when she looked back at Teresa, a hint of a smile showing. “You just, you know, kind of sucked me in with your dazzling personality. Any complications, as you describe them, are worth it.”

  Teresa fought a grin. “My dazzling personality, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Lian bit her lip and glanced back down at her mug, and Teresa was hit with a wave of awareness. Lian’s eyelashes were extraordinarily pretty.

  She mentally shook herself, feeling silly that her attraction to Lian had lingered into the morning. She crossed her arms over her abdomen. “Why don’t we finish up here and then walk around a bit? I could use the exercise.” Not having to directly face Lian for a while might be a good idea. The last thing she needed was to ruin the trip by coming on to Lian. Again, she realized with a wince.

  “Good idea,” Lian said after she took a sip from her mug. “I ate too much.” She offered Teresa a crooked smile.

  Teresa pulled her arms tighter against herself when she felt a fluttering in her stomach. “Then let’s flag down our server and pay.”

  Chapter Eleven

  They spent the day lazily exploring the city, meandering their way through shops and local attractions. After catching a late lunch, they took a cab back to their hotel for a nap before the concert.

  “Twenty-year-old me would have had no problem staying up late after a full day,” Teresa had joked as they’d shuffled into their room. “But I really need a nap.”

  Lian, who was used to having to roam around for long hours, hadn’t commented. Just because she didn’t often get to nap didn’t mean she didn’t like them. She loved naps; she just usually didn’t want anyone to think she was lazy (even though she knew she was). Her parents had repeatedly admonished her through long years of only average grades at school, especially after her fascination with gaming had developed. Dropping out of college had left an air of disappointment lingering in every interaction since, something made tolerable by the fact that they lived nearly two thousand miles away. It had still left a mark.

  But, as Teresa wandered out of the bathroom in her pajamas again and smiled, Lian found her eyelids getting heavy. Teresa was one of the hardest working people she knew, and had no qualms with napping.

  Lian plucked at her basketball shorts. She wanted to be fresh for the concert, to enjoy every moment of it that she could. A nap was fine.

  “Sleep well,” Teresa murmured as she settled under her covers.

  “You too,” Lian returned as she hesitantly did the same. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let herself sleep in the middle of the day. Maybe once some Sunday ago when both her sister and brother-in-law had been out of the house.

  She held her breath as she brought her head down to rest on the pillow. It was just as comfortable as she remembered from that morning. She probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. That would be okay.

  It would be okay…

  The next time Lian opened her eyes, she was looking up at the graceful lines of Teresa’s face in profile.

  “Hey,” Teresa said with a gentle smile that revealed her dimple. “You weren’t waking up when I called out to you.” The last was said with a warm squeeze to Lian’s arm. Lian didn’t move, wondering if she should be enjoying the moment as much as she was.

  “Sorry,” Lian mumbled. She blinked several times in an effort to wake herself up.

  “Please. You obviously needed the rest. I already showered, so that’s all yours.” With a last small rub to Lian’s arm, Teresa stood.

  Lian clutched her covers when she realized Teresa had changed into a dark tank top and a snug pair of skinny jeans. In the low lamplight, Teresa’s bare arms were burnished a fine golden bronze. Lian jerked herself upright and forced her attention elsewhere. Stupid, dumb body, she thought as she glared down at her own lap, of course I feel nothing for years and then everything hits at once.

  “I’ll try not to take too long,” she muttered as she scrambled from the bed to gather her clothes. Twenty minutes and a small anxiety attack later
, Lian was clean and dressed. She padded from the bathroom barefoot, briefly glancing at Teresa, who was applying some makeup in front of the big mirror.

  Teresa didn’t really need makeup, but she was good at applying a subtle amount that only enhanced her natural beauty, Lian thought.

  She worried for a moment about Teresa meeting someone while they were at the show. The band was comprised of openly queer people, surely drawing a bevy of equally queer patrons. Teresa was still processing the end of things with Holly but, given her muted reaction to Holly the previous day, perhaps she was already prepared to rebound. The notion made Lian’s stomach churn. She stuffed her hands into her pockets, then chided herself. Teresa was an adult. Lian was being preposterous.

  With a sigh, she tugged out a pair of forgotten socks and sat on one of the chairs.

  “You look cute,” Teresa said from the other side of the room.

  Lian snorted and finished putting on her socks. “It’s just jeans and a t-shirt.”

  “But they fit you well.” Teresa paused, prompting Lian to look up. Teresa was biting her lip as she stared at Lian. “You’ll probably get hit on again.”

  “Again?” Lian raised her eyebrows. “The only one who hit on me was you.”

  Teresa snorted, her eyebrows also arching. “Um, what about the waitress? And Tammy from Tennessee?”

  “The waitress was just being nice. And Tammy from Tennessee?” Lian frowned as she thought. Was that the woman that had sat across from her the night before at dinner? She’d talked to both her and Teresa a fair bit. “Oh, so that was her name. I think she was just excited to see other gay people. She flirted with you more. It was kind of rude.”

  “So, you do agree it was flirting.” Teresa sounded smug.

  Lian scoffed and sent her an incredulous look. “That’s really what you take away from that? I see you and Vivian have some things in common besides genetics.”

  Teresa’s eyes drifted over Lian as she sucked on her lower lip. “I need you to promise you won’t leave me in the lurch when some hot girl accidentally bumps into you.”

  “Like any of them will be hotter than you.” Lian’s face flushed immediately, and she wondered if would become a permanent state around Teresa. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Were they going to have this conversation every time they went out together now, and would she always embarrass herself?

  At first, Teresa didn’t respond. Her eyes trailed subtly over Lian’s face. She licked her lips. When she next spoke, her voice was low and soft. “So, it’s agreed. We’re coming home with each other.”

  Lian’s heart sped up. The way Teresa said it, was staring at her… she swallowed and nodded, unable to look away. “Right.”

  The charged moment lingered a few beats more, tingles of feeling tickling through Lian’s body as she waited for some sign from Teresa.

  With a sigh, Teresa visibly relaxed and extended a hand to Lian. “Come on. I don’t want to be late.”

  Unsure what the night would bring, Lian mentally fortified herself before tentatively accepting Teresa’s grip. Teresa’s fingers slid against her own, traveling down to her palm and gently grasping it. She had to suppress a shiver. “Okay.”

  ***

  The venue for the show was a good-sized bar, with dark wooden tables and matching chairs taking up most of the floor space. It was packed but not at capacity, the booths at the long wall adjacent to the stage full but some seats remaining open at other tables. Teresa thought maybe it was for the best; being pushed up close to Lian in a booth was dangerously appealing.

  Fixated on Lian’s hand lightly gripping her wrist, Teresa was aimless as they wound their way through the tables in search of an unoccupied one with two open chairs. Teresa had to gently shake herself when Lian’s hesitant gait became laden with purpose. Lian led the way to one of the tables along the back wall, where they were finally able to squeeze into some empty seats. She wasn’t sure how Lian had spotted what must have been the last table without people, but she was glad for the superficial sense of privacy.

  The band Teresa and Lian had come to see wasn’t on first, but the opening act was reportedly good.

  They exchanged inane conversation as they waited for the crew to set up for the first set. They strained to hear one another as everyone else had the same idea, Teresa especially struggling since she found herself unable to look directly at Lian. When the opening band arrived on stage and introduced themselves, she tried to pay attention. Two songs in, Teresa realized they weren’t good enough to occupy her for long—not with Lian sitting next to her.

  Her attention kept unconsciously shifting to Lian. First, it was the small, adorable movements Lian made as she tried not to dance along to a song. Then, it was the gentle curve of her nose, and how it twitched when someone walked by carrying a basket of fries. Teresa hid a smile and pushed her hands hard against her knees. The urge to reach out for Lian’s hand, to brush back some hair hiding those glorious cheekbones, or for just a casual touch to her leg, was overwhelming.

  The next time her awareness was drawn to Lian, she found Lian’s dark eyes regarding her with a twinkle. She chided herself and wrenched her attention back to the stage.

  She knew firsthand that getting involved with a friend was messy, even if she and Sıdıka had eventually worked things out. Given Lian’s ties to Vivian, any resulting mess could be multiplied tenfold. It hadn’t been that long since she’d split with Holly, either.

  But…

  Lian was an attractive, sweet, kind, and sensitive woman. Given their admittedly flirtatious exchanges, Lian seemed to be attracted to her, too.

  They were adults. Would it really be so bad if they let something happen? It was just hormones, or pheromones, or something. They were on a trip and had been in close quarters for extended hours.

  They were adults, but nothing about Lian screamed casual. Lian wasn’t into that, Teresa knew. She didn’t have sex for the sake of sex, or seem like the type that would be fine just letting things happen to see where they would lead. Teresa bobbed her head along with the music without really listening. Maybe the feelings would pass, and everything would be fine.

  A loud man precariously balancing five glasses made a beeline for the table to Lian’s left, bumping her arm without apology and addressing his laughing friends. He stood for a moment, then snagged a spare chair from Lian and Teresa’s table without asking, shoving it into place at his already crowded table and taking a seat.

  Teresa scowled at his presumption but didn’t comment, not wanting to cause a fuss before they were able to enjoy the music they’d come for. She slid a look over to Lian, who was frowning. The man’s new position encroached on Lian’s space, his back sometimes coming into contact with Lian when he leaned back.

  “Here,” Teresa said as she scooted her chair to the right.

  Lian gave her a relieved look, awkwardly shifting her own chair closer to Teresa and further away from the stranger.

  Teresa considered moving her chair again. Though it would make it necessary for her to twist her neck toward the stage, Lian’s thigh was gently, distractingly pressing against hers. “I can move more,” she found herself saying, “or we can swap seats. We don’t have to stay for the whole time, either.”

  “No. No, that’s okay. I want you to enjoy the show.” Lian offered her a small smile.

  “I want you to enjoy the show too,” Teresa countered.

  Their eyes met in a silent contest of wills. Lian’s smile stretched wider. “This is fine. I promise.”

  Teresa sucked on her lower lip, tingles rippling through her skin when Lian momentarily leaned closer. “Okay.”

  She forced herself to engage in small talk after that, anxiously awaiting the next band and trying not to look too much at Lian—which was hard, since she wanted to look every time either of them moved.

  As the last song came to an end, the lead singer began talking. Teresa forced her attention his way. “Thanks for being such a great crowd tonigh
t, it’s been awesome playing for you. Next up, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell anyone here, is Letters from Sappho!”

  A round full of cheers and applause began, and Teresa found herself being swept away in everyone’s enthusiasm. She clapped and cheered too, excited to finally see the band they’d come for.

  On stage, the lights picked up as the opening act cleared away and some roadies helped the next set up. The lead singer, a tall woman with short dark hair, eventually strutted onto the stage with a guitar. “Good evening, Baltimore,” she said with a smirk when she reached the microphone. She was greeted with another series of cheers and applause, a few whistles mixed in from a set of tables closest to the stage. The singer grinned down at them. “Oh, hey, I remember you.”